hi everyone, I've been vegan for about two years now. Three years ago I was very overweight, then got my act together with exercise and better eating (though still omni). I ended up befriending a vegan personal trainer and turned vegan and never looked back. We trained together about five days a week (my trainer had a body building background) and I lost more weight and made some nice gains.
After about a year of training together (spotting eachother, etc-- we're also good friends who hung out together), our life circumstances changed so we were hitting the gym less. I also got sick and when I'd go to the gym to train on my own, I would end up leaving very depressed because I hadn't trained as hard as I would when I had my friend to spot me. I have anxiety and depression, so these things really got me down and although I was aware I had to learn to train on my own, because lots of BBs do, I also have the problem of being a perfectionist and the "go hard or go home" mentality was pretty much telling me "you're not going hard without your spotter, so go home". And then my visits got less and less, or I would plan to go and then get a last minute phone call about work, or change of plans. Add to all this being in a bit of a deep depression (not going to the gym made me feel worse, but I'd feel awful after solo workouts). And then I gave it up after my gym membership sat there doing nothing for three months. Although I had not reached a goal weight, I was happy with my achievements gains wise. I started off not being able to do a single proper toe push up, eventually I could push out two sets with increasing difficulty. Now I can only do two proper toe pushups before dropping to knees. I've still got a little bit of the biceps left, thank goodness
Since stopping the intense training about a year ago, and my mental health taking a big fat dive now that I've put on a little weight (5kg) since stopping the gym, I really want to get back in to it. My friend the trainer has moved away so I'll be totally solo (can't afford a trainer and don't want one, I know enough on my own and hate dealing with PTs who see a fat person and assume I know nothing about BB/heavy weight training especially for women). I'm working on the mental health stuff separately. Another big problem is that before I started lifting weights, I had chronic lower back pain and fine cracks in both balls of my feet. I was advised to lose weight, which I did, and the pain in my feet disappeared when I lost the first 10% of my body weight, then the second lot of 10%. Now with my 5kg weight gain, the pain in my feet and lower back has returned and I've been told not to do any weight bearing exercise and that I should again lose weight. I weigh 75kg (165lbs) and want to get back in to that weight bearing exercise, not avoid it!
So that's me. Is anyone else here living with anxiety/depression, where it does affect your ability to hit the gym? I felt great when I was going to the gym regularly (apart from the days where I had to train on my own). I'm confident I will start feeling great again when I walk in to the weights room and hear the clink clink and smell my stinky gloves
Right now I'm investigating my membership options, hopefully I will have good progress to report in time. Thanks for reading.