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Hello my name is Tom and I am a drug addict.

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OMG! Bosers are the best! I've had 2 and I love them! I like the way they try to talk to you and make all those silly noises, I've only ever seen boxers do it! if you havent already you should check out the videos on youtube, there re lots! Just search "talking boxer", shoulc give you a few laughs

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Veganmama, the wife and I argue most before I quit about everything, Drugs, money, sex.

now we argure about money and honesty. same shits most argue about. My marrage has grown better in the past two weeks then it has been since before we got married, and it gets better every day.

We have been through a ton of stuff since meeting, for shits sake I actually had to illegally steal her from Canada to get her here.

We are both in school for biology, and I DO NOT want to be in Ohio anymore, winter murders my soul, but she has a hard time with thinking about transfering everything due to her want to stick with as little schools as possible to look better on a transcript for med school, whereas I say if I dont get the fuck outta here I am liable to die.

We are planning on moving in a year though to Portland just toget outta the east coast climate killing me. That is as long as we can both work there.

That about sums it uo, gotta go to this follow up app with the dog now.

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aaaaaw. POOR doggie!!! He is the cutest thing I've ever seen. I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE Boxers. Is he pure Boxer? He looks a bit like a mix.


I was just saying to someone yesterday how more than any other dog breed, Boxers are the most interesting cuz they are SOOOOO curious about all people and they follow your every move. I really want one but they're a handful huh? So precious. I hope he's feeling better.


You seem to have a regular lil support following on this thread here....


Mod's maybe this should be moved to the Training Journal/Blog section so we can follow along with Tom every there. Seems more appropriate at this point.


Speaking of which... now that you feel healthier than you have probably EVER, have you thought of completely throwing yourself into a hardcore exercise routine? Seems like it would give you a healthy focus and definitely fill some of the gaps that would have previously been spent on drugs.... Just a thought.

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Starting to, my sponser is also the biggest mofo I have ever seen so he is telling me that soon we will be getting me back into shape. My shoulder is still messed up from the last surgery, tons of pain that I am now just simply putting on some testicles and sucking it up for.

Long head tendon of my left bicep may actually be partially tore, kinda just waiting for it to get better or shatter.

If I need more surgery my wife shall be the keeper of my meds and I will be going to two meetings a day, but that is neither here nor there, but it does leave my old lifting out still

As for moving this, never did that before, I just always go to veiw active topics so where someone posts has never been a concern of mine, but I will attempt to figure it out.

And yeah Cam is a full boxer, but people see his tail and assume otherwise, we are just hardcore AR people and dont feel any need to hack off parts of animals, though the balls are coming off soon but for reasons of population control, and yeah I do feel bad about it, but as a rescue his life happened because his parents owners didnt fix their male and female and were suprised when they did it, and just dropped the litter off at a shelter, how nice right, didnt even give em time to feed on the ma or nothing, bitches!

My life is a constant battle of wanting to burn down mothafucking labs and fast food joints to wanting to smoke a bong and let the world fade, from destroy to compassion, hatred to loving kindness.

I am beyond a balance between these things, as Noah Levine says its time to meditate and destroy, destroy the illusion, greed, fear, and attatchment to pleasure and avertion from pain. I am dillegently working towards freedom, towards peace. I have been on this mission for as long as I can remember, but the dark side always won, well I say its time to rise from the ashes of a life half wasted, its time to fucking rise.

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It's something the Mods have to do zin... we can't move threads. that note was for them



Hang in there babycakes.... and keep seeking out positive people to surround yourself with. They are out there, ya just gotta look and step out of your comfort zone. But I know that even if you started doin lots of cardio (and even other stuff, just leave the shoulder alone for now), that would help tremendously with creating a more positive outlook. Change doesen't happen overnight... this dark side of yours has been the dominant force for along time. It's not just going to come naturally to be a positive person... it'll be gradual and subtle. But as long as you keep trying, you'll get there.

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How about a good cardio program, Tom? Running for endorphins and weight training your legs too? Swim, steam and hot tubbing if your gym has it might help you wanna keep detoxing too...


That is one really cute boxer, kiss him for me. You're doing great, awesome job holding it together when the doggie got sick.

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What is this a random video post now

Another night with no dope and nothing to do for entertainment, wifes about to go to work, and I am sposed to be at a friends doing the wash, but alas I sit here, bored, and I got no food.

But I could complain for hours, I think I shall just state that today I did step 3 and now its on to #4, the personal inventory.

Good stuffs

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Another successful night of not taking drugs, find it a curious thought that I went from a steak and chicken patty loving drunk drugged out violent skinhead to a straight edge vegan treehugger, what the fuck

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Selfanalysis can be a bit scary, if not a whole lot. Loving and excepting oneself for who one is, is key, along with a desire for progression even if if feels like retrograde at times.

Did I say that??? Oops dementia in retrograde. Gotta have that checked again, with what else, lets see, I forgot. Ah the pain will remind me, I'll remember later. I hope.


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I hope to always remind myself:

That if I am having a bad day,

I can blame no one but myself.

Not the guy who backed in to my car, or the girl who left me, or etc..

The real truth is:

I am the one who is choosing to think that way.

No one is putting those thoughts in my head but me, not the car, the girl, etc..

No one is thinking for me.

I am the one doing the thinking.

I am the one who is choosing to think that way.

So if you're having a bad day it's your fault.

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We are planning on moving in a year though to Portland just toget outta the east coast climate killing me. That is as long as we can both work there


If you have SAD ( Seasonal Affective Disorder ) the North West may not be a better choice for you as it is often overcast and rainy in parts. Moving is a great idea. In addition to getting you closer to more sunny days it will also get you away from your old friends.


I have a friend who had a similar situation to yours. She quit the drugs, but felt that she had to get away from her friends to make it last, so she moved which she swears helped her a lot.


Psychologists have done mountains of studies and experts of all kinds throughout history have noticed that people become like the people they hang out with. I've noticed that with myself in the experience of my life too.


If you want to find momentum for a positive change start hanging out with people who are living the way you want to be.

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You had a useful insight in that you used drugs to avoid facing problems in your life. A social worker friend of mine told me that is fairly common among addicts. In fact the AA people have a nickname for someone who is sober, but who hasn't learned how to face their problems. They call them "dry drunks". The point being that getting sober is just part of recovery. Learning how to face problems is the other part.


Cognitive therapy has been proven to be more effective than medication for depression, insomnia and a number of other psychological issues. I've never had any in a professional setting, but I've read a number of books on the subject. One thing that sticks out to me is that it teaches and empowers you to handle many problems yourself. It is sort of like taking care of your teeth. You will always need to go a dentist, but you can do a lot for yourself by brushing and flossing.


My favorite book on the subject is "Guide To Rational Living" by Dr. Albert Ellis, the psychologist who invented it.


Dr. Ellis kept learning new things over the years and he significantly changed the book several times. Make sure you read the 1997 (final) edition. I also recommend that you start with chapter 20 to get Dr Ellis' most current view on what he thinks are the most powerful issues in changing your life:




One thing to remember is that effective as it is, cognitive therapy is like working out. You will not get results doing it just a few times. You have to keep on applying it over and over again just like exercise, but like exercise, if you do it regularly you will become one strong mofo.

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A nice way to start your morning, go to pay a bill to find you are shit ass broke, good stuff.

Man I am starved and I got no dough, what a shot to the pooper.

I need me some coffee, I dont know what it is about dope and coffee, at least I didnt start smoking ciggs again. There is just something nice about coffee and soy milk in da morn.

Thanks again for all that reads and posts, it really does keep me accountable for my actions, and all knows that shits a good thing.

Peace be with all on this Sat morn.

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