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 Post subject: Re: Comedy Battle
PostPosted: Wed Oct 22, 2008 7:37 pm 
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Have ya ever seen god?
He appeared to me on a plate of quinoa.
with teeth made outta greens raw, side-a beans and a mean side-a coleslaw.
I had a whole jaw full a bear claw that I bah from the voodoo spah in p-tah down-tah.
Guess wah? my Ma saw the same damn blob in her corn-on-a-cob.
Took the story to the inquirerererer and the star. Sold it all for a buck and a back room slob of m' nob.
Ob-vious guy said that I got robbed.
that would be a Y.P. not an M.P., your prob!
Ask Rob? To turn the other Cheeke, its his last name.
I ate a vegan cat the other day left my mouth with a bad taste.
They make fake every kinda meat fur real.
Last week I had a date she ate the tofu-veal.
Whats the appeal?
Yeah waiter, I'd like the fuckin' vegan baby seal with side of bald eagle.
fur-real.


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 Post subject: Re: Comedy Battle
PostPosted: Wed Oct 22, 2008 10:04 pm 
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Location: Austin, TX
Great to see you back on here! Loved reading that post too! Sorry I haven't been around...I'm on the East Coast til Nov. 5th

Super busy these days. I'll rhyme later :)

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 Post subject: Re: Comedy Battle
PostPosted: Wed Oct 22, 2008 11:22 pm 
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Posts: 1934
Location: Live Oak, California
I'll write my own little rap hoo haa :lol:



I aint looking for no cerrios, ya hear-ios? Lucky the leprechaun, the transformers desepticon
they all got one thing in common. 80's fuck the world that's what it's all about.
Teenage mutant ninja turtles, they leap hurtles, be kickin squirtles.
No one as bad ass as R.E.M, the singing gem, lost my religion and now I'm one of dem.
What son? You don't know what I preachin? Must be some 90's boy, you be screechin.

Back to muh cereal. I love it for real-i-o. I cry for the trix rabbit. Chasin kids for food has become his bad habit. And the little bitches won't even give him a bit dammit. why couldn't they just let him have-it?

And don'k get me started on on the NES. Dat shit sucked my life into a living mess. Playing Mario all day and all night. The next morning I looked like a real fright. Looked like a vampire and dat just aint right.

It's da 80's, 80's tis what it's all about. Gotta give my shout-out.
80's, 80's, the cartoons were the best. Betta then all da rest.

Music in the 80's was the best of any other. I totally wish Boy George was ma mother. Singing about karma and tumblin. When I dance to da music it makes me hummalin. Come on Eileen that song is peachy keen. I dance to it like a nerdy little geen. Such great music made back in the day, makes me wish music was like that today.

Who can forget the awesome gummi bears, Bouncin here and there and everywhears. That was one awsome disney series. The fact it's not on drives me to tear-ies.

It's da 80's, 80's tis what it's all about. Gotta give my shout-out.
80's, 80's the cartoons were the best. Betta then all da rest.

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Check it out here. http://www.legendofzeldaseries.com/forums/index.php ^_^


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 Post subject: Re: Comedy Battle
PostPosted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 2:16 am 
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I just saw your join vbbf tweet, been like 20 weeks since I been typin' to tha beat.
This post ain't discreat. I excreet flows like some body spilled the beans.
This forums like a meat, I gotta sink my teeth.
like i'm a vampire, true blood, i gotta drink "V".
Synthetic hold, pathetic blows, poetic scrolls, my head ache- oh.
Say can you see other emcees like skinny terds,
land of the free and the home of the Timbers.
Shiver me timbers.
I mend words
I blend verbs
The never ending gobstopper bender
grew up and the suger hi turned inword
found a friend to share a friendly N word
like noir, warp your head around this battle rap battle star
galattica, im intergaltic planetary practical.
This is some over tired why'm I not asleep
brains expired guy with a keyboard and hot beat.

-CO


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 Post subject: Re: Comedy Battle
PostPosted: Sat Jan 16, 2010 10:16 pm 
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Location: Austin, TX
Dude, it's hilarious that this has been viewed over 20,000 times!

One of the oldest threads on here for sure!

I'll try to reply soon thug.

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 Post subject: Re: Comedy Battle
PostPosted: Sun Jun 13, 2010 4:20 am 
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They all say Man you scary
haven't posted since Jan-u-ary
damn i've been scammed but uncle sam dues burry
my paycheck in debt quick like a hop skip
I go from pay day patrones
to pay day loans
faster than a crackhead spittin cray-zay poems
they say a job aint nuthin but work
and all work and no play cause suffer-n-hurt
so i scuffle and flirt
with distaster
recently mastered the art of being a true bastard.


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 Post subject: Re: Comedy Battle
PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2012 3:47 pm 
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It's gym time
Need to swim lines.
so I can spin minds.
I'm kinda thin-wide.
with kinda trim sides.
Yeah I'm slim, fine.
Can see that squint spy.
Is that grin kind?
I don't know, think you're steppin' on the friend line.

Done with the cardio.
Time for the army show.
You know the party go,
head shoulders knees and toes.

Work hard like unconscious.
Hallux to anconeus.
check out my anaconda.
I'm like half man-monster.

Haha It's been a couple years since a post on this thread. Had to do a quick 16 and see if anyone notices.

-Dylan


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 Post subject: Re: Comedy Battle
PostPosted: Tue May 15, 2012 2:08 am 
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Love it! 2AM now and I gotta head to bed so I can't come up with a reply, but you know I'll be straight bringin it when I rested.

This might be the oldest thread on the whole forum still being used.

Haha!

Thank for bringing it back, and nice rhyme too. Diggin it. I'll likely rap about the Thunder sweeping the Lakers. That way I'll really get into it. :)

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 Post subject: Re: Comedy Battle
PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 12:43 pm 
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Just wanted to share with the forum I've been throwing comedy shows for the past 5 years or so. Many of the shows I have throw have been Comedy Battles. Not rapping/emcee battles like in this goofy thread but Stand up comedy competitions in the form of 1 on 1 tournaments. Several years back I actually did a private comedy battles show for Robert's Vegan Vacation group in Portland Oregon at a Pirate themed vegan restaurant that has now turned into a vegan strip club (yes Im serious this really exists). It was a very small but fun show. Since then I have taken my show to the largest club in Portland, Helium; and had a battle between Seattle vs Portland among many other shows.
I am excited to share that I have booked a venue and set a date for my first show in New York, in July. This is a huge deal to me because NY is just a whole different level, so many comedians from all across the country/world are here trying to make it, so competition is fierce. Hopefully I will get some good video footage from this event and post it in the forum.

Cheers,

-Dylan


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 Post subject: Re: Comedy Battle
PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2012 2:21 am 
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Its 303 am
You know me who I am
I'll take a moral stand, then give your girl oral exams
I'm inappropriate
but if its dope free it
blow it up don't need damn a microscope to see it
What about Libya
What bout the south-south Bronx
there's so much going on
there's so much going wrong
I'm just like flowing strong
and steady holding on
if I'm the only one
Still be the one that won

Eh a couple of good lines, not the best, a little rusty, anyone else like to freestyle? Please feel free to post.


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 Post subject: Re: Comedy Battle
PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2013 2:22 pm 
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On that calorie in-take
salary done broke tha bank
can't get big off that ramen
need tax cuts from Obama
pantry fulla yams
morning tofu scrambs
got jokes but not a ham
dif strokes for different fam
Diplo to dip low Milian
Dips loans and left with squat
dip down low power squats
can't live off beans alone
Would be just skin n bone
I'm kinda thin and toned
I wanna build and grow
My stomach filled and blown


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