Alejandro The Vegan Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Last year as a Vegetarian and as a pretty heavy consumer of alcohol I didn't feel left out at all! I could easily go to our favorite bars and places to have some beers and watch the game or the fights with my boys! I didn't eat chicken wings anymore, But I did have a veggie pizza, or fries, onion rings, typical bar food. Now as a Vegan I find my self rejecting invites to go out with my friends and I feel bad. I don't want them to think I'm trying to push them away but at the same time I'm trying to change and avoid alcohol and greasy late night bar food because, we are all there so might as well eat and drink since everyone else is. It's a very social thing to do and pretty common, I mean less than 3 months ago I was doing it! But I had enough! I find my self thinking the following; How am I going to enjoy my self? If I'm not drinking and I'm not eating cheese fries or mozzarella sticks from 10pm till 1 or 2 in the morning? I don't know my self at a bar without that. So I'm a bit unsure how I would act and If I'm going to be the "party pooper". I hosted the UFC fight a couple of weeks ago, some of friends were positive that my 31 day non-alcohol period was over. There was lots of beer around me and I didn't have one zip. Since then my fridge has 15 Heinekens in there that I have not touched, But 3 months ago I would have finished them in 2 days. Sorry for the long post, My question is what do you guys do? Or how did you get around it? Going out with your old social circle, minus the food and the alcohol. Thanks! I know this is simple and it's not the end of the world, but I'm not at the point yet. I'm working on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nathan Nearing Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 I've never been a bar guy to begin with, but I was a huge party guy in the past, so I know where you're coming from. If they are your friends they'll accept the fact that you're not going to drink or eat shitty food around them, and more often than not they'll congratulate you on it. If they shun you because you're not participating like you used to, then maybe it's time you found some new friends. If I'm going to a friend's place and I know I'll be there a while I usually pick up food and bring it over. Sometimes I make food for myself and them when I'm there. It gives me something to eat, and it shows non-vegans how good vegan food is! I don't hang out with vegans actually, which is funny. No one I hang out with vegan, but I never have a problem with it. Just think ahead. If you're going out for a while, bring some food, and if you're going to party where there is booze and you don't want to be the outcast, by root beer in glass bottles. Seriously. It takes time but after a while it'll be no thang. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zinzen Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 I also really dont know many vegans, but as I write this I just took a shot, hey the economy sucks and I cant smoke weed so what...I usually bring a few cliff bars or Odwalla bars with me, anywhere the wife and I go, same with her.So if you find yourself at a bar take a bar, ha, and grab a Coke, cause bar Coke is the best, and its usually free Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bronco Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 My advice would be to go hang out with your friends and have some non-alcoholic bear and maybe eat some peanuts. Works every time for me . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xjohanx Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 My advice would be to go hang out with your friends and have some non-alcoholic bear This is great advice. However, these days it's kind of hard to find sober bears. http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j166/jeffringr/BeerBear.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bronco Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 My advice would be to go hang out with your friends and have some non-alcoholic bearThis is great advice. However, these days it's kind of hard to find sober bears.This is true. In a worst case scenario he might have to settle for a non-alcoholic beer instead . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
revolushuneyz Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 I explained the situation to my friends and just told them I was over doing certain things. If a friend nagged at me for not being around, I would invite them to do the things I was doing, as a compromise. Do their activities once in a while and my activities once in a while. I also find you have to make suggestions and offer alternatives, not just say "hey, wanna hang out", because everyone will default to what they're used. If a friend really got on my case, for example, for not going out for PHO (meat-based soup) with everyone, I would say, we could go somewhere vegan-friendly. If they refused to eat a vegan-friendly place (and therefore exclude me), I would let them know that they just decided that it was more important to them to eat meat than it was to hang with me. But it's true, if your friends require you to only interact within "their" space (bars/getting hammered/eating meat), then it's not you they're interested in, it's the lifestyle. If it's you they are interested in, some compromise can be reached. With most of my friends, I will go out and party occasionally, or go grab dinner at a veg-friendly place before they go out. That way we can see eachother but I don't feel the pressure of staying out all night. It has also meant that I have lost some friends. But really, if someone can only interact with me through meat or alcohol, I'm not interested. It sucks and it's frustrating, but it's also reality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alejandro The Vegan Posted February 20, 2009 Author Share Posted February 20, 2009 Thanks to everyone that's giving me great tips! Some of the stuff is pretty given huh? Like I mentioned, I know is not the end of the world but I'm interested to know how others deal with it. I want to make it clear that none of my friends give me any crap, on the contrary, I'm the one who doesn't want to make them feel awkward by not taking part in the very things we did together for years! I was also wondering about Traveling, finding Vegan alternatives in other countries, I'm originally from Mexico and I went back once last year as a Vegetarian and I managed, I did eat fish though but when I went to Cuba I really suffered and ate more pizza in Havana than an Italian probably eats in a year haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xjohanx Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 http://www.happycow.net is great when looking for restaurants. If you go to countries where you don't speak the language you might want to buy the book "vegan passport" which has a text in a lot of different languages written to explain that you are vegan and what it means, you can just give it to the waitor. Might seem rude but it works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xveganjoshx Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Thanks to everyone that's giving me great tips! Some of the stuff is pretty given huh? Like I mentioned, I know is not the end of the world but I'm interested to know how others deal with it. I want to make it clear that none of my friends give me any crap, on the contrary, I'm the one who doesn't want to make them feel awkward by not taking part in the very things we did together for years! Here's something I learned awhile ago that really helped me out:If you make something out to be a big deal, it usually will be.If you make something out to be no big deal, it usually will be. So what, you have a different diet than your friends? No big deal. Just do you thing, and they'll do their thing. As long as both parties are respectful about it, I don't see it being a big deal, unless you (the general "you") are some kind of judgmental asshole, in which case one has bigger issues to worry about (IMO). About the drinking thing - just don't drink alcohol. It's not difficult to go to bars or clubs without drinking, just grab a soda or water, really no one cares, it's just social conditioning telling you to feel weird, since when did you care about that (as a vegan, lol). Just do your thing and be chill with it. Few people will care, and like others have said, they're not very good friends if they do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeaSiren Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 What xveganjoshx said Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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