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Hello my name is Tom and I am a drug addict.


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Day 8 is actually kinda hard strangly enough. I think its cause I had to run around a lot, and someone took a pic of my wife yesterday and now she thinks someone is to kill her and that sucks. I think shes nuts but its cool. and now I have to drive 3 hrs, first long drive sober, so we will see how this goes right. Going to be in New York tonight.

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Keep up your hard work and focus Tom and also just take it one day at a time. When I was going through a similar situation I later appreciated the mental clarity and being in touch with myself. Ever read Dharma Punx? It was really inspirational.

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Dude..I've been a dope addict for years. I know people look on it as a soft drug, but when you buy this genetically manipulated stuff and roll up a 2g pure weed spliff BEFORE you eat breakfast you know you've got a big problem.

I've tried to stop smoking many times but ALL my friends smoke a lot..although some are not as addicted as others.

I think I'd been stoned 24h a day for about 7 years, but now I haven't smoked in 3 weeks and the only way I've achieved this is by refusing to see any of my friends.

Really, I'm going to have to look for new friends because I can't say no if someone offers me a spliff but I CAN stop buying it myself. These last 3 weeks however, have been really tough..and especially so because I've felt very lonely without my friends. I've had terrible withdrawal symptoms..cronic imsomnia, shaking, paranoia, depression...pff!

And its easy for people to say "look for new friends" but its not like when you are at school..its harder the older you get and that's the worst of it in the long run in my opinion.

You probably think its silly but I know a lot of people who have had a hard time stopping smoking weed. I've also notied I have a LOT more muscle tension..and yes, I did use to train stoned! one of the reasons I stopped smoking was my love of the soprt. I wanted to see if I could achieve more cutting out my one and only unhealthy vice! Only time will tell. However, one immediate effect of stopping smoking dope is that now I don't have the munchies, I've finally managed to get down to the 10% BF level I was striving for and my skin looks great! I have had to dramatically increase my cardio and am doing a lot of sprinting and stuff. I'm extremely nervous and the weed helped me keep it under control but now I have to find another way to let off that excessive energy i have!

Stay strong and good luck!

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They say Marijuana isn't a drug, that it's a harmless plant, but the truth is it's not always the case. It can by very psychologically addicting, as shown in tons of ex-users.

 

They say Marijuana isn't a gateway drug, that it's just a recreational activity, but I personally know that I wouldn't have done any of the retarded shit and poisionous substances that I did if I hadn't gotten tired of weed and wanted to search for a different/better/more unusual drug experience.

 

I was never a fan of all the Refer Madness when I smoked, and I'm STILL not a fan of it now, but these two things I wrote are the fucking truth and anyone who thinks otherwise might be a small exception but it's not worth what other people have experienced including myself.

 

Word,

Josh

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Yep..I think it depends on the person. For me, sweet mary jane wasn't a gateway drug. I loved it and stuck with it. I once read a book called the psychology of the drug user, which detailed why some drugs appeal to some people and not others For example, I'm extremely nervous and hyperactive and annoy just about anyone who lives with me because its impossible for me to sit down for more than five minutes in a row..this is why mary was MY perfect drug. Coke on the other hand, only exaggerated my natural hyperactivity and I absolutely hated it! Like halluconogenics..I already have an over active imagination so taking acid for example is terrifying for me!

Its all down to personality. I know lots of people who smoke dope and keep to one spliff a night, but for me, as I love it so much, this isn't possible. But my M8 who can limit himself to one spliff a night gets paraletic on alcohol several times a week..so its all relative.

I think when you get to the point where you're drugging yourself BEFORE you go to work, or buying drugs BEFORE you buy food its time to admit you have a problem...WHATEVER the drug, legal or not!

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Actually the researchers I have worked with and even the ONDCP does not regard marijuana as a gateway drug. The current understanding is that Marijuana does introduce people to drug culture which allows them access to other drugs, but it's not like people start smoking pot and then always work their way to other drugs. The refer madness "gateway drug" definition is b.s.

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The current understanding is that Marijuana does introduce people to drug culture which allows them access to other drugs

This is my point.

 

You can call it opening the gateway or not, I don't really give a shit about semantics, what I know comes from firsthand experience with myself and literally hundreds of other people met through years in that scene.

 

I was always curious about what age people started doing stuff and with what drug, so I always used to ask people even when I was a user because drug culture always fascinated me. Out of everyone I know, I've only met one person who did something else (psilocybin mushrooms) before they ever did pot, and I remember that distinctly because I thought that was so odd and basically everyone starts smoking pot and then (most of the time) moves onto at least ecstacy, or coke, or pills. Not the other way around.

 

This is my experience, refute it if you want, I don't care what a bunch of assholes at the DEA or other combination of letters and numbers think about my life and hundreds of others I know.

 

-Josh

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Well it feels like day 10000000000. for some reason as this goes on its getting mucho harder. this past day some drama started up in my world and I had to bat off the obsession for the vodka I knew my ma had in the cabnet next to my feet like at least 10 times.

I came home today and saw shot glasses out from when my wife and friend drank yesterday and it fucking damn near killed me. I never even cared much about booze. The challenge has begun hard, ripping at my motherfucking soul, shit physically hurts no doubt.

I just want to kick a good response to the people posting on this blog like confession. Thank you for your continued intrest and support, and as I said in short I will always support marijuana as a medicine, it helped me through some really painful times, I have never had an issue with stopping, have not smoked in way over a year, though I do know several peeps that have been brought down by the sticky green.

I have just renounced all forms of intoxicants for me and my buddhist practice. I obsess on all forms, if I start running low its all I think about, I am no longer me, shit I dont think I have ever been me, I might show up in like a month or so. That is why I gotta stop it all, even freaking allergy meds, same thing happens because they change my reality, cant run anymore. so I sneeze, oh well.

I know if it gets real bad I can always start using dope again, as dumb as that sounds, so why not, just for today, why not stay sober. tomorrow we will see, the whole One day at a time thing.

Thanks again for reading and posting, I personally know how hard it is to keep up with long winded blogs by people who seem just a bit to self centered.

Peace people.

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Today is ending easier then it started. I am not in the pain, just getting used to seeing things as they are, summer is fine, worried about building a good sober foundation for winter, for winter can kill a mofo with the quickness.

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Hiya, most of you kids know me pretty well on here, though I aint been posting much. Well recently I have finally allowed myself to say out loud that I am in fact addicted to just a wonderfully large assortment of mind altering substances and it is high time I do something about it. So as part of my recovery I am going to post here a journal of sorts, not every day mind you but enough for me to be held accountable for me, to well ...me.

Today starts my fifth day sober, five days out of 15 years of being high everyday, no exaggeration.

Tonight I sat in a house filled with people drinking and smoking dope while popping percocets and I am happy to say that while it was friggin hard I in fact remained sober

Since starting this shit I have twitched, cried, puked, froze and sweated and generally asked myself what the hell I thought I was doing anyways. I figure I have about 3 to 5 more days of the physical aspect of withdrawl, then its on to the ever so annoying aspect of mental anguish.

Well its bed time for now, got an AA meeting at 9:45am.

 

It's great that you're doing this. It's tough, but it will get less tough, and it's worth it. Best of luck!

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The whole addiction dilemma is always interesting. I have on friend who was addicted to not eating (anorexia), she went to rehab for it, then she became addicted to exercise. She just got back from there. I know people who are addicted to twelve step programs, religion, sex, coke, alcohol, and even shopping. I think most people at one time or another are addicted to something. It is great to see someone have the courage to face that addiction, and the underlying root cause. I salute the integrity of anyone who is willing to deal with those hard topics.

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Zin I like that line of thinking.

 

I think just about most things can be addicting. I struggled with online gaming for a long time, no kidding. And there is a name for this actually. It's called process addiction. South Korea is putting out a lot of research on addictions to gaming in particular.

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