“vegetarian"

Anything else on your mind that you would like to discuss with other like-minded people.

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Sknydpr
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#46 Postby Sknydpr » Thu Nov 10, 2005 3:22 am

Well, you're right: not many people buy me drinks. Or at least I tend to stay out of the kind of bars where they might. :D

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#47 Postby Vamprilla » Thu Nov 10, 2005 12:05 pm

Megan and CG, you guys are leaving me in the dust. lol. No, I'm not Vegan. What I meant when I said that any girl who isn't vegan is sick is that that's what Robert view probably is. But I am trying to go Vegan.
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#48 Postby Aaron » Thu Nov 10, 2005 2:08 pm

On many things:

Drinks/Topher - I used to be in the same boat. I'm less so now. I didn't have my first drink until just before my 25th birthday. As it is I don't drink more than once a month if that. And I'm significantly sensitive to potential alcohol abuse given that my family has a predisposition for it. That and people who are ishtfaced annoy me :P But for anyone who would go for a non-drinking S.O. I totally feel you. It's can be a lonely ship to sail.

Veg*n partners - A friend once asked me why I wanted to control the people I dated. Which I don't know as exactly accurate but it did provide me with a different framework to consider. It was then that I began to understand my desire as part of a general environmental desire. I don't want meat in my house. My suggestion that a partner be at least vegetarian I think reflects that more than a controlling desire to shape a sig other. I've got a vegetarian roommate. He's awesome. I skip out on functions that focus on meat - ie thanksgiving... Or modify them as needed for my comfort - ie having a vegan thanksgiving a day later ;) In considering partners I think it's really a functional thing... Like if you don't want kids and your partner wants them. It's sort of a huge stumbling block in a relationship... life goals/lifestyles not meshing. Variety is nice, opposites attract, etc. but at some point you have to live with the person for years on end. Be nice if it was someone who didn't push your buttons by their very lifestyle ;)

More on drinks - Gin and tonic. Free drinks: Yeah those are nice. There's a great GLBTQandStraight place here that does drag shows and has a dance floor. The place is a total party and fun environment. And free drinks sometimes. I've never had a girl buy me a drink, but I think I've gotten some freebies from guys before. Straight guys even. I think they might've been a bit drunk :P

On being vegan without being veggie in the middle - I think I was veggie for like 4 weeks? 2 weeks? I realized if I couldn't really digest dairy and didn't eat eggs I could be vegan if I just dropped honey. People ask me if it was hard. I say it's as hard as controlling what goes in your mouth. It's a rational thing - you look at it rationally - can I control what goes in my mouth? If yes, then you can be vegan. If no... then there's perhaps other things that are of concern too? When I went vegan a lot of switches flipped in my head. Or perhaps more aptly as I went vegan. It did take some settling in to get to know wtf I was doing :)

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#49 Postby Aaron » Thu Nov 10, 2005 2:13 pm

I always hear things like "Oh, you look just like our nephew Knut!" or "You remind me very much of XY!"


Knut :D Best name ever.

So i get two usually, and it depends on what kind of movies people are watching most frequently... and my tan probably. I get billy zane from some folks, and vin diesel (albeit on a smaller scale) from some others.

But I think what I really meant was an identical, indistinguishable, twin-esque person.

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#50 Postby Richard » Thu Nov 10, 2005 2:23 pm

Buh, yeah I have people saying that it's 'controlling' to want people to be vegan in a relationship. That's bullshit. It's like saying it's 'controlling' to say that you don't want your partner to kick babies in the head for no reason. Kicking babies in the head for no reason isn't a very nice thing to do, as is killing animals. Fuck em!
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#51 Postby veggymeggy » Thu Nov 10, 2005 2:31 pm

Aaron wrote:
I always hear things like "Oh, you look just like our nephew Knut!" or "You remind me very much of XY!"


Knut :D Best name ever.

So i get two usually, and it depends on what kind of movies people are watching most frequently... and my tan probably. I get billy zane from some folks, and vin diesel (albeit on a smaller scale) from some others.

But I think what I really meant was an identical, indistinguishable, twin-esque person.


Hehe, based on your avatar I can totally see where they get the Billy Zane comparison :D
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#52 Postby tylerm » Thu Nov 10, 2005 8:35 pm

Aaron wrote: I skip out on functions that focus on meat - ie thanksgiving... Or modify them as needed for my comfort - ie having a vegan thanksgiving a day later ;)

My girl and I do the same thing, last year for thanksgiving week we went to Jamaica, and this year we are going to Playa del Carmen, Mexico (just booked the trip last night, f$#k yeah!). There are a couple of vegetarians in my family, but I just don't like thanksgiving as a holiday anyway. My friends and I do have vegan thanksgivings most every year, even though they are only vegetarians and some meat eaters. We make tofurkeys, mashed potatoes, stuffing and the like.

Aaron wrote:More on drinks - Gin and tonic.

My favorite drink! People tell me this is a grandpa type of drink, but hey, my grandpa used to drink them when I was a kid, so I guess they are right

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#53 Postby veggymeggy » Thu Nov 10, 2005 8:44 pm

tylerm wrote:
Aaron wrote: I skip out on functions that focus on meat - ie thanksgiving... Or modify them as needed for my comfort - ie having a vegan thanksgiving a day later ;)

My girl and I do the same thing, last year for thanksgiving week we went to Jamaica, and this year we are going to Playa del Carmen, Mexico (just booked the trip last night, f$#k yeah!). There are a couple of vegetarians in my family, but I just don't like thanksgiving as a holiday anyway. My friends and I do have vegan thanksgivings most every year, even though they are only vegetarians and some meat eaters. We make tofurkeys, mashed potatoes, stuffing and the like.

Aaron wrote:More on drinks - Gin and tonic.

My favorite drink! People tell me this is a grandpa type of drink, but hey, my grandpa used to drink them when I was a kid, so I guess they are right


I am planning on cooking my own vegan food for Thanksgiving. I rarely get to see my family so even though I'm not a big fan of the holiday as a whole I'll still be going. Though, if Mexico were an option, I'd happily ditch the holiday.

....
The night before my birthday I was out and about and my regular drink purchaser screwed up and ordered me a gin and tonic instead of a vodka tonic (I think he was a bit tipsy himself because it's always vodka tonic)....anyway so it was my first one, and it was not nearly as bad as I was afraid. As I said before, I think my gin aversion is finally fading (3 years later :) ) It's a classic, not a grandpa drink. Like an Old Fashioned! :P
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#54 Postby compassionategirl » Thu Nov 10, 2005 8:52 pm

Richard wrote:Buh, yeah I have people saying that it's 'controlling' to want people to be vegan in a relationship. That's bullshit. It's like saying it's 'controlling' to say that you don't want your partner to kick babies in the head for no reason. Kicking babies in the head for no reason isn't a very nice thing to do, as is killing animals.




EXACTLY Richard. :!: :!: :!: :!: :!:

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#55 Postby veganmadre » Sat Nov 12, 2005 1:24 pm

Madcat, that's got to be tough. Maybe you can handle it, but I couldn't handle being in a relationship with someone who isn't vegan - let alone vegetarian. I know, because I have been there. Veganism defines me. It dictates where I shop, what I wear, soap I'll use....soap-for fucks sake! It surely is going to dictate who I date. Eating meat repulses me. Maybe it's easier to accept because you aren't witnessing the slaughter on a daily basis - so when you hear pork, you think pork in the fresh meat section of the supermarket. But, if your boyfriend came home and said "yeah. i tried to fill up but I couldn't so I had some human flesh" you'd be stunned and disgusted. Because you interact with humans regularly. Because your initial though would jump to "who "murdered" someone for food? I'd bet you wouldn't even be able to look at him as he told you this. Because IT IS gross, cruel and unneccesary! Eating animal flesh is just as attrocious!

I'm in the same boat as Topher, Robert and Richard. I'd rather noone if they aren't compassionate, vegan, nonsubstance-using (including alcohol) ...

And, yeah, Richard, I'm with compassionategirl with re: to your analogy. Exact. muthfahk
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#56 Postby Aaron » Sun Nov 13, 2005 4:47 pm

So I'm thinking about this over the last day or two:

It's like saying it's 'controlling' to say that you don't want your partner to kick babies in the head for no reason. Kicking babies in the head for no reason isn't a very nice thing to do, as is killing animals. Fuck em!


Somewhere there's a comment to be made about not all of us having been vegan all our lives and the greater, overwhelmingly greater, group within society that doesn't connect what they eat and their compassion for animals. So I don't know that it's entirely fair to group kicking babies in the head for no reason (is there ever a reason? :P) with not being vegan/vegetarian.

I know that I thought I was delightfully animal-welfare-concerned and environmentally concerned for quite some time before I went vegan. And part of what made being vegan(and even vegetarian) happen for me was a supportive partner (since gone). I think I'm still in the meet people where they're at boat. Then see where the tide of getting to know you takes them. That said if they are buttheads about my veganism, or don't respect that I don't want to watch them eat meat... then that's a different story. I think that enters the realm of respect for self in relationships...

Hmmm...

I like this thread. It doesn't get my homework done, but if there's a topic that's intriguing to me as of late... relationships are it.

-Aaron

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#57 Postby veggymeggy » Sun Nov 13, 2005 5:06 pm

Aaron wrote:So I'm thinking about this over the last day or two:


I know that I thought I was delightfully animal-welfare-concerned and environmentally concerned for quite some time before I went vegan. And part of what made being vegan(and even vegetarian) happen for me was a supportive partner (since gone). I think I'm still in the meet people where they're at boat. Then see where the tide of getting to know you takes them. That said if they are buttheads about my veganism, or don't respect that I don't want to watch them eat meat... then that's a different story. I think that enters the realm of respect for self in relationships...

-Aaron


It seems to me that partners can be quite influential in helping someone go vegan or vegetarian, which is part of why I don't rule people out just because they're not. My ex agreed to try it to impress a woman (not me :P good reason why we're exes), and while that's completely effed up logic, it's better than eating meat. It'd be lovely to have someone who has my ideals to start with, but most of us weren't born vegan so I'm not opposed to giving someone the benefit of the doubt on being able to change.
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#58 Postby veganmadre » Sun Nov 13, 2005 5:23 pm

I'm not a relationship expert but, bear with me anyway. I don't believe it is EVER a good idea to enter a relationship with expectations of changing the other person - regardless of how big/small the change may be.

People change in relationships naturally. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. Will you be happy in the long run if the person continues to eat meat? Will the person resent you for attempting to "change" him/her? It's not fair to either of you to forge a bond that will end up ultimately disappointing both of you.
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#59 Postby veggymeggy » Sun Nov 13, 2005 5:43 pm

veganmadre wrote:I'm not a relationship expert but, bear with me anyway. I don't believe it is EVER a good idea to enter a relationship with expectations of changing the other person - regardless of how big/small the change may be.

People change in relationships naturally. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. Will you be happy in the long run if the person continues to eat meat? Will the person resent you for attempting to "change" him/her? It's not fair to either of you to forge a bond that will end up ultimately disappointing both of you.


I cope if they don't change. I don't push for it, I'm more of a lead by example sort. In the afforementioned case, we were together 3 years and he never changed and it wasn't an issue so long as he respected my choices. He did adapt some healthier eating habits as a result of being with me, but didn't give up meat until he found someone more interesting to him, and that was a choice to change he made entirely on his own. (I don't know if he stuck with it).
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#60 Postby Aaron » Sun Nov 13, 2005 6:39 pm

I don't believe it is EVER a good idea to enter a relationship with expectations of changing the other person - regardless of how big/small the change may be.


And therein lies the rub.

I wonder how the expression of that value happens. That strength of a value where a person, who for all other intensive purposes is extraordinarily pleasant company, does this thing... that make your environment uncomfortable. And then you're left to decide...

Hm.

Rethinking this... Maybe that expression of value doesn't happen in a sort of either or way. Rather it's just something that's discussed at some point. Relationships are interesting things indeed.


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