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help my 5 year old husband


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i've been 100% vegan and have been cooking only with with whole, unprocessed, nutrient-rich foods for a couple of months now and i feel awesome! my food is more flavorful than ever before, my energy is through the roof, and my bodily curves are totally chizzled. and i am 100% positive i will never go back to eating animal products/refined/processed foods ever again.

 

my hubby hates it. he told me i'm crazy and that i've gone over board because earlier this year i found out i had hypoglycemia and everything we ate changed hugely except we still had dairy/meat but he was happy because he DOES want to eat healthier. obviously since then, i went vegan. i saw enough to understand that the commercial stuff is infested with all sorts of dangerous things and the abuse of those animals is extremely discussing in itself. i have no problem eating meat from a wild elk, fish, local free range chicken eggs, or organic cows milk from non-abused cows (but haven't had any desire thus far for health resons).

 

i personally refuse to play any part of it, and i want to teach my kids healthy eating habits without exploiting animals. they are still very young (6 months and 3 years), so it shouldn't be hard to take a big turn at this point. i don't condemn others for doing it, and i don't preach about it, i keep it between myself and my kids and try to leave it at that.

 

here is my problem, first off i LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my hubby, he is my best friend and he is an amazing person. that said he is so annoying when it comes to food. he is the most picky person i have ever met in my life, and he is rubbing off on my kids in a major way.

 

i will make a very healthy vegan meal for dinner, and i just try to ignore the fact that he won't eat it, thinks it's discussing, and i don't take it personal. i figure he can eat it or starve (he can't cook anything, and he doesn't have time to go grocery shopping and since i refuse to buy commercial animal products or refined foods, it's like eat it or starve right?). he will come through the kitchen and get himself a bowl of ramen noodles, or anything else that he can scrounge up still lingering in our cupboard from our life before, and then my daughter says i don't want this mom, i want what dad is having? not just that, but i feel bad cause he looks like is literally starving to death, and it's just sad. it's almost like abandoning your 5 year old who is helpless to make but a limited amount of things for themselves. do i endulge him and buy/make something he will eat or just wait it out until he comes around?

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Well, maybe he should take up learning to cook as a hobby.

 

If he "needs" to eat healthier I doubt he is starving. Like I tell others if they're really hungry they will eat it. If he can't cook after a while he will learn to eat it. Oh yeah, throw away the bad stuff so he and your kids won't be tempted.

 

My wife and child were like that. Even when I ate meat. I would cook chicken all the time And if chicken was made the night before(even though it was made/seasoned diff this night) my wife would go get fast food and my child would want what she was having so she would get him something too.

 

Now I tell my child to eat it or go hungry

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My husband is very similar. He will cook himself packaged food like frozen pizzas, frozen chicken wings, hamburger helper, etc.

 

He is so picky and whines about how he can't eat anything too healthy because he doesn't find it 'satisfying.' Right now I just say screw it and let him eat what he wants and I eat what I want. I know if/when we have kids it's going to be a much bigger issue though. I can't really comment on that. I see what you're saying though, I wouldn't want my children seeing such a horrible example of eating habits.

 

Things my husband WILL eat are things like stews (as long as there's not too many veggies), chili, enchiladas, etc. Things that are kind of "meaty" even though they are vegan and healthy.

 

I would tell him either learn to cook stuff for yourself or eat what I make, but I appreciate that you might not want to do that.

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Now I tell my child to eat it or go hungry

 

Glad to read that you've found a happy medium....

 

Why not teach your child that life is about choices and you've made the choice to be vegan - explain why... tell your child that fast food is engineered to taste good but has no benefits and that it's OK to eat once in a while... telling a child to eat or starve will have an ill effect later on in life (speaking from experience here...)

 

..not picking on you my friend, but relationships that last are built on good communication..

 

@ beanpole: My wife is health conscious but does eat some chicken/turkey/bison - my kids do, too. I'm the vegan and my wife compromises. For example, tonight she made pizza - but we used soy pepperoni for the pizza, loaded with veggies, and 1/2 was mozza cheese for them, the other half tofu cheese for me... worked great.

 

The other day she made a salad and fish - I ate the salad and then had a shake. I don't expect my family to change their entire eating habits because I have... that being said, we already ate healthy with limited meat/cheese/chicken. If you try and force him, he'll revolt (normal human behavior) - perhaps you can find a half-way solution for meals and then surely he won't mind making the odd thing himself to add on to the course you've made?

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I believe the word you're looking for is "disgusting" not "discussing". Discussing means to talk about something. Which you should do with your husband. Discuss with him that he shouldn't be acting that way in front of the children. It's important they learn to try new things, and by being a picky eater in front of them, he's teaching them bad habits. If he doesn't want to eat healthy, all the power to him.. But he can't teach his children his bad habits because they need the nutrients to grow and thrive.

He needs to be responsible. It's his job as a parent.

 

Now I'm not married, so I don't know what other advice I can give you other than to sit down and talk like adults.

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I am also married to a non vegan. In the beginning he was really unsupportive and thought it was "a phase" I was going through. It caused many disagreements to say the least. We went and talked with a counselor a few times and it helped in my situation.

My husband now is open to trying some vegan dishes and when he wants to eat meat, he purchases it and cooks it for himself. He no longer asks me to do it for him since he has a better understanding of why it would go against everything I stand for. I agree with Lobsterrific that stews and chilis are good. My husband actually requests the vegan chili now! Good luck and I hope things work out for you.

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Just a suggestion.

 

Trick him.

 

Buy some Tofurky Italian Sausages. Saute them with onions and peppers then slather them in a rich tomato sauce and serve on top of spaghetti. Serve it with a side of garlic bread

 

Then say, "Hunny, I decided to make something Non-Vegan for you tonight just for a change of pace. He will LOVE it so much and so will the kids. Wait until they've cleaned their plates and tell you how good it was and then tell them "Uh-huh... that was Vegan" with a smile of course.

 

I've done this several times... fooled people with foods they thought weren't Vegan and told them after. You just gotta find the right dishes to "fool" them with a couple times and I think they'll come around

 

Good luck

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Yes, this is a tough one. My fiance will eat whatever I make, thank GOD, but eats whatever he wants when not home. I do make him lunch though.

 

I have to admit, I do occasionally pick up non-vegan food for him and my kids (16 and 13) carry out from restaurants sometimes. I figure as long as they don't interfere with my choices, its ok...at least for me. I'm not making this a religious thing, in terms of drawing lines in the sand, etc. I just really hope that my choices will inform them.

 

I do make all vegan food myself though. They drink soy milk here, and eat vegan lasagna and enchiladas, etc. I just will not cook anything non-vegan. But I do make stuff like Melissa suggested above. Thank goodness no one here has soy or wheat allergies, so I can use meat substitutes. They still won't drink green smoothies though. Geez!

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