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Gym rants

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So, ever since I've started training in public gyms I've seen shit so beyond retardation that I am really having a hard time believing what I'm seeing..


First off.. GLOVES!!! Why the hell would you need gloves to lift A PADDED dumbbell ? Why would you even consider using gloves when doing a machine routine where everything is fucking covered in padding, pillows, mattresses, cotton candy and unicorns! Toughen up, geez!


Secondly.. weightlifting belts are for people lifting heavy, not for you to use while doing incline bench press in a smith machine, or when you're doing ridiculously light DB flys.. Yes, a belt might make you look cool, but doing useless exercises in it or prancing around the gym in it makes no sense.. Take off the god damn belt and leave it for the big boys!


Lastly.. Not EVER are you allowed to spot me if I didn't ask you, alright? Today I had some goofball instructor unwillingly spot me while doing my last set of OHPs. Had to drop the bar and politely tell the guy that what he was doing was incredibly dangerous and could result in serious injuries. I know the guy meant well, but you don't sneak up on someone and push their elbows around when they've got 67kg dangeling above their head.


Anyways! I'm not saying that I know everything about PLing WLing or BBing, or that I'm better than everybody els. I just had to vent some of my anger

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Padded dumbbells? I haven't seen those before!


What gets me are the people that use the barbell pad and only have 25 lbs added per side. There's no way that 95 lbs is really hurting your back. I've done up to 315 lbs and never used a pad... I can understand it for high weight--maybe--but not for 95 lbs.


One of my biggest pet peeves are the people that set up some ridiculous thing in the power cage, like a barbell on the floor with 2 plates per side, put the safety bars ON TOP of that (?!), have some some random plastic step platform thrown in there and then the person just disappears.


Even worse is when you go to an abandoned, loaded barbell, start to use it and 10 minutes later someone shows up saying "I was using that." No, you weren't.

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Ditto ^


I'm constantly seeing a really beefy guy in my gym, yet it seems that all he does is leg press and 75 varieties of ridiculous ab exercises. "How the FUCK did he get so big?!" is what I wonder every time I see him

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Beginning but not limited to... my gym pet peeves are:


#1 - no curling in the squat rack

#2 - don't throw the dumbbells ..... if you lift it you can lower it

#3 - if you aren't a power lifter, ditch the belt

#4 - Ladies.... endless abductions are a waste of time

#5 - Ladies.... see that big room with all the heavy things in it .... get your cardio queen butt in there and lift 'em!


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#1 - no curling in the squat rack


Meh, if the gym isn't busy I don't have a problem with people doing barbell curls in the squat rack. At least at my gym, there are no extra barbells or space to use them. Each barbell lives on a rack or bench.

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1. For gloves, unless you're a hand model or masseuse, people need to just toughen up and learn that calluses are their friends


2. Belts, I completely agree. When will people learn that belts HINDER lower back development when used constantly on far-less-than-max lifts? And why, oh, why, do some people wear belts at ALL TIMES, cinched up enough to cut off circulation even when taking a 5 minute break between sets?!? Seriously, I've watched people wear lifting belts doing their arm workouts alone. Or benching on set after set. Terrible.


3. Yeah, the "Super-spotter" may have good intentions, but needs to steer clear unless my life is in jeopardy and they're the only one that can save me from being crushed. If I'm squatting in a rack, why do I need someone to either a) prevent the pins from stopping the bar, or b) help me complete a rep that I couldn't do on my own. If I want a spot, I'll ask for it, but I've had a few encounters with people who wanted to race over and "help", for whatever that's worth.


And my only recent one -


Cell phones and headsets. WHAT ON EARTH are people thinking making or answering calls in the weight room? This isn't social hour - if it's THAT important, take it to the locker room or outside. I seriously felt like I was going to have an aneurism on Sunday when I was tailed by a guy who did his ENTIRE 50 minute workout while carrying on a conversation on his headset. There was never more than 10 seconds of silence, and there were only about 4 people beside us in the entire gym. From the bits I kept catching, NOTHING was crucial, all inane chatter that he felt was suitable for carrying on in the gym while the rest of us were lifting and trying to keep focus. I NEVER grunt while lifting except on a max attempt, but I can assure you, I was making my own racket every time he came near me. I've politely asked people to get off the phone in the weight room before, and they are almost always absolutely indignant about anyone questioning their decision to talk in the gym. Why people feel that they're so self-important as to NEED to discuss the day's events/what they're doing that weekend/how they're going to get drunk that night is beyond me. If I had my way, all cell phones would simultaneously melt into goo, taking one irritation out of the gym and all public places for good

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1. People stretching out and warming up in a locker room with limited space. Um, that is what the mat area is for.


2. People spreading their stuff out over the locker room bench when there is barely room for you to sit down.


3. People blow drying their pubic hair after a shower. Um, do you really need to do that at the gym?

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I have a nemesis in every gym I go to, for the exact reasons that people have outlined above.

In my current gym it is a self absorbed little **** that parades around everywhere "Helping People" and doing hundreds of reps of useless isolations.

He is about 5'4 and has quite a muscular upper body, but his legs are like toothpicks, he always wears jeans and a lifting belt, no matter what he is lifting.


Example 1. I have done my normal Tri exercises, closegrip bench, push downs, dips etc and want to finish with some Rope push downs - got to keep that horseshoe. The gym has only 1 rope, and it is near him on the ground near some cables, so I ask him if he is using it. "Yes, I'm using it, and I'm supersetting, so I'll be a while" all with hand on hip type attitude, so I say fine, I'll wait, just let me know when you have finished. So I stand there for 15 mins whilst he does countless reps of this weird exercise with the rope, which seem to have little if any value. Then then stops what he is doing and starts chatting to his mate. I walk over, he looks at me, then goes to start doing crunches or something. I got the shits, and basically said " I can live with waiting at this time of the day, whilst you do countless reps of some bullshit isolations, but now you are taking the piss" He says something like "Oh I forgot you were there", and give him the evils and he hands over the rope.


Example 2. I am walking to the water fountain, and he turns around and tries to cut infront of me. I take a step around him and walk to the fountain. Instead of standing behind me to wait, he walks up beside me and stands very close so he is effectively standing over me, remember this guy is about 5'4! I'm 6'3", so I turn around very close to him, pause looking down on him, then walk off. If he wants to go down that route and try and intimidate etc, he isn't going to get far, I'll throw him through the wall.


To add to the list above.


1. People who stand over the dumbbell rack whilst they do their dumbbell curls, Almost always they do it near the heavy section! There is a large amount of floor to do this stuff, get away from the Friggin rack!


2. People who cut through the gaps between benches, instead of walking around! This isn't only annoying it is downright dangerous, If you are shoulder pressing and they brush the weights as they walk through, you can destroy your shoulder. I have had people do this to me twice,

1st time was shoulder pressing, I just threw the weight away (Unforunately I missed him) and then got stuck into him. A trainer from the gym came over to settle things down, I got up him too, I was right so they shut up and walked off.

2nd time I was doing Skull Crushers, it tore my arm back hurting my elbow, and shoulder. I recovered a moment, then went to look for the guy, he ran, he literally ran away, he knew he was in the wrong. It took a couple of weeks for my arm and shoulder to recover!

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This dude who just screams yeah buddy to himself while walking around, I swear dude is fucking retarded, and he is a trainer.

I cant stand when dudes hit on women while they are trying to lift, its painful to watch.

These two super douches who load ungodly amounts of weight up and leave it there like dogs marking their territory, we get it your huge, you fucking live in a gym, great trade douche.

People who talk to me while I have headphones in, seriously, do you not understand the purpose of headphones, sound comes out of them when I want it to, namely when in my ears, therefore I dont have to hear you on the phone or hitting on the girls.

Mostly naked women, guys, well straight guys, you know what I mean, its the last shit I need to see while trying to concentrate.

And I am a massage therapist and I still dont use gloves, last I checked I wasnt a pussy.

Dont really seem to stop caluses on people I meet anyways, just gear that makes people feel like they are playing body builder.

As for listing shit that makes me irritated, well I see what I see, I laugh when I laugh and I can recall and make a list when requested to do so, shits funny.

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A) the guy who gets on the eliptical and goes so fast(on level 1) that the machine makes noise(it cant keep up) and sounds fucked up when I get on.


B) the trainers who see younger/older people doing exercises wrong and doesnt correct them.


C) people who dont take all the plates off the leg press (i dont warm up with 9 plates)


D) all the people who come online and bitch about other people in their gyms... ha ha ha ha ha j/k

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1.)People who can't put crap back when they are done with it. And when they do put the weights back it's in the wrong freaking spot (yes I'm a bit anal)


2.) people that just sit there at a machine in between sets, could you freaking move so I can get on with my work out? I like to actually keep my heart rate up.


3.)lastly, all of the people that come in to do cardio but are moving slower on the elliptical than they walk. Do they seriously think thats doing them any good?


This dude who just screams yeah buddy to himself while walking around, I swear...






ha ha ha


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What's the point in getting peeved over what everyone else does?


Most of it is just minor irritation for 2 reasons -


1. Some of it affects my focus while training (such as super phone guy) and completely breaks concentration. I can't train for crap with an iPod on, so I have to endure whatever sounds are in my area. The music choice is bad enough, I don't need more to be angry at Not to mention the super-spotter scenario, where someone nudging you the wrong way could do more harm than good in an effort to spot at a second's notice.


2. Some things people do are detrimental in that, others who don't know better sometimes start imitating them and carry on the tradition. Inexperienced lifters see the big guys screaming on every set, they're more apt to do it to. They see kooks with perma-belts on, then they start doing the same and making it worse for their core maintenance. They see people whose physiques they admire leaving plates on all the equipment, they figure, why should I do it? It's more of a matter of wanting to see the cycles of lunacy broken so it'll eventually fall by the wayside and not have the next ten generations of lifters bitching about the same stuff we are right now

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+1 to pretty much everything said so far.


A few things that have irked me recently:


1. People wearing beenie hats in the gym - bad enough in the winter but completely ridiculous when it's 80 degrees outside.


2. People reading books/magazines whilst on exercise bikes - any exercise you can do whilst reading a book is clearly a waste of time.


3. Young guys working out in small groups trying to outdo each other by lifting weights they clearly can't handle with terrible form - most common example being bench press with each rep stopping about 12 inches short of bar touching chest.


4. People hogging the dip bars so they can do endless leg raises.

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I think George Carlin was spot-on when he (talking about these same super phone guys) said "Hey, mister self-important! Now that you've got your hands free, why don't you reach out and juggle my balls, eh?" or something similar (can't remember precisely).

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Summer deals at the gym means tons of college kids there for the 3 month special. Of course they only go for 1 week, but that week is just *full* of injuries and stupidity.


The other day, these two fratboys (sporting the greek letters on shirts and everything) were "using" a bench to do "bench presses"

I put that in quotes because what they were doing really doesn't count, but they certainly thought it did.


One was really skinny, couldn't have weighed more than 120lbs at 5'5"ish, the other was fairly built at a similar height.

Built guy proceeds to load up the bar with 4 45s and 2 35s (for a total weight of 295 lbs)

He hops under and instantly needs a "spot" from his scrawny friend.

between him pressing as hard as he can and his scrawny friend using every last bit of his strength to spot, he puts the weight up.

Does he learn from this? put the weight away and say "I better try lighter!"


He does reps like this! with his friend tugging on the weight with all his might!

Yes, he continues to put his life in danger and his friend under tremendous stress. I started laughing, realized i didn't want to be the one to distract the scrawny kid from this extremely life critical mission, so i looked away and stopped.

Somehow, he got out of it without dying.

Next up on the bench, our scrawny friend reduces the weight to something like 120 and does the thumbs upwards grip.


Those two proceeded to go through the gym and misuse nearly every piece of equipment there.


my more common pet peeves include people who do bicep curls by swinging weights/going through 75 degrees of motion, people who use the stairmaster for 2 minutes and 1" worth of travel, people who don't re-rack weights, and people who steal your weights when you turn your back for a *second*.

I'm a very OCD person.

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Gym pet peeve, everyFuckingbody. No seriously, I hate the library guy . That dude who is reading his magazine while I have to walk around his dead ass to get to my weight. I say my weight, because the whole place is mine.

I hate the clueless

dude who is not paying attention and jumps in on me when I am super or giant setting.


The pencil geek ass clown who wants to tell me how to build big arms. Mine are 17" and his are smaller than my ex-girlfriends.


The guy who leaves his shit on the bench and does some other exercise, but gets pissed when I move it so I can lift. He is related to the dude who hangs all over equipment for 20 minutes then when I ask him if he is using the bench he miraculously has three more sets. WTF is that about


There is a special place in gym hell for the guy who does curls in a power rack.


I really hate the trainers who see that their gym has sold someone a membership, but no education. Come on man, you work here. Help this guy out before he hurts himself.

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1. The smell of synthetic flavors in the locker room from all the goop people drink and eat. I hate the "strawberry" the most. At my previous gym they had a shelf for "before" one for "during" and one for "after". Crazy. Real men drink spirulina for protein. That shit smells terrific.

2. People who use only one of the sides in the cable cross so that they can do triceps closer to the mirror (or whatever reason they have for doing this). There are other places that you can use for this and I need to work my pecs!

3. All the nutritional advice from know-it-alls. Makes you think that the good ole' savannah where we evolved are devoid of vegetation and is in fact just a sea of protein powder with piles of chickens that only have breasts.

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1. The guy that takes up at least 4 stations at once. I can see moving from squats to calf press sure. But Squats, Calf Press, DB on the floor next to bench so you can do shurgs followed by the bench taken up so you can do Bench Press. Pick 1 or 2 and then move on.


2. The "Talker". Every gym has at least one. This is the guy (never encountered a woman doing this) who for some strange reason needs to strike up a conversation with you during your rest between sets. Question...did the headphone hanging out of my ear not give you enough insight as to the fact I don't want to talk to you or anyone else.


3. The "Obnoxious Grunter/Yeller". This guy is great. Now I'm not talking about the lifting grunts some of us have all made from time to time. This guy at during each rep is snorting and grunting like a wild boar. And at the end of his set screams at the top of his lungs "F**k" then proceeds to stomp around the gym cause he hurt himself trying to lift more than he can. Now rinse and repeat for the next 3 sets.


4. The 10 minute workout. These guys for some unknown reason get dressed, get in their car, drive to the gym, bring a towel and some water and workout out for a max of 10 mins then leave. In the time doing 1 set on 5 different machines. What is the point?


5. Never really seen this before but a few weeks back there is the is guy doing lat pull downs. Instead of sitting down on the bench he proceeds to stand up and not just stand up but stand and lean back a 45 degree angle using the weight to hold him up then somehow starts pulling the bar to his chest all rapid fire like he is pull starting and engine or something. I have no idea how he did this or why but it drove me crazy the whole time.


6. Lastly this drives me crazy to no end. Sunglasses. Why the hell do you wear your sunglasses (mostly those huge designer ones) indoors and not only indoors but while your working out. Are the dull fluorescent lights too strong for you delicate eyes? Sunglasses were made to block out the sun and being indoors there is no sun. Take em off.

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One thing that makes me steam is watching teenagers or older people doing exercises incorrectly and doing it dangerously and no trainers going over to correct them. Ive been stepping in lately!!!


This happens all the time at my gym. 2-3 trainers on staff at all times. One a "master trainer" yet they will just walk on by when they see this 15 year old doing nearly every exercise with complete and utter improper form. I mean isn't that your job as a trainer to help those in your gym, or does that only come when you pay them the $100.00 a session.

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