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I agree completely. The way I see it is if you're hellbent on your goal then sometimes you have to go through hell to get there. The time will pass regardless of whether your workout was a good one or bad one. Everyone loves motivation this and motivation that, but the true test of willpower is when you keep going when you DON'T have that motivation. I always feel like crap before a work out, my body is -just- starting to get adjusted to a schedule, but I get that high about 10 minutes in and I'm like..yep this is why I'm doing this. I have six months to be where I need to be to get where I need to go.

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I did too much yesterday. My sciatica is bitching a fit. I need to know my boundaries, just because I have the desire to do it doesn't mean my body is there yet. The desire will fuel it so I'll be fine. I made it through one cycle of that 101 circuit and man burpees suck. Suck so hard lol. So after I realized that, I did my ab circuit and did some sprinting on the treadmill, then did a 3 mile bike ride. I'll finish out this week's training and do a different way next week. I'm thinking of doing the Couch to 5K program, I'll have to do it by hand because I don't have a way to get the app but I really need to start running. I can't expect to move other people around on the mat down the road when I can't move my own body. If anyone isn't aware of what the Couch to 5K program is, it's on cool running.com. It's basically a way that breaks down a combo of running and walking for 20 minutes, 3 days a week for 8 weeks and builds it up gradually until you can run for 30 mins, or 3 miles (5K) without walking or stopping. I have no desire to run more than 3 miles, I just think that will be decent roadwork for BJJ. So my training schedule starting next week and continuing for the next two months will be:


Sun- Abs

Mon- Couch to 5K and Abs

Tues- Magic 50 and Abs

Wed- Couch to 5K and Abs

Thurs- Magic 50 and Abs

Fri- Couch to 5K and Abs

Sat- Abs


It looks mundane but it isn't because on the Magic 50 (swings, snatches and lat pulldowns for 5 circuits, see previous posts), I will be increasing the weight gradually to increase the intensity. I believe that abs should be trained daily because the core is so important and I have lower back problems so this could help that (sit ups and crunches aren't involved so I'm hoping it won't hurt my back). I think I should incorporate Yoga down the road, like on the weekends, but for now this is enough.


Today is payday so we're going to be grocery shopping (gonna make chili tomorrow) and rent paying, maybe strolling around town, if I get back in time I'm gonna hit the pool for a few laps before work. Does anyone else have problems fitting training into an inconsistent work schedule? Some days I'm working mornings and am up at 5:30am and other days I'm working until 10pm and not hitting bed until 11:30pm. It's crazy.


Side note: My shirt size is officially a large. Went from a 2X to an XL to an L. I only have one L shirt, the rest are XL and I'm a little scared to actually start buying larges now but, yay I'm a large. Comfy large, not snug or fitted.


Have a good day everyone!

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Best news ever.


I bought a scale today and practically sprinted home with it. I am 193lbs!! I thought I was like 200-205, which I would have been fine with but holy crap I'm out of the 200s by 7 pounds! I haven't been 193 in 9 years. That means I've lost 62lbs since my journey began, and have lost 15lbs since May 1st and I haven't even been training to my fullest extent yet. I have one month progress pictures but I can't post them until I get my net back up, might be another week or two, some things are just more important. I can actually see the outer line of my abs around my ribcage. Hell, I can actually SEE my ribcage. So crazy. I'm in complete shock. So I've lost 62lbs, my wife is down 80lbs and my dog is down 4lbs. (Which is a lot for a terrier) My wife and I were talking about this just a few minutes ago actually, when your weight begins to affect your mental well being, the journey you go on to lose it is so much deeper than just getting the weight off. There are days you still see yourself the same weight you were before your journey started. There are days when you can't stop flexing in the mirror because you can actually see body parts you couldn't see in a decade. And then there are days when your jeans are sagging past your hips and you can't help but smile to yourself and nod…then figure out when you're going to afford new jeans. I don't think I've been in a better place in my life than where I am right now. And it has nothing to do with training or nutrition. So many times you have people saying "one cookie isn't going to hurt you" "one ice cream cone isn't going to make you gain the weight back." And true, it's not. But how it makes you FEEL is more important than the physical cause and effect of "just one cookie." When you've had an eating disorder for years, and you've overcome it, especially when it is a binge eating disorder, you know what foods you should.not.go.near. Because there are foods I cannot eat just one of. I am not physically able (yet) to eat one chip. Or a serving of chips and dip. I will eat the whole family size bag in one setting. And the next day go out and get another bag. That's how this all started years ago. While I don't think you are ever totally "cured" of an eating disorder, you learn that you have control and you begin to care about that control. So for someone to tell me "one cookie isn't going to hurt you." You're right, it's not going to hurt me because I'm not going to let it, because it already has. My binge eating stemmed from my mother who had anorexia as a teen and surpassed it because she had kids to raise but once we were old enough to look in the fridge ourselves, she started on us. My brother has hints of it, saying he's fat when he's 130lbs at 5'8. I was called every name in the book by her when I was a child because I went the opposite way, I ate. And to her, I ate too much. Because I wanted to eat 6x a day being a 16 year old, like most teen boys eat, and she was barely letting me have 3 meals a day. So when I moved out, and in with my wife, I felt that freedom, that enjoyment of fast food restaurants and eating more meals and being so content with feeling full for once, that it spiraled hardcore. And my wife, while seeing this happen, loved me (still does) unconditionally. Knowing my upbringing she wasn't about to ruin this pseudo happiness I got from food. But down the road it wasn't so happy anymore but I didn't care. It's what I knew. In 2012 I had something life altering happen. Something that only happens to a small percentage of people in this world. Something that weeded out the people who genuinely cared about me from those who wouldn't piss on me if I were on fire. So my view on food has changed for the better. I know what I need to steer clear from. I know what I can enjoy just once and I know, for the most part, how to eat to where it is benefitted my body. No, one ice cream won't affect me. Physically. But mentally, it will bring me back to how I felt before my life altering decision. And it's not a good feeling. While I realize this isn't a healthy thing and is probably somewhere along the lines of orthorexia…I am healthier for it. My body is healthy. My bloodwork is textbook perfect. My levels are where they should be. My mentality is lighter, I'm truly happy. And best of all, my pants don't cut off my circulation and I actually LOVE training because I can move.


Actually the best part of losing 62lbs is the fact that I can look down and see "mini tank." (Any guy who has been overweight and loses it can relate to this little piece of personal happiness, cmon)

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I love how my stomach looks and feels with no beans and minimal grains in my diet. The only grains I eat are at dinner time when I have gluten free cereal.


I've decided to get out of the 190s by the end of this month. So 3-4lbs to lose in 2.5 weeks? Doable.


I ran this morning. I went against the Couch to 5K plan because one…I haven't the patience to start and stop and two, I don't have a smartphone for the app so it's a constant look at a watch which screws up my rhythm and blah. It's a good program for others, not for me. So this morning I slept past the 5:30am alarm which would have allowed me to run outside in the dark, and woke at 8am, to which I would normally say screw it and "schedule" a run tomorrow but instead I hit the gym and jumped on the treadmill.


This stocky tank thudded on the treadmill for a mile. (My plan is to run a mile daily until I can run it without walking, then move on to two miles, then three. Three miles (5K) without walking is my goal) With a couple of walks in between I did a sub 13min mile. At 12:57. This is actually the best mile I've done since I was 12 years old. (During those dreaded fitness tests in P.E. class) Last year I tried running and it took me 17 minutes, I got so disheartened I never tried again until now. I'm actually excited by it now. This has been an amazing week with the surprise weight loss and now a PR in running. Last night I did the Magic 50 with 25lbs for the full 5 circuits. Another PR. So, breaking it down, my training in the last 24 hours was:


Magic 50


5 dumbbell swings per arm (25lbs)

5 dumbbell clean and presses per arm (25lbs)

10 lat pull downs


Repeat x5.




Russian Twists 2x10

In Outs 2x10

Flutter Kicks 2x10

Scissor Kicks 2x10

V Ups 2x10


1 mile run.


I pull night shift tonight and morning shift tomorrow so tomorrow my run will either be at 5:30am before work, or 10pm at night, because I want to run outside and with my self consciousness it needs to be dark. Along with Magic 50 at the gym.

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I land really hard when I run. I have shin splits (splints?) from my last run oh well. I need new shoes so that may have something to do with it. Found out the Rail Trail (running/walking/biking in the woods paved trail) that's behind our apartment has mile markers on the trail itself, and street signs of the streets above us that the trail runs under. I've found markers for my 1, 2 and 3 mile training so when I miss my morning pre dawn run, I can run during the day anyway in the seclusion of the trail. Damn self consciousness. Have some errands to run, then will be hitting the gym and doing:


1 mile run

Magic 50

5K on the elliptical.



Upping my cardio from now on because I don't want to be gaining muscle without ditching the fat and having the scale weigh heavy. Will be doing a 1st of the month weigh in each month.


Side note: There is a chance I won't be starting BJJ in the Spring next year. Over the course of the next couple months, I'll be taking my wife to various OBGYNs to gather a high risk team and their approval to possibly expanding our family. If they approve and give the a-OK for her to be pregnant…I'll be in training to be a father rather than a JiuJitsu artist next year.

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Skipped the gym yesterday and am going to skip it today too. Yesterday I worked an 8 hour shift hauling 280lbs worth of...things I'd rather not mention on this forum. So I got my lifts in. Today I just need some rest, doing night shift until 10pm tonight so a little recovery would be good. Off tomorrow so back to the grind.

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I'd like it better if the tread was wider. My running form leaves much to be desired and instead of running in an almost one-foot-in-front-of-the-other straight line, I run so my feet land side by side so treadmills don't feel stable. But my self consciousness is still up and running too much for me to run in the daylight.

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Alright, net's back on so as promised, here are my one month progress pictures.






And for days when I'm not loving my body, here's to putting things in perspective:




This is the full 62lb weight loss from 255lbs two years ago to 193lbs today at 5'6.

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More like the Magic 30 instead of the Magic 50, I upped the weight from 25lb dumbbells to 30lb dumbbells and upped the lat pulldown from 50lbs to 60lbs, I got three circuits done before I got a really painful headrush so I stopped, did my abs and went onto wifey's training. (She pulled 50lbs btw.) Now settling in for the night with post workout food. Tuna salad with crackers for her, seeds, raisins and gluten free cocoa pebbles trail mix for me. I put my scale away until weigh in on the 1st. I mean away away, in another room on the other side of the apartment, in the closet. Have a good night everyone.

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Training will be taking a backseat until I can get some sleep. Last night the missus was sick, this morning I was sick. Had to wake up twice in the middle of the night, only to be at work at 7am, then tomorrow I'm working from 1:30pm to 10pm, then Tuesday I'm on 8am to 4pm, it's just...a lot. Plus we're getting down to the last week of the month, rent's due so food's not in real abundance, I don't want to be using it up on post workouts. My weigh in is in 10 days so we'll see what happens then. I'm honestly so thrilled with being out of the 200's after all these years, being in the 190's isn't that bad. So if my log winds up slacking down the forum a little bit this week, I'm not being lazy, I'm just trying to balance everything. Sometimes I can only get my training in a couple days a week, some weeks I can do more. I guess it's better than nothing. Have a good week everyone.

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impressive photos of your progress!


And finally, someone who understands balance of life and working out. And doesn't see it as an excuse to just say f*ck it and give up saying it isn't doable. Luv how you can weave work, eating, budget, and fitness goals set for yourself with a realistic perception.


Keep inspiring with your posts!

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Thank you, I never thought of myself as real inspiring but that's awesome.


Sometimes people get turned off by training because of their life and others become gymoholics for the same reason. I'm just trying to be a better version of me for myself and my family. We're planning on expanding our family within the next year or so and how good of a father am I going to be if I can barely walk 10 steps, ya know? On the other hand, how good of a father am I going to be if I work and workout too much to even stay awake to change a diaper? Sure everyone has 30 minutes to get a work out in, but ya know what? Sometimes I'm just too tired to get that work out in, there isn't anything wrong with listening to your body, to your spouse, or to your wallet. In the end, the things that need to be done take precedence over the things that want to be done.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Been a while since I've updated. I took a hiatus from training. My wife and I have been talking about expanding our family and so my thoughts were consumed by that. That said, I haven't gained weight. I haven't lost any either but hey lol, glass is half full. I got approved for a job working for the state that pays me to work from home, just waiting for the paperwork to go through. Will probably be about a month or so longer. It pays more, and won't have me deal with working where I work now. I work at a deli. Yeah. A vegetarian in a deli. Sounds like some punchline to a bad joke. I hate it. The waste. The desecration. The...you guys get the picture. Plus I sliced off a literal chunk of my finger today on the slicer cause of someone's love for thick corned beef. Anyway, so a few more weeks of that and I'll be free.


My diet's been decent, not as clean as I'd prefer but decent. I'm wanting to clean it up and get back on track. I have 25lbs to lose for goal. Though my goals have changed and are much much too personal to be sharing on here. I've caught myself habitually scanning the fridge and pantry despite that I'm not hungry. But at least I can recognize it's just habit and not hunger so I stop myself. Improvements are improvements no matter how small. I've lost my taste for sweets and junk. It's kind of depressing but I just don't care for them anymore. I'm still hungry afterwards so it feels pointless to me anymore. Rather have real food, or some semblance of real food.


Due to my change up in diet and goal, I'm wanting to throw in some protein shakes. Maybe as a post workout and pre bedtime type thing. Nothing fancy, just the powder and some nut/soy milk. I prefer protein powder with some kind of chocolate in it, any tasty suggestions that won't break my wallet, and where to get it? (Type of protein matters not, so long as it's not whey, I have lactose allergies.)


Hope you all have had a good weekend.

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The is awesome to be able to work from home. My husband works from home and loves it and I love having him at home. It will be good to get out the deli. I would hate that.


I like sun warrior vanilla to put into my green smoothies, but for a yummy chocolate protein shake I love Orgain protein powder.

Good luck with the weight loss.

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  • 5 months later...

Alright, my last post was back in October, wow. So life got a hold of me. I really don't know how much I'll be updating this, I have a Tumblr that I add to quite frequently given how much more traffic is there than here but, I digress. An update on my life:


My wife and I have made the decision to keep our family as is. It seems to be so much more taxing and will cost so much money to just get from conception to birth, let alone raising a child. On a personal note, this is the first time in a decade that it has been just my wife and I without any interferences from exes or my parents or outside bullcrap. So we're really just wanting to enjoy our "us" time, maybe adopt another pup along the way and live life. If it changes in the future, we'll take that as it comes.


I changed jobs recently. Finally got out of the deli. It was doing so much harm to my ED recovery and just in general, terrible place to be in many aspects. My new job is not engrossed in food and I have a wonderful discount on the things I need. Win win really. All of my bloat is gone because I've not been tempted with cookies and freebies and samples that I shouldn't be eating and it's wonderful on my pants, I went from a tight, having to suck my gut in size 38 pants to a comfortable loose, not feeling like my butt's going to split out of the seam size 38. No real weight change but the lack of bloat does wonders.


Changes in my diet, ah well, to be honest, I had eggs and cheese in my diet quite often and it's done more harm than good, obviously. I've always been lactose intolerant and now I've seem to have developed an egg sensitivity in my old 28 year old age. I only hear it happening in kids but..there it is. I'm looking to knock off 25lbs that's probably the same 25lbs I've wanted to knock off at the beginning of this thread lol. It's not an excuse but it's hard to eat right and train well when you have IBS and are in recovery and a family that generally requires more time given its special needs. But since quitting the deli I've been able to shift priorities and get back on things I really want to do. Like this fall I'll be starting school. Non traditional student for the win cause I'm old and I've forgotten everything lmao. Seriously like 8th grade math is my cutoff but I'm studying up and should be ready for my placement exams in a month. Then sometime in the late 2016, early 2017, if not sooner depending on finances and how my diet goes, I'm chasing that Jiu Jitsu dream. Really excited for it. Really obsessing about it because starting April 1st, is when all of this is happening in terms of diet and training for it. It'd be sooner but I don't get paid for another 5 days so, I have to make due with what I have now in terms of eating, which really is nothing but rice, pbj and granola lol. I'm adjusting my diet plan over the course of the next few days. I'm thinking something like this:


Oats mixed with water and some generic Vega (I work at a drugstore I found some things to choose from and I'll get my employee discount) in the morning.

A BAS (Big Ass Salad) for lunch, because me and veggies aren't good bedfellows unless it is slatherrrrrred in cheese sauce. But I can mix up a solid salad with everything I do like in there, and really enjoy it plus getting my greens and what not in there.

Dinner is going to be spanish rice and beans, with more beans and sweet potatoes along side. Or a PBJ sandwich with sweet potatoes along side

If I get hungry in between Ill pick and graze on fruit, because I really go overboard with nuts and seeds. I have no concept of moderation at all.


Throw in a multivitamin and an omega 3 because ya know..gaps happen.


As you can see, I'm really trying to keep the foods whole, while being foods that I will eat comfortably, doesn't cause me to binge and doesn't flare up my IBS. Not the easiest task.

So, if my stats, at the moment are 5'6 male, 195lbs, and trying to cut to 170lbs, does this seem like a solid meal plan? Training I have a grip on, it's always the nutrition that I suck at.

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