Hello my name is Tom and I am a drug addict.

Create and maintain your own personal online journal. Log your meals and/or workouts, and monitor your progress. Hold yourself accountable and receive support, suggestions, and be open to feedback.

Moderators: Mini Forklift Ⓥ, C.O., Richard, robert, SyrLinus

Message
Author
User avatar
Ruz
Manatee
Posts: 360
Age: 47
Joined: Fri May 08, 2009 2:33 pm

Re: Hello my name is Tom and I am a drug addict.

#31 Postby Ruz » Wed Jul 08, 2009 4:22 pm

Dude..I've been a dope addict for years. I know people look on it as a soft drug, but when you buy this genetically manipulated stuff and roll up a 2g pure weed spliff BEFORE you eat breakfast you know you've got a big problem.
I've tried to stop smoking many times but ALL my friends smoke a lot..although some are not as addicted as others.
I think I'd been stoned 24h a day for about 7 years, but now I haven't smoked in 3 weeks and the only way I've achieved this is by refusing to see any of my friends.
Really, I'm going to have to look for new friends because I can't say no if someone offers me a spliff but I CAN stop buying it myself. These last 3 weeks however, have been really tough..and especially so because I've felt very lonely without my friends. I've had terrible withdrawal symptoms..cronic imsomnia, shaking, paranoia, depression...pff!
And its easy for people to say "look for new friends" but its not like when you are at school..its harder the older you get and that's the worst of it in the long run in my opinion.
You probably think its silly but I know a lot of people who have had a hard time stopping smoking weed. I've also notied I have a LOT more muscle tension..and yes, I did use to train stoned! one of the reasons I stopped smoking was my love of the soprt. I wanted to see if I could achieve more cutting out my one and only unhealthy vice! Only time will tell. However, one immediate effect of stopping smoking dope is that now I don't have the munchies, I've finally managed to get down to the 10% BF level I was striving for and my skin looks great! I have had to dramatically increase my cardio and am doing a lot of sprinting and stuff. I'm extremely nervous and the weed helped me keep it under control but now I have to find another way to let off that excessive energy i have!
Stay strong and good luck!
I'm not a vegan because I love animals..I'm a vegan because I hate plants!

User avatar
zinzen
Gorilla
Posts: 967
Age: 36
Joined: Wed Jun 25, 2008 9:35 pm
Location: myspace.com/fuckbushskinhead666

Re: Hello my name is Tom and I am a drug addict.

#32 Postby zinzen » Wed Jul 08, 2009 4:36 pm

I know a lot of people who went through that with weed. And hell yeah its hard to get new peeps
Start going to recovery meetings and u will find people
Best of luck

We gotta learn to see the beauty in each moment of life
Everyone has different pasts and we're seeking the light
The world is divided between peasants and kings
But the truth is everyone is looking for the same thing

User avatar
Veganjkdgirl
Rabbit
Posts: 37
Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2009 11:30 am

Re: Hello my name is Tom and I am a drug addict.

#33 Postby Veganjkdgirl » Thu Jul 09, 2009 9:56 am

Wishing you the best and I admire your courage in tackling your addictions and talking about them so openly.......

User avatar
zinzen
Gorilla
Posts: 967
Age: 36
Joined: Wed Jun 25, 2008 9:35 pm
Location: myspace.com/fuckbushskinhead666

Re: Hello my name is Tom and I am a drug addict.

#34 Postby zinzen » Thu Jul 09, 2009 10:01 am

It is what it is aint no point in hiding
Thanks

We gotta learn to see the beauty in each moment of life
Everyone has different pasts and we're seeking the light
The world is divided between peasants and kings
But the truth is everyone is looking for the same thing

User avatar
xveganjoshx
Elephant
Posts: 1466
Joined: Sat Feb 10, 2007 11:46 pm
Location: Atlanta, Ga

Re: Hello my name is Tom and I am a drug addict.

#35 Postby xveganjoshx » Thu Jul 09, 2009 2:38 pm

They say Marijuana isn't a drug, that it's a harmless plant, but the truth is it's not always the case. It can by very psychologically addicting, as shown in tons of ex-users.

They say Marijuana isn't a gateway drug, that it's just a recreational activity, but I personally know that I wouldn't have done any of the retarded shit and poisionous substances that I did if I hadn't gotten tired of weed and wanted to search for a different/better/more unusual drug experience.

I was never a fan of all the Refer Madness when I smoked, and I'm STILL not a fan of it now, but these two things I wrote are the fucking truth and anyone who thinks otherwise might be a small exception but it's not worth what other people have experienced including myself.

Word,
Josh
The (Vegan) Dating Coach
Buy me a drink if your gonna hit on me like that!
:glasses4: + :glasses5: = :fish:
:usa2: :usa2: :usa2:

User avatar
zinzen
Gorilla
Posts: 967
Age: 36
Joined: Wed Jun 25, 2008 9:35 pm
Location: myspace.com/fuckbushskinhead666

Re: Hello my name is Tom and I am a drug addict.

#36 Postby zinzen » Thu Jul 09, 2009 2:55 pm

I will always be a supporter of marijuana rights.
I agree with what was said but not with every case of course

We gotta learn to see the beauty in each moment of life
Everyone has different pasts and we're seeking the light
The world is divided between peasants and kings
But the truth is everyone is looking for the same thing

User avatar
Ruz
Manatee
Posts: 360
Age: 47
Joined: Fri May 08, 2009 2:33 pm

Re: Hello my name is Tom and I am a drug addict.

#37 Postby Ruz » Thu Jul 09, 2009 3:17 pm

Yep..I think it depends on the person. For me, sweet mary jane wasn't a gateway drug. I loved it and stuck with it. I once read a book called the psychology of the drug user, which detailed why some drugs appeal to some people and not others For example, I'm extremely nervous and hyperactive and annoy just about anyone who lives with me because its impossible for me to sit down for more than five minutes in a row..this is why mary was MY perfect drug. Coke on the other hand, only exaggerated my natural hyperactivity and I absolutely hated it! Like halluconogenics..I already have an over active imagination so taking acid for example is terrifying for me!
Its all down to personality. I know lots of people who smoke dope and keep to one spliff a night, but for me, as I love it so much, this isn't possible. But my M8 who can limit himself to one spliff a night gets paraletic on alcohol several times a week..so its all relative.
I think when you get to the point where you're drugging yourself BEFORE you go to work, or buying drugs BEFORE you buy food its time to admit you have a problem...WHATEVER the drug, legal or not!
I'm not a vegan because I love animals..I'm a vegan because I hate plants!

CollegeB
Elephant
Posts: 2783
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm

Re: Hello my name is Tom and I am a drug addict.

#38 Postby CollegeB » Thu Jul 09, 2009 3:33 pm

Actually the researchers I have worked with and even the ONDCP does not regard marijuana as a gateway drug. The current understanding is that Marijuana does introduce people to drug culture which allows them access to other drugs, but it's not like people start smoking pot and then always work their way to other drugs. The refer madness "gateway drug" definition is b.s.

User avatar
xveganjoshx
Elephant
Posts: 1466
Joined: Sat Feb 10, 2007 11:46 pm
Location: Atlanta, Ga

Re: Hello my name is Tom and I am a drug addict.

#39 Postby xveganjoshx » Thu Jul 09, 2009 4:32 pm

CollegeB wrote:The current understanding is that Marijuana does introduce people to drug culture which allows them access to other drugs

This is my point.

You can call it opening the gateway or not, I don't really give a shit about semantics, what I know comes from firsthand experience with myself and literally hundreds of other people met through years in that scene.

I was always curious about what age people started doing stuff and with what drug, so I always used to ask people even when I was a user because drug culture always fascinated me. Out of everyone I know, I've only met one person who did something else (psilocybin mushrooms) before they ever did pot, and I remember that distinctly because I thought that was so odd and basically everyone starts smoking pot and then (most of the time) moves onto at least ecstacy, or coke, or pills. Not the other way around.

This is my experience, refute it if you want, I don't care what a bunch of assholes at the DEA or other combination of letters and numbers think about my life and hundreds of others I know.

-Josh
The (Vegan) Dating Coach
Buy me a drink if your gonna hit on me like that!
:glasses4: + :glasses5: = :fish:
:usa2: :usa2: :usa2:

User avatar
zinzen
Gorilla
Posts: 967
Age: 36
Joined: Wed Jun 25, 2008 9:35 pm
Location: myspace.com/fuckbushskinhead666

Re: Hello my name is Tom and I am a drug addict.

#40 Postby zinzen » Thu Jul 09, 2009 4:36 pm

Well it feels like day 10000000000. for some reason as this goes on its getting mucho harder. this past day some drama started up in my world and I had to bat off the obsession for the vodka I knew my ma had in the cabnet next to my feet like at least 10 times.
I came home today and saw shot glasses out from when my wife and friend drank yesterday and it fucking damn near killed me. I never even cared much about booze. The challenge has begun hard, ripping at my motherfucking soul, shit physically hurts no doubt.
I just want to kick a good response to the people posting on this blog like confession. Thank you for your continued intrest and support, and as I said in short I will always support marijuana as a medicine, it helped me through some really painful times, I have never had an issue with stopping, have not smoked in way over a year, though I do know several peeps that have been brought down by the sticky green.
I have just renounced all forms of intoxicants for me and my buddhist practice. I obsess on all forms, if I start running low its all I think about, I am no longer me, shit I dont think I have ever been me, I might show up in like a month or so. That is why I gotta stop it all, even freaking allergy meds, same thing happens because they change my reality, cant run anymore. so I sneeze, oh well.
I know if it gets real bad I can always start using dope again, as dumb as that sounds, so why not, just for today, why not stay sober. tomorrow we will see, the whole One day at a time thing.
Thanks again for reading and posting, I personally know how hard it is to keep up with long winded blogs by people who seem just a bit to self centered.
Peace people.

We gotta learn to see the beauty in each moment of life
Everyone has different pasts and we're seeking the light
The world is divided between peasants and kings
But the truth is everyone is looking for the same thing

User avatar
Ruz
Manatee
Posts: 360
Age: 47
Joined: Fri May 08, 2009 2:33 pm

Re: Hello my name is Tom and I am a drug addict.

#41 Postby Ruz » Thu Jul 09, 2009 4:49 pm

The first drug people try is generally alcohol or cigarettes...and they are STILL responsible for killing more people then any other drugs...
I'm not a vegan because I love animals..I'm a vegan because I hate plants!

User avatar
Fallen_Horse
Elephant
Posts: 2341
Joined: Mon Apr 28, 2008 12:10 pm
Location: Bakersfield, CA, USA
Contact:

Re: Hello my name is Tom and I am a drug addict.

#42 Postby Fallen_Horse » Thu Jul 09, 2009 8:03 pm

Hang in there Tom! As many have already said, it's harder now than it ever will be in the future!
Learning how to be compassionate, gain wisdom, and love life.

User avatar
zinzen
Gorilla
Posts: 967
Age: 36
Joined: Wed Jun 25, 2008 9:35 pm
Location: myspace.com/fuckbushskinhead666

Re: Hello my name is Tom and I am a drug addict.

#43 Postby zinzen » Thu Jul 09, 2009 9:38 pm

Today is ending easier then it started. I am not in the pain, just getting used to seeing things as they are, summer is fine, worried about building a good sober foundation for winter, for winter can kill a mofo with the quickness.

We gotta learn to see the beauty in each moment of life
Everyone has different pasts and we're seeking the light
The world is divided between peasants and kings
But the truth is everyone is looking for the same thing

User avatar
veginator
Gorilla
Posts: 621
Age: 55
Joined: Wed Jun 25, 2008 7:50 pm
Location: Bloomington, IN

Re: Hello my name is Tom and I am a drug addict.

#44 Postby veginator » Thu Jul 09, 2009 9:55 pm

zinzen wrote:Hiya, most of you kids know me pretty well on here, though I aint been posting much. Well recently I have finally allowed myself to say out loud that I am in fact addicted to just a wonderfully large assortment of mind altering substances and it is high time I do something about it. So as part of my recovery I am going to post here a journal of sorts, not every day mind you but enough for me to be held accountable for me, to well ...me.
Today starts my fifth day sober, five days out of 15 years of being high everyday, no exaggeration.
Tonight I sat in a house filled with people drinking and smoking dope while popping percocets and I am happy to say that while it was friggin hard I in fact remained sober :D
Since starting this shit I have twitched, cried, puked, froze and sweated and generally asked myself what the hell I thought I was doing anyways. I figure I have about 3 to 5 more days of the physical aspect of withdrawl, then its on to the ever so annoying aspect of mental anguish.
Well its bed time for now, got an AA meeting at 9:45am.


It's great that you're doing this. It's tough, but it will get less tough, and it's worth it. Best of luck!

User avatar
xveganjoshx
Elephant
Posts: 1466
Joined: Sat Feb 10, 2007 11:46 pm
Location: Atlanta, Ga

Re: Hello my name is Tom and I am a drug addict.

#45 Postby xveganjoshx » Thu Jul 09, 2009 10:38 pm

Like I posted above, the first 1-3 months are the hardest for most people. Then it gets a lot easier as you have momentum under your belt and perspective about the whole situation.

PM me if you need my cell number, you're more than welcome.

Best,
Josh
The (Vegan) Dating Coach
Buy me a drink if your gonna hit on me like that!
:glasses4: + :glasses5: = :fish:
:usa2: :usa2: :usa2:


Return to “Online Training Journals & Blogs”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 1 guest