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Comedy Battle


Guest Co
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So me and Rap was talking. While we were walking we chatted about you fake emcees. Rob and bar fly c. Best believe it was a hard come to peace with the beast that infected lyrically sewn like body-sleves, stitches, and Rap told me you two was nothing but a bunch a' bitches. But I told Rap, hold up these are my homeboys and in the hopes of happening to hault his heated head I handed him a hieneken and toasted to the dead. Revren run it was good while it lasted and when I think grime i think old dirty bastard. and back when many girls couldnt rock mics and rhyme I give props to lady d, shandy and left eye.

And me and Rap remenissed about the way it was, before drugs, well at least before it was bad to do drugs. And before thugs, back when rhyme was all impressin' them ladies. Then Rap reminded me that I was diapered in the 80's. I was like yo Rap you know i keep it tight, Rap just laughed and reminded me that I was white. So I dropped a hot verse and cursed Rap's name in spite, and reminded him of how he's been sold out for life.

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While you was talkin ta rap I was conversin wit hiphop, assertive perv and notorios pick pock, he told me rap done, finger caught the slipnot, there can only be one, persuasive way ta spit thought.

I thought about it then turn and look calm, them that oppose churn mic tight wit sweaty palm, you thought you were impressive please save a pipe bomb, these dudes need a lesson session in agressive fight songs.

Trust ya first instinct, bow down man-clown ain't no room for lipsinc, besides breath prove ya lips stink, everybody knew you and Milli Vanilli suck tha tube steak. Oh jeez it's almost August, sorry ta hafta thump ya, thoughts must be Arduous. Remember lifes like ya mother, a sloppy slit, saggy tit, b*tch who loved my member.

 

Brang it!

 

Bar Fly C-

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I just had an online Rap Battle with Co on AOL Instant Messenger, and here is what I think about it:

 

Co:

 

You think you're fast, but you just got knocked down from my shotgun blast. You thought you was quick but when we battled online you found out I was slick, dropping you like a girl who is thick, landing on a pile of bricks, like a red-nosed clown you got juggled by my tricks.

 

I love the instant battle on AOL IM, anyone faster at rapping than I am? You was left with your right foot in your mouth, Cheeke is what they're all talkin about.

 

Size 13 tattooed to yo face, get off the tracks you can't keep pace, we all know you've lost this rap battle race. You can be a menace like Dennis and your best line was the one about tennis, serving me up 40-love, only thing to save me is the white peace dove.

 

We gotta battle online again, give my dogg Co a chance to win. Within seconds we're witty, our keyboards typing the words our tongue is spitting. Gotta be instant, not pooping your pants like an infant. Not time to think, just spit it fast and hope your sh*t doesn't stink.

 

I'll admit you was funny like Yo Sammity Sam and Bugs Bunny, but you seldom tell a story, just rhyming words your mouth dispenses turds. I rap from the heart and I hope you felt it, you talk out of your ass and I smelt it, it was you who dealt it, but now you'll get dealt wit, a pile of poop on your head and I melt it. I bust a trey in yo face like Bird on the Celtics.

 

I don't mean to be so aggressive, I'll start writing more friendly rhymes which is much more impressive. Anyone can talk smack and turn their words and rhymes into a verbal attack. So I'm turning over a new leaf, no more telling you to eat my vegan beef.

 

I'm starting to think readers might get offended, my words I'm always defending, to much time on that I'm spending so understand kind words is what I'll be sending, funny stories with endings still pending.

 

Much respect, same red blood, Co outta Potelawn and the Vegan Bodybuilding Stud. Time for me go make my potatoes and eat my spud.

 

I'll catch you next time on the same rap station, welcoming you all to my lyrical vacation.

 

Keegan The Vegan

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Rob's rap about wrestling and C's flow on hip hop were truely enlighting but both of ya'll were just biting me! Straight line for line with a piece of CO's beliefs stuck in ya teeth. You need to work on originality. everything you think well its starts from me, your so called freestyles come from my flows you read. you need to proceed with some dignity. Im elephant titus ya'l are pig-imies. Not to try and front like your enemies. But who are these biters who befriended me. I lended them a hand not the whole damn sleave. Every time I drop a line your there to capture and retrive. how I do this style is a mystery. And I'm anticipating you'll be dissin' me. But this said and done its history. And Im sure you'll both attack lackin' integrity. And steal my ideas to disasemble me please you cant touch these nuts friendilies!

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Its obvious who runs this post wippersnappers I drop the candor to show you blibber blabbers all that matters. I'll show you pretty boys rhymes of dapper, to dampin your parade cuz ya'll stink like ronin's diaper hamper. For you that don't know fly c's a father, and a good one, its too bad he can't emcee like he be a dad. Its too bad he can't match wits wit' his lad. Its too bad c-money can't add. Its too bad no bets on this battle do the math, the skrill i coulda made off your mistakes is so sad. Its too bad I must repeat to get it through your thick skulls, too bad I'm battlin' a sad bunch a' numbskuls.

 

 

bringededit

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  • 2 weeks later...

“Me and Rap was talking” is one of my favorite lines I’ve ever heard you squaking. I say it loud when I’m at work just walking, people look at me with their faces gawking, like I’m walking with a gun in my hand and I’m cocking, but I’m just talking and stopping at the door that I’m locking.

 

Folks stare and mimic my rap that their mocking, I look at the time on my wrist that I’m clocking. I turn around and it’s your stop kick that I’m blocking. Let’s get back to the club that we’re rockin, Cheeke and Co in the house and we walk-in, and drop it, like it’s too hot to stop it, a game of freestyle tag and I’m not it….Oh man did I said tag, I’m meant freestyle rap, big chains, and watches and backwards hats; fast cars, dancing girls at bars, and chillin with Hollywood stars.

 

It all started from being funny, and led to these hunnies and playboy bunnies rubbing my tummy. We went from comedy to rap and I’m not looking back, but I know you stand-up, time for me to man-up and get back on the stage, not acting my age, turning over my career page, raising my wage, breaking out of this cage, I’m the Ace of Spades in our Royal Flush, beating the 4 of a kind, they ain’t seen nothin like the two of us.

 

Comedy or rap, it’s like a teeter-totter, like an otter jumping in and out of the water; hard to decide which is hotter, so why even bother, just do both and don’t choose, I got nothing to loose, I’ll be the comedy rapper, the funny white cracker, the lyrical stand-up master, wearing clown shoes carrying a ghetto blaster, spitting words faster than a natural disaster.

 

I’ve made a lot of jokes about being number 1, but bottom line is none of my songs have ever been sung. I just rhyme and I rap and I keep coming back, I’m done talking smack, and I’m off my attack, I’m just here to take all the rhymes off the rack, stuff them in a sack and take them to a studio and put them on a 12-song track.

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This is a late night to get your brain right I gain might mighty when I boss tones around loud megaphone sounds I impound all emcees who park lyrics illegally feebly try to smoke me like hickory dont dickory me around doc. I got more lines than a liar like oh whatta crock. dont let CO interact like dont let a black cat cross your path, superstitious folk feel me legless rabbits believe, see-

Of course your favorite line is one I wrote and when you write your rap book you best include a CO foot note. And in the contents include my presence and in the index a blurb on how you sweat CO's shit. And in the page about the author dont even bother it should be me anyway put my damn face on the book cover.

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The thread was dead, it's time to fill you with dread and perhaps bread. The shadow of said thread will spread and disperse, I stole your mum's purse, I leave you in a hearse because you didn't rehearse, you have your priorities reversed. Diverse and dynamic, you start to panic, ninja on the rooftops your heart-beat goes manic. You think you saw a ghost, not sure what you saw, I jump down behind you, you turn round in awe. Before you can do shit, my blade is unleashed, capeesh? So hand over your candy, I'm real handy - with my sword of awesomeness, you have a lack of resourcefulness. You stumble and fumble, you don't actually have candy. Your excuses annoy me, you turn round and flee. You thought the guitar was just an instrument, what a predicament, you will learn about ridiculement*. I turn it on its side, mechanical parts slide, electrical ninja cannon, what a surprise. I launch the harpoon, it catches your spine. I will dine on your candy it will all be mine. I draw you in and search your body. You don't have candy, this is shoddy. I summon the ninja spirits to reincarnate you, they do, I rule, this is fuel for the fool who wants to duel with a ninja. I give you the finger. And all that.

 

 

 

 

*not actually a word

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Thanks Richard for poppin in and droppin a spell. stoppin in, lockin a rhyme and floppin it well. Sounds to me C.A.N.D.Y.'s an ongoing story you tell. you Can't Anticipate Nothing Dylan Yells, oh well. I wont fault your ridiculement cuz your ass can't spell. But your a ridic short for rediculous use the slang dict. the shit works well. I rock rhymes similar to LL rockin a bell. along with rockin bar bells and an-imal free hair gel. I had to get back to the sites subject. Robs cause best interest involved keep it perfect. The webs got knowledge to delve gotta surf it. Always end up on this site anyway cuz its worth it.

 

Respect to anyone working towards what they believe in, whatever that maybe. Vegans, bodybuilders, whomever.

 

And Richard thanks for adding to our post, post some more its mostly just 3 of us in here.

 

CO

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I was a ninja before I was born. Before dawn I stretch and yawn. My day begins, I go out to the lawn. I practice hadokens, backflips and shoryukens. You'd be puking if you tried reproducing my daily routine, I'm tougher than the A-team. I'm shorter than I might seem in my online images, but my determination and actual ninja magic never diminishes. Popeye eats spinaches, but I eat rice, it's pleasant and nice, which mean the same thing. I used two words when one would do, after I eat, I go and do a poo. In the toilet obviously, not in the kitchen. Sometimes I get caught short and have to use the dustbin. Enough of that, although it's fact, I made an impact, by talking about cack. You think it's wack, but I think it's awesome. Boresome is Dawson's Creek, I hate Dawson. His forehead is big, and his legs are like twigs. I'd suplex his ass and force-feed him figs. That might seem irrelevent, but he is allergic*. Back on topic, I eat rice too quick. My guts get overloaded and I sometimes feel sick. After lunch I return to my ninja sacred duties. I cut down fools who are stood staring at boobies. I take their candy, their wallets and shoes. I give shoes to the poor and make headlining news. I give back their wallets once I took their money. I donate it to charity because I'm in a hurry to make a difference, even if it means stealing candy, I fancy my chances against drunken bums who want to try me. But not anyone who knows what the score is. I'd get bitch-slapped by Michael Cole, even he'd wipe the floor with my ass or my face, I'm really a disgrace, but at least I have the grace to admit when I'm wrong. I'm torn and defeated, seated and deleted, but one day I'll be useful, and not be depleted.

 

 

*to figs

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Duh, duh, ninja, wank, wank.

 

Li'l Ninja: What you got against drunken bums son?

 

You just made an enemy of Bar Fly C, please believe skill spills my spit drip completely unscripted leaven you shit ripped and seized.

Knees all covered in feces, ninja species teased sexually pleased greased geese and fiends, equipment under conscripment leans clean leaven disease by the seen.

What this means???

Well, you see...

I know your steize Bruce prepubescent Lee, tryin ta rhyme free at all of thirteen.

I know things seem weird and you think that you're feared, but your body is changing you'll most likely be queer.

So mind your yapper next time you chat hear, and will keep you around despite your wack *lyr.

 

*(Lyrics) Duhhuh! Duhhuh!

 

Bar Fly C-

 

Brang It!

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Drunken bums are the only guys I can beat, they trip over their feet, they can't compete. I'd be in too deep against a guy who was sober, it'd be over for me quicker than you can get a boner. I don't start fights unless it's for candy. I leave people to their own shit, if they drink that's fine and dandy. It's not like I have a grudge, unless they have vegan fudge, because that shit is mine, I eat all the candy I can find.

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Well sonny lad I drink like a passing fad, still shootin rhymes make you leap like like my Cutty tab.

While candy sound cool, somewhere round kinder school, I quickly found booze as my life supporting tool.

I might be a whino, jesus give rine cold, at least I pleased to read police you rhymes though.

 

Even though I drink don't consider my spitter weak, I'll tear through your flower while you bend in the shower feelin regained power I emerge as you cower, throw fifty bucks, chuck, and be in-time for happy hour. (Wink!) (Wink)

 

Brang-It!

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I thought I had this room locked and keyed til' bar c dropped that line about prepubvesent bruce lee. THought i'd stop by and drop a blibber blab also nice what that line about the cutty tab. My buddy's mad with the gab. You all try and soy "milk" my shit but don't know the half and half. you jokers make me laugh. But if you got beef bring the calf and we'll treat em like a Hindu. Whatch yal into? I've been through and done it all twice spun spliced even had to run from red and blue lights and guns nice but my vice is ways to make the sun rise just from one a' my lines I can stun the rhyme blind take your girls from behind an treat mine dont bother with the wine and dine call em feline and stick it to em like a porcupine.

 

OKay I will admit that is some Polish-ass shit right there.... hahhaha

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Nice rap, but I think it's crap, so you deserve a slap!

You say you take girls from behind, are you sure they don't mind?

If they see your face, their memory is what they wanna erase!

You should treat girls nice, and don't act wise.

If I catch you in the act, your neck will get cracked!

I won't crack it, becouse I am not so strong, but there are enough strong girls on this forum, and having no respect for womens is wrong!

 

So keep this in mind, always ask first if you want to take a girl from behind.

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Sex and City, it's totally shitty, deserves no pitty, in its face I'll spitty. Not technically a word, but neither is your face. I am immune to mace. You can't keep up with my pace. That was lame and so is your ballsack. Mine is too, so I guess that's that jack. Flapjack is tasty, give me your candy. "Flapjack's not candy" you tell me, freaking baby, you're pretty pedantic, your mum wears elastic - waistbands, her hands are like bunches of bananas. I hate farmers. That doesn't rhyme unless you use fine English. Like me. I hate tea. Believe me I hate tea. I said it twice, you can bite - my ass bitch. Now I will tell you about my sitch: It's 2:30am and I'm still wide-awake. I masturbated too early I guess that's a mistake. Now I am wired when I should really be tired. That rhyme was bullshit. I'm a ninja who can do shit. I drank a bottle of water all in one go. An achievement it was and now I'm talking like yo - da. Bitch, I have the higher ground. That movie sucked, I was shouting out 'NOOOOO!' at the end in chorus with Vader. I'd give George Lucas my Ninja Taser to his beardy face. I am immune to mace windu. I'd give Lucas hell, and I'd take his candy as well. Look at his chin. He must eat candy all day, he used to be thin. I saw an old photo where he looked like Rolph Harris. Now he sucks badly he looks more like a walrus.

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Dear Gym I don't disrespect women its not right I only take em from behind when they send an invite. And don't get all mushy this is a battle dont take every word so damn touchy. I don't doubt that you got many women in this forum but I got many women in this form too and I adore em. I'm not mormon if you are take a tip from this sermon bag it up your the leading cause of over population, too many kids, thats when gloves to stop the sperm come in.

And Richard you'll get it soon I got faith in you dude your new but In living color you can do what you want to do.

And Gym whats with the ginny pig? Just for one rhyme about chicks you gimmie shit?

And Fly C whats with the anger against the sober and starting a war you should be happy its just a shorter line to reach the bar.

And Keegan where's your rhymes you been missing for a spell? We started dissin and then your lost like at the bottem of a wishing well.

And me thats right me I'm mad at you too chill out dude what the hell this people do to you? I don't know man I guess I lost my mind in the rhyme. Got caught up in battle seems to happen every time. But why'd you do it don't you ever learn your lesson ? Nah man every situation adds to my not-to-mentions.....

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I am not a Mormon, I am just some Moron.

I deliver a crappy rhyme, but then again, I don't put in much time.

I will not make a kid, cuz if it even looks a bit like me it looks like shit.

As for Richtard the Ninja, I will kick your ass with my Kung Fu, haja!!

You might be immune to mace, but not to my foot in your face.

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all you boys are fo sure shady

can't rap with me cause I'm a lady

you talk you shit like you so big

are those your balls or just a fig

 

yo think yo rhymes be so old school

ha!

my milkshake make you start to drool

only cows 'round here be those girls you callin

it' s me you think of when you ballin

 

No doubt i bring the real ebonics

while richard here is hooked on phonics

you gringos got no ghetto beat

get outta here - ya can't compete

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Co, how am I new? I did a number 2. Don't make me throw it at you. I'm talking about poo. I'm 23 years of age, I am learning to be a mage, of Ninja Special magic, so I can see the future. I cut myself shaving with my sword, now I need a suture. I'm new on this board, but I'm not new to the horde of Ninjas and awesomeness. I am not well-dressed, my socks are infested with dirt and they stink. When I draw I don't use ink. I don't like bat-fink. Just because it's old, doesn't make it 'classic'. Fantastic 4 looks like crap. You owe me flapjack remember, email me, or I'll gitcha. By 'gitcha' I mean 'get you'. But I'm sure that you knew.

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DAmn. You talk about your feces.

You sure we're the same species?

YOu're no ninja, you're a boy

and so clumsy with that toy

 

Cut yourself with your sword?

your just a peasant, not a lord!

 

Watch yoself and yo trash mouth

as your girls be-go-ing south

They been places wit yo mum

with means they full o lots a cum.

 

Oh yeah, you know I got you there -

You and your big afro hair

I knows yous got a thing for sweets

my stylin's, yo, they can't be beat

so, grab your lollipop and cry

this thread is surely bound to die.

 

Here's what's left of the bahtum I promised.

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I just ate a sandwich, my connection has mediocre bandwidth, that almost rhymed, I'm not blind to how shit I am. So fine, talk crap about how I smell like peepee. I will sit in silence and eventually get weepy. I will slowly eat candy and think about my shame. I take the blame you give me, inadequacy is in me. Believe me I am nothing more than a lonely child. My complexion is mild, I think my dad has piles. I'm miles out in the middle of nowhere. I like it when I download shareware. Because it's free. Earlier I did a pee. That was also free. Imagine if they charged a fee. To pee. That'd be ree- diculous. My sword is not fictitious. It's made of metal, not plastic, you think it's drastic to dress as a ninja. Go figure, maybe your life is much bigger and better, but I have nothing better to do, so I dress as a ninja even when I do number 2.

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Now look at Richard, all meek and all mild

Admitting at heart that he’s only a child

Truth be told his last rap was indeed mighty fine

On meat, eggs and dairy he will never dine

 

He eats lots of protein and often eats pasta

But he likes heavy metal and despised Rasta

I ask lots of questions and can’t seem to stop talking

Except for the mornings when I go out-a-walking

 

Even when I am walking I think more conversation

At least I’m not out thinking of masturbation

I know that last rhyme was surely a stretch

Chesty, with her puppy, is bound to play catch.

 

Vegan food fills my tummy and I’m overly happy

When I am done typing, it’s time for my nappy

I am amorous – don’t mistake that for strange

A really bad movie is “home on the range”

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Eating vegan emcees makes me a carnivore don't give me bull I'll rock you like a mat-a-dor you want to battle me the only thing you'll hits the floor its like CO 69 you all zero and thats the score. You want more you cant stand more your ass too sore. Call me columbus in this battle raps Im about to explore actually callin me Cherokee cuz Im a war-e-or and like Eore your find yourselves with missing parts soon as I break apart im off the chart before you start. All your rhymes are just tags mines graphitti art. I'd challenge ya to a test but hey your not that smart. As I dart all you farts and leave you pushing shopping carts homeless picking up cans and I drink more to give you a hand and a handout this mans out whos next to test the title bout you no where to find CO in this message board hang out.

 

-co

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