What do you do to relax?

[robert]

Hey everyone, I seem to have quite a bit of stress all the time. I worked for 4 years as a massage therapist teaching others about relaxation but I don't take care of myself very well when it comes to rest, recovering, and just relaxation in general.

 

What kinds of things do you do?

 

My good friend (the guy who got me into bodybuilding 6 years ago) meditates. He sits for an hour or so at a time.

 

I just had my "days off" from my regular job and for the first time in a long time, I didn't do much. I just took it easy and tried to do a lot of thinking, brainstorming, etc. but even that was stressful. So then I just played around on myspace. When I'm not doing "work" on the computer I like to just relax and chat with other vegans and stuff like that.

 

So anyway, I'm just interested to read some of the ways that you "let go" and just relax. I could use a lot of tips before I fry my brain and my body.

 

Thanks!

 

Robert

[Daywalker]

Mainly, i surf this forum

 

I also love a nice DVD session with a cool movie and tasty food.

 

Or i read a fantasy novel.

 

[willpeavy]

I surf this forum, read wikipedia.org, or go to Disney World with my wife and son whenever I can

[Phoenix]

You definitely have an A type personality Rob. You thrive on constant motion and your energy and zest for life is certainly contagious. But we all require a little down time, even from doing the things we love.

 

Meditation is number one in my books as well. But it takes time and you must be able to get into a relaxed state in order to get the most from it.

Like Daywalker, I love listening to a good CD. I have satellite TV out here in the boonies and so I listen to the satellite radio station that plays nature sounds or new age music or just some light clssical.

 

I also have lots and lots of plants. The greenery really helps me to relax as soon as I walk in the door. And.....one more thing, I have one of those water fountains that you can buy so that you can listen to the water babble and gurgle all night..........

 

I'm very lucky here, I can take walks in the woods or along the shore something that I really missed when living in the city.

 

What about doing something creative or artistic if that moves ya. Not something for anyone else but just for you.

[SeaSiren]

And.....one more thing, I have one of those water fountains that you can buy so that you can listen to the water babble and gurgle all night..........

I have been wanting a water wall for some time, I love the sound of moving water. So peaceful.

 

I don't know what relaxing is, but my home is my sancuary. I try to keep it clean and clutter free. Each piece has been chosen by me (it took me 6 years to chose a sofa, yes I know seems strange). If it isn't functional or something I love it's gone. On occassion I'll drive to the beach (a few blocks from work) and walk on the beach at night, listening to the waves roll in and out and sometimes watching the moon dance on the water. It's wonderful this time of year because I am completely alone, all the tourists have gone until next season.

 

It's funny you mention the woods. When I was much younger and needed time away from home (before I left for good at 16) I used to retreat to thte woods to find solice. Most people would have found it eery. I found it peaceful.

[Jay]

I think about death. No matter what I'm still going to end up dead so I might as well relax and enjoy myself in the meantime.

[offense74]

I think about death.

 

Hey, whatever floats your boat !!

[Phoenix]

SeaSiren, you're right. Trees, woods, those types of areas are very powerful areas and that's why most of us find so much peace there. All plants have therapeutic effects because they are inherently peaceful.

They are natural extensions of earth energy which is above all, a loving and sustaining energy. It's like we're being held in the arms of a divine mother. It is said that earth energy is more positve and therefore flows to you, bringing with it, gentle empowerment. Where water is more negatively charged and is more relaxing, drawing negativity from you. So both are important in balancing ourselves.

 

Yup, I'm a tree hugger.

 

Actually Jay is onto something there as morbid as it sounds. There is a very "enlightening" meditative sequence/exercise where you allow your mind to first focus on your grave site, then to your coffin and then to your body. You also allow your mind to visualize the decomposition of your physical body, and so on. Anyway, it is a useful tool for putting things into perspective as well as expanding one's awareness. But that's another bedtime story for some other time ..........

[SeaSiren]

Actually Jay is onto something there as morbid as it sounds. There is a very "enlightening" meditative sequence/exercise where you allow your mind to first focus on your grave site, then to your coffin and then to your body. You also allow your mind to visualize the decomposition of your physical body, and so on. Anyway, it is a useful tool for putting things into perspective as well as expanding one's awareness. But that's another bedtime story for some other time ..........

 

Eeeek! I'm being cremated!

[Kathryn]

I try to make "pockets" of time when I just do what I want. No "shoulds" or "musts." No obilgations. No heavy thinking.

 

I'm lucky that as a professor, I have a bit more control of my time, so I request to never have a class before 10 a.m. And since I'm a tenured full professor, I get what I ask for, at least in this case.

 

In the morning, I spend some time online visiting the 4 fitness-related forums I subscribe to (it would be less time if I hadn't found those last two, including this one. ). I drink my morning smoothie, and "chat" with my on-line pals.

 

On my days off, I do make a list of things to do, but I've given myself permission to put off some things until later, which I sometimes do. Last weekend, I skipped my Saturday "to do" list and decided to watch some movies instead (after visiting the shelter cats).

 

(Unfortunately, this attitude is making my home much messier than I would like! But I'm dealing with that by working on it little by little, and decluttering: donating and recycling whatever I don't need. I think if you can avoid clutter---too late for me at this point!--it's much less stressful. Don't know if there's actual feng shue (sp?) involved, but the vibes are much nicer.)

 

Spending time with my cats and the cats at the shelter is often calming as well.

 

It's also good to learn to say "no"! I've been editor of our departmental newsletter for 12 years (!), and I finally decided I don't want to deal with it anymore, especially since most of it is done during our December "break." I decided that I will use it as an actual break.

 

I used to spend more time in the office, and even go in on weekends at times. Then I decided to make sure to have most of my preparation done during the regular weekday, between classes. Now, I can avoid the office most weekends.

 

Relaxing hobbies are nice as well. When I bought a house, I removed the grass in the front (I think lawns are a waste of space for the most part) and put in new dirt. Then I gradually planted mass quantitites of bird- and butterfly-attracting plants on one side, with the other side being 1/3 annual flowers, 1/3 herbs and garden plants and 1/3 perennials --butterfly bushes and berry plants; the latter being for me!

 

Above all, it's important to have a sense of humor.

 

I find I can be much less stressed if I can turn a stressful situation (I'd say 99% of them involve other human beings!) into something funny.

 

So when an a-hole cuts me off in traffic, it's easier to deal with if I think of the guy as a "poopie head" or some other unserious insult. I mean, who can be serious while thinking of "poopie head"? Makes me laugh more than be angry. (though I admit I'm not always copacetic, and can get really riled up at people.)

[_raVen_]

sorry to hear you're so stressed, robert

 

I cardio when I'm stressed, lol. Going for a long run relieves a lot of anxiety and helps me relax, if not wipe me out so not sure if that's what you're looking for.

 

I also like to rent an old favorite film or, if you can find one, a funny one is good.

I often call one of my sisters because I know I'll be rolling in no time

and laughing is always a good tension tamer.

 

Also, a long hot bath (especially after exercise, but not necessary) is so soothing. At the end of the day, it's especially nice. I know it sounds cliche, but creating an ambiance is nice. I like to dim the lights and light some candles, shut out extraneous noises. This (low light) sets your body and mind ready for sleep.

 

Reading is nice too.

 

Turn off the ringer on the phone!

 

I wish I could meditate; but I've never really been able to do it. If you can, most people say it is very worthwhile.

 

If you like tea, some herbals are created especially for relaxing.

 

Going to a museum is very relaxing. It's stimulating, but it doesn't have the same effect as a stressful stimulation.

 

I like to go antiquing occasionally. There are usually a lot of consignment and antique shops clustered together in one area of town. Browsing is nice and relaxing and there's no pressure or urgency to buy. Most don't anyway.

 

How about playing a game? Chess? Checkers? Even if you want to be alone, you can find someone to play with online. They even have beginners, intermediate, etc., levels. You could make some game-playing buddies

[Jay]

I think about death.

 

Hey, whatever floats your boat !!

Well go to university for 9 years, make good grades and then have one pyscho boss destroy your career. Now you can't get a job in your profession and you're overqualified for everything else. The stress got so bad as a result you might need surgery for one of many health problems that suddenly come up. The house you were tricked into buying you are going to lose 25,000 in the selling. And every week that goes by still unemployed you are slowly being murdered for all intents and purposes.

And there's nothing (legal) you can do. Nothing, nothing, nothing.

 

If it ever happens to you just remember my relaxation technique. I have plenty of others in my arsenal that I use everyday as necessary but that's the ace.

[_raVen_]

Morrissey wrote a line, "I think about life and I think about death. And neither one particularly appeals to me."

 

I can understand that sentiment sometimes.

[Phoenix]

Hey Jay,

Without minimizing what you've gone through, I personally think that you're in the perfect position to "get back up". But perhaps not. I know exactly what you're talking about and I bet there are others here that do as well.

 

It's a place where you have considered ALL options. It is so dark and heavy that you can't breath. You oscillate between rage and panick and you feel like a wild animal pacing back and forth in a cage.

The negativity in all its forms; rage, hate, helplessness, pain, self/other blame, victimization, etc., etc., eating you from the inside out.

 

If you think you've hit rock bottom and have come to the conclusion that there's nothing more you can do, then perhpas we can take this off-line.

 

It took me years and years of fighting, destroying myself and the relationships I had with those around me. You know the old line.....not recognizing yourself in the mirror or worse, ed at what you see in the mirror.

 

There comes a very quiet time when you realize that you can't do it any longer.

I've learned since then that what I feared was fluff and B.S. And in the end it was meaningless.

 

It comes down to Awareness to surrender to peace

 

Who the hell started this post anyway????

[veggymeggy]

You've seen me stress Robert...I don't deal well!

I stress really easily, and when I do I get completely fixated and really struggle to relax.....for me, none of the "calming" sorts of things work, ie, meditation, music, soft sounds and down time.....I get tons of nervous stress energy and I have to get it OUT.

SO - I have a few different ways of dealing, some of which are healthy and some of which are absolutely not. In the absolutely not category, and which doesn't work for you Robert is drinking and related activities. Doesn't solve anything, sometimes makes it worse, but the mental break is great!

In the slightly healthier category....I do ridiculous amounts of cardio. I will literally run until I fall down.

Sometimes I combine them....last time things got really bad for me, my lifestyle got almost bizarre. Up at dawn, gym for a few hours, work all day, gym for another hour or two, out to the bars, grab 4 hours of sleep or so, and back to the gym.....yikes.

Knowing you though....I think you should try some sort of meditation or scheduled down time sort of thing....you don't get hyped up the way I do when you're stressed out, so those things would probably work better for you, imo.

[offense74]

I think about death.

 

Hey, whatever floats your boat !!

Well go to university for 9 years, make good grades and then have one pyscho boss destroy your career. Now you can't get a job in your profession and you're overqualified for everything else. The stress got so bad as a result you might need surgery for one of many health problems that suddenly come up. The house you were tricked into buying you are going to lose 25,000 in the selling. And every week that goes by still unemployed you are slowly being murdered for all intents and purposes.

And there's nothing (legal) you can do. Nothing, nothing, nothing.

 

If it ever happens to you just remember my relaxation technique. I have plenty of others in my arsenal that I use everyday as necessary but that's the ace.

That's just aweful. Things will pick up though, I'm sure.

I went to the university for (only) 5 years (Msc in copmuting science) and I work as a janitor . I love my job though, no stress, no overtime, etc. I also managed to get a psycho boss. I quit there after only 3 months because I coldn't degrade myself for that st***d bia**ch any longer.

 

I have no problem relaxing. I just lie down and fall asleep .

[Jay]

Hey Jay,

Without minimizing what you've gone through, I personally think that you're in the perfect position to "get back up". But perhaps not. I know exactly what you're talking about and I bet there are others here that do as well.

 

It's a place where you have considered ALL options. It is so dark and heavy that you can't breath. You oscillate between rage and panick and you feel like a wild animal pacing back and forth in a cage.

The negativity in all its forms; rage, hate, helplessness, pain, self/other blame, victimization, etc., etc., eating you from the inside out.

 

If you think you've hit rock bottom and have come to the conclusion that there's nothing more you can do, then perhpas we can take this off-line.

 

It took me years and years of fighting, destroying myself and the relationships I had with those around me. You know the old line.....not recognizing yourself in the mirror or worse, ed at what you see in the mirror.

 

There comes a very quiet time when you realize that you can't do it any longer.

I've learned since then that what I feared was fluff and B.S. And in the end it was meaningless.

 

It comes down to Awareness to surrender to peace

 

Who the hell started this post anyway????

Hey thanks Phoenix, it's rock bottom for this career I had. Not like my whole life. It's extremely angering because the last 9 years were very hard. Not very fun at all. So for it all to be wasted is tough, but I think I'm coping. I just pointed out part of my circumstances to show that I've really had to work hard to find ways to relax. So my "thinking of death" is really one that works.

 

Anyway I appreciate your concern very much. Thank you.

[Jay]

That's just aweful. Things will pick up though, I'm sure.

I went to the university for (only) 5 years (Msc in copmuting science) and I work as a janitor . I love my job though, no stress, no overtime, etc. I also managed to get a psycho boss. I quit there after only 3 months because I coldn't degrade myself for that st***d bia**ch any longer.

 

I have no problem relaxing. I just lie down and fall asleep .

Thank you for sharing. Thanks for pointing out that this sort of thing happens all the time in our grossly inefficient capitalist system.

I'm glad you're doing OK.

[Phoenix]

That's good to hear Jay. I guess I read a little too much into it and you touched a nerve there . Sometimes I just go off.

 

I'll just back out now.... Just talk amongst yourselves........

[Evan]

For me, if it's the accumulating type of stress that comes from procrastination, I like to take a day off (procrastinate a bit more I guess) gather my mental focus and go to the lake.

 

If it's the over whelming type of stress that you get from your boss and co-workers being a-holes to you several days in a row, then cardio cardio cardio. I really agree with that one. Especially when it's something you can't really do anything about.

 

Like you, I'm also a massage therapist and I love massage for relaxation too but it can be expensive. I do trades with a fellow MT. That works out pretty well.

Edited August 14, 2006 by Evan

[Odidnetne]

If my calories permit, I'll eat an avocado and listen to some "sounds of nature" and try to meditate, normally by lighting incense too.

[Tiggerwoos]

I do yoga as I find that very beneficial, read a comical and lighthearted book, have a cup of camomile tea, have a cuddle with one of my animals and more recently have started training to be a Reiki Master and am currently at level 1, so do a self-treatment on myself.

[andesuma]

Like has been mentioned, there are soo many different kinds of stressors in this life,

I tend to do something different with each one...

 

Acupuncture sessions really help me feel revitalized and healthy

(I get them every 2 months, or as I feel necessary)..

I run for some, I do Pilates for others(mostly accomplishment stressors),

dancing, practicing gentle yoga for general relaxation.

I also plan a lot of the time, because I find that dissecting situations, breaking them down to there raw interior

and growing from there, really helps and keeps me focused;

without the stress.

 

 

Above all though... I do find organic produce to be the best stress reliever.

Especially grapes and strawberries.. : )

[Guest]

I like to watch DVDs until my eyes swell...while I do that I stretch out whatever needs stretched and moreso. Its relaxing and beneficial beyond the rest...I'd like to get a massage but can't afford it here...when I go to the Philippines I get one almost everyday for 3weeks...only $5 for an hour....we make sure we tip on top of that but its still really cheap and I've actually enjoyed those more than the $80 ones here. The only comperable massage came from my brothers old girlfriend who was a qualifyer for the olympic trials in the 50 and 100freestyle...so really I just have trouble finding people strong enough to make it hurt the right way.

[Richard]

Eat lots of food but don't go to the toilet, then in the evening have a long relaxing poo whilst reading the disinfectant and toilet cleaners nearby.