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OK! Here's my new blog to ward off stalkers. I'm so paranoid. That's probably not even the reason I lost the job. It's probably just cuz I didn't fit the mold of what kind of people they wanted. I'm unique. Unusual. Weird.

 

And that is why I'm paranoid of internet stalkers and writing a new blog. This one is gonna beat the socks off the old blog. This one with have pictures, and and and and stuff! I wanna get in such good shape all you guys will be like "Wow you're in good shape!"

 

So here's day one!!

 

So far I've accomplished nothing, but I did make a really wicked smoothie. It was awesome. The King of all smoothies. Delicious.

Now I'm making coffee and I'm gonna drink it and it will be the king of all coffees.

THEN!!!! I will have a shower. The most awesome shower EVAR and then I dunno what I'll do after that. Probably clean my house.

 

I can take pics of my vacuum if you want. It's really cool.

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It's my usual Banana almond smoothie.

 

Here's how you make one:

 

Before you go to bed, put a banana in the freezer. The bigger the better. It doesn't matter how ripe it is either. Mine was a very fresh perfect yellow banana and it seemed to work the best.

Also, put a handful of almonds in a bowl of water to soak overnight.

 

In the morning, take the banana out of the freezer and cut it up into pieces. Take the peels off and put the banana slices into the blender. Next, put the soaked almonds into the blender. You can add the water too if you want, but I didn't today. Then, put 1/2 a scoop of chocolate Vega in and pour almond milk in. Blend it together and enjoy!

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So instead of cleaning my house I decided to take advantage of the beautiful day outside and hang out on the porch with my cats.

My house can be cleaned at night, but I could really use some sunlight. I feel more upbeat and happy now. It rained for about 2 weeks straight here! It was cold and dark and depressing. I'm glad summer finally arrived and I hope it stays!

 

For lunch I had some leftover salad my mommy made me at last night's barbecue. She was so awesome. She cooked everything in Earth Balance instead of butter and made 2 different kinds of salads. She also made baked potatoes and BBQed some tofu for me. I was so full last night! It was mostly the potato. They were massive.

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After I had my salad for lunch I had half of one of the massive potatoes and a glass of soymilk. My loving man made some yummy lentil soup for supper and we had it with some corn tortillas and hummus.

 

Then later I had a banana and some grapes and did my workout at home: I used my 15 pounds dumbells and my bosu ball cuz that's all I've got.

 

1 set arnold presses - 12 reps

 

3 sets military presses - 10-12 reps

 

2 set pec bench flies - 10-12 reps

 

2 sets flat bench chest press - 10-12 reps

 

4 sets overhead tricep extension - 10-12 reps

 

3 sets calf raises on the stairs

 

1 set lunges with stability ball (trying to teach myself how to lunge properly. I have a hard time balancing on my right leg.. As weird as that sounds) 15 reps

 

1 set squats with stability ball without weights - 15 reps

 

1 set squats w/30 lbs and stability ball - 12 reps

 

Had a nut and seed cracker and a vega shake with a banana and soymilk.

 

Tomorrow I'm gonna see Britt Black's new band "Stay Beautiful" at the Roxy in Vancouver. Doug Fury will be there, Gillian Hanna will be there, Nikki Hurst will be there, and lots of other people.

Should be fun.

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I forgot to take my supplements yesterday which was basically my probiotic and my vitamin. I feel weird today without them. I took my probiotic with my morning smoothie.

 

Right now I'm chargin the ipod up so that I can clean my house. I was gonna write a resume on the computer with TextEdit but it's poo and you can't change the fonts and the sizes and all that fancy stuff. I guess it would be okay for e-mailing resumes, but I know that a lot of employers look at how well a resume stands out. If you have a nice one, they'll notice. If it's boring and plain they'll think I'm boring and plain!

I'm just gonna have to go to my mom's and do the resume thing. This computer doesn't have a lot on it at all. Just the very basics. Like a caveman computer.. If in fact cavemen used computers that is.

 

Anyways.

 

I need to get a job soon so that I can get a gym membership. I wanna apply at the grocery store next to my house. I mean, it's right there! Don't have to worry about buses or anything. Course, it would be a pretty boring job.. Just ringing through groceries and junk.. I'd probably go insane. I need my mind to be stimulated ya know?

Maybe I should just concentrate on getting my driver's license. Then I can go anywhere! I can take the scooter! It will be fun.

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I cleaned my house! Did all the bathrooms, the kitchen, tidied up the living room.. Took a couple hours but I got it done. Afterwards, I went to the store and bought some juice, soy milk and some fresh strawberries. Put half of them in the freezer for smoothies and the rest in the fridge. I'm kinda tired now. A lotta scrubbing! Last night I took some pics of my abs for the abs contest. I figured that since I'm out of a job and not going to the gym as much that I'm gonna put on some weight. The abs contest is after the back one so it should still be good to use, right?

Anyways, I noticed since I dropped some body fat that my arms look smaller. My shoulders still look alright though I guess. I need heavier weights. The 15 pound dumbells I have aren't good enough anymore. I wanna get some muscle but really could use a gym membership.. Bah. I hate money. I need it all the time but never have any.

 

For lunch I had a salad, half a baked potato, and then went to the store.

 

For my evening meal I had lentil soup and soy milk.

 

We're gonna get some food in Vancouver later this evening. I should go get ready for that now.

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So I went to the concert tonight. None of the people that I thought were gonna be there showed up. They probably had to work or something like that. It is Tuesday after all. So, we didn't really know anybody at the show but that's alright.

 

The show was pretty good. It was Britt Black's new band, "Stay Beautiful". Britt is the daughter of Bif's manager and used to play guitar for Bif and Liveonrelease. It was their first gig too so I'm glad I got to be one of the first to see them play live. Usually when Silvio and I see a band we meet up with the band members afterwards and say "hi" and "great job" and whatnot, but we didn't this time around. I'm a shy person, for one thing haha. The "Stay Beautiful" people were pretty busy too chatting with all their friends and family that came out to support them. We met some members from the other band, called "The Left" though. They were giving away CDs so that gave us a chance to say "hi" and stuff. They were good too.

I also got to meet Bif's manager, Peter Karroll. He's a really cool guy. I'd seen him before at Bif's shows and he was always on his cell phone making preparations for the big show, but this time he wasn't on business and we got to talk. He seemed to know who I was, which was kinda weird. I've only been to 5 of Bif's shows. Maybe I just got a face that's easy to remember? Hehe. Either that or he was being polite. We talked about fitness since he has a black belt and used to teach martial arts and stuff. He talked about how he trained Bif back when she was just starting out. I bet he's got tons of cool stories that I'd love to hear more of but he's a busy guy. Really nice, glad I met him. It's always an honour to meet someone who manages your favorite musicians!

Edited by Marcina
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Hmm I'm kinda sad I can't edit these posts because the person I took the pics of didn't really like them. I was wondering if I should remove them from here as well?

Oh well.

 

Ok, so yesterday my sister started the beginning stages of labour.. Supposedly.. I've been waiting and waiting for the phone to ring.. Barely slept last night. I seriously think it's gas or something. This girl has zero pain threshold I'm telling you.

 

It's 2:23 pm and I've accomplished NOTHING!!!!! AHhh I hate days like this. I am gonna bug my boyfriend to hit the gym tonight. I really need to slam my body with a hardcore workout. My tummy feels weird today. We went to a falafel place in Vancouver and my boyfriend ordered for me. Usually he tells people to hold on the dairy products and everything like that but didn't yesterday and the salad I got had dressing on it. I didn't eat it, of course. I had the falafel. He said it would be fine but I feel kinda raunchy today so I dunno. I hate eating at restaurants where they use sauce. I typically don't order anything with sauce or dressing on it because you never know what's hiding in it!

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ALRIGHT!! I just got back from the gym and I feel awesome. I did biceps, back and abs. Lots of curls, hammer curls, barbell curls, concentration curls, curls on an incline.. Lat pulldowns, back extensions, rows, and lots of ball rollouts. I should feel that tomorrow!

 

The funniest thing happened. I went to the bathroom and you know how that cheap public washroom toilet paper just trails along and has no absorbency? Well I grabbed a little too much and ended up walking around with like.. 4 feet of toilet paper stuck to me! It was hilarious, but embarrassing too of course.. Ya know, cuz it was stuck to my ass. Now, it wasn't IN my ass, it was stuck to the back of my pants so don't go thinking I walk around pretending I have a paper tail.

 

My boyfriend came to the rescue by pulling it out and then proceeded to make fun of me on the way home.

 

For breakfast today I had my banana almond super smoothie with Vega

Lunch was some fruit and a couple cashew crackers

Dinner was an avacado roll and some edamame beans and rice

After workout meal was Vega shake with strawberries and soy milk.

 

Omg I need to eat more. BUUUUT I need to move around more too to burn off the calories I eat. Seriously I eat like a freakin bird. 4 meals so far.. I barely eat anything. I need to fix that before I get some kind of deficiency.

Still taking my vitamins and stuff. I need to eat more veggies. I think my bag of organic carrots all got eaten

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I had vegan pancakes for breakfast. yum yum yum. I put strawberries on them and they were terrific!

I got some really chapped lips. Actually, it's mostly the top lip. It's weird, it's been bugging me for about a week now. Lip balm isn't helping.. Hmm.

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Blahh I'm so tired today. It's been hard to sleep the past few nights. I don't think I'm eating enough calories either. I can't eat much when I'm not doing stuff. If I'm spending calories, I'll eat them. If I'm sitting around most of the day, I don't eat so much. Just not hungry.. I gained about 3 of the pounds I lost back. That bums me out. I went shopping today for clothes and saw my HUGE-O ass in the mirror and died a little inside. I have been depressed since. I had stretch marks on my bum when I was a teenager and now they've left these thin white lines.. It kinda makes my butt look wrinkled and stuff.. Still got cellulite too. Seriously, will that ever go away? I'm gonna try and do some uphill running everyday to try and rid myself of that. I'm 22 years old and thin everywhere but I have cellulite on my butt. God has a mean sense of humour. Gives me abs but a flabby old woman's ass. Come on.

 

I made those vegan pancakes for breakfast and then went shopping.. Came home and had a nap cuz I woke up in the middle of the night and stayed awake for over an hour -.-

I've had a few snacks. Carrot sticks and homemade hummus, a banana, some almonds, a cashew cracker, and a glass of soymilk.

My boyfriend said he'd run with me but it's starting to get late and he's too busy dickin around at the store and making some eggplant dish. By time he's finished it'll be too dark.

I might just go by myself while he makes supper.

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So I ended up going for my run. I just laced up and when Silvio walked in the door I said "let's go!"

So we went.

We did uphill, downhill, ran through the parks.. It was hard for me cuz I haven't really gone running since high school. I'm in absolutely pathetic shape. I was dog tired after and ate dinner and went to sleep. Now of course, I'm awake. I woke up thirsty! Haha. I had 2 naps yesterday.. I don't understand why I'm tired and have very little appetite. It's not like I'm overtraining.

 

Dinner was pretty good, had some eggplant dish with sauce. It was a tomato sauce with mushrooms, eggplant, ground veggie round, onions, and it was put into an empty eggplant shell and roasted. Very yummy. It's good for me to have a high protein meal. I've been worrying that I'm not getting enough food. I eat 3-4 times a day and very small amounts.. It's all I can eat. I'm tired all the time too which also makes no sense.

I gained about 2 or 3 pounds this week as well but I'm still trying to keep my workouts regular. I wonder if since my routine has been interrupted if that has anything to do with it? Though I didn't eat much when I worked either I guess.

I dunno. It's weird. I don't want to gain weight but I don't want to get sick from deficiency either..

I want to lose more body fat, but I don't want to compromise my health.

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I feel like absolute crap today. I'm moody. I'm tired. I'm depressed and I'm sore and don't want to eat.

I think I've fallen victim to overtraining again. I don't even think I work out that much, but I guess since I've been eating barely anything lately, that has something to do with it.

 

After I lost my job I got depressed. Really really depressed. I barely ate.. I slept too much.. But I still forced myself to workout for fear that being so sedentary would cause me to gain weight. I weighed myself last week and had gained about 3 pounds. I was maaad. So I stepped up the workouts a bit and restricted the calories even more. I was eating 3 times a day, but working out for an hour or more.

 

On Wednesday I begged my boyfriend to take me to the gym. I didn't keep track of the time or my workouts, I just kept going. My rests in between workouts were short.

Warmup: 10 minutes on the stairmaster

I did hammer curls, concentration curls, barbell curls, probably about 2-3 sets of each. I used the heaviest weights I could possibly lift for 10 reps.

For the back:

3 sets of lat pulldowns, 2 sets bent over rows, 1 set seated rows, 2 sets of back extensions. Again, as heavy as I could lift for 10 reps.

Abs:

3 sets of ball rollouts, bicycle crunches, ball crunches, hanging leg raise.

 

i had my Vega shake afterwards.

 

Then yesterday, as sore as I was, I went for a run. I mentioned before it's because I went clothes shopping and couldn't stand looking at myself in the mirror. I ran for about an hour.. Stopping frequently since I'm in absolutely pathetic shape.. Did lots of power walking up hills and stuff.

I only ate a couple meals.

I felt guilty after eating the pancakes and fruit.. I had 2 pancakes, and strawberries on top with some syrup drizzled on it.

I didn't have any protein shakes or supplements yesterday. I ate some cherries and drank water and a small cup of juice after my run. Then dinner was about an hour or 2 later.

 

I dunno it's so annoying that I'm gaining weight even though I'm working out so much. usually if you overtrain you lose weight, right?

I just want to be able to look in the mirror and not hate what I see. I want my bum to not be fat anymore. I want to see my abs again.

Where is all this fat coming from??

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"Where is all this fat coming from?" I asked earlier.

 

The answer: My head.

I'm imagining all this fat on my body that really isn't there. I weighed myself again today and I'm 111. Last week I was 115. Either my scale is messed up or I didn't lose or gain anything. I need to not listen to the scale or the negative voices in my head telling me I need to have 0% bodyfat.

 

Anyway.

 

Here's what I've eaten so far today: I feel so full..

 

Breakfast: Protein smoothie! Almonds, frozen banana, soymilk, and Vega. Probably about 20g in this.

 

Snack: 3 strawberries and a cashew puck.

 

Lunch (well sorta lunch.. I had a nap and ate lunch late): Lentil soup.

 

I'm drinking a ton of water today. I think I'm dehydrated, which would explain why I feel so yucky. I've filled up this huge glass like 3 times and I've also had juice too.

 

I am so wiped. I think I will take Saturday off from exercising too.

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I feel like absolute crap today. I'm moody. I'm tired. I'm depressed and I'm sore and don't want to eat.

I think I've fallen victim to overtraining again. I don't even think I work out that much, but I guess since I've been eating barely anything lately, that has something to do with it.

 

A person's water weight can shift by as much as 5 lbs a day up or down. Even more so for women. That is why scales seem to give erratic readings. This short article explains it:

 

Why The Scale Lies

http://primusweb.com/fitnesspartner/library/weight/scale.htm

 

You can go to a free site like physicsdiet.com. If you type in your weigh everyday it will compute an average that will filter out the "noise" from shifting water weight and plot it on a graph so you have a reliable idea of what is going with your weight.

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Hey girl!

 

I totally ran out of shirts, but I ordered a ton of them today! And mishe ordered more women's stuff! Since I'm sooooooo late on your contest shirts, I'm going to send you a few tank tops, different colors, different styles, etc. Sorry for the delay! Tried to pm you days ago but it wouldn't work, meant to write you on fb or myspace, but forgot but ordered tank tops today and they'll be ready soon and you'll get many of them

 

Thanks for your patience my dear!

 

RC

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Hey girl!

 

I totally ran out of shirts, but I ordered a ton of them today! And mishe ordered more women's stuff! Since I'm sooooooo late on your contest shirts, I'm going to send you a few tank tops, different colors, different styles, etc. Sorry for the delay! Tried to pm you days ago but it wouldn't work, meant to write you on fb or myspace, but forgot but ordered tank tops today and they'll be ready soon and you'll get many of them

 

Thanks for your patience my dear!

 

RC

 

Dude that rules!! I can't wait!! Yippee!!

Don't worry about the delay. It's not like I'm in a desperate need of clothes or anything

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Okay so I'm gonna fill in the rest of the stuff I ate yesterday. I felt full and crummy after eating so much but then eventually my body started getting used to it and wanted more food.

I ate carrots and hummus, a hemp protein shake, a banana, some pineapple, all sorts of stuff. I also drank a tonnage of water. I think I was a bit dehydrated. I mostly snacked on fruits and stuff like that.

Avoided gluten and soy like the plague because I was sooo stuffed up. I had sneezing fits. This morning I was very restless and had a sore throat and whatnot. I am pretty sure I've got a cold or something. It's gym night tonight but I'm gonna skip it and go to the movies and see Kung Fu Panda.

Because I had such a hard time sleeping I didn't actually get up and do anything until the afternoon. I'm sick so it's alright I suppose lol.

 

Had my protein shake in the morning. Should probably eat again soon.

 

Gonna go to the movies now.

 

Ciao!

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Blaahh I don't feel good. At the movie theatre I had a little bit of popcorn (no butter, of course) But they still load it up with salt and oil so I only had a little. I was very thirsty after and had some water at the fountain. After that, we drove around looking for a place to eat but everything was closed so we went shopping and I made a salad when I got home. We didn't get home til around 10-ish. You'd think I'd be starving or something but since I have a cold I don't have much of an appetite.

I was kinda bummed before we left cuz Silvio seemed upset with me but wouldn't tell me why. I worried myself the whole time we were out.

After my salad I went to bed. I woke up a couple hours later feeling awful because my body needed food but I restricted my food intake again today. I really should have stayed home and recuperated instead of going to the movies. I had a bowl of cereal and some juice and got a tummy-ache. That's what happens when you don't feed yourself right!!

Silvio says that I always seem to be sick. It's weird because I honestly don't think I am. He didn't elaborate on it much, but he said I should go get allergy tests. I hate when people do that ya know? They get all irritated and pissed off at you but don't tell you why. I think he's mad cuz I'm supposedly "sick" all the time but I don't know what he means by that. Maybe I just complain more than I should? I should pay attention to that kind of thing I guess.

Honestly, this cold is the first health problem I've had in a long time. I had a cold in the wintertime and it lasted about 2 days or so. Before that.. It was spring of 2007 that I was last sick. I remember, I had the stomach flu and barfed miniwheats at work after cleaning a poopy kennel. Ugh.

 

So, I guess I need to be more in tune with my body. If Silvio says I seem sick all the time, I should try and figure out why he thinks that.

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Let me explain.

Silvio is a man. Men have no urge to talk and elaborate on every little detail in life. Most likely he didn't have a problem with you until you started pushing him on what the problem was. Let it go, it has nothing to do with your ass, your face or your friends new boyfriend.

It might be something that happened at work, it might be a pimple in the wrong place, his mom might have called, he might be worried about Italy loosing to Spain in the Euro cup or he might be trying to figure out why water whirls in one direction on the northern hemisphere and in the other direction on the southern dito. You weren't part of the problem until you started asking about shit.

Relax...

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Okay, that was mean and uncalled for. You're assuming that I'm some idiotic chick who bugs her boyfriend into telling her every little detail that's on his mind until he gets pissed off. He was pissed off to begin with. I didn't drive him to that point.

 

I never said, nor did I ever "push" him into telling me what his problem was. I asked him two questions. 1. What was bothering him and 2. If I did something wrong, and what I can do to fix it.

 

He chose not to tell me. He simply said that it wasn't something I could fix, but he did make it clear that it was a problem with me that he had. He told me to get my shoes on so we could go out and forget about it.

 

Obviously, I had a hard time "Forgetting" about it. I kept thinking what I could have done wrong and what I can do to make him not be mad anymore. I'm a worrier, I tend to do that. I can't stand to have people angry with me because then I get upset with myself for making a mistake that could have been avoided. I never brought up the subject the entire time we were out, I kept it to myself. If he wanted to tell me, he would.

 

Later that night, he did decide to tell me what was wrong. It was because he thinks I'm sick all the time and should go see a doctor.

 

Please explain to me where in that situation, did I ever push him into telling me what was bothering him? Explain to me where I complained that I was fat and ugly or whatever the hell you think I said? I let him take the time to tell me when he felt like it. No pushing involved.

 

When you assumed that everything was my fault, without knowing fully what the situation was, not only did you make yourself look foolish.. But you made me feel like an ass. I was very offended by what you posted there and I also feel stupid for talking about myself AT ALL on this forum. It seems everytime I do I get attacked, or insulted, or blamed for something.

This is my blog, and I thought it could be the ONE place where I could vent out my daily frustrations in an effort to feel better, but it just makes me feel worse when I log on to see that someone has attacked me and starts blaming me for shit I didn't even do.

 

I did you a favor by explaining the full situation to you, even though it really isn't your business. I just want to show you that before you start calling people paranoid and pushy, to stop and think.. Maybe that isn't what the situation is after all.

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