oscillate wildly

Hello to everyone subscribed to this board, especially those who are reading this! =) How 'it' began... Since I would like to introduce myself, I will start my vegan history from the beginning, because I think that the more detailed information I'll share the more detailed help I could receive. I became a vegan at the end of 2002, as I read a book about raw-foodism. I was not really convinced by the raw-food guru, but by the ethical reasons which the book had to offer concerning the treatment of animals in everyday life and at the 'meat-indsutry'. Especially the pictures of tortured animals and the fact that they suffer as much as humans - such as I am - would, I instantly decided to stop consuming any animal products. Reading and studying any information I could get using the internet, I learned about the benefits of a vegan diet, such as ethical, ecocogical and health reasons. Since I had suffered from neurodermatitis (a severe skin rash) for my life time I decided to try out the raw food lifestyle for a month. The success was quite overwhelming: each and every symptom dissapeared in about 3 weeks which proved to me that the vegan diet has benefits, but also how bad the 'normal' diet had to be. In Germany they eat lots of meat, especially 'wurst' (sausage) and much pork. After this rapid increase of health many more changes appeared week after week. I began to do sports again. Especially in endurance sports and sprint I gained good skills, which made me to take part of a soccer team of my hometown, where I gained much success as well. The only performance I can remember with facts is: 100m sprint in 12,0 seconds. Regarding the fact that i never really was into sports before, I was very pleased with this. The following 3 years from 2003 - 2006 I constantly played soccer in my team and did endurance sports (jogging). Everything worked quite good and the best thing was that I was able to convince many of my friends to assume a vegetarian or even vegan diet and lifestyle. Up to today I call about 20 vegans/vegetarians my friends, which is very, very nice and motivating. The sudden drop in 2007 2007 was a bad year for me. I was at very good health and everything worked well. If there hadn't been a plant called marihuana. I think you all can imagine that I became very lethargic by consuming big quantities of this drug. I quit sports. I nourished my body badly (vegan, but mostly instant foods and soft drinks...). I gained fat and things that worked well turned into bad. The worst thing was at the end of 2007. One day I had a collapse and was brought to hospital. A doctor made a diagnosis and I was brought to psychiatry, where I stayed at for 16 weeks. I had a severe mental illnes triggered/activated by the extensive marihuana consumption. In hospital was no vegan diet available, so I switched to vegetarian. I have to say that the German health system seems to be very good. Even the time was very hard, and I had to start completely over, the doctors were very nice and with the help of medication I gained 100% disappearance of every symptom, which is very seldom. So I guess I made a mistake by doing drugs, but I was lucky to get healthy again. After the 18 weaks I slowly switched to a vegn diet again, but I gained that much weight. At the time I was able to run 100 metres in 12 secons I had a weight of 62 - 65 kilograms, at 1,80metres tall. At the beginning of 2009 I was 94kg heavy, which is way to much, without any doubt, because all I gained was fat. (One reason was the medication I took. Now I take a very small amount of medication which won't affect my weight. In about 2-3 years I am able to live without medication. They have to be reduced very slowly, thats why the period of 2-3 years). Starting over again! At the beginning of 2009 I switched to vegan, and decided to achieve my fitness level from the years 2003 - 2006. I read a lot about nutrition. Wednesday, the 14th on january I started my new nutriotion at a weight of 94kg, 14.01.2009: 94,0kg 22.01.2009: 90,2kg from january 28th to february 03th I had to stop my strict diet because I had to work in Paris, were the company I work for had a exhibition, and there were business lunch/meals included (vegetarian, of course). 15.02.2009: 89,0kg So, how does my nutrition look like? At the morning at 7 'o clock I drink 1 litre of a fresh fruit juice consisting of oranges, apples and carrotts. At 9 at work I eat fruits once again. A mango and a apple, bananas... At 12 I eat some whole-flour bread with tofu and salad. Soy Milk. As a snack I eat about 100 - 150grams of nuts (such as cashews, hazelnut, almonds) In the evening I eat cooked natural red rice or red lentils with vegetables. Also I make a shake consisting of soymilk and 20grams of spirulina. I take 15-30mg of zinc, and the whole variety of B-Vitamins as supplement. I hope I'll lose much weight in a short perios of time, because I want to do sports again! Therefore, I want to have a weight of 80kg, before I try endurance sports again. And I have a deep, doubtless wish to gain a well-shaped body and to get rid of all this excrescent, useless body-fat. Thus, I want to start bodybuilding. I have to admit, that my primary target is an aesthetical, well-formed body-shape, including a six-pack, nice arms and breast-muscles. The easiest will be my legs, because of the years of soccer i played. I know these goals my sound ridiculous, but I know that I have the discipline to achieve these goals, because I have made it through other challenges such as sickness, as I described before, which took my much endurance, patience and activism. But: I have a lack of knowledge! To achieve my goals, I registered at this board, to read about bodybuilding, how to start and so on... I think I am going to post some 'before' respectively 'now'-pictures and update every two weeks or so... In general, my craving for recognition is not so big that I'll share photos of myself all the time, but I guess that it will be helpful for my motivation and seeing my own achievements, and also for other boardmembers to give me helpful tipps. That's what I am here for! I would like to be a active part of this community, so I wrote this long text I hope I did not annoy anyone (I guess I did...) and thank you to everyone who took his time and read until here. To conclude: What would you recommend me to read? Tipps how to start? Nutrition tips to lose fat? Shouls I begin exercising (bodybuidling) immediately? and so on and so on.... I am looking forward to some answers, thanks in advance, and nice greetings from Germany! r.