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Finbarrio's Blog: Truth mongering


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I'm not coming around - that would have meant that I was somewhere else to start with, which I wasn't, as far as I know.

 

I broke the fork on my squish. I'm not sure of the exact moment that I broke it, but it's a tiny little part in the rebound-damping system that is broke, and yet it makes the fork unrideable. And I don't know if I can get a replacement part or not. Pretty f-ed up. So I'll be on my SS until I get the fork fixed, if it's even fixable. Rode SS today and it was glorious. It's such an accurate bike - it goes exactly where I want it, through whatever gnarly sections. It's like cutting the trails with a scalpel. My squish is like cutting the trails with a spoon.

 

Going snowboarding monday and tuesday for probably the final time this season Should be awesome in the AM, and a little sloppy in the PM, but we'll still have fun.

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Yesterday was a big sign of winter being over for good for me. I saw the first snake of the year...and today I saw four on the road so I'm packing up the winter gear for good

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Yesterday was a big sign of winter being over for good for me. I saw the first snake of the year...and today I saw four on the road so I'm packing up the winter gear for good

 

Jeesh - as if redneck drivers weren't hard enough to avoid, you gotta watch out for snakes?

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Just back from snowboarding. One ok day, one awesome day. It was slushy, no doubt, but the mountain was empty so Kristy and I could haul ass down the slopes pretty much all day. And the bare and soft spots made it more of a challenge. I have a funny video of Kristy taking a spill - hope she lets me post it.

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Had a "front porch" gig Wed night. Kind of like an open mic deal. Lot of people from work showed up. I played and sang really well I think. The sound system was really nice, so as soon as I started I felt good. Everyone else sounded good too. Good night of original music.

 

I'm on my SS until my squish's fork gets fixed. did about 15 mi last night with an expert racer. He's on a custom SS 29er - sweet ride. we did a decent pace -- he's cool not to drop me. My back is getting a bit stronger each time out, so I hope that soon it won't be an issue.

 

Group ride tonight, road ride tomorrow AM, then a "fun" group mtb ride. Then a group mtb ride sunday. Oh, and some yard work, hanging with my friends, hiking with the dogs, sleeping, eating - you know, stuff to fill in the time between rides.

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Rode all weekend, hiked with the dogs, did part 1 of my 4 part spring yard cleaning project. So a good weekend all around.

Took monday off, played soccer tuesday, rained hard wed, rode 15 mi thurs, 15 more today (trounced a guy who wouldn't stop talking about how great he is).

I love the singlespeed - incredible workout. I've lost about 7-8 lbs in the last 3 weeks riding that thing. And I can see myself getting ripped up a bit too. Gotta start eating a bit more though - don't want to lose too much.

Man, being vegan frickin' rules! Not that I have to tell y'all that.

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  • 2 months later...

There are some theories out there about the evolution of consciousness. Some say that humans are currently in a stage of "power" consciousness, whereby we are obsessed with controlling and exuding power over others. The next stage of human consciousness would be one quite different - an "ethics" consciousness, where compassion and love rule the day and displays of power and control over another are revolting.

 

This theory make a lot of sense to me. It seems definite that there are many people obsessed with power and control in this world. But it seems like every day I see the ethics consciousness challenging that. More and more people becoming veggie/vegan, eating organic food, buying fair trade items, advocating for the poor, for gay rights, the list goes on. While it'd be nice to live in a world where ethics was more prevalent, I'm definitely glad I'm contributing to the evolution of this consciousness.

 

The evolution of our species seems much bigger and more important to me than any religion or political system. In fact, but for their hold on the majority of people in this world, those seem almost trivial in comparison.

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Ego.

Ego.

Ego.

 

How many of our decisions/attitudes/emotions are direct products of our egos? "I took that job because it's a good career move, and now I'll be able to afford that Lexus "; "I deserve that promotion more than him"; "I hate that arrogante jerk!" -- all of these can be tied directly back to a desire to inflate or defend our ego.

 

Our egos are carefully nurtured from early on as we're taught to be better, to get ahead, to exert our power over others. This literally warps our sense of reality - we see reality from the viewpoint of our ego, rather than as simply an observer of the happenings of life. The ego viewpoint sparks emotions in us that don't match the reality of a situation.

 

Think about some decisions and emotions you made or had recently. Maybe you applied for a new job, got in an argument, felt cheated or spurned by someone. How did it tie back to your ego? If you took ego out of the equation, how might you have decided or reacted differently? How would that have affected your attitude?

 

Get pissed off at someone in traffic? Is it because they were impeding on your precious progress? There's ego! Think about how your ego prompted your reaction and affected your attitude.

 

So maybe you start to get a hold on how YOUR ego affects YOUR attitude or decisions. Now consider that others are also driven by their egos. Let's say your coworker gets pissed at you for an invalid reason. If you take your ego out of the equation, and then resign yourself to the fact that it's likely THEIR ego at the root of the problem, how might you react differently? Will you be calmer than you otherwise might have been? I know I would. And then invariably the person will see the err in their ways - and either apologize, or spiral deeper into the ego abyss. Either way, you'll move on with a clearer sense of what really happened, and a satisfaction that you handled the situation well.

 

Ego can often be a hindrance to happiness. It can ignite negative emotions inside of us, or puff us up with false pride so that we make decisions NOT based on how it will affect our happiness, but how it will "make us look." Try to remove ego from your path, and see if it results in a calmness, a clearing of your viewpoint and intuitive abilities, and a general enhanced sense of contentment.

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  • 1 month later...

Liberals Conservatives

Liberatives Conserverals

Libservatives Conerals

 

They're all the same; without the other, each would cease to exist.

They need each other to survive.

They need each other's pet issues to thrive.

They need the media to keep them alive.

They need religion to choose a side.

They don't care about you - they care about their own power.

 

It's our Coliseum - we yell when our side loses, yell when our side wins, we yell no matter what, because what we're yelling is "MORE!"

And so the issues persist with no progress.

And the sides dig in deeper, thankful for our enabling.

 

How much longer will we let this go on?

When will we un-pause this program and resume our evolution?

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Thanks LL . The funny thing is - I'm the happiest I've ever been. I think it's because I'm seeing how so much of what we are bombarded with are really just distractions from the truth in the world. I think many people are generally aware of that, but they don't know what the truth really is, and neither do I. I just know it ain't what the media, politicians, religions, schools, etc say it is. Knowing that, though, makes me feel closer to the truth. I don't know why I'm so intent on finding the truth. But I do know that once I decided to not buy into the distractions, it has been very zenifying.

 

So...I'm in Sydney right now. Couple quick observations:

 

It's more American-ized (ish?) than I expected. Yet I sense they don't like America very much (can't imagine why...ehem).

 

The Sydney Vegan Expo is this Sunday - is that lucky or what?

 

My wife is with me. We couldn't sleep last night because our internal clocks are all off from the travel. We found a way to pass those hours

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm becoming more like my dogs every day.

 

I don't care about what happened 2 minutes ago.

I enjoy the enjoyable immensely.

I'm always excited to see the people I care about, and will defend them ferociously.

I can sense when things don't seem right.

I love naps.

There's no place I'd rather be than zooming through the woods.

And I crapped on my neighbor's lawn.

 

 

(Ohhhh, ok, I didn't really do the last one. I almost did - but they came outside and I got stagefright. )

 

(oh, ok, that didn't happen either )

 

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  • 1 month later...

On Colbert last night, he was making a point (in his way) about how that kid at UFlorida got manhandled away from the microphone and everyone in the crowd just sat there and let it happen (then they courageously went home and blogged about it ). He said it was like they were watching a video game, and not reality - a real situation happening right there in front of them. Granted, many of them probably didn't care about the kid's question, but still - NOBODY in that crowd stood up for his rights. Kinda shocking, but kinda not.

 

But that's ok. At some point, the collective will say - wait - that's wrong. We are being lied to. And we need to do something about it.

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Yeah that was really weird. Normally people have to be pretty loud to even get escourted out with more than one guard...this guy wan't being loud at all...although suposedly he blogs about doing stuff like this to cause problems...don't think he'll do this again.

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I was at home for lunch and the networks had unending coverage of Ahmanedijan's ("A") visit to NY. How controversial he is, how Iran sponsors terrorists, etc. They showed the NY Daily News cover with his photo and the headline "The Evil has Landed". They showed people protesting, all up in arms. Then I was on CNN.com and 99% of the people on there were all whipped up about his visit, why would Columbia invite him, etc...

 

Then it dawned on me that the US gov't could have very easliy denied him entrance into the US - terrorist supporter that he is and all. But they didn't. Why? Seeing all the hub-bub made the answer very easy to come by - they WANT him here. They want the HATE machine to go into full speed ahead.

 

He is the warhawk's dream-come-true. And here he is again - giving them the mallet with which they can beat the war-drum. He is either a patsy fool, or he's in cahoots with them. Whatever, his visit is serving its purpose to perfection as the US draws ever closer to bombing Iran.

 

It leaves us all with a very easy choice to make: Buy into the hate, or don't. Easy as that.

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I don't mind him coming here at all but I really don't appreciate the positive reception he recieved from so many people. And did you hear what he said about gays comparing them to drug dealers and killers then...he was asked to clarify and he said we don't have those kinds of people in Iran...how rediculous. I would be fine if people didn't boo him but clapping for the BS he said is uncalled for.

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I don't mind him coming here at all but I really don't appreciate the positive reception he recieved from so many people. And did you hear what he said about gays comparing them to drug dealers and killers then...he was asked to clarify and he said we don't have those kinds of people in Iran...how rediculous. I would be fine if people didn't boo him but clapping for the BS he said is uncalled for.

 

I just think it's all staged. Let him come here (or bring him here), have him say crazy stuff, have everyone get angry at him, and send him back. Then bomb the crap out of his country, and who's going to care? I mean, fer chrissakes, if he's not on the terrorist watch list, than who is? WHY would they let him in the country unless they wanted him here? It's the perfect set up.

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I think they let him in due to pressure because I really don't think Bush needs and excuse to bomb him...he did for Iraq but not so much for Iran.

 

To another note did you hear what Bill O said...he went to a famous restaurant in Harlem with Al Sharpton and later on his show he said he couldn't believe that this black restaurant was no different than any other restaurant in the country and said that everyone was polite. How crazy is that???

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Even though he's part of a party I think Dennis Kucinich fits that profile(and of course he's vegan)...personally I'd vote for him if we were electing a monarch to serve until his death

 

HEY! so would i. my wife and i changed our voter registration from socialist party of florida, to democrat just so we can vote for him in the primaries. we did that last time too.

 

dennis rocks!

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  • 2 months later...

http://a196.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/00759/59/14/759124195_s.jpg

 

Your Favorite Places On Earth

 

The second-to-last time we laid down together - you were too sick to greet me at the door when I came home from work. So I skipped my bike ride and laid down with you on your bed and we cried for a while for what we knew was coming. And even though you were the reason we were crying, and even though you were in pain -- you were still there to console me, your big paws reaching out to me to pull me closer, lowering your head gently into my lap.

 

Your breathing slowed, your body slumped, and I said my goodbyes...but then the rain came crashing onto the roof as if spilled from a giant bucket, like God was splashing water on you to wake you back up so you could enjoy one last day. It startled you awake, pulled you from the soft embrace of death, and there you were again - alert and strong, still protecting, and still comforting.

 

You greeted mommy when she came home from work, laid next to us as we ate, and as always, you perked up and hobbled down the hallway when the tv was shut off for the night, knowing that your cushion in the bedroom was warm and inviting - it was one of your favorite places on earth.

 

When I woke up the next morning, you were flat on your back, your head and neck arched to brace the weight of your powerful body, your gangly legs sticking up and folded over like a reindeer in mid flight. You must have seen me stirring before I awoke, and now you feigned sleeping in that awkward position - knowing that I couldn't resist but to jump down on top of you, wrestle with your legs, bury my head into your neck, and coerce you into battle. You didn't have much battle left, but you never could resist a row, so out came the teeth and that rumbling Rottie growl. You could use your aggression in such destructive ways, ways that I secretly admired for you showed no fear in the fight, full blast in, teeth blaring - and I wish I could approach the fights in my life with such abandon. We humans so civilized, and thoughtful, and fearful of outcomes. You could swallow my body parts whole, but you only gripped down enough so that I'd know that you could never cause me that kind of pain. That playful restraint stirs a different kind of pain in me now - one of my teeth clenching and tears held back.

 

We brought you to Chapin on your final full day. We had to help you out of the jeep and you didn't get too far down the beach. You laid there as the tide came in - I tried to build a dam of sand to protect you from the water, but the dam washed away, though you didn't mind the cool water lapping up against you. The sand cushioned your aching joints and you were just happy to be at one of your favorite places on earth. We took pictures to remind us of the day. Your head looks slightly droopy in them, like it pained you to hold it up. But you're still smiling, ears back, that wild and playful look in your eyes.

 

And on your final day, we helped you into the back of the jeep, probably your favorite place on earth. You started the ride with your head out the window, your gums flapping in the breeze and spinning drool down the side of the truck. But then you limped to the back, circled, and laid down - facing forward, watching us, just happy to be there even if you weren't smelling the parade of scents that rushed by the open window.

 

I helped you out of the jeep and we made our way towards the vet office - probably your least favorite place on earth - not the place you wanted to be on your final day, or any other day. So you found a comfortable spot in the grass, a boulder on one side, a tree on the other, and you laid down. I couldn't coax you further with chocolate chip cookies, so we laid there as mommy went to get the vet. Once again, you comforted me through my tears, and laid your head in my lap.

 

The vet's needle pinch didn't phase you, but once the poison started to take hold, you seized up for a second and looked at mommy - I can't fault you for being a little afraid. And I'm so, so, so sorry. We take on the role of God when we adopt animals, and sometimes it feels like all the happy times barely add up enough to offset the sadness we feel when cancer devastates our best friend and forces us to make the hardest of decisions.

 

You laid your head back down on my lap for the final time. We sat with you for a little while. I held your big head and when I smelled those puppy ears of yours, I remember thinking "I hope I don't ever forget what your ears smell like." And I haven't. Haven't forgotten the puppy ear smell, the wet and coarse lick upside my head, the way you would lean into me for hugs and pats, or roll on your back for belly rubs.

 

When we walked away from you for the final time, you looked so at peace. Fast asleep on the green grass between a rock and a tree, the Cape Cod breeze shook the grass and lifted strands of your fur upwards. You were finally at peace, no longer struggling to hold your head up proudly through the pain. I walked away and took a mental picture and thought "I hope I don't ever forget what you looked like when you were finally at peace." And I haven't.

 

It's been a few months now, and I miss you at the oddest times. Like I'll be driving on Union St under the Rt 6 overpass, and I'll wait for your wet lick on the side of my ear, thanking me for the ride, and anxious to get back home to see if mommy's there. I miss you when I watch the Patriots, you getting up from your bed beside the couch and tip-toeing down to the bedroom to avoid the hoots and hollers. I miss seeing you stir when the morning alarm sounds, flipping onto your back to invite the belly rubs. Moments when we could predict each other's movements, when our intentions became one. Those are my favorite memories of you. Those are some of my favorite places on earth.

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awww, that made me tear up.

You shoulda seen me while I was writing it.

I don't think I ever really dealt with the grief over losing her - and bottling that up hasn't been healthy, so I'm trying to deal with it now.

Guys can be so dumb.

 

Yeah, guys can be really dumb.

 

Good for you though for dealing with it now. I think it only leads to trouble when people don't face things and address them head on, and instead bury them.

 

The other night I was so happy and celebrating that my Pesty girl (cat) is still alive one year after she almost died from a seizure, when it hit me all of a sudden that my other girl (Tippy the bunny) isn't alive and I just lost it. It's been a difficult year at our place.

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