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Hello from ChickyBabe


ChickyBabe
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hi everyone, I've been vegan for about two years now. Three years ago I was very overweight, then got my act together with exercise and better eating (though still omni). I ended up befriending a vegan personal trainer and turned vegan and never looked back. We trained together about five days a week (my trainer had a body building background) and I lost more weight and made some nice gains.

 

After about a year of training together (spotting eachother, etc-- we're also good friends who hung out together), our life circumstances changed so we were hitting the gym less. I also got sick and when I'd go to the gym to train on my own, I would end up leaving very depressed because I hadn't trained as hard as I would when I had my friend to spot me. I have anxiety and depression, so these things really got me down and although I was aware I had to learn to train on my own, because lots of BBs do, I also have the problem of being a perfectionist and the "go hard or go home" mentality was pretty much telling me "you're not going hard without your spotter, so go home". And then my visits got less and less, or I would plan to go and then get a last minute phone call about work, or change of plans. Add to all this being in a bit of a deep depression (not going to the gym made me feel worse, but I'd feel awful after solo workouts). And then I gave it up after my gym membership sat there doing nothing for three months. Although I had not reached a goal weight, I was happy with my achievements gains wise. I started off not being able to do a single proper toe push up, eventually I could push out two sets with increasing difficulty. Now I can only do two proper toe pushups before dropping to knees. I've still got a little bit of the biceps left, thank goodness

 

Since stopping the intense training about a year ago, and my mental health taking a big fat dive now that I've put on a little weight (5kg) since stopping the gym, I really want to get back in to it. My friend the trainer has moved away so I'll be totally solo (can't afford a trainer and don't want one, I know enough on my own and hate dealing with PTs who see a fat person and assume I know nothing about BB/heavy weight training especially for women). I'm working on the mental health stuff separately. Another big problem is that before I started lifting weights, I had chronic lower back pain and fine cracks in both balls of my feet. I was advised to lose weight, which I did, and the pain in my feet disappeared when I lost the first 10% of my body weight, then the second lot of 10%. Now with my 5kg weight gain, the pain in my feet and lower back has returned and I've been told not to do any weight bearing exercise and that I should again lose weight. I weigh 75kg (165lbs) and want to get back in to that weight bearing exercise, not avoid it!

 

So that's me. Is anyone else here living with anxiety/depression, where it does affect your ability to hit the gym? I felt great when I was going to the gym regularly (apart from the days where I had to train on my own). I'm confident I will start feeling great again when I walk in to the weights room and hear the clink clink and smell my stinky gloves

 

Right now I'm investigating my membership options, hopefully I will have good progress to report in time. Thanks for reading.

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Welcome! It sounds to me like you need to gain confidence in yourself! Although you may have been able to train a tiny bit harder with someone there to push you, remember without them there you still have your own mind and soul. I train mostly by myself, by choice, because I can concentrate more on the exercise as well as visualizing myself accomplishing the task at hand. Your mind can do incredible things if you know how to use it. Simply imagining yourself getting stronger, feeling the strength going into the exercise, feel your heart pumping, feeling the nutrients flowing to your muscles when you exert force can increase your confidence and excitement in working out and further increasing gains and overall mood....letting out a little vocalization never hurt either

 

Progress is in your future! All you need to do is see your at accomplishing your goal and believe it!

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[quote name="I also got sick and when I'd go to the gym to train on my own' date=' I would end up leaving very depressed because I hadn't trained as hard as I would when I had my friend to spot me. I have anxiety and depression, so these things really got me down and although I was aware I had to learn to train on my own, because lots of BBs do, I also have the problem of being a perfectionist and the "go hard or go home" mentality was pretty much telling me "you're not going hard without your spotter, so go home."

hate dealing with PTs who see a fat person and assume I know nothing about BB/heavy weight training especially for women". [/quote]

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when I'd go to the gym to train on my own, I would end up leaving very depressed because I hadn't trained as hard as I would when I had my friend to spot me. I have anxiety and depression, so these things really got me down and although I was aware I had to learn to train on my own, because lots of BBs do, I also have the problem of being a perfectionist and the "go hard or go home" mentality was pretty much telling me "you're not going hard without your spotter, so go home".

 

hate dealing with PTs who see a fat person and assume I know nothing about BB/heavy weight training especially for women

 

 

1. After getting back to the grind, you understandably have to start all over again. The competition here is not about lifting heavier than you used to, it's about the constant struggle of being better each day.

2. Go hard or go home, is a great motivational phrase when used in the right way, but when this starts becoming an obstacle, remember that some work is better than no work. Low intensity workouts are still a 100% more than doing no work outs.

3. Don't worry yourself with the how the PT's look at you or how people undermine you because you're fat. It's easy to lose focus and get derailed. Remember what you're there to do and hustle. "A lion doesn't concern himself with the opinion of the sheep" - Lord Tywin, GoT

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  • 4 weeks later...

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