My favorite vegan joke:
Why do vegans refuse to eat chicken?
Because there are eggs in it!
Okay, you may consider it unvegan, but i think it's funny and one should be able to laugh about oneself!
An old lady comes to the doctor. She complains in extenso
about her bloating.
"You know, doctor, it's horrible! I fart all the time, but you can't hear it and don't smell it! In the short time since i've come in, i've already farted at least twenty times, but you couldn't notice, as they don't smell and are silent!"
The doctor nods to himself, writes a recipe and hands it to the old lady. "Here, take this 3 times a day and come back in a week. It should be better by then."
After only three days, the lady returns.
"Doctor, what have you done! It's horrible! I still fart all the time, still silently, but now they smell
The doctor replies: "Okay, good. Now that your nose is better, we can focus on your ears."
Just a little doctor joke