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 Post subject: non-vegan friends
PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 4:12 pm 
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Gorilla

Joined: Tue Aug 16, 2005 5:54 pm
Posts: 778
Location: Corvallis, OR
I was just wondering what everyone's social groups looked like? Aside from Robert, all of my friends are not only not vegan, not veg, they're practically anti-veggy.
Generally, I deal with this by just avoid all animal/food topics, and tuning out when they go off about the 'yumminess' of meat (which they seem to do just to try to get a rise out of me) I think part of the problem is that when I do that, just tune them out, they don't realize they're actually upsetting me, and think we're all just joking around.
Is there a better way to deal with this? I'm specifically thinking of 3 of my friends, and they really are the nearest dearest people to my heard...aside from this issue. I'm currently talking to one online right now and I'm getting so upset because he brought up that he's having a chicken for lunch and won't stop talking about it/eating meat/etc. How do other people deal with this? These aren't people that are going to convert, at least not at my encouraging. I know I have to accept them as they are, but I just get so mad.....


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 4:19 pm 
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Elephant
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Joined: Wed May 04, 2005 3:33 pm
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Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
I would say to tell them how they are making you feel. If they are really your friends, they should be ashamed of themselves and not do it any more. If they still don't get it, maybe they aren't your friends. :?

Don't be surprised either if one of them eventually goes veg. Sometimes it's the ones who make the most noise that are really thinking about it. They are confused because they don't want to go veg, but part of them knows you are right. There is actually hope for just about anybody, though it doesn't always seem like it.

My non-veg friends usually either eat veg when I'm around or at least get things that don't look like a dead animal. Mostly though I hang out with vegans and vegetarians.


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 Post subject: Re: non-vegan friends
PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 7:23 pm 
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Gorilla
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Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2005 5:55 pm
Posts: 691
Location: Texas Bordertown
veggymeggy wrote:

Generally, I deal with this by just avoid all animal/food topics, and tuning out when they go off about the 'yumminess' of meat (which they seem to do just to try to get a rise out of me).....


i always found that amusing, when meat eatering friends tell you all about their last meal. for example "hey guess what... i just had a steak." why do you feel the need to tell me what you just ate? you don't see me walking around telling people "hey, i just had some vegan hot dogs." i'm not your mother, you don't need to report your meals to me. they are trying to get a rise out of you, so don't give them the satisfaction. let it roll off your back. when they tell you they are eating a steak, just look unaffected and say "and.... ? what's that got to do with out current conversation?" or "thanks for sharing tha piece of info... but back on topic..."

none of my close friends are vegan. the few vegans i do know, i don't get to hang out with very often due to work schedules or relationships. so i am in a similiar boat as you.

i would listen to michael's advice, and tell them how it makes you feel. and i agree with him that the ones who make the most fun are the ones who know that what you are doing is right. they are generally just feeling guilty that they can not make the same commitment you have, even though they know in their hearts that they should. they can't come up with a good defense, so they just ridicule you instead. every single one of my friends, even (or maybe especially) the most die hard meat eaters, has come to me in private and told me they wish they could do what i am doing. they just feel like they lack the willpower.

of course when they are in public, they go back to cracking vegan jokes. :roll:

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 Post subject: Re: non-vegan friends
PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2005 4:09 pm 
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Elephant
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Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 3:38 pm
Posts: 1484
Location: USA
veggymeggy wrote:
Generally, I deal with this by just avoid all animal/food topics, and tuning out when they go off about the 'yumminess' of meat (which they seem to do just to try to get a rise out of me) I think part of the problem is that when I do that, just tune them out, they don't realize they're actually upsetting me, and think we're all just joking around.
Is there a better way to deal with this? I'm specifically thinking of 3 of my friends, and they really are the nearest dearest people to my heard...aside from this issue. I'm currently talking to one online right now and I'm getting so upset because he brought up that he's having a chicken for lunch and won't stop talking about it/eating meat/etc. How do other people deal with this? These aren't people that are going to convert, at least not at my encouraging. I know I have to accept them as they are, but I just get so mad.....

Don't forget your friends have to accept you as you are as well, so they shouldn't try to upset you.

I too "know" a limited amount of vegans. In fact, the only vegan people I know are online. The people around me aren't even vegetarians. My mom used to ask me how my vegetables were (in a condescending way), so I started asking her how her dead animal was. She really didn't like that and doesn't really comment anymore. :twisted:

One of my omni friends argues with me all the time about vegan vs. omni and animal rights and she is the one that brings it up. :x

Like it's been said, let your friends know how you feel whenever they do this. Your real friends will take the hint and to the one's that don't and still comment on the "yumminess of meat" (what an oxymoron) tell them "Yuck.....you think a dead carcass tastes good ?" You may also want to mention the little fact that the only way humans can digest meat is for the meat to start rotting in their intestines -- then it gets digested. (YUK !)

You are not alone in this veggymeggy and it's ok to get mad at thoughtless friends.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2005 4:29 pm 
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Gorilla

Joined: Tue Aug 16, 2005 5:54 pm
Posts: 778
Location: Corvallis, OR
Thanks guys :) It's good to know I'm not the only one.
I never considered the angle of the most vocal being the ones secretly considering it...it's hard to imagine in my friends, but maybe? I can hope that's true; maybe in time they'll come around.
In the meantime, at least I have Robert :)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2005 9:53 am 
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Rabbit
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Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 2:37 pm
Posts: 182
I actually just read a really good book on that subject called "Living Among Meat Eaters" it has chapters on friends, extended family, etc.. but mostly people you deal with in passing. You might want to check that out.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2005 10:54 am 
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Manatee
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Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm
Posts: 309
It is not nice when people are mean. So whenever someone tries to piss me off and says they are going to eat animals, I just say go ahead eat meat and risk cancer.This is verry effective becouse almost everyone has a friend relative who has/had cancer.
I am not wishing cancer upon them, I am just making them aware of the risk. Sometimes they reply that I shouldn't make fun of cancer, then I reply that they are the ones not taking it seriously by eating meat.

But it still sucks that people act so stupid.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2005 11:03 am 
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Site Admin
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Location: England
Try to think of them as assholes that you have to hang out with because you don't know any cool people. That's how I think of my friends. If you try to have respect for them, even though they're being childish and mean to you, then you'll just get more frustrated. It's better to see them for what they really are, and then you can be less affected by their crap. Like if a five year old came up to you and said 'Nyah nyah, you big smelly smelly, you smelly of pooey', would you be upset, or would you be like 'stupid fucking kid'. It's the same kind of situation. There's no need to really respond to them, they're just assholes.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 11:28 pm 
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Gorilla
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Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm
Posts: 731
Im currently inbetween friends, and hoping to make all new ones. I prefer to hangout with drug-free/straight edge vegans, but they are so far and few between.


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