I am so in debt

all I ever get is constant nagging by my mom of how much in debt I am due to college loans, car repairs, and medical bills. its driving me insane.

I have so much stress right now cause I am thousands of dollars in debt.

and now with a school loan, Im gonna be in even more debt.

I hate when Im in good moods and then my mom brings me right down.

I cycle 20 miles a day and lift....I dont see how that is lazy. I spend my spare time working nonstop with my dad doing house repairs. I take care of my sister when my mom wants to go out. I help around the house with chores and all that. yet I am still deemed lazy and worthless. and I am told I have no future, etc when I am working hard towards goals.

one thing I hate is negative energy and enablers.

sorry im just venting.

it really has me re-thinking all my plans through.

Dude I get the same shit off people. One of my friends in particular thinks I am lazy, and my dad thinks I am lazy. They have different values and ideas of what you 'should' be doing, and what is a 'waste of time', and it can get me down, and make me feel more worthless than I would feel if I was with positive people who were supportive. It sucks. You can always earn money man, don't let people tell you money is all that important.

Sorry, buddy. I get similar crap from my parents. You'll do fine.

thanks guys. it cheered me up a lil bit.

I still have no idea how I am gonna manage to afford personal training school, transportation, food, and all my bills (medical, car repairs, college loan, pt school loan, other expenses). it has me re-thinking everything.

if I could just sell my car and pay off my loans and debt to my mom, I would be debtfree, and then free to do what I want. but I am always a slave to money even when I dont want to be. I want to be a personal trainer sooo bad, but on the same end I dont want to have to stay somewhere I dont like just to earn money (aka the city). I hate it up the NYC area. its so polluted. I really just want to move to portland. and be a trainer out there. but if I go to this school and get this loan, i am stuck for at least a yr in hoboken. but i will be making great money, which I will save and then use that to pay off my debt and move out to portland.

hmm im just rambling.

I like the phrase 'tomorrow is more important than today'. It gets me in the right frame of mind for some things. You might have to go through some shit to get what you want. You can see a path at least, a way to achieve what you want. It might not be ideal, but it sounds like you have a plan. Forget people's negativity, look at the facts and what you think is the best action to take.

thanks mate. I just have some heavy thinking to do.

you could always just do what I do with regards to debt - ignore it

i know it doesn't make it go away, but, since some things I simply can't pay off today or tomorrow, stressing about it will only make me sick and depressed.

you are soo young, topher! it's crazy to expect everything to be in line right now! do what you love...really. i never did because my family considered my dreams to be too risky (design and/or theatre). now, i'm about 90 credits into a psychology degree and have no desire to really work in the field for the rest of my life...I dropped out of school several times, lost my scholarship, entered really bad relationships and had kids really young while trying to create my own identity while still living under the shadow of my family.

Working a 9-5, paper-pushing, or executive job isn't for everyone. If you really aren't seeking a fortune, do what makes you happy...then money issues are the major stressor, and it won't seem so bad then! I wish I would have done this...now I have responsibilities that are great but I'm trying to figure out how to get back on track...we're in the same boat...I totally relate! Sucks!

I cant ignore it when its shoved in my face. my mom will stand in front of me and get all in my face red and yelling at me whenever she sees me. she just doesnt let it go. its like "hey theres my son, let me totally piss him off by yelling at him nonstop". she worries and I know she loves me but her approach is totally a way to drive me off the cliff. even when i tell her that there is no need to be stressing me out like this, when i do not rub all her problems in her face. she totally drove my younger brother to despise her. and i went thru a period of homelessness/depression due to the way she did this to me. I hate how I am her "scratching post". she totally directs any and all stress she has in her life at me. MEH.

I want to be a personal trainer to help ppl stay in shape, to learn knowledge about nutrition and lifting so i can help out more in the future. cause right now, i lift weights, yeh its cool but i know nothing. i always feel so silly giving advice to ppl or when they look to me for answers. i figured being a PT would give me a free gym memebrship (cut down on expenses), and it will force me to stay in shape, eat and be healthy, and to continue to grow and get bigger. and I will feel great cause I am improving clients quality of lives.

but at the same time, a goal ive been aspiring since I was 13, was to teach snowboarding. I taught a few winters here and loved it, but i want to go teach on a REAL mountain. I Want to go to portland to snowboard mt hood and cause i love it there. and i want to go to the new zealand snowboard course, so i can get certified and teach around the world a few months of the yr. I am not the best snowboarder in the world, and i dont care about rich, fame, and fortune. I am just all about being happy and enjoying life while helping others.

I was always injured when i snowboarded due to tricks and stuff, and everyone tells me snowboarding isnt a real career and stuff. but its where my heart lies at. they tell me i live in the moment too much and dont think about my future. what happens when i am like 30 or 40 and I Cant snowboard anymore due to messed up knees. or if i shatter my heel (like my brother did) then what? i wasted my life away, and i am out a job cause its too risky. Ive broken numerous arms, wrists, fingers, concussions, etc from riding over here in the ICE COAST. but this is where my heart is.

I figured go to personal trainer school, work that, move to portland, save up, go to NZ, then i be a personal trainer in PDX, and 3 months of the yr I go instruct snowboarding in various countries.

I hate how we cant just do the things we love. I love helping ppl and animals, why should there be shame in that?

I was raised to be selfless and help others. but now, the very person that taught me that, is a hypocrate. mehh ive had it.

my dad is really all for me to go to the NZ course and go teach snowboarding. he is all behind me for that, but I am soo in debt and broke that I Cant afford it. so i thought the personal trainer would be a way for me to be able to save up to afford to do the NZ thing. but i would then have to spend AT LEAST an extra yr in hoboken, nj. yeh its great cause there's rich ppl and famous ppl and all that. but i really dont care about that. but at the same time I do, cause the more well known I get, the more power I have, the more power I have, the better I can help spread veganism. its all for the greater cause.

Im just having a tough time trying to figure out what Im doing. and I Cant stay here anymore, come winter I will have a hard time getting around without a car, and there are no jobs here that are close by. everything is a far distance.

I go visit personal training school on wednesday, and I am having "cold feet". I really just want to move my way out west.

ehhh

sorry for this loooong post. also i dont know how much of it makes sense. and sorry for these moods if it appears i go thru em. I cant help em and I never know when I contradict myself due to being bipolar.

sorry about your situation madre.

you aren't contradicting yourself, so don't stress out! your emotions are real, bipolar or not so address them for crying out loud! my mother is the same way, that's why i live across the country from her. getting away will help...that's pretty much all you can do - she's not going to change. What are you going to do for work in Pennsylvania, anyway? I'm will to bet you could find it in portland. What about the training school that kollision mentioned earlier? That would allow you to move out of the city and to portland, right?

Here's what i recommend, so, take it for what it is worth, listen to music, take a walk, take a nap, a bath, whatever...don't even bother looking at this thread until tomorrow. see how you feel then.

You'll sabotage your own success by surrounding yourself with negative people! Without giving a biography, let me just say that i am witness to this. I think you have a greatest chance for happiness if you leave your present environment and let things fall into place from there....

Then again, what do I know. Sorry! This is totally hard!

I dont want to stay in PA anymore.

for work what can I do? Ive done various jobs everything from sales to home repairs.

I want to teach snowboarding. Im already a qualified instructor here in PA. I would like to work at mt hood in portland. or some really fun personable job.

the reason I liked this school was cause its hands on. I started learning this stuff in college when i was majoring in athletic training. and I Really hated it. but everyone told me when life gets hard u just cant give up. so i thought hey maybe a fitness school and I could learn it again and this time around I would be able to memorize it all.

but the school kollision mentioned is awesome, if it will give me the knowledge i need. which is I guess all I really need to know anyway....is the knowledge.

the school kollision mentioned would allow me to move to portland, have the best time of my life being there, lifting and training with rob, and id be able to get around due to awesome urban planning.

ive already listened to music and went for a walk. I have til tonight to decide what Im doing. cause once I go to orientation, thats it. there's officially no turning back.

so I Really cant wait til tomorrow to look at the thread.

I just said to myself what should I do, and then right on tv was snowboarding. and I totally just smiled and was REALLY into it. its like snowboarding has been a good 10 yrs of my life. Ive been skiiing since I Was 2. so thats about 19-20 yrs of my life that I have been snowsporting.

if i moved to portland, I could continue to bodybuild and help out others by posting on this website, plus other vegan fitness stuff planned . I could go to the online school to get my certification, and then when certified ,work at a gym and be a vegan personal trainer. i could snowboard mt hood, hike the trails and waterfalls, go to the beach. its so perfect. I dont see anything wrong with putting off a career and just living life.

by just living life I am already helping animals and ppl. so I guess I already have my career: being me, a compassionate person. thats it right there.

I have no way to pay off my debt unless I Can sell my car.

I guess Im choosing to take another path in life for right now. if i am out west, i am not relying on my parents. so therefore whatever i do, i will be in control of my own destiny. I think im going for it.

gonna wait and think some more before I "back out" of personal trainer school.

shit I still really want to go, and it be a great way once i am certified to afford the things I want to do...

meh I am so back and forth. I guess we'll see what happens

Hey Topher,

Sorry I didn't see this thread until after midnight where you are. I was off from work today but trained, napped, and helped my mom at home a little bit and visited with Kourtney and Megan.

I think I know how you feel, and we've talked about some of the issues you have going on with stress, money, etc.

Of course, I wish you the best, you know I love you like a brother, and whatever you decide, I'm sure we'll be hanging out and training together soon.

To be honest, I don't know what is "best" for your situation right now. I think your intuition and "gut feeling" will help you decide that. I've had to make some tough decisions in the past and I always asked a lot of my friends to get some input but in the end it always came down to my own 'gut feeling' of what I should be doing.

Please keep us updated and best of luck!

-Robert

Thin Thin Flat Him

my gut feeling takes me in so many directions. either way I have to move and get out of this house. so its one or the other.

here I have weighed out the situation:

Im still deep in thought as to whether I go thru with personal training school ($5400 for tuition) for 6 months, live up in a city I hate, get certified, and work a job for 1 yr up in the same city, making a difference in ppls lives, getting paid well, but being miserable cause of where I am. and being at least 10,000 or more in debt due to loans and bills. then move out to portland after I have saved up and have great work experience (hope I dont become a yuppie), and then pursue teaching snowboarding to kids, and work as a personal trainer til I can afford snowboard instructor school in NZ, so that I can teach around the world like I been dreaming for 10 yrs. and of course I will continue to bodybuild and help put veganbodybuilding on the map

or

get out of debt now by selling my car, get rid of almost all my posessions (which I would love to do), move out to Portland and be car-free. be able to train and eat with other vegans, take an online course ($500) get my personal trainer certification (if I wanted to be a personal trainer), work a shitty minimum wage job, but I will be happy cause of where I am, the hobbies Im doing, and the ppl Im with,...or I could work up on the snowboard mountain having a wonderful time:) either way im gonna ride mt hood. save up and then go do the NZ snowboard instructor school so I can teach around the world. and of course I will continue to bodybuild and help put veganbodybuilding on the map

it isnt obvious to me which path to take. both require a big amount of inner strength to move out on my own and do.

option 1: be miserable cause of the location and will be greatly in debt and have to commute a lot, study really hard (Im so sick of school), and work work work work but eventually I will have lots of money and able to afford the things I Want to do, but who knows how much time I will spend doing this...at least a year and a half but I will feel good cause I am helping ppl get and stay in shape the vegan way

or

option 2: be extremely poor, move to portland "on a whim" although I been planning to move there for years, and finally ride mt hood. I will teach lil kids to snowboard (best feeling ever), and continue to help others stay in shape the vegan way through veganbodybuilding.com and example. I might even be able to influence the lil grommetts (beginner snowboarders) to go vegan or be knowledgeable about it. I will also be able to train with Robert (veganbodybuilder), visit the beach, the mountain, the forest, waterfalls, national parks, and get around on foot/bicycle/great public transportation. theres no sales tax either, and theres lots of vegan restaurants.

so do I be miserable now, cause I will get a degree and it will pay off in the end. to get towards my goals (NZ)?

or

be happy now but really poor, no degree (backup plan), move to portland and work towards my goals (NZ)??

thanks.

option 1.:

personal trainer school

PROS:

degree

able to make lots of money after time

influence many firsthand to live the vegan lifestyle

knowledge

CONS:

location- miserable money rich city, Hoboken

commute

debt

spending at least 1-2 years or more in this city

pollution

the atmosphere (people are greedy and dont have the same morals)

option 2:

Portland, Oregon

PROS:

location- forests, rivers, beach, mt hood, the clean city, waterfalls

snowboarding

teaching grommetts

vegan restaurants

training with Rob / other activities

happiness

great public transportation

cycling/walking

the atmosphere (people are so kind in PDX)

no sales tax

meeting many other vegans and getting to hang out, dine, and train with them

CONS:

no degree

parents considering me a failure

very poor (might take a very long time to save up for NZ)

the whole goal is to eventually reside in Portland, instruct at mt hood, and then with NZ certification be able to instruct a few months of the year in various countries. and to also continue to bodybuild and influence others to go vegan.

OK here's one opinion:

Life isn't long enough that anyone should be spending years being miserable just to try to reach some mediocre goal that isn't even a sure thing. Even if it more or less works out, you will be stuck with those years of misery to haunt your memory forever.

I've just spent the last 9 years being miserable with the result that I was fired/escorted from the fucking building last week with no reason even given. How I wish I could have it to do over again.

Anyway though I don't really understand why Hoboken is really that bad, but if it really is to you, then you should leave.

He said to ignore this post, so I think he made up his mind already. Heres the new thread:

viewtopic.php?t=661

My story started when I was working for my uncle and wasn't making much as a web designer. I wasn't happy that I was doing a lot and earning little, so I thought about the business. After another talk about a pay raise, I wrote a letter of resignation. After working for two weeks and getting paid, I flew off with my girlfriend for a week's vacation. We spent all of that very same paycheck. When we got back, I decided to take out a loan to open a store. I applied to several banks, and only Gold West Financial, agreed to give me a loan. I was thrilled, even though I didn't know exactly what I was going to open.