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Hows your love life?


kollision
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I have been with my girlfriend for 7 years. We were both vegetarian when we met, and we went vegan together 5 or so years ag, I don't really remember. I met her when my friends and I crashed a party at her house, we didn't know anyone there.

 

Regarding sXe, it gets a bad rep because like many people, I don't know anyone who is still sXe. I know LOTS of people who were straightedge, and strangely, their drinking/smoking/drug use coincides with them moving out of mom and dad's house or turning 21. And those I knew who were 'sXe' back in the day were always spending their time chasing girls and getting laid. I never knew a sXe kid who was abstinent.

 

Being drug free is a great choice, I myself have abstained from even a single beer for over a year at a time for various reasons, though now I go out drinking a couple times a month. To me, as long as you are in control and it doesn't have any negative impacts on your life, what is the big deal? I can say I go out less and less because I want to make sure I feel in top shape for a workout or for MA training.

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My ex-wife was vegan when we met (online). We were together for almost six years.

 

My on-off-on-off-on again girlfriend was not vegetarian when we met, although she had been for awhile in her teen years. While she knew that the issue was near and dear to me, and would definitely be a source of conflict long-term, I never pressured her to change. After a few months, she did, completely on her own. I'm sure I was just lucky, though; I doubt that would have happened with any other person. Actually, my biggest concern initially was her career goal: she had wanted to obtain her M.D. and go into virus research. Thank Gautama that that blew over, too.

 

Now if I can just survive her commitment issues. We've been together almost 2 1/2 years, brief splits included.

 

I was alone for a long time -years- before I got married, although not entirely because I was a veggie. I'd gotten fairly comfortable with being a bachelor. Now I don't handle being alone nearly so well.

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" ...if you arent straight edge now, you never were... no matter how many cool tattoos you got, or how "edge" you were back in the day..."

 

Even Ian MacKaye broke edge.

he always drank...just wasn't a drunken mess.

 

the only "edge" people i like are the ones who fell off, with one exception.

 

my pet peeve are the christians who claim edge..there's no place in hardcore for christianity imho... i'd much rather hang with the "thug" edge crews than those wee chappies.

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my missus and i have been together for nearly 2 1/2 years, we are going to get married next year

 

when we met (on a volunteer project in Nepal) i was veggie (though i went vegan 3 days before i left, knew nothing about it, and went back to veggie in Nepal. i was vegan the moment i set foot back in the UK, plus i ate 90% vegan whilst i was away). Kathryn was not veggie, but an open minded occasional omni. within about 6 weeks of her coming back to the UK (she had pre planned travelling arrangements so we didnt see one another for 6 weeks) she went veggie entirely of her own accord.

kathryn then went vegan about 7months later (1.5years ago) and she is now as vocal about it as me! this was all before we lived together (its been 15months now) so hats off! going vegan on your own in a house can be hard.

 

regarding the whole sXe thing (we have had this whole discussion before) i honestly do not believe that casual drinking is bad. i never ever get drunk - i hate the idea of it. i genuinly enjoy the taste of beer and wine (especially red wine - white wine is shite!) and its sad that this would be held against me, especially in terms of a relationship.

 

jonathan

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Topher and I are two hot (or shall I say "too" hot) single vegan bodybuilders roaming around our town. To quote my thug friends from last night's parties, "Girls better recognize."

 

All joking aside, yeah Topher and I are both single vegan bodybuilding dudes, both pretty much interested in the same types of girls...those who don't drink, those who are into fitness, who love kids, are genuine and kind, and are funny and who can put up with our totally lame jokes (mostly Topher's lame jokes). So since we're interested in the same types of girls we have to arm-wrestle for the ones we like. He usually wins, but then I kick him in the knee and make the first move.

 

Ok, not all of that is true but Topher did kick me in the knee l last night outside some club. It was the first time I'd been "out" in about a year. I never go out to clubs or parties or big social gatherings, I'm stuck on the computer, in the gym, working or sleeping. But last night a bunch of friends were in town so we hit up a bunch of different places and danced around, tried not to get soaked from the Oregon rain and ended up eating Sesame Tempeh at like 2:30AM at some bar that serves vegan food....

 

Wow, I guess I didn't sleep much, I'm way off topic.

 

So back to original question.....how is love life going....it's not really. Been single for a long time, looking for cute vegan girls who are fit and into fitness, love kids, are positive and optimistic and think I'm cooler than Topher. If you know of any, let me know

 

I better get back to work.

 

-Robbie 2 Hottie (but not hot enough to get a date I guess)

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Topher and I are two hot (or shall I say "too" hot) single vegan bodybuilders roaming around our town. To quote my thug friends from last night's parties, "Girls better recognize."

 

All joking aside, yeah Topher and I are both single vegan bodybuilding dudes, both pretty much interested in the same types of girls...those who don't drink, those who are into fitness, who love kids, are genuine and kind, and are funny and who can put up with our totally lame jokes (mostly Topher's lame jokes). So since we're interested in the same types of girls we have to arm-wrestle for the ones we like. He usually wins, but then I kick him in the knee and make the first move.

 

Ok, not all of that is true but Topher did kick me in the knee l last night outside some club. It was the first time I'd been "out" in about a year. I never go out to clubs or parties or big social gatherings, I'm stuck on the computer, in the gym, working or sleeping. But last night a bunch of friends were in town so we hit up a bunch of different places and danced around, tried not to get soaked from the Oregon rain and ended up eating Sesame Tempeh at like 2:30AM at some bar that serves vegan food....

 

Wow, I guess I didn't sleep much, I'm way off topic.

 

So back to original question.....how is love life going....it's not really. Been single for a long time, looking for cute vegan girls who are fit and into fitness, love kids, are positive and optimistic and think I'm cooler than Topher. If you know of any, let me know Wink

 

I better get back to work.

 

Robbie 2 Hottie (but not hot enough to get a date I guess)

 

O man you gotta be kidding me, lol. Reminds me of the guy called Scotty 2 Hotty in the WWE. Hope you guys had a great time. So are you straight edge?

 

 

 

please dont take any offense to any of this. I am simply answering your questions. I have nothing against people who drink or smoke or whatever. it simply is just not for me.

 

I used to believe in the whole "dont try it til you knock it" theory.

well, I never tried heroine...but Im not about to go try it because its something I havent done before.

Ive tried smoking and drinking because of the whole "dont knock it" thing, and it sucked. I wish I never tried it. I didnt have to give in to peer pressure to realize where I stand on the issues.

 

again Robert isnt straight edge. he is drug-free.

I am straight edge (commitment of substance abstinence for life).

 

Ive dated girls that werent straight edge. ive dated girls that werent even drug free. ive dated girls that weent vegetarian or vegan. and it just didnt work out. I dont like kissing someone who has smoke billowing out her mouth, or the taste of flesh on her lips, or poison on her breath.

sure I might continue to date girls that arent "ideal" to me simply for the fact they are rare and I cant expect every girl I see to be the way I want them too....but then again that is why I use the word "ideal". it be nice to have a sxe vegan gf...for the sake of I like being with someone who has the same beliefs and values as me.

 

Ive tried keeping an open mind when it comes to dating, but again that open mind is slowly closing and is focusing on what important. I dont want to date just to have a gf or because I "need" someone. I want someone that I truly care about to be my gf. I have all this love, and I dont feel like "wasting" it anymore on someone who is gonna cheat on me or go get high cause its cool.

 

sxe and veganism are strong beliefs and it would be most ideal to me to be able to date someone who also has come to the same conclusion that killing animals is wrong and that drugs are lame.

 

 

I'll probably continue to date un-ideal girls which sucks....but yeh...

 

straight edge was a first priority to me, then veganism. then it was the other way around. as if they arent vegan not only are they harming themself...but they are harming animals too. and not being drugfree they are firstmost harming themself and then possibly might harm others too (second hand smoke, drunk driving, etc.).

 

but now I see both equally as important. I dont want to date someone who is not on the same mental and moral level as myself. I am tired of lowering my standards simply to get a girl. If I have to wait for ms ideal (and I am not saying she is perfect...just simply sxe and vegan), then so be it. I think its worth waiting for love.

 

thanks. Im still waiting for her and in no rush. hope you find one too Smile

 

Na man, I take no offense. Thanks for explaining.

 

I personally don't believe in the "don't try it till you knock it" for everything, it's just some alcohol for me. Heroine...now that's too far.

 

I personally see Alcohol (if taken with caution) like drinking that soda over there. Whats the point of drinking it? Because of the taste and all. But like I said, I dislike the taste of alcohol, dunno why people like it. So I'm the type that just takes a sip and passes it on (still aint straight edge though).

 

I agree that you should go for someone that matches you morally and all, because there may be quarrels between the two of ya if not.

 

To tell you the truth, if the girl I was going out was straight edge it would probably give me more security over her, since I know myself better than her and all in terms of getting drunk or tempted. But then that would be unfair so I dunno. Alcohol would be as far as I go, but in moderation and not someone who drinks too much and doesn't know when to stop. Like a small glass or something. Smoking is a definite no.

 

O ya, alcohol like red wine is good in moderation. I did some research on it and I remember we had a convo on red wine. Not sure about beer and all those other stuff though.

 

Haha Single, now and forever.

 

I feel ya. I think I am going to be the same. Single till the day I die. Never had a relationship, never will.

Edited by kollision
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i never ever get drunk - i hate the idea of it. i genuinly enjoy the taste of beer and wine (especially red wine - white wine is shite!) and its sad that this would be held against me, especially in terms of a relationship.

 

Well, Mr.I'MGETTINGMARRIED , Looks like it really isn't a concern whether alcohol consumption would be held against you in terms of a relationship!

 

I'm the only girl on this board (that i know of) who doesn't drink. And, yeah, I'd look for someone who doesn't drink as well. The drinking aspect, however, is of minor concern. It's the ideology that is associated. I despise (sorry, strong word) drunkeness. It thoroughly annoys me. A vegan activist with loads of other stunning qualities who happened to drink on occasion I could probably live with.

 

But, really, why be sad??? People have TONS of expectations that might preclude a relationship with you (or me, or anybody). Weight. Religion. Ethnicity. Diet. Education....If you don't fit somebody's ideal, so what??!! They likely don't fit yours either.

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Some things that I would like in a girl:

 

Serious stuff:

 

1. Believe in One God (no Trinity but either than that I don't matter what religion, just believe in One God). Athiest could fit in, but it depends on the person that is Athiest since I believe that some of them do have a concept of God, just that it doesn't fit a certain religion.

 

2. Vegan of course

 

3. Doesn't do drugs

 

4. Has compassion that is the same or greater than my own

 

5. Thinks about others before even thinking of herself

 

6. Doesn't want kids

 

7. Would treat animals as if they were her own kids

 

8. Doesn't judge and respects others beliefs (if they are non violent beliefs that is)

 

9. Doesn't gossip

 

10. If I fall she picks me up, and if she falls I pick her up

 

11. Man too many more to mention!

 

Aesthetic wise: (these are not really important and I could do without them)

 

1. Likes to work out

 

2. Is in shape

 

3. Is Pure Polynesian (not mixed with asian or whatever else, but pure).

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1. Believe in One God (no Trinity but either than that I don't matter what religion, just believe in One God). Athiest could fit in, but it depends on the person that is Athiest since I believe that some of them do have a concept of God, just that it doesn't fit a certain religion.

 

Pardon the minor correction: atheists do not believe in any god. That would be like a vegan that eats cows.

 

I think you're thinking of agnosticism.

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1. Believe in One God (no Trinity but either than that I don't matter what religion, just believe in One God). Athiest could fit in, but it depends on the person that is Athiest since I believe that some of them do have a concept of God, just that it doesn't fit a certain religion.

 

Pardon the minor correction: atheists do not believe in any god. That would be like a vegan that eats cows.

 

I think you're thinking of agnosticism.

 

Nope, not Agnostic. People that claim Athiesm, but believe in a power bigger than anything else.

 

If we go by the Proof definition, that would go in accordance to all other religions since those are not proofs at all, just something you follow.

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1. Believe in One God (no Trinity but either than that I don't matter what religion, just believe in One God). Athiest could fit in, but it depends on the person that is Athiest since I believe that some of them do have a concept of God, just that it doesn't fit a certain religion.

 

Pardon the minor correction: atheists do not believe in any god. That would be like a vegan that eats cows.

 

I think you're thinking of agnosticism.

 

i second that. atheism is the non-belief in the existence of god.

 

veganmadre - i entirely agree with oyur sentiment about drunkeness - i have done it, but not for a long long time, and i hate it now.

 

jonathan

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1. Believe in One God (no Trinity but either than that I don't matter what religion, just believe in One God). Athiest could fit in, but it depends on the person that is Athiest since I believe that some of them do have a concept of God, just that it doesn't fit a certain religion.

 

Pardon the minor correction: atheists do not believe in any god. That would be like a vegan that eats cows.

 

I think you're thinking of agnosticism.

 

i second that. atheism is the non-belief in the existence of god.

 

veganmadre - i entirely agree with oyur sentiment about drunkeness - i have done it, but not for a long long time, and i hate it now.

 

jonathan

 

Well what about someone who claims they are Athiest and doesn't believe in God perse, but a force or energy that is greater than anything else?

 

The agnostic definition still wouldn't suit this one though

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Well what about someone who claims they are Athiest and doesn't believe in God perse, but a force or energy that is greater than anything else?

 

I would say they've picked the wrong word.

 

Ok, but this wouldn't fit in with Agnostic. Would this just be a Deist?

 

And like I said they see it as a Force, not as God. Much like how Gravity is a force, just that this one is the greatest force.

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If you want to get really technical about definitions there are different types of atheists. For example, "weak atheists" are simply skeptical regarding the existence of a supernatural being. Many people who consider themselves "agnostic" are really weak atheists (an agnostic is generally someone who believes that there is not enough information available to determine if supernatural beings exist or not). "Strong atheists" hold the belief that it is impossible for any sort of supernatural being to exist.

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If you want to get really technical about definitions there are different types of atheists. For example, "weak atheists" are simply skeptical regarding the existence of a supernatural being. Many people who consider themselves "agnostic" are really weak atheists (an agnostic is generally someone who believes that there is not enough information available to determine if supernatural beings exist or not). "Strong atheists" hold the belief that it is impossible for any sort of supernatural being to exist.

 

Either way, Im still holding on to what I said about Atheists. Agnostic doesn't fit what I was speaking of.

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Ok, but this wouldn't fit in with Agnostic. Would this just be a Deist?

 

And like I said they see it as a Force, not as God. Much like how Gravity is a force, just that this one is the greatest force.

 

We're getting a bit off topic here. Deism, as far as I understand it, is a specific philosophy that believes that there was/is a supreme being that created everything but has had little or nothing to do with humanity since.

 

I'm not sure why you feel that agnosticism doesn't work.

 

However, on the dating websites I've been to, they often call themselves 'spiritual'.

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ya drunken people, or even "tipsy" people, annoy me

 

somebody mentioned something about pop -- for all you staright edge people or those who dont like their women to drink at all (like you Robert), just curious about something: what about pop? What is the difference if I opt for a glass of red wine or a coke? If I drink it because I enjoy the taste, (not for mind altering which does suck I agree), then why is it okay, by your standards, to drink a coke but not a glass of wine? Both are toxic, and arguably, wine is a healthier chocie anyway. Yet it seems that you would frown upon a potential girlfriend who would chose the wine over the coke? I know you probably dont like your girls drinking pop either, but why, in your mind, is the coke the "lesser of two evils"? Again, we are talking only about one wine versus one coke. Not getting even the slightest bit intoxicated by the wine, cuz like I said, drunken people are idiotic and annoy me too.

 

As far as the argument that one cannot see what is enjoyable or pleasurable about drinking alcohol and thereby poisoning your body, again, what about coke? Whether somebody likes the taste of something is subjecive -- what tastes nasty to you will not necesarily taste nasty to somebody else.

 

anyway, these arent indictments -- i ma just kind of thinking out loud here, trying to understand. I thought I understood after reading Topher's wonderful explanation but then somebody threw in the "what about soda/pop" example then and it got me thinking more about this whole "one glass of wine versus one pop" dilemma.

 

None of this is meant to judge or critisize by the way -- in case it came across that way

Edited by compassionategirl
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atheist is someone who says that all religion and spirituality is definitely nonsense, they don't believe in the christian god or any other god, they don't believe in the afterlife, or in ghosts or in the earth's life-force etc. Well that's how I use the word. Agnostic is someone who is not sure about those things; they don't believe in them, but they would not say they are 100% sure that they don't exist, unlike the atheist, who is sure of it.

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If I drink it because I enjoy the taste, (not for mind altering which does suck I agree), then why is it okay, by your standards, to drink a coke but not a glass of wine?

 

 

It's taken me 2 years to kick my Coke habit. And on a hot summer day, I still crave an ice cold Coke over ice. But if I allow myself one, I fall back into it. I use to drink 4-6 Cokes a day.

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