Vegan Bodybuilding & Fitness

These two guys are sitting at the bar at the top of the Empire State Building, and they're both fairly drunk.

One of them turns to the other, and says "You know, I've discovered that you can jump off the ledge here, and once you fall to the 20th floor, the updraft from the ground will stop you and put you gently on the ground."

The other drunk says "Yeah, sure. I may be drunk but I'm not stupid."

The first guy says "Okay, I'll show you," and he walks to the ledge and jumps off. Sure enough, he rapidly falls 82 floors and then stops and slowly floats the rest of the way down.

Once he returns to the bar, his drinking buddy is amazed but still skeptical. So he repeats the performance: he jumps off the ledge, falls like a rock for 82 floors, then slowly and gently descends the rest of the way to the ground.

He returns to the bar once more. The second guy says "Okay, I'm convinced! I just have to do that myself!"

The second drunk hurries to the ledge and jumps off. He plummets 82 stories. Then 92. Then he hits the ground with a splat.

The bartender looks at the first man and says "You know, Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk."

haha
now its my turn:

which animal has his asshole on the side?




















the policedog

both jokes were

ahaahahaahahahhaa i actually giggled outloud

Me too

I laughed out loud, just at the question about the animal with his *sshole on his side, even before I saw the answer

My favorite vegan joke:

Why do vegans refuse to eat chicken?



---




Because there are eggs in it!




Okay, you may consider it unvegan, but i think it's funny and one should be able to laugh about oneself!



Another one:


An old lady comes to the doctor. She complains in extenso about her bloating.
"You know, doctor, it's horrible! I fart all the time, but you can't hear it and don't smell it! In the short time since i've come in, i've already farted at least twenty times, but you couldn't notice, as they don't smell and are silent!"
The doctor nods to himself, writes a recipe and hands it to the old lady. "Here, take this 3 times a day and come back in a week. It should be better by then."
After only three days, the lady returns.
"Doctor, what have you done! It's horrible! I still fart all the time, still silently, but now they smell nauseating!"
The doctor replies: "Okay, good. Now that your nose is better, we can focus on your ears."
...


Just a little doctor joke

hahahahahahaha, I had a feeling the ending of the fart joke might be something like that.

My brother Ryan (the farmer) is the king of fart jokes. Maybe I'll get some from him sometime.

I do stand-up comedy but don't really tell "jokes", I just tell stories and act things out, use different voices, and stuff like that.

-Rob Dogg

hahahahahaha

the fart joke is the best one i've heard for months!