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I have a moral dilemma.


west2100
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So Thanksgiving is coming up, in less than two weeks in fact. I'm going to be going home for the holidays from college, and as usual, mom's going to be doing the cooking.

 

Now from a culinary point of view, this is absolutely terrific, my mom is a wonderful cook, and most of my extended family is coming to the house, as they always have, because it's just a wonderful time of food and family for all. However, my parents aren't anything even resembling vegan. Not that I fault them for it, after all we're from south Georgia, and the entire culture is steeped in tradition.

 

I don't want to change this tradition by forcing my mom to veganize her recipes and possibly anger the other guests with the risk that her signature dishes simply won't be the same. I also don't want to be an annoyance that hinders the fun and ease of this family holiday tradition.

 

Simutaneously, I would love to have a thanksgiving where I can enjoy the food and share in the meal without seeming aloof from not eating the food with everyone else at the table. I suppose I'm going to prepare a thing or two for myself, and look at her recipes in the hopes of finding that some of them are vegan, but truthfully it won't be the same.

 

Not to say she isn't willing to help. My mom has gone above and beyond

all my expectations with me going vegan, and she's completely willing to try veganizing anything, from cornbread to pie to dressing. That's not the issue at hand, it's more that I see this joyful holiday that's always been such a time of enjoyment among everyone that I just hate to infringe upon it simply because of my(and mine alone) choices.

 

What should I do in this situation? Furthermore, what do you do in such situations?

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I honestly don't think it would detract much from the meal to make it more vegan friendly. Stuffing can be made with veggiebroth and margarine. Same with potatoes. I'm assuming the bulk of the sides are made with milk,broth/fat,and butter. Those are easily be substituted for without influencing texture or flavor. If you give me actual side dishes, I can make better suggestions.

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Vegan Madre is right that many dishes can be veganized with no noticeable difference in taste. You may also want to make a vegan "main dish" to go with the sides. Something like a lentil loaf, maybe? You could also make a kick-butt dessert. Cruise on over to www.vegweb.com & check out their recipe section. You will find lots & lots of good ideas there. This is a great time to show your family that vegans eat lots of delish foods.

 

As far as your feeling that you are infringing on their day, I think you should let that thinking go. You have made a choice to live a more compassionate life & it sounds like your mom is very understanding & respectful of that. This is a great opportunity for your mom to add new dishes to her signature menu -- dishes with compassion.

 

Good luck west2100.

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This is going to be my first Thanksgiving as a vegan, though I have done many as a vegetarian. It's just me and my parents, though, so nothing big. Most of our traditional side dishes already are vegan--we have stuff like a salad, sweet potatoes, mashed turnips, a green veggie, and homemade cranberry-orange relish. I won't be able to have my dad's delish stuffing, though, as it uses cornbread (eggs, milk) and butter. But that's okay--I'll just give that a miss rather than asking him to veganize it. He probably would not know how to do that anyway, and he makes it at home and then brings it so I wouldn't be there to guide him.

 

My parents bring their own precooked turkey (not a whole one as it's for only 2 people) and I usually have Tofurkey. Then we both have those other side dishes, which I make. And I make a vegan pumpkin pie, which my parents both really like.

Edited by FormicaLinoleum
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Help your mom out to veganize what you can. Also, Try to make something different from the norm that people will be willing to try as well. And make a big gourmet vegan salad. A really good one is romaine, craisins, walnuts, and rasberry vinagrette. It was really popular last year with my family. Or vegan chocolate covered pretzels....people can't resist. And most of all just have a positive attitude, don't act aloof and left out, show everyone that you can have a great meal and a great time as a vegan.

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What should I do in this situation? Furthermore, what do you do in such situations?

 

That's great that your mom is so supportive and willing to veganize her recipes for you. I've got both supportive and unsupportive people in my family, so I know how much of a difference it makes.

 

If I were in your situation, I'd definitely ask your mom to veganize the dishes that can be made vegan without changing the flavor significantly (my guess is, at least half of the menu could be adapted easily) and tell her not to worry about the rest. I can understand about not wanting to impose your lifestyle choices on others, because I feel the same way... but they would probably be happier eating something made with margarine vs. butter or soymilk vs. cowmilk, rather than have you at the table and not sharing food with them, so don't hesitate to suggest a few changes. This is also a good opportunity to introduce a few new vegan recipes to the thanksgiving menu that will become future family favorites.

 

Thanksgiving will be a creative endeavor in my house this year. I'm vegan (transitioning, almost there) and avoid bread, son is vegetarian, daughter is omni and not always very open-minded about trying new "vegan" things. (Last year, we were all omni) My mom just moved in with us last week, she's omni (but has been eating vegan/vegetarian quite a bit here because my food is yummy!) and allergic to wheat. It's just the four of us, so we don't have any other relatives to keep happy... but we haven't exactly figured out what we're eating yet, either. The focal point of our Thanksgiving feast has always been a large turkey and a lot of rolls with butter (all the things I'm no longer eating!) so this year will be very different, whatever the menu is.

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