Evan Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 Hi Everyone. Anyone else out there get frustrated from time to time with other people's reaction when you tell them they are veg*n? Especially older people that I work with, when they find out generally say nice things like "good for you" or "that shows you have some determination" but I can tell they are really thinking "koo koo, koo koo" I've had people treat me differently after they find out I was vegan, in a negative way. They speak slower around me as if I were too stupid to understand them, the explain things in more detail than they would for anyone else, they don't expect as much from me physically. I want to say "I'm vegan, not disabled!" Isn't it amazing? People think you have to eat beef once a week or more to be a capable thriving person when just the opposite is closer to true. Then with younger people closer to my age, I sometimes get ugly looks when I am offered something and I tell them I can't have it because I'm vegan. They think I'm being a snob or being rude for declining a gift of food, which is not true because I always act gracious everytime someone puts a plate of brisket in my face even though I really want to turn away and make an ugly face, I don't. I think this is just another case of guilty concious manifesting itself in a bad way. I remember when I was a kid and other boys would invite me on hunting trips and I would say "No way, Jose!" they would be shocked. I'd tell them I didn't want to kill anything and they'd be like "it's just a bird (quail hunting) and then I'd see them a few days later at school and I could tell that the wheels had been turning. They still went on their hunting trips but they never used the "it's just a bird" argument again later unless they used up all their other arguements first like "we eat what we shoot, we need to be able to hunt in case of nuclear melt down, it's self defense those quails are dangerous, etc." I have never once berated someone for eating meat. I know it's not the way to get people to see the light. I think it would more likely close them off to the idea of ever going veg*n. I don't run around telling everyone that what they are eating makes me want to puke or that my shit smells nicer than theirs because I don't have muscle tissue rotting in my colon. I could but I don't and I never take a superior tone when I speak of veganism with people who ask questions about it. I am very careful and intentional with how I present and REPRESENT veganism so it's frustrating when I get those "koo koo" looks or "what? you are too good for my grandma's sirloin???" Sorry for the rant, I just had a circular discussion with a hunter and I had to vent a little bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cristian Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 Evan wrote:Then with younger people closer to my age, I sometimes get ugly looks when I am offered something and I tell them I can't have it because I'm vegan. This is a tricky one, happened to me at work few times, people offering chocolate or cakes. Not many people know I'm vegan and some assume I'm vegetarian as there are two other vegetarians working there and we often talk about food or animal rights. I think some people don't realise that vegan means no to ordinary cakes etc., so they may get offended if one refuses too often.I did accept once or twice without eating which is probably worse. It's better to refuse and explain if asked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
compassionategirl Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 I think this is just another case of guilty concious manifesting itself in a bad way. Exactly. Some of the other points in your post were funny, like "quails are dangerous so we have to protect ourselves", etc etc. Evan, rant anytime. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
compassionategirl Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 Here is something to try: Somebody offers us chocolate. I say no thanks, I am vegan. They look at me with the same attitude you describe above, so I proceed to explain myself as I dont appreciate the snarky look.I ask her "If I put a dead, whole in tact, freshly slaughtered and unprocessed animal on a plate and offered it to you as food, would you be offended?" of course, there is no answer, only a look of shock and confusion. "Well, that is why I dont eat chocolate. I have made that connection and I see chocolate for what it really is. So thank-you, but no thank-you." Because I really think that people forget that cakes and chocolates etc are animal foods too. Even I when I was vegetarian only would have a hard time with foods like that because it isnt an "obvious" chunk of corpse staring you in the face. Cristian: How is that vegetarian girl coming along? Has she gone vegan yet? I think ethical vegetarians eventually will (hopefully) go vegan, if they are motivated by ethical reasons. For example, consuming dairy supports the veal industry. There is no arguing around this fact. It is a fact. plain and simple. The veal industry is a by-product of the dairy industry, and so like Kathryn said, in every glass of milk or behind every peice of cheese is a dary calf. You can always show them that egg link that I posted and you saw. If that doesnt turn people off eggs, i dont know what would... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_raVen_ Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 and they'd be like "it's just a bird (quail hunting) Well, this is the place you should be able to rant and vent; so I say, Rant away! I haven't had that experience. No one does that to me. Are you apprehensive when you mention it or vague? People pick up on things like that and, if convicted (guilty), they will act offensive and/or defensive. Instead of listening or thinking about it, they want to immediately clear their conscience and feel justified in their behavior -- that happens a lot. Good thing you don't show irritation, though; that will just give them more reason to continue their way of thinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_raVen_ Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 ...I think some people don't realise that vegan means no to ordinary cakes etc., so they may get offended if one refuses too often.I did accept once or twice without eating which is probably worse. It's better to refuse and explain if asked. Yea, I've experienced my grandma feeling offended She took it personal, but then she quickly got over it. I've not had anyone else get nutty over it, though; so I sympathize with you guys that it does happen to. It's really unfair to put you in that postion -- to put a "guilt trip" on you...Dad still makes a sport of making fun of me He's such a brat, though. I agree with you about refusing and explaining. I've read a lot of vegans feel this is rude and suggest that we just take it/or eat it so as not to offend. Not me. Why would I let what someone else thinks rule my decisions? I make my own decisions about my life. Of course, I would be polite and express appreciation, but would refuse gracefully. They'll get over it.Only petty people would hold a grudge over something so trivial! Who wants to be around that anyway? I wouldn't; not for long anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evan Posted February 19, 2006 Author Share Posted February 19, 2006 and they'd be like "it's just a bird (quail hunting) Well, this is the place you should be able to rant and vent; so I say, Rant away! I haven't had that experience. No one does that to me. Are you apprehensive when you mention it or vague? People pick up on things like that and, if convicted (guilty), they will act offensive and/or defensive. Instead of listening or thinking about it, they want to immediately clear their conscience and feel justified in their behavior -- that happens a lot. Good thing you don't show irritation, though; that will just give them more reason to continue their way of thinking. I don't think I'm apprehensive. Vague, maybe. I'm a pretty passive person. I don't get in people's faces about being vegan. But I don't hide it or act likes it's a secret either. I basically just state it as a fact. But I have never been a good salesman. I couldn't sell a mansion for a dollar, so imagine trying to get people to give up their beloved fleshy addictions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kollision Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 Funny that they think you are a "snob" or "better". Actually it is them, because they continue to torture and kill these precious creatures. Pretty ironic, aye? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 Yeah it's difficult to tell work people. My funding was from DHS and they've been targeting vegans. ACLU has a lawsuit against them right now. So maybe I should have just lied. I got escorted out of the building one day out of the blue, no explanation. Looks like scientific career is ruined. At recent interviews I've been taken out to lunch. And I didn't tell them I was vegan. One was a steak place where the only other option was a salad. And that had eggs and cheese all over it. I picked at it anyway, as I'd like to not end up homeless. ETC. Great fucking world we live in where I feel like I have to conceal that I'm compassionate in order to be allowed to work for a living. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evan Posted February 20, 2006 Author Share Posted February 20, 2006 Yeah it's difficult to tell work people. My funding was from DHS and they've been targeting vegans. ACLU has a lawsuit against them right now. So maybe I should have just lied. I got escorted out of the building one day out of the blue, no explanation. Looks like scientific career is ruined. At recent interviews I've been taken out to lunch. And I didn't tell them I was vegan. One was a steak place where the only other option was a salad. And that had eggs and cheese all over it. I picked at it anyway, as I'd like to not end up homeless. ETC. Great fucking world we live in where I feel like I have to conceal that I'm compassionate in order to be allowed to work for a living. That is WILD and totally sucky! I hope they get the pants sued offa them. Bastardos... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cristian Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 Unbelievable Jay, being part of a "minority" really sucks sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 Yea, I've experienced my grandma feeling offended She took it personal, but then she quickly got over it. I had a funny experience with my grandma when I turned vegetarian. She seemed to take it pretty much in stride, but when I gave up sugar, she replied with a shocked/hurt "You don't eat SUGAR!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 I had a vegetarian boyfriend once (French, and he came back to the states with me) who accepted an offer of pizza (with meat) from my father (I turned it down!). I asked him (in French, nice that nobody else undestood) how that makes him a vegetarian, and he said there's a difference between being a vegetarian and being rude. WTF? Dumb s(*@# like that is one reason we'd broken up a few weeks previously! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kollision Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 Is sugar non vegan or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CollegeB Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 Something about bone char, we've discussed this one a few times. Try runnin a search for it. I think Nat started it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kollision Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 Thanks Brian. I really want to know. Splenda, and all artificial sugers also in the same situation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willpeavy Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 Some people used to harass me about it in high school. But I've never had any problems in the workplace, most people I've met don't seem to care what I eat. I guess I'm lucky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
compassionategirl Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 Is sugar non vegan or something? Some sugars are processed using bone char. But if I cant get my hands on anything else, then I will use the white sugar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaron Posted February 25, 2006 Share Posted February 25, 2006 It's been causing some drama for me recently. Girls I meet bitching about it. Like it's a character flaw. *sigh* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
compassionategirl Posted February 25, 2006 Share Posted February 25, 2006 It's been causing some drama for me recently. Girls I meet bitching about it. Like it's a character flaw. *sigh* If somebody thinks that being vegan is a character flaw, and cannot see, respect and even admire the kind of compassion, discipline, unselfishness and commitment to things greater than just one's own pathetic little life that it takes to be vegan, then that person truly does NOT deserve you and is a waste of your time. If being vegan is a character flaw, then being unselfish, kind, and conscious of things that affect more than just your own little life is also a character flaw, and that is just a stupid sentiment. So Aaron, f#@k' em. Find somebody a lil more intelligent and perceptive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaron Posted February 26, 2006 Share Posted February 26, 2006 Thanks Nat. : ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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