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Averting Fights and Drunk Ego Testosterone Driven Fools


RAINRA
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I don't know how often this happens to you depending if you go out much. I was breaking last night and some fool came up to kill our vibe breaking to do a push ups where we were breaking to poke fun. I continued to do a move and he bumped me on purpose. I was upset and I was like what the hell but was not directed at him just at the fact that he had to go and do that. He came up got in my face again this guy being probably 180 to 200 lbs and with a serious attitude.

 

He was like what! what ... what you did you say.... he was like you know I am a police officer and you know what happens with that so shut the fuck up. By then I am like this dude wants to fight. MY adrenaline kicks in and I am really focused. He starts pushing with me with his chest and starts talking really close to my face. I am telling him listen I am just here to have fun and all of us are here doing our own thing. He was like why are you shaking huh huh!! I was like what? He kept going on saying that I was a faggot and that I should go hang out with my faggot buddies. It really pissed me off. First off why do people use gay as derogatory.That is first of all just wrong and specially coming from a so called police officer or so he claimed. I just kept repeating to him that I was having a good time and that is what I came here to do. He eventually got tired of bullying and walked away saying go go dance go ... directing me what I should do.

 

He came back 5 minutes later and apologized saying he was unprofessional ... still that did not justify what he did. This would not be the first time some dude bigger than me tries to pick on me for doing my thing. People got some serious attitude problems. He pretty much killed my vibe by that time at night.

 

Anyone esle got a story like this or where they get harassed.

 

I am just in good spirits but after people do that man it really bothers me.

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That sucks. Kudos to you for keeping your cool. You're much stronger than anyone in a state like that . Very classy, too. I think you did the right thing. I want to say, don't let it bother you, but it's not always possible.

sometimes, I like to think of people like this as "going through something" and so try to be more compassionate and let that lead my mood rather than anger or upset. It's not the easiest thing to do, but it can help me when I feel like crap afterward.

 

But I'll say it anyway, don't let anyone bring you down

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yeah thanks ... It is hard specially when someone is dictating to me when I can talk and to shut up and listen to him. It really sucks. I find people who try to find smaller guys really cowardly. I mean specially because even if you watch UFC they always try to make the weight class even. He should pick someone his size not mine. Oh well. Just plains sucks...

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Oh I remember someone was trying to start a fight with lean and green here in D.C. or so I think he told me when he was walking out of Java Green like saying something like your Vegan... kinda smirking... I don't really know the whole story but Lean and Green was pissed. Maybe he can fill in the story

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Funny you should bring this up RAINRA.

 

Yesterday i was walking down the street on my way home from shopping groceries. As I was walking I noticed two guys in a bus shed drinking and talking loudly. As i neared them they stopped talking and one of em' started eyeing me. Just as I was about to pass them the guy eyeing me deliberately walked out and shouldered me and then continued to yell at me telling me to watch where the fuck I'm going, so on and so forth. I told him I wasn't the one at fault here, but that just send him into a rage and he started throwing punches, I mean the guy went absolutely mental and he was windmilling the crap out of me, luckily I've been boxing as a kid and most of my teen years, so I i grabbed a hold of my ears (not literally) managing to parry most of his punches while getting close to him to avoid further punches.. So there I am hugging the guy boxing style trying to get him to calm down, but without any luck. Anyways! after wrestling the guy back and forth I uppercut the guy clean on the jar knocking him out cold. After all this I picked up my stuff and ran away because i didn't want to end up in another fight with his friend.

 

Usually I'm very calm and not the fighting type, but when i get attacked like this I'll defend myself by any means necessary.

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Hey Rain . . . first off, Bravo on how you handled this situation! You absolutely took the higher ground and didn't buy into this guy's anger/fear issues . . . isn't it interesting how this personality type always seems to repeat, like a parrot, "are you afraid"? Always trying to goad you on by pinning their issues of fear on you. Also very common is the trait of trying to insult your masculinity in terms of sexuality, name or whatever their tiny brain can grasp.

I have been in so many situations similar to this, I really can't count them. My father was in the military,so as a child we were constantly moving. I was always "the new kid" . . . a boy named Hilary. The most intense period of confrontations in my life was touring the Southwest (Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Kansas, Missouri, Arizona, NM, etc) . . . I was a male ballet dancer named Hilary with a very unusal diet! I also loved to go out dancing. Specific incidences will be too long winded, so here is what I have learned:

Outburst from these individuals are almost always fueled by (as you indicate in this thread title) alcohol, testosterone, and psychological issues (fear, anger, bully mentality)

My response has evolved over the many years:

Fisrt off, always remain CALM . . . I know this may be daunting, but the proponent is not in a calm state at all.

When I was younger, a VERY important issue was who was either RIGHT, or who was BADDER(stronger, rougher, a better fighter et all), or I don't want to take crap from anyone. So you need to assess where you are with this issue.

What has helped me deal:

First, I HAD to start training in martial arts from a very eary age due to my name, so I have many years experience in boxing, karate, jui-jitso, and street fighting. I knew that I could win in a fight with any of these morons. But as time passed, that really didn't matter . . . do you really care if you can beat up a drunk 250 lb hate-filled redneck??? Or do you want to change their perspective on life?

I always got comments like: "What kind of a name is that for a man"? (I would reply, "A good one"). . . or "Ballet, Who is your gay lover"? (I would say, "You are").

Anyway, the gist of what i have taken away from all of this is:

Always remain calm, that serves you very well, you can choose the best course of action

who cares who can win in a drunken bar fight . . . it is forgotten the next day.

The best course of action is to keep up what you are doing and maintain a happy state of mind ( if that is possible) and don't buy into the anger being thrown at you.

OK, I'll stop here. Javier, if you want to talk, you know where to find me, but, you seem to have learned all of my lessons over the year already.

You ROCK!!

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Thanks all of you for sharing. Man this happens to people all to often...

 

Interesting Hilary did not know it was like that for you?

 

XcX - wow man I am glad your ok! good thing that you do know how to at least get out of it. I would have had a problem if I were hit.

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I don't have any advice, Rainra, but just wanted to say that it sounds like you handled a very crappy situation as best as anyone could. It makes me sad to think that there are lots of people like this guy in the world. Anyways, offering my support, and congratulations for handling it well.

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Sorry to hear about this man.....sucks when people act like that, are mean, or bullies or kill your vibe when you're trying to have fun, etc.

 

Hope you don't have many more experiences like that and it seemed like you handled it better than most. Here's to more breaking without interruption!

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Yeah one of my friends said that he had a friend who was attacked and in defense he put the guy in a sleeper hold and the guy passed out for like 3 min and he really got in trouble because for putting him out even if was in defense. I think he said he had to go to court and pay a big fine.

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XcX - wow man I am glad your ok! good thing that you do know how to at least get out of it. I would have had a problem if I were hit.

 

Well my ear got bruised up a bit, but other than that I'm okay

 

Gotta hand it to you though, keeping your cool in a situation like that and not stooping to his level takes quite a bit of self control, hats off man!

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