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Weight and attractiveness...Patterns in your choices...


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STUDY finds connection between hunger and attractiveness! I thought this quite interesting, considering the link between women as a consumptive product and food(esp.meat), as proposed by Carol J. Adams. I think this lends itself as further credence to her assertions, somewhat, at least.

 

I do find the purely biological aspect interesting, though...it seems it is a purely involuntary reaction -- very primitive; similar to how men's attraction to large hips and women's attraction to chiseled features is an innate primitive response to survival and "spreading their seed," (purely subconscious) ensuring their continuity -- as opposed to cultural and societal influences and conditioning...

I would love to know how Adams interprets this in the context of her research.

 

If you have read Adams, (Kat? I think you read some) do you see this tying in to her perspective?

 

I think it's also interesting that part of the reason, according to this study, that Westerners prefer thinner women, is the abundance of food; even if the societal reasons are dominant, it is still provocative as a partial reason. Makes sense, though.

 

It is still a new study, but I wonder what the studies of women and hunger will reveal.

 

I often wonder what attracts people to eachother. (Sometimes the choices seem really odd). Like how there are always (seemingly) patterns to it.

For example, how some people always end up with the same "type" over and over; or how many end with their "mother" or "father."

 

If you look back at all the men/women you've dated/been involved with, what is your pattern? Do they all have a certain characteristic? Father figures? Just like your mother? Losers? Etc. You get the idea

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I think people have a choice to ignore primitive urges such as attraction based on appearances, it's a matter of what people personally care about more and what they're looking for in a partner. Some people have really specific ideas about what they want physicaly, (body shape, height, skin colour, eye colour, hair colour, tone of voice etc), and other people don't know specifically what they want, although they do have just as specific limits they're just not aware of it, there's people who have some discrimination but not much, and there's people who don't care about appearances at all.

 

The sample taken in that survery was only 61 people, and they were all the same age. I don't think that's particularly valuable really, although it's an interesting concept that some shallow people also have their minds changed by how much they've just eaten.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I go very much for a "type", and have probably missed out on some great dating opportunities along the way because of it.

 

I do believe despite what anyone says though, that you have to be physically attracted/interested in someone to want to get to know them more. However, maybe this is where the internet has a plus side. You can actually often get to know someone before actually seeing them physically and this could change your views.

 

My type though is muscular - actually the more muscles the better and if they have some body ink, well thats just heavenly lol

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I do believe despite what anyone says though, that you have to be physically attracted/interested in someone to want to get to know them more.

 

This isn't true of me I don't care about appearances, I'm only concerned with personality and morality really, and you can't tell those things just by looking at someone

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So if you were looking for a date how would you pick who to ask ?

 

Relationships/dating is such a fascinating subject

 

That's not really how I go about it. I meet people through people and talk to them regardless of what they look like, and form a friendship if we get on. If after a long period of time in a friendship it seems like we're a good match, I'd ask them if they wanted a serious relationship. Obviously, going into a pub/club and deciding on who is compatible for a long-term relationship by what they look like will not work, so I don't do that.

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What I find the most sexually attractive is basically a female version of me. That'd be tall with a strong jawline and big nose, large hands. Athletic yet voluptous build, and very fair. Freckles, red hair being best. Er, that does come out looking a lot like my Mom and I did have a girlfriend once that I was worried might have been related to me she looked so much like me and also being from the sticks in WV. LOL. Which I guess is pretty yucky.

 

But anyway I learned (the hard way) not to take that into consideration at all. (Physical characteristics that is.) Really not at all. My wife is pretty much the opposite of most of those preferred characteristics and she knows it and it's fine.

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I go very much for a "type", and have probably missed out on some great dating opportunities along the way because of it.

 

Well, it's good that you know this now . Best thing, in my opinion, is to date a variety of people -- even those not your "type." SOooo many interesting people out there; it's silly to limit oneself from the joy and learning of knowing others different from oneself.

 

 

I do believe despite what anyone says though, that you have to be physically attracted/interested in someone to want to get to know them more. However, maybe this is where the internet has a plus side. You can actually often get to know someone before actually seeing them physically and this could change your views.

 

I agree to an extent. That is, attraction or aesthetics is not an evil thing; I do think it is shallow and will not produce a solid relationship if one bases a relationship on it. There has to be more. Some people jump through hoops for someone because they believe this person is the "best" (looking) they will ever get, and somehow place a high value on that one, silly attribute...Never works out, though.

 

I agree about that plus side of internet "dating," though I have other issues with it . I would rather someone like me/dislike me or contact me/ignore me, based on what I write or my "personality," rather than make a decision based on what I look like. Who wants someone like that anyway??? Am I of more value because I look good? Or am I of lesser value because I'm not attractive? Anyone who makes a decision based on that is NOT someone I would spend any of my time with.

 

My type though is muscular - actually the more muscles the better and if they have some body ink, well thats just heavenly lol

 

Okay, but what type has this brought you? Are you basing your decisions just on that?

What else do you see as a pattern in your type besides looks? Have they all been inconsiderate? Do they all have a cruel streak? Are they all mamma's boys? Are they all super kind and patient? Are they all passive? Are they all generous? What is your pattern?

 

What I find the most sexually attractive is basically a female version of me.

 

 

So basiing on looks would have been a mistake .

 

I am pretty proud of the fact that I have dated a ton of "types" I have made a conscious decision (since I first started dating, by the way) to do so, and I've met GREAT people. I think it's silly to limit oneself. After all, a date is just a date! One doesn't have to get married or commit..it's just a date. Learned that from my dad before I started, actually; he never wanted me to get stuck on one guy...probably a father's fear Great advice, though.

 

It's hard for me to see my pattern, though, as a result . I can definitely see some truths about myself; so that's good; it's just hard facing the truth about oneself sometimes .

And, I still haven't found the right person for me; but it's not an issue, really. I don't look; and if there isn't anyone, that's fine too.

 

ETA: Oh, and as far as physical attractiveness, I also have no "pattern"! If there is one, I guess it would be that there isn't one. I find so many features, qualities attractive. The difference -- or uniqueness, perhaps -- is what I like. I like interesting faces as opposed to cookie-cutter good-looking. Race doesn't matter either, as I've dated so many, especially living in L.A., you can't help but meet so many from everywhere.

As well, many people become physically attractive the more you know them and learn who/what they are...that's the best [/i]

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I can't figure out how to quote relevant bits of text so will just have to type my reply

 

I would never stay dating someone purely because I found them physically attractive, of course there has to be more. If they have no personality it would never get past one date.

 

I am not sure I attract a "type". I like independent, confident men who are happy with who they are. I lean towards outgoing personalities, but thats because I am that way and its nice to interact with someone who is on your wavelength.

 

My mum always says you should enter everything with an open heart and open mind, and its a nice way to see things I guess

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to quote stuff, type in:

 

[quote] text text text [/quote]

 

Hope that helpz

 

or if you want to quote an entire post, then instead of pressing 'Post Reply' you can press 'quote' which is at the top of their message, and then it will put their post as a quote in your post that you're making.

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My mum always says you should enter everything with an open heart and open mind, and its a nice way to see things I guess

 

My mum says the same thing...then she makes sure she approves of who I'm dating...luckily she hasn't had to straighten me out since I was 13 or 14.

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  • 4 weeks later...

When I saw the line about hunger and attraction, I thought you might be talking about what was also stated in The Beauty Myth, that when women's bodies aren't getting enough calories, their interest in sex drops and their interest in food heightens -- typical starvation-mode behaviour.

 

Anyways, I haven't paid enough attention to my patterns of attraction to see if it differs in any way over time; I do know that I prefer more curvy bodies in general, with smaller breasts, and a certain type of facial structure.. that might just be because I'm most attracted to my girlfriend, though. XD

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When I saw the line about hunger and attraction, I thought you might be talking about what was also stated in The Beauty Myth, that when women's bodies aren't getting enough calories, their interest in sex drops and their interest in food heightens -- typical starvation-mode behaviour.

 

Well, that's a topic of interest to be discussed too .

 

 

Anyways, I haven't paid enough attention to my patterns of attraction to see if it differs in any way over time; I do know that I prefer more curvy bodies in general, with smaller breasts, and a certain type of facial structure.. that might just be because I'm most attracted to my girlfriend, though. XD

 

Are there patterns in the personality or character you choose, too?

 

We all make choices based on preference and attraction, and it's interesting to me as to why we do this as well as why we choose certain non-physical characteristics. I wonder how much is innate...or, rather, beyond our control -- sorta just written in the genes (or jeans ), I guess, as opposed to what has been dictated to us AND our particular upbringing, environment, experience, etc. I think it's interesting how some people are attracted to complete opposites (physically too) and others are attracted to familiarity. The reasons are so diverse.

 

I heard or read a psychologist say that we choose our mates to work out issues stemming from what we didn't get from our parents. I guess sort of like the old saying that we choose our "mother" or "father," but with a twist

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