I have always been quite aware of the isness of all things, also quite aware of the dumbassness of myself and my affliction with drugs and addiction to my mind. I just finally gathered the nards ( nards when the fuck did you see that last, monster squad all the way baby) to do something about it.
Back in 2001 I got out of a troubling time in my head where I was no longer in control of my own thoughts, I got out of this by realizing that the entire two years of insanity was brought on not by being insane in the conventional sense, but that the voices in my head were indeed voices of my head, i.e. the voice in my head my mind.
once this realization occured it afforded me the oppertunity to take on myself as wrote by many enlightened and not so light lit cats throughout the ages instead of relying on psycotropic drugs, which were only making it worse.
With weight training and the glorious plant of marijuana I took back my soul.
But in the end my addiction took on a new form of using narcotics to summon control of every moment, to where if I was sad, pop a pill, mad pop a pill, happy, fuck it pop one anyways.
his impeaded my ability to feel my energy and to feel the love I had for myself, and once I took a look around and saw what an ass I was teaching meditation but using drugs as my meditation I knew it must be stopped.
Then once I stopped I saw my marriage get better, my mood stabilize, my head get clear thats when I saw it was not me, not the drugs, just my lack of control, my abuse that caused such a horrid cycle.
medications are fine, they have a purpose, one that has great use and benifit( some I should say)
Marijuana is one of the universes wonderful gifts to us humans, if you have no drug problem please see the greatness of this wonderful flower and do accordingly, this plant has never took a life alone, it has brought greatness to many, and ended suffering in many peoples lives without being played with or made better by man.
I unfortunatly can no longeer use anything if I am to gain my control back, I know this and I morn that part of my life and embrace the new place I am in.
And John hell yeah my energy is coming back and I am going often, getting tired of my shoulder coming out of place all the time so I am fixing it my self.
soon I will be able to do flys again and then watch out, my chest will be as big as that cartoon VeganEssentials posted