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 Post subject: 12/4/09...........The things I need to work on.
PostPosted: Fri Dec 04, 2009 9:19 pm 
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Gorilla
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I remember back in second grade I heard this song. It helped to lift my spirit back then. I have come so far in my since then life and still live by the the words of this song. Especially the lyrics:

"Don't re-arrange, no need to change
Stay like you are, keep it all the same
But as you move along in your life
Keep an open mind, and don't forget
That if you gotta do somethin', gotta do somethin'
Believe in yourself, yourself, yourself
Hey!"

It helps me to realize my truth and the things I fight for day by day. I know that with great pride there must also come great shame. In more understanding terms no one likes an arrogant asshole.

I have also learned that in order to influence change in the world, own my soul must be unchangeable. Despite how badly my conscious has been raped over the years, I must be weather all the lies and illusions without becoming lost. And my heart must tough the poison of hatred without being harmed. I can never bow to the will of others and free not just my mind, but my heart and my soul from all false pride and continue on to seek my truths, and to always be true to myself against all the odds and against all the pain.

I will hold on to "what if" and carry on because the gods continue to test me to see if I will give up. I do not fear the gods though and never am I their slave. I am descended from them as is the person who lives down the street or the woman who sleeps on the bench with her shopping cart full of recycled cans. I share the earth and all known existence with those who dwell in it. I'm doing this for not just myself, but for all that I hold sacred to. My greater family be it by blood or not. And for the animals, the trees and everything. The fact that I am here is a miracle and the fact that I have to freedom to feel emotions and face my destiny with great courage and great honor is the a gift. The past is indeed history and the future holds many mysteries. In the words of master Ugwei form the movie "Kung Fu Panda," "that is why they call it the present."


I know that there is still so much I don't already know of the martial law, but at the same time I must realize that the best answers will only come in time. My sensei and other instructor from Ten Chi Kenpo have taught me well. I still to this day live on by their words. I was always taught me to remember seek knowledge and do what's best for me. Now I am learning Hung Gar and though my sifu has much to teach, and from him I know more than I have ever known. I must humble myself to know this:

"Physical strength is no substitute for perception. For perception is the key which unlocks the intangible powers of the spirit."
-Ryuken, from "Fist of the North Star"

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Like the Transformers there's more to me than meets the eye.


Last edited by Ryofire on Mon Dec 07, 2009 12:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: 12/5/09
PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 9:43 pm 
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Today I did some major stretching.

I used some yoga poses as I usually do in stretching. I can almost get a full split, but things come up which cause me to become so frustrated that I skip a day. It's very hard to explain it all, but basically sometimes I need to take it easy. Any help and advice that I get sometimes isn't enough. what I need is support because there are things that I can't do alone sometimes and because of that it gets so hard from time to time. :psycho:

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 Post subject: 12/6/09
PostPosted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 8:43 pm 
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Today turned out a lot better than I thought. Although I unfortunatly was not able to get any exercise in I did have a great time at the holdiay party at my aunt's house. Best of all I brought my friend Serena.

She is an amazing woman, the reason being is not because she is beautiful on the outside, but she is beautiful on the inside as well. I let her no about how I felt about her and she let me know how she felt about me. She said she really cared about me and we shared an intimate moment with each other (which did not involve sex).

However on my way home from dropping her off for some reason I felt depressed. For privacy reasons I don't care to disclose too much, but plain and simple and need help psychological and emotionally as well as sexually. And quite frankly that is something I seriously need to work out with my social worker. Until then I have to hang in there and never give up no matter the odds, no matter the consequences and no matter how dark and gloomy things may seem to be.

Though there are things I desperatly need to change, I must never change who I am.

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 Post subject: 12/8/09
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 10:25 am 
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Though I am working on the things I desperatly need to change, I am always remembering who I am. I am remembering what I am fighting for, I am recalling my inner truths and my virtues. I stand for justice, life, wisdom, trust, loyalty, piety, serenity, but most importantly I stand for soul. For it is the soul which carries on for all of eternity.

My flesh and my blood will slowly fade away once I die, but my soul and my spirit shall live on for all of eternity.

Once again I have been thinking of my dog Lucky. He truly was a dog of honor. He may have been "just a dog", in many people's eyes, but that dog had a soul. In fact he had more of a soul than most people I know. I don't care how cliche that is, but it's the truth. And though his body is no longer with us here on earth, the memories I hold inside of him keep him alive.

Just like the song "He Lives In You," from the Lion King 2 says,

"He lives in you
He lives in me
He watches over
Everything we see
Into the water
Into the truth
In your reflection
He lives in you."


When he died I swore to him and to the gods that I would take his spirit with me once he died. Same thing with my cat Patches.

I will always Lucky and Patches. I will never forget you no matter how dark things may seem to be. And although change is good I will never change who I am.

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 Post subject: 12/9/09
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 7:57 pm 
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I haven't been training like I usually have been. Things are just so intensely frustrating right now. I at least got some stretching and soft chi exercises in today.

Other than that my life has been a living hell. I'm not giving up though, but still I can't help but be angry and sad :x :cry:

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 Post subject: 12/13/09
PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 3:04 pm 
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I did a morning run today and then later some stretching.

I had to focus a lot on school work these past 2 weeks. My last final is luckily this wensday. I can't wait till that's over. I'll have a lot more free time. Although I'll still have to work no doubt, at least I'll have more time to rest, train, etc.

As far as my emotional situation....needs work. And yes, emotional abuse, is just as serious as any kind of abuse. Be it phsyical, sexual, verbal, etc. As I have mentioned here plenty of times before, to all those on this site who have told me to, "grow a pair," "just get over it," "just move on with your life," etc, you should be ashamed of yourself. If you're not going to show me respect, and not take responsiblilty for your actions and the things you say, then I'll give you no respect. I know you don't care, but that's something that I would expect from heartless and soulless scum like you.

So as a result I am in the process of working it all out. It won't be easy, but hey Rome wasn't bilt in a day.

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Like the Transformers there's more to me than meets the eye.


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 Post subject: 12/14/09
PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 9:59 pm 
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I didn't get a workout in today. It was busy. I had a final to deal with. I did good on it surprisingly, so that's something good that happened.

Other good news is that Manowar, one of my favorite bands, has come out with a new EP single.

I'm gonna get it, and then I can't wait until their new album "Hammer of the Gods" comes out. It'll be awesome, Manowar is such an intense band.

Check them out:



Lyrics:

From a battle I've come
To a battle I ride
Blazing up to the sky
Chains of fate
Hold a fiery stride
I'll see you again when I die

High and mighty alone we are kings
Whirlwinds of fire we ride
Providence brought us the crown and the ring
Covered with blood and our pride

Heroes await me
My enemies ride fast
Knowing not this ride's their last
Saddle my horse as I drink my last ale
Bow string and steel will prevail

High and mighty alone we are kings
Whirlwinds of fire we ride
Providence brought us the crown and the ring
Covered with blood and our pride

Odin, I await thee
Your true son am I
I hail you now as I die
I pledge you my sword and to no man I kneel
Ours is the kingdom of steel

High and mighty alone we are kings
Whirlwinds of fire we ride
Providence brought us the crown and the ring
Covered with blood and our pride

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Like the Transformers there's more to me than meets the eye.


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 Post subject: 12/30.09
PostPosted: Wed Dec 30, 2009 10:21 pm 
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Battling with anxiety today. It was through the roof today. I nearly had another panic attack.

Luckily though I managed to get some morning cardio in with some Hung Gar practice.

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Like the Transformers there's more to me than meets the eye.


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 Post subject: 12/31/09
PostPosted: Fri Jan 01, 2010 1:39 pm 
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Had a good New Year's Eve, I at least got some morning Cardio in.

Goodbye 2009.

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Like the Transformers there's more to me than meets the eye.


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 Post subject: 1/1/10
PostPosted: Sat Jan 02, 2010 12:55 am 
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Well here we are in 2010. I was fighting a sickness do to high levels of anxiety. I was getting a headache and coming down with kind of a cold as a result.

Either way I have some New Year's Resolutions:

-To grow/mature and make the changes I need, but never change who I am.

-To never give up no matter how dark things may seem to be.

-To staty true to myself and stick to all my goals as I've done before.

and finally...

-To better save and better handle my money.

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Like the Transformers there's more to me than meets the eye.


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 Post subject: 1/2/10
PostPosted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 11:16 am 
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Gorilla
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Did a day of stretching.

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Like the Transformers there's more to me than meets the eye.


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 Post subject: 1/4/10
PostPosted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:25 pm 
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Today I did some morning cardio. Since the studio's in my gym were accupied with the new years crew XD, I left after doing some stretching.

I managed to do some Parkour in the snow.

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Like the Transformers there's more to me than meets the eye.


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 Post subject: 1/5/10
PostPosted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:51 pm 
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Gorilla
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Location: Boston
Some Calisthenics as a warm up:

Handstand Pushup: BW 1x6

Assited Pullup: (at level 3) 1x9

Dip: BW 1x11

Bosu Ball Squat: BW 1x12

Hung Gar practice kick: 1x13

Russian Twist: BW 1x8

Superman: BW 1x9

Strength Training:

Bench Press: 115lbs 1x10

Seated Cable Row: 77lbs 1x12

Smith Upright Row: 30lbs 1x7

Smith Squat: 150lbs 1x10

Smith Calf Raise: 150lbs 1x12

Cable Hip Abduction: 12.5lbs 1x12

Cable Hip Adduction: 12.5lbs 1x12

Medicine Ball Russian Twist: 2kg ball 1x10

Chest Raise: 10lbs 1x12

Stretching as a cooldown.

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Like the Transformers there's more to me than meets the eye.


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 Post subject: 1/6/10
PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:25 am 
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Gorilla
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Location: Boston
Cardio in th morning, followed by Hung Gar practice in the evening.

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Like the Transformers there's more to me than meets the eye.


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 Post subject: 1/15/10
PostPosted: Sat Jan 16, 2010 5:04 pm 
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Location: Boston
Some Calisthenics as a warm up:

Handstand Pushup: BW 1x6

Pullup: BW 1x7

Bosu Ball Push Up: BW 1x11

Bosu Ball Squat: BW 1x12

Hung Gar practice kick: 1x13

Russian Twist: BW 1x8

Superman: BW 1x9

Strength Training:

Bench Press: 120lbs 1x10

Seated Cable Row: 87lbs 1x10

Smith Upright Row: 45lbs 1x8

Smith Squat: 160lbs 1x8

Smith Calf Raise: 160lbs 1x12

Cable Hip Abduction: 15lbs 1x12

Cable Hip Adduction: 15lbs 1x12

Medicine Ball Russian Twist: 2kg ball 1x10

Chest Raise: 10lbs 1x12

Stretching as a cooldown.

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Like the Transformers there's more to me than meets the eye.


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