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but now I'll never surrender

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Hello MuskelKatze


I see that you are super determined and with temperament. You train hard! It's cool, but in my opinion you might be too harsh for yourself. Your BMI is perfect, so you don't have to be mad because of small weight moves. It's normal that our weight is sometimes 1kg higher ,sometimes 1kg lower than our usual weight. Well, you have a lot of sport, your muscles are growing, and they weight more than fat, so please don't be upset because of your weight. Weight means nothing. I think you should check your weight just once per a month, I know from autopsy that obsession about weight isn't healthy. It brings mood fluctuations and mood fluctuations are not helpfull when you need to control what you eat and how much to train. I think it's better to measure circuits and do photos once a month or twice than to use weight as an determinant.


+ I strongly believe that positive attitude helps in reaching goals.


I wish you all the best, remember to love yourself, and have fun on your path to being fit and strong!

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Thank you WonderWoman, that's very sweet of you :*




Today I attended to the new releases of les mills: 9:30 cx worx, 10:00 bodypump and 19:30 bodycombat.... It was nice, I would have liked to go to bodyattack too but I want to have energy for the 5 classes tomorrow ...


As for eating...it's not going well at all....since thet "bump on the road" (putting on weight) seems that my discipline has disappeared and I've been pigging out like crazy I hate myself for that... so much! that I sometimes wish I was another person... I like myself in every other aspect, I know I have to change some things (being less shy, more confident, less jealous...I'm working on all that and making progress!)...but the food...I sometimes think I'm a food addict...or emotional eater ... I really want to change that.... I have had a complete bar of chocolate (100 grams) in less than 24 hours :/... fuck!


So... I'm gonna start eating clean, clear cut, radical, mainly raw, unprocessed foods (but maybe also tofu and/or seitan in salads).... and protein powders, I think the sun warrior and vega can be considered raw (at least the package says that) but...unprocessed ????(well, that I don't think so but I'm going to have them anyway)


Maybe it will become somthing as natural for me as veganism...I don't even crave non-vegan things...cos they're not vegan! so maybe some day I won't crave processed foods....I HOPE SO!!!!!


I want to:


-be proud of myself

-be able to post what I eat everyday without having to be ashamed

-make people proud of my achievements in fitness and nutrition (In fitness it is already happening and I couldn't be happier!!!)

-have the feeling that I could tell everybody what I eat and they would be impressed and see me as a role model

-feel that I control food and food doesn't control me


IF I WANT SOMTHING I SHOULD GO FOR IT!!!! why is it so difficult for me to just eat right??!! I'm so ashamed of this posting!!! and I really hope that it is the last one dealing with this...that's not a training and nutrition journal, that's just my failure and... from now on, and I really mean NOW no failure is allowed:





I'm a bit stressed out too...my step-brother, with whom I practically shared flat (we're neighbors but spent a lot of time together) has a girlfriend now and almost no time for me...that's fine cos I'm in the gym a lot of time and I want to sleep enough but sometimes in the evening I feel lonely and maybe that's the reason I tend to overeat... I used to visit him for dinner and chatting a bit about the day since his place is 5 min. walking from mine and then I'd go home (where I didn't store any food but for breakfast) and practically go to bed.... Now all that has changed of course and I need to get adjusted to it... Fuck! I sometimes do really feel lonely....






Nutrition today (the daily disaster)


around 1700 calories (maybe more!)

around 150 carbs

around 100 protein

around 50 fat


I haven't really counted , it's just what I estimate... so maybe it was much more.... fuck! ... eatingwise it was an awful day ... trainingwise it was good tho







25 min CX worx (core training)

1 h. bodypump (light lifting)

1 h. bodycombat (cardio)



can't wait to tomorrow, the new choreos of bodycombat and bodypump with "my" trainer....I want to attend to his 5 classes like last monday...and that he says he's proud of me <3 <3 <3

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well, I'm proud of myself:





sun warrior 2 scoops

5 strawberries

oats (20 gr)



alad w/mushrooms, asparagus and seitan

sun warrior 1 scoop



1/2 banana

20 gr. oats w/ 5 strawberries

sun warrior (1 scoop)


post WO

Vega recovery accelerator


dinner salad w/ carrots, mushrooms and olive oil

vega protein powder

2 scoops sun warrior



Total :

calories about 1200

carbs: 80

protein : 165

fat : 25





1h bodycombat

20 min abs training

1h bodypump

20 min Crossfit

20 min abs training

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Hey MuscleKatze,


I agree with WonderWoman, you seem to be very hard on yourself. If you cheat, and everyone does to some degree, I wouldn't get too down on yourself. Yeah, don't be happy that you did it, but don't get so down that it depresses you.


Maybe you should try not focusing on exactly how many macros you are getting and just try to eat as healthy as possible. I personally don't keep up with all that info. I did once for a week or so, just to get an idea of where I am at generally. But some days you may be more hungry than others, when I am I eat more. In other words, follow the clues your body is giving you and not be set in a mind frame that I got to eat a certain amount of macros.


The one thing I would say concerning your macros which I mentioned to you before in another thread, is imo your protein intake is high. I weigh 60lbs more than you and you are eating over twice as much protein as me some days. My suggestion would be to cut back on the protein powders some and try to concentrate more on the amount of phytonutrients you are taking in.

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Thanks for your post, PhytoAthlete I apreciate your opinion and actually I think it's good advice


As for yesterday I did quite ok:

1 h. bodycombat

1 h. bodypump

20 mins abs training


Nutrition also ok, but I don't have my notebook here so I can't copy it, but it was ok....


As for today...well, I'm spending some days in Spain with my family and I wanted to visit a gym but in the one where my programms are offered, they don't offer one-day tickets for them :/ ...that's disappointing.... I will have to be without les mills for 5 days!!! and training at home, where my mom is, is really not an option.....Looking forward to go back home to normal life!!!!


Today I have had like lots and lots of calories and carbs... first day of "vacation" is normally a disaster!!! Despite of vacation I'm going to eat clean from tomorrow on...

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I'm so looking forward to going back to everyday life. I'm "on vacation" visiting family and didn't get to work out at all I have put on a bit of weight even when I'm trying to be "good" and...having too many carbs.... I tried to have this vega one regularly but I'm having a lot of gas, I'm thinking maybe because of not being used to... so now i`m switching to just tofu and tempe...but i'm so afraid of the fat!!! my body seems to react (gaining weight) to fats more than to carbs... does it make any sense?... I'm a bit desperate cos monday I will go to the gym again and I don't wnat to look fat there...vacation has been just 5 days...but still...enough to mess up everything...damn it!

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Yesterday: 1h. bodycombat

20 min abs training

1 h bodypump...


IT'S SO GOOD TO BE BACK HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




some push-ups at home this morning (I forgot to count again!!!)


1 h. bodycombat

1h bodypump

20 mins abs training





monday: low

tuesday: low

wednesday: high

thursday: low

friday: low

saturday: high

sunday: low


Low carb days: 126 protein// 52 fat// 63 carbs

High carb days: 147 protein// 31,5 fat//147 carbs


difficult! I've done only two days and the carbs were too high, yesterday 80, today 82,8... :/ so I don't know if I should do the high carb day anyway tomorrow....


I'm having too much all in all...today: protein 131,6// carbs 82,8// fat 49// about 1300 calories...


I've seen myself at the gym in the mirror and my arms look good, I like my legs...but this stupid belly fat won't go away!!! Even a "friend" of mine told me that it really doesn't match how my arms and legs are toned with my belly...meaning my belly is just...fat, flubby, not toned at all....

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I can't keep my carbs low . :\...


carbs 79

protein 170

fat 35


calories around 1300


1h bodypump

1h bodycombat

25 min cxworx


I'm trying to have 50 g. carbs a day.... it's not working even if I pay a lot of attention


I'm kinda down...maybe just tired... dunno...

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I contacted a nutritionist , who is a PT too... maybe he can give me some advice cos I'm confused about what programm to follow....




training and meals more or less as always and weight too



Edited by MuskelKatze
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Thursday was really good! : BODYPUMP; BODYCOMBAT + CX WORX... eating more or less like usual.... Got kinda good news or what it seemed good news...but now it has kinda stopped...well, I won't be impatient...




Friday I took a break from the gym and tried to do it low-carb, like in REALLY low...and had 57,9 , that I do consider low...



Today I wanted to do either bodycombat or attack and bodypump, planning on resting tomorrow but turns out a friend of mine will be conducting bodycombat tomorrow and I want to support her by being there so...I just did BODYATTACK today... Actually I was told by my (probably soon to be) PT that 5 days a week cardio is a bit much...and this week I'll be doing cardio 6 days a week.... but , well it's an exception


as for nutrition today:


calories about 1400

carbs: 83,5

protein 120,4

fat 59,9


I guess that's too much fat.....


As for my weight: 47,8 kilos (105.4 lbs) this morning...so pretty much as usual tho it makes me happy seeing a 7 on the scale instead of an 8....

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  • 3 months later...

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