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 Post subject: A strange request
PostPosted: Sat Jun 22, 2013 6:29 pm 
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Manatee
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Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2007 6:53 am
Posts: 250
Location: Virginia
My family has bothered me about veganism literally since before I was born

I honestly don't believe they are the same species

They ruin my night to the best of their ability like rabid wolves when I am in the kitchen preparing my food or something similar

They piece together their lifestyles around attempting to bother me for being vegan
at least, from my perspective

I'm 30, jobless, in North Va. and am in need of someone vegan's assistance in providing me a place to move to

I'll go anywhere in USA/Canada just to leave these 'family' members behind
without telling them goodbye

I'm willing to get a job in whatever town wherever you are and begin supporting myself.
I'd try that here, and make my own living without moving out first but I feel that this is an emergency.

Thank you for reading this, and please respond

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 Post subject: Re: A strange request
PostPosted: Sun Jun 23, 2013 6:26 pm 
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Joined: Fri Mar 17, 2006 10:23 pm
Posts: 3205
Welcome to the forum. What was your name? Why is it that you are currently unemployed and why is it that you feel you need to run far away from your family in order to find a new job? I'm sure you can get some good tips on living a healthy lifestyle here in this forum. The job thing, I don't know. You can try posting in the regional section or something. You will have much better luck if you focus on something though. A certain area you would like to live and a certain type of job you are looking for. Probably other sites like idealist.org will be better to search for new employment that here on VBBF.

Best of luck,

Dylan


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 Post subject: Re: A strange request
PostPosted: Sun Jun 23, 2013 8:13 pm 
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Manatee
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Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2007 6:53 am
Posts: 250
Location: Virginia
My name's John

I'm unemployed because I just dropped out of college for the 2nd time. I was a watercolorist that wanted to get a job as a 3d artist for video games. I travelled across the country for classes at Gnomon in Hollywood, where everyone is an elitist with an IMDB profile and will rip you to shreds for having dignity.
I began to have concerns for my sanity as their critiques were harsh and dealt with on a daily basis. It was the last straw when I was mocked by a sculpting teacher for needing information regarding a list of items needed in a hardware store.. I had become convinced that my artwork portfolio was too inferior to get accepted into any decent art school, so transferring to the lowest of the low was a desirable route - Full Sail University in Florida. I was fed the car salesman-like "you're good enough, you're in" (despite there being no actual portfolio requirement) attitude and their marketing had really convinced me that they weren't fisher price - even when I could tell they were.
3 months into this program I would have left from how awful it was except I had read a rumor that you owe the entire $80,000 tuition after the 3rd month so I stuck around only because I thought I was screwed. By the 7th month I was laughing nonstop at how stupid the program was. A teacher insulted me to my face for 'being rude' by using prismacolors that were in a supply cabinet, since apparently they were 'obviously not my property' (previous classrooms had same cabinets with open-fare supplies). At this point I was intensely upset, incapable of caring that I might owe all $80,000 of the tuition if I left immediately. I spent the past few months moving back in with my parents. The moment I moved in I went to my favorite comfort-food spot, a vegetarian restaurant named Sunflower (Vienna Va) and in their presence I decided that I should go vegan again immediately.

My family welcomed me home with open arms and when I went vegan they began acting like they had rabies. They are like a cult of BS. My brother is the main admitting source of this harassment, and the rest of them act like nothing's wrong with how he treats me. This is abusive. I no longer respect them. Eating in the kitchen is like being murdered. I'm beginning to consider suicide as an option.

It's only been a month.

I've begun taking bass lessons and I can't afford to continue after this week unless I get a job. I'm returning to my roots by returning to music. I practice for hours every day. I was hoping to just do this until I was good enough to play in a band for my income. They have been borderline broke for the past few weeks because of my Sister's wedding. At least that's what they tell me. Considering they were paying $850 for an apartment and $200/week for living expenses up until when I left the school it's hard to believe that the only way I can survive beyond scraping by is by conforming to some social standards, finding a job etc. whenever I'm suddenly not living up to that standard with a school program.

I've talked to another vegetarian about their experiences and their family doesn't treat them like this. I'm jealous that there is such thing as a non-veg family out there that doesn't act like they have rabies.

My mom knows that my ability to find a job is practically nonexistent. I've only had two jobs ever and they were via family recommendations. I honestly don't believe there is such thing as a job that I can find. But I do think I'd have better chances when my mind is not tortured every night. Perhaps though that is enough of a reason to not have any faith that I'd pull my own weight anywhere I went. Oh well, this is the best I can do

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 Post subject: Re: A strange request
PostPosted: Tue Jun 25, 2013 12:48 am 
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Manatee
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Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2012 8:08 am
Posts: 253
Location: Melbourne
Sorry to hear about your situation.

Why did you go vegan exactly? I assume you've told your family the reasons, and if they are not willing to listen, then so be it. It must be hard with them in the same household! In terms of a job, can you work in retail at all to get a little bit of money coming in?

Also, other than watercolourist, what are your other interests? There are many courses you can take online for free now at places such as coursera.org, perhas you can take some courses here which could help lead to a job.

Left field option, busk?

Hope you get a break soon!

Jub

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 Post subject: Re: A strange request
PostPosted: Tue Jun 25, 2013 2:22 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jun 13, 2013 2:45 pm
Posts: 10
I feel you man, been there so many times myself, I didn't drop out of college but I finished college in 2006 doing I.T. then again in 2012 doing engineering, didn't lead to shit. How is your social life, friends etc? Do you have a good support network outside your own family?


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 Post subject: Re: A strange request
PostPosted: Tue Jun 25, 2013 2:27 pm 
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Manatee
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Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2007 6:53 am
Posts: 250
Location: Virginia
Not really

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 Post subject: Re: A strange request
PostPosted: Tue Jun 25, 2013 6:50 pm 
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Rabbit

Joined: Thu Jun 13, 2013 2:45 pm
Posts: 10
Any luck on gum tree looking for flat/house shares?
If you've only ever had two jobs then fill in any gaps on the C.V. by listing stores/pubs that shut down recently so they can't get a reference. It's much better than a gap even if they can't get a reference. I think you can find a job you seem smart, try going into bars and offering a work trial and they can decide to keep you on if you're alright. How about agency work? I know it's crap but they do give you some not bad jobs when they find you're reliable. I know someone who got an office job inputting data that way and ended up to be a manager. but yeah living in that toxic household sounds so stressful. Hey least you're not a cow stuck getting milked, drugged up and beat every day. Sorry I know that doesn't help, just trying to lighten your situation man.

If I was living in USA/Canada, owned a company or worked I'd love to help you out, I guess there is nothing I can do to help you, that sucks :( Add me on skype if you fancy a chat or anything when shit hits the fan, I'm in the same crap myself.


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 Post subject: Re: A strange request
PostPosted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 9:50 pm 
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VBB Moderator Powerlifter & Ultrarunner
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All the best with everything, I am sure it will all work out okay in the end although probably hard to see that right now. Take care and stay positive MF.

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 Post subject: Re: A strange request
PostPosted: Fri Jun 28, 2013 12:14 pm 
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Rabbit

Joined: Fri Jan 11, 2013 9:15 pm
Posts: 64
Location: Minnesota
Anybody can get a job. You just can't have the mentality that some jobs are beneath you. If that's the only job you can get it's actually the only job you qualify for. People only want to know that you are a hard worker. If you work at a minimum wage job for a few years you can easily move up to a better job. However if you have absolutely nothing on your resume an employer is going to question your work ethic.

My dad forced me... I mean "taught" me how to get a job when I turned 16. I had to go to every goddamn place I can think of that will give me an application and fill it out and return it. Follow up in a week or 2 and ask for a manager. You'll have a job in about a week or 2 guaranteed. There's nothing wrong with minimum wage. I admire all the cashiers and stock boys a lot more than someone who is too lazy to work.

As for finding a place to live. After you have a job getting into subsidized housing is pretty easy. Either that or find a roommate.

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 Post subject: Re: A strange request
PostPosted: Sun Jun 30, 2013 11:51 pm 
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Joined: Wed Dec 31, 1969 7:00 pm
Posts: 3072
Location: Waukesha, WI
Emrys wrote:
Anybody can get a job.


This. Is. True.

You wouldn't believe how many jobs there are in my area that open up, the problem that most employers are reporting is that

A) People applying that are below the age of 25 tend to have terrible social skills (raised on TV and internet, not taught how to look someone in the eye and speak clearly)

And

B) People come in expecting to be treated like they're applying for CEO when they're applying for entry-level positions, which of course rubs employers the wrong way and puts you to the bottom of the candidates in a hurry.

Before I go on, I do NOT recommend lying on an application. Employers can easily go back and check on W2s from taxes to find out if you're being honest or not, and is it REALLY worth throwing away opportunities just to try and bump yourself up one rung in the chain of command somewhere? Sure, that worked well about 20+ years ago, but these days, it's WAY too easy for employers to dig deep, and many of them will do just that. Better to simply be honest, let them know you've spent a lot of time at school, and that because of that factor you don't have a lot of work history. It'll get you further than being dishonest.

There are many jobs out there, but let's face it, VERY few people get to live comfortably doing what they love, so you may have to put your feelings of "being above" something in your back pocket and take something that doesn't sound interesting at first (but, you may love it in the end - I worked in a China/Crystal/Flatware replacement service for 2 years and next to running my own business, it was my favorite job of all, though I hated the first month!) Sometimes great opportunity comes from putting yourself out there in a new situation, and again, you may just find that something which sounded boring and uninteresting ends up a job you look forward to going to every day, stranger things have happened.

Again, a lot of what Emrys said is very true. We employers have interviewed hundreds, if not THOUSANDS of applicants over the course of time in our businesses, and we can ferret out when someone comes in thinking that the job isn't really good enough for them, that it may be "too demanding", that it doesn't give enough perks on day one, or something else that makes us think "If they REALLY don't care about getting the job, why the hell did they show up in the first place?!?" You have to act like you REALLY want it, and follow up on it - I had one place that I had to call for a month straight before they finally filled the position, I was just a hair shy of getting it, but they put me through the wringer for weeks on end as it paid $3.50/hour more than any other unskilled work out here, and in 1993, the difference between making $8.50 and $12.50 with benefits and lots of upward mobility potential was BIG for someone like me. But, if I hadn't kept persisting and letting them know I really, really wanted it, I guarantee I wouldn't have been in contention for nearly as long as I was. My wife has applied places in the past where she went through 3-4 interviews before they finally said "We gave it to someone else", and she had to fight back then to keep getting to the next step. I think things are a bit easier now because sadly, employers have had to drop their expectations considerably in light of new attitudes toward work where too many people seem to feel they're entitled to what they WANT when hired vs. what the job is WORTH, so as long as you make sure you're cleaned up (do NOT be like the meth heads that applied here once who came in looking like they'd just smoked up in their car prior to walking through my front door), practice answering questions enthusiastically, be prepared to talk yourself up WITHIN REASON (i.e. sound confident, but not boastful or above anything that they say the job may entail), be pleasant, and again, FOLLOW UP, of which I recommend checking back 3 days later, then a week later if you do not hear back from them, and again the following week if they do not say the position has been filled.

I was a late bloomer for getting myself out in the working world - I have some "interesting" stories about how many jobs I walked off of as a surly 18-21 year old because I thought I was too good for them, only to realize that in the end, those were all I was qualified for at the time and I was just kidding myself about my belief in some sort of personal greatness that I possessed that made me feel like I was better than that stuff. NOTHING makes you more humble and teaches lessons like getting down in the trenches and getting your hands dirty doing something you never thought you'd do, even if it's for a few months, you'll definitely get something out of it.

I certainly wish you the best of luck/success in getting out there and making the changes that will make you happier. Sometimes its easy to stick in a comfortable (but crappy) rut because it's what you know, but the good stuff out there in the unknown is always WAY better than the garbage you deal with that makes you feel bad. Just remember, the world ain't always going to be friendly, and you're going to have to resolve yourself that there will always be people who will nitpick veganism, what you wear, what you look like, what music you listen to, or something inane or beyond your control. Gotta learn to let it roll off you, because as one who used to take it all in and bottle it up until I was too depressed to get out of bed for a week straight, it's no way to live letting the world eat you alive bit by bit. Resolve to make yourself happy first and foremost, regardless of what support you have in others, and fight hard to find that happiness your own way. Best thing you'll ever do.

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