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Feeling a bit better today, but I feel weird after I eat. Only for a short time though. Probably cuz my body is going "OSHI! FOOD!! WHAR HAVE U BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!?"

Drinking lots of water. I wanna traaaaain so bad. Especially biceps for the contest. I want badass arms like Ruz's but that's not gonna happen in a week lol. Still, I'm gonna enter because the prizes look nummy. Yep. Bribe me with food, that's all you have to do!

I'm feeling like a skinny little runt just living off of Cheerios and bananas the past couple days. So weeaaaaak.

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My arms feel like RUBBAH!!!

 

I did drop sets today for biceps. Whoa man! It was the most awesome thing. Definitely challenging. I loved every minute of it. I also did shoulders, triceps, abs, and chest. Then I hit the stationary bike and did some intense cardio for about 15 minutes. Much fun. I missed the gym so much.

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I'm irritable. Maybe cuz it's hot and it's been a long day, but I think I'm PMSing. I feel like a fatass and I wanna eat junk food.

 

The heat keeps me awake. It's not really THAT hot, but it bugs me still. My allergies often wake me up early too so I've been underslept.

 

Today I was at my mom's place and this little dog, a miniature pinscher, was running down the road. The poor thing almost got smoked by a car (cuz ppl do like, 60k in a 30k zone, the assholes) but I yelled to my sis from the balcony to go catch the little doggie.

She has no tag, but a tattoo in her ear. Most of the veterinary clinics in Abbotsford close at 5pm and it was about 6 when we found her. She's staying the night at my mom's place in the basement. My sister's friend is staying in the basement and the dog just loves him. She's a female, spayed, and well kept-after. Her owners must care about her a lot so I hope we find them soon. I phoned around a little bit and got some food for her. I'll continue the search tomorrow. Every clinic has a different letter code, and the first letter changes every year. I think I've figured out which clinic she came from by the letters so I'll call them first tomorrow.

 

I got home at dusk, maybe 9:30 or so and did a workout. It was tough with the heat but I got it done. I watched Valkyrie while doing it. I did back and abs.. Mostly abs cuz I hate them. I don't train my abs very often. I need a stronger core though, and I need to lose some bodyfat. So hard because I wanna eat all the time! I'm hungry from the weight training. Gotta start doing more of the DREADED CARDIO!! Nuuuuuu!!!! I'm so used to eating what I want, when I want. It's gonna be tough having to change that.

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I got home at dusk, maybe 9:30 or so and did a workout. It was tough with the heat but I got it done. I watched Valkyrie while doing it. I did back and abs.. Mostly abs cuz I hate them. I don't train my abs very often. I need a stronger core though, and I need to lose some bodyfat. So hard because I wanna eat all the time! I'm hungry from the weight training. Gotta start doing more of the DREADED CARDIO!! Nuuuuuu!!!! I'm so used to eating what I want, when I want. It's gonna be tough having to change that.

 

You're so committed, Marcina. You can make happen with your body whatever you want to happen. Like doing abs the most because you hate them the most, that's the mark of a determined woman! How did u like valkyrie?

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Valkyrie was GREAT!

 

Also, I always tend to target my weak spots and work them the hardest. The past year I've been working on my legs a lot. They are super super skinny, and I used to be called "chicken legs" when I was a kid. Now I actually have some definition. Plus, doing dead-lifts and squats has done wonders for my strength.

 

Today I'm headin to to the gym for leg day to train heavy!

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Squats on hack squat machine: 3 sets, 6-8 reps, 180 pounds

Seated leg press (in the Ladies' area. Only did 1 set cuz there's nothing friggin good in that room so I took off downstairs to the REAL gym!) 195, 15 reps

Dead-lifts: Did one set of 6 with 97 pounds and almost killed myself lol. Went down to I think 58 or so and did 6-10 reps for 3 sets.

Leg press: 3 sets, 90 pounds, 15 reps (this is the one where you sorta lay down and have your legs in the air. A bit tougher)

Standing calf raise: 3 sets, Forgot the weight.. 195 I think. 6 reps. I did them nice and slow too

Another calf raise. Unusual machine. Seated, but legs are straight. I did 120 pounds with 15 reps. 3 sets.

Plie squat: 25 pounds, 2 sets, 15 reps.

30 minutes on the stationary bike for cardio.

 

My legs feel like rubbah!

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I can't sleep.

 

It's not just insomnia that's keeping me awake this time. It's stress. I looked at my bank account today and it's almost empty. My Visa bill is getting really close to being maxed.. Mostly from just the interest. I still haven't found a job. It's getting to an overwhelming point now..

 

Not only that but i've been having some REALLY freaky dreams the past few nights. Dreams about earthquakes, dead people, someone pointing a gun to my head and threatening to rape me, and last night I dreamt I cut up my left arm. The freakiest part about it is that I actually felt pain. I was putting ointment on the cuts or something and I felt it burning. I woke up after only about 3 hours of sleep and couldn't get back to sleep. Man it was scary. I don't even know why I dreamt that.. or what happened in the dream that led me to do that to myself. I just remember looking down at my arm and it was bleeding.

I was so tired that I was falling asleep on the couch playing video games, so I went up to bed. I just tossed and turned and started thinking about stuff.. Not having a job.. Being broke.. Being in debt.. Being afraid to fall asleep.. So I got up and just started bawling my eyes out. I woke up my bf but he had to go back to bed cuz he needs to be at work in a few hours. He said we'll talk tomorrow.

 

I don't know what to do.. I had a job interview a few weeks ago and I didn't get hired. I felt like a huge loser then. I keep telling myself it's not my fault.. but it really feels like it is. I don't feel like I get any support from Silvio either to be honest.. Sometimes I think that inside he's blaming me and thinks I'm a huge burden on him. That's probably not true either but when you're feeling down on yourself it's really hard to believe it.

I've been doing a pretty good job at trying to stay calm and confident and continue looking for jobs.. but it's been 9 months now that I've been unemployed. I'm starting to lose it.

 

Sorry for the super depressing post I just had to get it out somewhere.

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9 Months sure does blow right, but you are not alone. We are sad witnesses to something that a few years down the line may be real interesting to study, but living it makes ya want to put a bullet in the head. Just keep your head up, keep the faith and keep lookin for dem better days.

I know the crying game, do it every day. You know your down when the sunshine dont make you smile, when you just cant seem to find what it is that allowed you to wake up just yesterday. But as things go down they will come back up, we will reach a rich period in this world again, the key is to learn from this stuff, it was like this in the 80's, it will be like this again.

9 months is harsh, my dad aint had a job in 2 years, MOFO cant even seem to get hired at McD's.

Hey with a body like yours theres always strippin right

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*hugs Marcina* I can totally understand that frustration about the job market right now. One of my best friends can't find anything except seasonal tax preparer stuff and he's got an accounting degree. It's so tough to get a job right now. When this happened to me and I couldn't find anything else, I ended up at McDonald's for a year. I started as crew and during that time worked my way up the fast food ladder. It sucks, but that's always an option for you.

 

On a happy note, you were in a dream I had last night about the forum and won a "Vegan Girls in Iron" bodybuilding competition. For the full dream, feel free to peek at my food and exercise log. It's pretty darn funny! And it might make you laugh, which I know will help you feel better!

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9 Months sure does blow right, but you are not alone. We are sad witnesses to something that a few years down the line may be real interesting to study, but living it makes ya want to put a bullet in the head. Just keep your head up, keep the faith and keep lookin for dem better days.

I know the crying game, do it every day. You know your down when the sunshine dont make you smile, when you just cant seem to find what it is that allowed you to wake up just yesterday. But as things go down they will come back up, we will reach a rich period in this world again, the key is to learn from this stuff, it was like this in the 80's, it will be like this again.

9 months is harsh, my dad aint had a job in 2 years, MOFO cant even seem to get hired at McD's.

Hey with a body like yours theres always strippin right :wink:

 

Haha! This made me crack a smile! I can't strip, yo. I have no bewbies. I am also a VERY TERRIBLE dancer. Nobody should be subjected to that. Would you watch someone strip while doing the Carlton? Lol

 

All you guys made me feel better with your kind words.

Being a vegan, I just figured that working in a fast food restaurant would be difficult for me. It was hard when I wasn't a vegan.. because I was selling this toxic food to people who should be eating healthy food instead! I've applied at a couple fast food restaurants that don't seem too bad.. I know many elitist vegans would look down on that but I don't care. I applied at Quizno's and Panago Pizza. Never heard a thing either. Next I'll apply at Tim Horton's (for those who aren't Canadian, it's a huge coffee and doughnut chain).. Mcdonald's will be a last resort. I worked there when I was 19. It was fun until I got the manager from hell!

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I know fast food really isn't that great, but one summer when I had trouble finding a job I worked at Subway. The job wasn't THAT bad, but the manager was a total jerk. Don't get me wrong, it's certainly not an ideal job, but for me it was better than nothing.

 

What about waitressing at a non-fast food place?

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What? In BC you need a course to waitress? I guess that makes sense, in Sask. and MB they'll just let any yahoo work in the food industry.

 

I think it's stupid. I already have foodsafe. Shit, I took aseptic technique in college. I'm pretty sure I can figure out how to bring food out to people.

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  • 4 weeks later...

sooo I got a job

It's real easy too haha! I work in a call center so I yap on the phone all day. It rocks. I have enough energy to go to the gym when I come home. Only getting a couple shifts a week though.. Gonna have to bug em to schedule me more! I really need the money.

 

I also started a new workout routine, the K.I.S.S routine. All compounds, weight lifting 3 days a week. It's good for building muscles. This is the workout I'm following:

 

Seated Row - 6-10 Reps

Pullup - 6-10 Reps

Barbell Pullover - 6-10 Reps

Close-grip Bench Press - 6-10 Reps

One-arm Cable Pushdown - 6-10 Reps

Barbell Curl - 6-10 Reps

Dumbell Hammer Curl - 6-10 Reps

 

Workout #2

 

EXERCISE

Barbell Squat - 6-10 Reps

Dumbell Lunge - 6-10 Reps

Leg Extension - 6-10 Reps

Barbell Deadift - 6-10 Reps

Leg Curl - 6-10 Reps

Ab Crunch - 15-25 Reps

Oblique Crunch - 15-25 Reps

 

Workout #3

 

EXERCISE

Dumbell Bench Press - 6-10 Reps

Incline Hammer Press - 6-10 Reps

Bar Dips - 6-10 Reps

Dumbell Shoulder Press - 6-10 Reps

Upright Barbell Row - 6-10 Reps

Standing Calve Raise - 8-12 Reps

Seated Tibilais Raise - 8-12 Reps

 

Yesterday I did workout 1, and tomorrow I'll do workout 2, then workout 3 etc. etc. With a day of rest in between. It's pretty awesome. I hope it works!

I started drinking coffee again.. Lol. It's a habit I picked up in Powell River cuz I was getting minimal sleep and was very busy all day. I had the best trip. The air is so fresh and I could run forever! I did lots of exercise. Running, dancing, and weight lifting in the 3 days I was there. I'm uploading pics on Facebook now.

I'm also trying to eat more protein. So far, a lot of it comes from grains like oats and stuff so as you can imagine, I'm going to the bathroom a lot. Oh well. I got this awesome muesli with maple flavour. Mmmm!! Tres Canadien!

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