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HELP!!! Mother forcing vegetarianism on me!!!


Nicholas_Weir
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Hello all.

 

So basically last night my mother was saying to me at dinner that I should consider eating dairy and eggs again as she thinks being vegan has turned me into a basket case!

 

I said that thats not the case, but she said that my mood has been a little off and she thinks it has to do with soy milk etc. It was also added that i appear to be run down and tired.

 

My mother then said that that until I am living by myself that it is too difficult for me to be vegan ...get this: because i am excluded from the rest of the family when they have apple pie etc. She said that she doesn't want to have to have heaps of dishes (vegan dishes and non vegan dishes) being made each night.

 

I explained to her how i cannot eat dairy or eggs again as man was not meant to eat it etc. and that i strongly believe in the welfare of the animals and my health.

 

My mother then said that if i were really concerned with my own health that i would start consuming eggs and dairy again.

 

To clarify this more my mother meant that i should not worry about consuming a dessert meal even if it had a bit of butter and or milk, egg etc in it.

 

She thinks that i need to be able to eat their desserts etc, to be social and mingle with them!

 

The conversation eventually lead to honey and i said that i would consume honey to make her happy (i did this to dodge the bullet of having to consume dairy and eggs and am not happy about having to consume honey).

 

I TRULY NEED YOUR HELP!!!

 

 

 

Just to let you guys know I am 17 years old and I finish year 12 in 26 days so i am planning to move out ASAP so i can live vegan without any stress from my mother.

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The best thing you can do is work with your mother to bake things just as delicious with alternative ingredients. Also offer to make your own meals and take this as an opportunity to learn to cook. Back when i first became vegan it was so foreign that doing this was a must.

 

Instead of letting it break your relationship with your mother apart teach her new and interesting things. If she's worried about soy use almond milk. If you have a few bucks pick up cook books to use and let her read. If not print recipes off the internet.

 

My mother got it eventually. No we have the most diverse meals ever on holidays.

 

Work with her not against her.

Edited by ForwardConcern
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thanks fot the feedback so far!

 

ForwardConcern my mother is a chef and she has been cooking meals with vegan alternatives etc for tha past half a year that i have been vegan. I have been cooking my own dinner lately, she said that that is the main problem; that either she has to or i have to make something different for dinner each night. It just doesn't make sense to me!

 

I will try the alternatives to soy milk definately though!

 

Fallen_Horse i definately will buy maple syrup and agave syrup as soon as i get a job again. The reason for my mother wanting me to have honey is so that she doesn't have to buy vegan museli bars and so that my vegetarian sister and my step siblings can have normal museli bars. (Don't you think this is ridiculous considering i don't even eat museli bars).

 

It seems like my mother is just trying to make up excuses for me to stop being vegan.

 

I just want to say thank you again for replying so far!

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Have you tried cooking with her using it as an opportunity for you two to bond?

 

As for honey that's a grey area for vegans... I use to avoid for years. Now i just pick other alternatives when available and if not like if i'm out or I forgot my flask of Agave i pick it over white sugar in my coffee or tea. If I'm starving and there's a granola bar that would be vegan except the honey and nothing else available I don't feel it's the end of the world if I eat it.

 

If it makes life easier and only something small don't beat yourself up over it and just do it. Just do it. Jut make sure she puts in effort to appeal to you from time to time.

 

It's about doing the best you can. If you let it ruin relationships and push yourself too hard you might rubberband in a completely different direction with your diet. I've been Vegan 16 years and seen it happen all to often with others because they didn't take it in stride.

 

So that's my advice work with your mom, concede small things like honey as long as she'll return the favour. And work with her use it as an opportunity to bond.

 

She's right too. Don't eat the same thing every night... Get into food! And start enjoying all the different variants and options out there. Then your food will be your medicine and it won't affect your mood and only be a positive part of life. Check out documentaries about food there's some great ones on the net. Find the less heavy stuff to show her about how terrible our food has become. She will probably find them empowering providing knowledge.

 

Buy her a copy of 'A Diet For A New America'. Read it have her read it.

 

Teach her, accept what she decides to take from it instead of being critical though she may be critical herself and hopefully things will be more positive.

 

Do everything you can to make your choices a positive influence on things (you'll think of ways).

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Have you tried cooking with her using it as an opportunity for you two to bond?

 

As for honey that's a grey area for vegans... I use to avoid for years. Now i just pick other alternatives when available and if not like if i'm out or I forgot my flask of Agave i pick it over white sugar in my coffee or tea. If I'm starving and there's a granola bar that would be vegan except the honey and nothing else available I don't feel it's the end of the world if I eat it.

 

If it makes life easier and only something small don't beat yourself up over it and just do it. Just do it. Jut make sure she puts in effort to appeal to you from time to time.

 

It's about doing the best you can. If you let it ruin relationships and push yourself too hard you might rubberband in a completely different direction with your diet. I've been Vegan 16 years and seen it happen all to often with others because they didn't take it in stride.

 

So that's my advice work with your mom, concede small things like honey as long as she'll return the favour. And work with her use it as an opportunity to bond.

 

She's right too. Don't eat the same thing every night... Get into food! And start enjoying all the different variants and options out there. Then your food will be your medicine and it won't affect your mood and only be a positive part of life. Check out documentaries about food there's some great ones on the net. Find the less heavy stuff to show her about how terrible our food has become. She will probably find them empowering providing knowledge.

 

Buy her a copy of 'A Diet For A New America'. Read it have her read it.

 

Teach her, accept what she decides to take from it instead of being critical though she may be critical herself and hopefully things will be more positive.

 

Do everything you can to make your choices a positive influence on things (you'll think of ways).

 

 

Thanks!

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  • 2 weeks later...
Keen to know how this worked out Nicholas?

 

Has your mum changed her tune at all? Good-luck with Yr 12 as well!

 

 

Thank's!

 

Well I have managed to avoid eating honey at the moment and will continue to do so. Also I have started to make Pastas and have made an effort to tie in my meal with theirs, i.e. if they are having roast beef and veggies I will prep and cook the roasted veggies on a big tray for the both of us, it seems to be working well. My mum was just pissed that I was never at the dinner table with them, or when I was I would always be late as I was cooking a completely different dish to theirs. But Now I am always there on time. Despite this my mother is still trying to get me to eat honey and not worry about it but I just try to avoid her bringing it up and it has worked for me so far ( haven't had any honey ).

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Simply don't eat non vegan meals, it's not that hard. No need to explain yourself either. And I'd suggest washing your own dishes and may be cooking for yourself. Ask her to teach you to cook the vegan foods she knows.

 

Sorry, but I don't think you totally understand what my mother is unhappy with. She isn't happy that I am vegan while I am still growing, as she thinks it is effecting my mood and body as I am still growing. I am not trying to be rude.

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hey, sorry to read this, it can be a really awkward situation.

 

First of all, people go through moody periods, especially during puberty / adolescence, and isn't necessarily related to food in the first place.

 

I can't see the argument for eating dairy / eggs for health, but her point of view is further damaged because she's talking about apple pie - not a health food at all.

 

But, to try to mend the situation, I don't know what else to say beyond what others have said. Be positive about the situation, help her with cooking and washing up and everything else, so that there is no ammunition for her to use.

 

To try to convince her of the healthiness of veganism, perhaps show her some of the profiles from this website, of people who you think she would be impressed by.

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hey, sorry to read this, it can be a really awkward situation.

 

First of all, people go through moody periods, especially during puberty / adolescence, and isn't necessarily related to food in the first place.

 

I can't see the argument for eating dairy / eggs for health, but her point of view is further damaged because she's talking about apple pie - not a health food at all.

 

But, to try to mend the situation, I don't know what else to say beyond what others have said. Be positive about the situation, help her with cooking and washing up and everything else, so that there is no ammunition for her to use.

 

To try to convince her of the healthiness of veganism, perhaps show her some of the profiles from this website, of people who you think she would be impressed by.

 

thanks!

 

Yeah, I showed her some of the profiles but she said that it is healthy when you're finished growing but while you're still growing it isn't a sufficient diet. Also something that doesn't help is that my sister (a year younger than me and former vegen now vegetarian just told my mother about how Soy letchin or something causes espergous syndrome and what not and how soy in general 'attacks the brain'. the article apparently went on to talk about how soy letchin puts the body in a state of ketosis and makes you burn 80% of your fat stores instead of the normal 20% and that this is extremely dangerous for the human body. kidney problems were also linked to soy letchin and soy in general. She then also showed my mother an article which spoke about how tofu can be detrimental for mens health. I think my sister has encouraged my mother which I am really pissed about! Mabye I will go onto a soy free vegan diet soon if that will settle the dispute once and for all.

 

Bottom line now, I have figured out that my mother and sister just don't want me to be vegan

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Simply don't eat non vegan meals, it's not that hard. No need to explain yourself either. And I'd suggest washing your own dishes and may be cooking for yourself. Ask her to teach you to cook the vegan foods she knows.

 

Sorry, but I don't think you totally understand what my mother is unhappy with. She isn't happy that I am vegan while I am still growing, as she thinks it is effecting my mood and body as I am still growing. I am not trying to be rude.

 

I do:) All women want action, not talk. And attitude. You may be Ronnie Coleman but if you don't help in the house, there's probably something wrong with you. As a fitness professional, I know how extremely hard it is to convince people in things that they do not care about. Only results and action help! Therefore, help with the house (this means you are in perfect health), ask her to teach you how to cook something vegan (social moment that she will enjoy). Convincing someone that veganism is healthier is very hard. It means changing their life. How you wake up, what books you read ... Don't scare her, people don't want to change, especially after 25. And you are her boy, she wants to take care about you. Teaching you something like cooking would make her feel that she has done something for you and she will be proud with her boy.

Apart from this, do not let anyone, especially relatives, influence you. And in this world, you can make only yourself happy. You can help people but just to give them a lift off from time to time. Otherwise they will either feel pushed too hard or will grow dependent on you - either case is counterproductive for happiness.

You can, of course, tell her to go to hell but I don't think you want to treat her this way, therefore I'm suggesting the above

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Simply don't eat non vegan meals, it's not that hard. No need to explain yourself either. And I'd suggest washing your own dishes and may be cooking for yourself. Ask her to teach you to cook the vegan foods she knows.

 

Sorry, but I don't think you totally understand what my mother is unhappy with. She isn't happy that I am vegan while I am still growing, as she thinks it is effecting my mood and body as I am still growing. I am not trying to be rude.

 

I do:) All women want action, not talk. And attitude. You may be Ronnie Coleman but if you don't help in the house, there's probably something wrong with you. As a fitness professional, I know how extremely hard it is to convince people in things that they do not care about. Only results and action help! Therefore, help with the house (this means you are in perfect health), ask her to teach you how to cook something vegan (social moment that she will enjoy). Convincing someone that veganism is healthier is very hard. It means changing their life. How you wake up, what books you read ... Don't scare her, people don't want to change, especially after 25. And you are her boy, she wants to take care about you. Teaching you something like cooking would make her feel that she has done something for you and she will be proud with her boy.

Apart from this, do not let anyone, especially relatives, influence you. And in this world, you can make only yourself happy. You can help people but just to give them a lift off from time to time. Otherwise they will either feel pushed too hard or will grow dependent on you - either case is counterproductive for happiness.

You can, of course, tell her to go to hell but I don't think you want to treat her this way, therefore I'm suggesting the above

 

 

Wow, thank's Duncan! I will not give up now

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How old are you? I'm 15 and parents as well are still desperately trying to put me back on eggs and fish :/ Something about omega fatty acids for brain health. Also, where I am, the easiest source of vegetable protein to attain is from soy and beans, and I eat lots of tofu, soaked, raw soy beans and drink soy milk o.O Haven't felt anything detrimental.... yet.

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I take one of these every day. http://www.ovega.com. You can get Omega 3 from flax etc, however the type Omega 3 you need for brain health is DHA and EPA. Found in oily fish yes... but where do the fish get it from? Algae!

 

The type of Omega 3 in flax is ALA, which is the pre-cursor to EPA & DHA. However our bodies aren't very good at this conversion (pretty poor in fact). If you can afford a supplement, it's a better way to go!

 

DHA and EPA are essential for brain function, including mood!

Edited by Vegercize
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Ahah! Thanks for the replies. I had heard of flax before and told my parents about it, but they said something about how some people don't absorb it as well as others (What Vegercize said), and it isn't very good in the first place. But I'll definitely look into algae!

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Other posters have given great advice so I'll just add a tip I use. Sometimes I just don't want to tell people why I don't eat meat, dairy, eggs, honey etc. so I just tell them I don't like some flavor or non-vegan item in it. If its a cranberry granola bar with honey in it I'll tell them I'm not a fan of cranberries, if its potato salad I tell them I don't like onions. People accept that and I get to eat my veggies, beans or whatever in peace.

 

Good luck!

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Other posters have given great advice so I'll just add a tip I use. Sometimes I just don't want to tell people why I don't eat meat, dairy, eggs, honey etc. so I just tell them I don't like some flavor or non-vegan item in it. If its a cranberry granola bar with honey in it I'll tell them I'm not a fan of cranberries, if its potato salad I tell them I don't like onions. People accept that and I get to eat my veggies, beans or whatever in peace.

 

Good luck!

 

 

Cool thanks, good idea!

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Since she is so sure eggs and dairy will make you healthy, have her watch "Forks Over Knives" and/ or read "The China Study." These show the negative health effects of a non-plant-based diet, esp one including dairy. It's a powerful doc. She will understand your health reasons for not consuming animal products.

You can take flax seed oil and DHA capsules. You guys can research vegan supplements together.

 

Also, get substitutes for eggs, butter, milk. Vegweb.com has thousands of vegan recipes and about every substitution imaginable. Cook with her some nights-- show her how easy it is to veganize many dishes-- esp apple pie! Find lots of great vegan recipes, fix them with her for Vegan Night for the family. Wash your own dishes.

 

Your veganism can help you two bond-- then your mother will view your food choices in a positive light. Now, she is seeing them as separating you from the family and making you unhealthy. Change the way she views them and change her attitude about them.

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