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 Post subject: Partner is obsessed with his weight!
PostPosted: Sun Jul 14, 2013 3:26 pm 
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Manatee
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Location: Hampshire Swordsman
Well I've been working out for a long while, I went from 250lbs to 175/7 lbs and from a 42 inch waist to a 32 inch waist.

A long while ago (about a year or more) my boyfriend saw the photos of me and said that he would like to get into fitness. I said "sure" and that I would help him all the way though he doesn't listen to me at all.

He works out with weights at home, jogs and does Judo twice a week. He's not a vegan but he only eats fish now and some odd milk.. The biggest problem I have is that he obsesses about his weight. He wont recognize any progress he makes despite what the scales say. He's been at 13 stone (182lbs) for a while and he's 5'7 though he doesn't look fat at all. I keep trying to tell him that the scales don't matter so much.. But he wont listen to me at all. No matter what I say he just keeps obsessing about his weight.

I've tried to tell him that he'll be putting muscle on and all the other stuff but again, he wont listen.

Is there anything else I can do? Because right now I feel like I'm about to give up.

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 Post subject: Re: Partner is obsessed with his weight!
PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2013 2:36 pm 
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My partner is also obsessed with his weight. :/ Have you tried giving a links to an online source explaining that it's not all about the numbers, so it's coming from someone other than you, an "authority" on the matter? IDK that there' s much you'll be able to say or do to change his perspective. I think that they have to come to it on their own.

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 Post subject: Re: Partner is obsessed with his weight!
PostPosted: Mon Jul 22, 2013 8:36 pm 
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Manatee
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mythil wrote:
Well I've been working out for a long while, I went from 250lbs to 175/7 lbs and from a 42 inch waist to a 32 inch waist.

A long while ago (about a year or more) my boyfriend saw the photos of me and said that he would like to get into fitness. I said "sure" and that I would help him all the way though he doesn't listen to me at all.

He works out with weights at home, jogs and does Judo twice a week. He's not a vegan but he only eats fish now and some odd milk.. The biggest problem I have is that he obsesses about his weight. He wont recognize any progress he makes despite what the scales say. He's been at 13 stone (182lbs) for a while and he's 5'7 though he doesn't look fat at all. I keep trying to tell him that the scales don't matter so much.. But he wont listen to me at all. No matter what I say he just keeps obsessing about his weight.

I've tried to tell him that he'll be putting muscle on and all the other stuff but again, he wont listen.

Is there anything else I can do? Because right now I feel like I'm about to give up.


What is his goal at this point??? Perhaps take his measurements, and try an focus on that instead?

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 Post subject: Re: Partner is obsessed with his weight!
PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 9:04 pm 
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Some people focus so hard on a number, they forget what their goal is and why they got into fitness in the first place. I think once he notices that most of a time a drop in weight after being at a steady weight will lead to some strength loss he may turn his head around.


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 Post subject: Re: Partner is obsessed with his weight!
PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 9:02 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jun 02, 2013 1:25 pm
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When I first started getting into food and fitness, I actually developed this problem. Like your partner, I was obsessed with numbers(body weight and counting calories) and was pretty miserable. Luckily my partner was very understanding and wanted to help me. She did this by getting me to relax more about food and fitness, but she would do everything with me so I didn't feel left out. We took time off the gym so show that its not the end of the world if we don't go. She would also take me places where it's hard/impossible to track calories(were at a university, so we would eat at buffet style places). She would also eat junk food with me. It was hard at first, but eventually food became normal to me again and was much happier. I hope this helps.


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 Post subject: Re: Partner is obsessed with his weight!
PostPosted: Tue Aug 27, 2013 5:26 am 
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Location: Hampshire Swordsman
Quote:
What is his goal at this point??? Perhaps take his measurements, and try an focus on that instead?


Well generally he saw me losing weight because of my diet (proper use of the term diet) and how I was working out so he decided he wanted to do it to.

First of all he said he wanted to lose a bit of fat mass and even though he's not overweight I was okay with it as long as he was careful with it.
Then I encouraged him to take up a sport and since I'm a martial artist I suggested that he had a good frame for Judo and he took my suggestion and now loves Judo. I wanted to suggest this to get him out of the house and to make exercise more fun than a challenge.
Then he said he wanted to get all muscular and lose weight to look good for me and that's when I started to worry. So I tried to steer him away from doing that and maybe just getting fit for him though he got a bit upset any time he couldn't finish a workout or didn't progress or lose weight as much as he wants and gets depressed about it. Kinda' trying to move him away from this as it's going to cause massive self esteem issues if it got worse. So I'm trying to move him away from typical sets/reps and so on and to more fun things..

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"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." - Sir Winston Churchill


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 Post subject: Re: Partner is obsessed with his weight!
PostPosted: Tue Aug 27, 2013 8:29 am 
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Joined: Mon Apr 22, 2013 6:13 am
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does he have to listen? lol

is it as problem if he wants to keep improving his body? i don't see the problem


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 Post subject: Re: Partner is obsessed with his weight!
PostPosted: Tue Aug 27, 2013 9:35 am 
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Manatee
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Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2012 1:34 pm
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Location: Hampshire Swordsman
muchidna wrote:
does he have to listen? lol

is it as problem if he wants to keep improving his body? i don't see the problem


The fact that he is only concerned about his weight, gets depressed and obsessed about it.

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"Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard." - Tim Notke
"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." - Sir Winston Churchill


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