Jump to content

Ridiculous stuff I just found


Richard
 Share

Recommended Posts

I was browsing for information about The Blair Witch project, when I came across this:

 

http://www.capalert.com/capreports/blairwitch.htm

 

I can barely believe how pedantic it is. Look at the scale at the bottom of the page also:

 

http://www.capalert.com/capreports/blairwitchdata.gif

 

Note how (as far as I can tell) they think that homosexuality is something which needs to be monitored. Whattjatalkinbaat??

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Argh I cannot believe what I'm reading:

 

"One hundred thirty seven uses of the most foul of the foul words. *The Blair Witch Project* actually beat *South Park:BLU* in use of the most foul of the foul words. Also were 71 uses of other three/four letter foul words PLUS 17 uses of God's name in vain, 6 of which were with the foul letter expletive and 3 of which were vain use of the name of our Savior. All other ignominy were paled by such a flip-off attitude. Yet one more excuse to lower standards of acceptance I suppose."

 

I think they have their priorities all wrong

Link to comment
Share on other sites

An explanation of the chart: things which score near 100 are 'morally acceptable'. The lower the score, the more immoral it is. So Blair Witch gets 0 / 100 for offense to God. Meaning that it has totally offended God. I bet He is totally P'D TO THE O about Blair Witch.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ouch, Butterfly Effect, they really were offended by!!

 

http://www.capalert.com/capreports/butterfyeffect-thedata.gif

 

I thought Butterfly Effect was an incredibly moral film which taught self-sacrifice! I totally don't get this website

 

OMGOMG ETC

 

Check out what negative things they have to say about Butterfly Effect! I can't believe it: (from a list of reasons why the film is immoral)

 

"punk/goth, repeatedly

facial/body piercings, repeatedly

massive tattoos"

 

The first "punk/goth, repeatedly" I can only assume means that there were goths/punks in the film!!! Oh how terrible! Cover your eyes!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry to keep posting, but you've GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. Finding Nemo, doesn't get a perfect score. Here's why: (I have high-lighted the particularly ridiculous)

 

"attack to eat with a father's loss of his entire family (400+) but one - Nemo (non-graphic)

fright factors

additional attacks to eat

series of posterior references and jokes/comments by young adolescents

adolescent defiance

"I hate you" from adolescent son to father

suggestion of flatulence"

 

Okay. Anyway, the film is about fish anyway. So they say that an attack on fish is immoral? So a film in which people eat fish should be immoral too right? Well they don't say so in other films. They just seem to want to say that everything is immoral, and they're totally inconsistent pahalyaahaaaaa (that's not a real word).

 

Freddy VS Jason scores ZERO, meaning that the film is totally immoral. Haha.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

Thanks for the laugh, Richard!

 

But i agree with the CAP on this part:

 

*The Blair Witch Project* was an empty movie. There was nothing there except attempts at fright. It was bare of any need for intelligence. Void of any special effects, this film relied on our supposed innate fear of the unseen to project its impact.

I thought Blair witch was crap, too.

Though i wasn't exactly offended by it. Hm. I'm not divine enough, probably.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy got marked down because it is “tale of man not being the most intelligent life on Earth”… are we? Now I’m worried.

 

Omigod, imagine what would happen if a movie postulated that the Sun actually doesn't revolve around the Earth!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...