I remember back in second grade I heard this song. It helped to lift my spirit back then. I have come so far in my since then life and still live by the the words of this song. Especially the lyrics:
"Don't re-arrange, no need to change Stay like you are, keep it all the same But as you move along in your life Keep an open mind, and don't forget That if you gotta do somethin', gotta do somethin' Believe in yourself, yourself, yourself Hey!"
It helps me to realize my truth and the things I fight for day by day. I know that with great pride there must also come great shame. In more understanding terms no one likes an arrogant asshole.
I have also learned that in order to influence change in the world, own my soul must be unchangeable. Despite how badly my conscious has been raped over the years, I must be weather all the lies and illusions without becoming lost. And my heart must tough the poison of hatred without being harmed. I can never bow to the will of others and free not just my mind, but my heart and my soul from all false pride and continue on to seek my truths, and to always be true to myself against all the odds and against all the pain.
I will hold on to "what if" and carry on because the gods continue to test me to see if I will give up. I do not fear the gods though and never am I their slave. I am descended from them as is the person who lives down the street or the woman who sleeps on the bench with her shopping cart full of recycled cans. I share the earth and all known existence with those who dwell in it. I'm doing this for not just myself, but for all that I hold sacred to. My greater family be it by blood or not. And for the animals, the trees and everything. The fact that I am here is a miracle and the fact that I have to freedom to feel emotions and face my destiny with great courage and great honor is the a gift. The past is indeed history and the future holds many mysteries. In the words of master Ugwei form the movie "Kung Fu Panda," "that is why they call it the present."
I know that there is still so much I don't already know of the martial law, but at the same time I must realize that the best answers will only come in time. My sensei and other instructor from Ten Chi Kenpo have taught me well. I still to this day live on by their words. I was always taught me to remember seek knowledge and do what's best for me. Now I am learning Hung Gar and though my sifu has much to teach, and from him I know more than I have ever known. I must humble myself to know this:
"Physical strength is no substitute for perception. For perception is the key which unlocks the intangible powers of the spirit." -Ryuken, from "Fist of the North Star"
_________________ Like the Transformers there's more to me than meets the eye.
Last edited by Ryofire on Mon Dec 07, 2009 12:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I used some yoga poses as I usually do in stretching. I can almost get a full split, but things come up which cause me to become so frustrated that I skip a day. It's very hard to explain it all, but basically sometimes I need to take it easy. Any help and advice that I get sometimes isn't enough. what I need is support because there are things that I can't do alone sometimes and because of that it gets so hard from time to time.
_________________ Like the Transformers there's more to me than meets the eye.
Today turned out a lot better than I thought. Although I unfortunatly was not able to get any exercise in I did have a great time at the holdiay party at my aunt's house. Best of all I brought my friend Serena.
She is an amazing woman, the reason being is not because she is beautiful on the outside, but she is beautiful on the inside as well. I let her no about how I felt about her and she let me know how she felt about me. She said she really cared about me and we shared an intimate moment with each other (which did not involve sex).
However on my way home from dropping her off for some reason I felt depressed. For privacy reasons I don't care to disclose too much, but plain and simple and need help psychological and emotionally as well as sexually. And quite frankly that is something I seriously need to work out with my social worker. Until then I have to hang in there and never give up no matter the odds, no matter the consequences and no matter how dark and gloomy things may seem to be.
Though there are things I desperatly need to change, I must never change who I am.
_________________ Like the Transformers there's more to me than meets the eye.
Though I am working on the things I desperatly need to change, I am always remembering who I am. I am remembering what I am fighting for, I am recalling my inner truths and my virtues. I stand for justice, life, wisdom, trust, loyalty, piety, serenity, but most importantly I stand for soul. For it is the soul which carries on for all of eternity.
My flesh and my blood will slowly fade away once I die, but my soul and my spirit shall live on for all of eternity.
Once again I have been thinking of my dog Lucky. He truly was a dog of honor. He may have been "just a dog", in many people's eyes, but that dog had a soul. In fact he had more of a soul than most people I know. I don't care how cliche that is, but it's the truth. And though his body is no longer with us here on earth, the memories I hold inside of him keep him alive.
Just like the song "He Lives In You," from the Lion King 2 says,
"He lives in you He lives in me He watches over Everything we see Into the water Into the truth In your reflection He lives in you."
When he died I swore to him and to the gods that I would take his spirit with me once he died. Same thing with my cat Patches.
I will always Lucky and Patches. I will never forget you no matter how dark things may seem to be. And although change is good I will never change who I am.
_________________ Like the Transformers there's more to me than meets the eye.
I haven't been training like I usually have been. Things are just so intensely frustrating right now. I at least got some stretching and soft chi exercises in today.
Other than that my life has been a living hell. I'm not giving up though, but still I can't help but be angry and sad
_________________ Like the Transformers there's more to me than meets the eye.
I did a morning run today and then later some stretching.
I had to focus a lot on school work these past 2 weeks. My last final is luckily this wensday. I can't wait till that's over. I'll have a lot more free time. Although I'll still have to work no doubt, at least I'll have more time to rest, train, etc.
As far as my emotional situation....needs work. And yes, emotional abuse, is just as serious as any kind of abuse. Be it phsyical, sexual, verbal, etc. As I have mentioned here plenty of times before, to all those on this site who have told me to, "grow a pair," "just get over it," "just move on with your life," etc, you should be ashamed of yourself. If you're not going to show me respect, and not take responsiblilty for your actions and the things you say, then I'll give you no respect. I know you don't care, but that's something that I would expect from heartless and soulless scum like you.
So as a result I am in the process of working it all out. It won't be easy, but hey Rome wasn't bilt in a day.
_________________ Like the Transformers there's more to me than meets the eye.
Well here we are in 2010. I was fighting a sickness do to high levels of anxiety. I was getting a headache and coming down with kind of a cold as a result.
Either way I have some New Year's Resolutions:
-To grow/mature and make the changes I need, but never change who I am.
-To never give up no matter how dark things may seem to be.
-To staty true to myself and stick to all my goals as I've done before.
and finally...
-To better save and better handle my money.
_________________ Like the Transformers there's more to me than meets the eye.
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