Sunday Sep 08: Eating
Before i start i want to tell you something about me, because this "eathing thing" bring me back to another reason for wich i've started this journal.
From 12 to 23 of august I've been in Ireland for my "summer holidays" (damn that place was fuckin cold, next year will be hawai!). It was actually a surf-trip. I spent 7 days in Boundoran surfing (and eating lot of junk food) and the remaning 3 days in Dublin where my sister lives and where i found some cool vegan restaurant and vegan bakery. There my days went like: have a run to te park and 100 burpees, go nut with vegan cakes, take a walk in that museum, go nut with icecream, have another run at the park and some calisthenics, go nut at the veg restaurant. Actually life wasnt that bad, i also managed to do not gain that much... I left Rome at 73kg and came back at 74kg
Once back in Rome (yeah I'm italian, probably i didn't told ya yet), I wanted to come back to the healthy lifestyle i had before, i was trying to cut weight from april/may so i decided to start with 4-6 weeks of cutting (properly done), to burn some fat till october, and then start my second year of training BULKING UP AGAIN! (in this year i went from 68kg/no mucles of last september to almost 80kg on march at the actual 72kg that was 73-74 before my vacation, i'll talk about that later but i'm quite satisfied)
Anyway i get to the point, I went into some eating disorder in my youth, and being on that cutting diet made me nervous.
The first week of my cut I always had concerns about eating too much or too less, most of all i feared to drop down with weight again! But i learned to deal with that and went on with my diet, then the hard part became to eat again something that was not in my schedule, I wanted to control it all... My first cheat day was ridicoulus: i had a cup of oatmeal in the morning, and a banana dipped in peanut butter after workout xD, and then ate even less than what i should to compensate xD.
The second week was more tolerable, i was more flexible but always with an eye on the macros, everything looked to be ok, I feel weak by times or some hungry but i was actually cutting so.... Fair game. Then i started with that mind of "refueling carbs in the weekend", to have another cheat. I started friday evening at diner with some sweetpotatoes and an oatmeal later along with my presleep shake (everyting ok!). I woke up the next morning and had an organic chocolate and nuts bar plus my usual protein-fruit shake, after workout i ate some soy icecream with oatmeal then i started to loose control... To feel more like i was bingeing then refueling.
If i think now about what i ate yesterday... It wasn't that much, it wasn't that cheat... I just stuffed myself with quinoa at lunch and added some brownrice to my usual tofu later.....
After that looks like i've regained control, like i woke up from a nightmare. I feel ok now, with what i ate today, yesterday and with what i'm going to eat. It helped me even to figure out better what to eat in this diet... But what actually matterrs is how i feel yesterday, and last days: this last month has pulled out many skeletons in my closet, old fears, sensations and feelings that i thought where gone. But now I grew up, I'm not the same as before, my life is different, I have had many experiences and achieved many goals things that i couldn't even come close before and I'm not afraid so I'm going to fuck it and gain at least 5kg of lean mass this year! That's my transformation, I dont want to get skinny... I want to bulk up! Because there's no easy way to bulk up! I won't take easy ways anymore!
Let's start this log, I think we can subtitle it Eat and lift! So:
Meal 1 350/400 kcal 30g pro
- 2 scoop of warrior blend
- 1 banana with almond butter
Meal 2 300/350 kcal 25g pro
- Soy yogurt with fruit and 1ts of peanut butter
Meal 3 350/400 kcal 25g pro
- Cauliflower, spinach and avocado salad with limejuice
Meal 4 250 kcal 18g pro (i was out of pumpkin seeds, usually i put a little more =()
- Scrambled tofu with 2 zucchini, pumpkin seeds and some green salad
Meal 5 250 kcal 15g pro (+ the almonds)
- Unsweetned almond milk with 1 scoop of rice protein + 10 almonds. Usually i get just 2 scoop of protein and the milk but i ran out of powder D:
Meal 6 360/370 kcal 30g pro
- Steamed tempeh and green beans
Meal 7 200 kcal 30g pro
- Protein shake and flaxseeds
Total: 2100/2200 kcal (170g protein)
I will edit this with next my meals, I think i will go on this way every day: 1 post for training and 1 for nutrition (and editing them when i need), Eat and lift... sound really nice xD
Edit: I have lots of reflections and toughts about today, most are positive
. I'm a bit concerned because tomorrow is my rest day but thursday and wednsday i probably won't have the possibility to train, i will figure out something while sleeping... I'm really tired