Dating

[madcat]

My boy friend and I just broke up… we were together for 2 ½ year. When we first met I had just become vegan. He was a meat eater. For the most part it didn’t really bother me… except when he tried to kiss me after eating! After about one year together we saw the documentary The Witness and then he became a vegetarian. Now I’m wondering if I should date meat eaters or not. On one hand I would hate to go on a date a watch someone eat meat. One the other hand I would be much more limited if I decided to only date vegans. Plus, although it was unintentional, I think it is cool that I got to introduce someone to a lifestyle that he might have other wise never tried. Any comments? Any advice?

[compassionategirl]

Hi madcat,

 

Sorry to hear that you and your man broke up. This is a very hard time for you. We are hear for you whenever you need us. Glad that your man turned vegetarian? Do you think he will stay that way or revert to animal flesh now that you have broken up? I hope his vegness lasts.

 

 

I was in a similar situation. I broke up with my boyfriend for a variety of reasons. Actually, it was a four year realtionship and we lived to together for a year, so it was pretty serious. I know exactly what you are going through. Even though I initiated the break up, it was no easier - trust me. I still struggled emotionally and I still miss him, but hope that he is happy and that he found the "one" for him.

 

Dating a non-veg is hard. When meeting new men and going out on dates, I make it clear at the outset that I am not a consumer of animal flesh and that I will not go out to dinner and be across from somebody who is eating an animal. I make it clear that out of respect, if they want to take me out to dinner they must forego animals for the night. SInce guys are pretty eager to impress, they oblige.

 

Do what your heart tells you to do. Yes, I know it limits you, and I therefore will probably be single for a long time. I would not say "NO" to a meat eater (as I have stated elsewhere). But I would never be happy with somebody who has been fully informed of the details of the suffering and still could not care less and is happy to go on contributing to that industry.

 

Basically, don't not give people a chance because they eat meat. Maybe they need somebody like you in their lives to have that "Light bulb" moment. Try to awaken the compassion and altruism in them that may lie dormant. Kind of like your ex-boyfriend.

 

be good to yourself in the next few weeks. Pamper your heart and your soul. Soak in a bubble bath with lots of candles and a nice glass of organic wine (my favourite - although this is usually more fun with a boyfriend). Sing to yourself. Spend time with your animals (or somebody else's if you don't have any). I find that animal friends soothe the soul. Meditate. be with friends and family. Stay close to us here on the boards. We are your friends too.

 

Natalie

Edited June 27, 2005 by compassionategirl

[madcat]

Natalie,

thank you very much for your kind words and your advice. I know I’m not ready to date yet because just when I think I’m doing ok I fall apart all over again. I was just kind of wondering what direction to go from here and what kind of experiences other vegans had had. Thank you.

Amy

[robert]

I haven't dated anyone in about 3 years, maybe longer. I wonder if it has something to do with me being vegan

 

But once it does work out with someone who's vegan, I'm sure it will be well worth the wait.

[kollision]

I haven't dated anyone in about 3 years, maybe longer. I wonder if it has something to do with me being vegan

 

But once it does work out with someone who's vegan, I'm sure it will be well worth the wait.

 

Man I have never dated! I agree though, its well worth the wait!

[Renecarol25]

Rob - you must be too picky I'm sure there are lots of veg*n girls out there who'd love to be with someone as great as you! Its worth the wait to find someone though so don't compromise.

 

I used to date meat-eaters once upon a time. When the last meat-eater I dated and I broke up I decided that dating a meat-eater probably wasn't a good idea because there's no way I'd want to marry or worse (have a child with someone) who ate animals.

Renee

[savebabe]

One thing you need to be in congruent when it comes to who you want o be with. You've got to remember that sometimes you meet someone who is entirely all wrong (as in they are the exact opposte of you, and yet it is like a missing piece of the jigsaw). Sometimes people are not meant to be a permanent part of your life, but are brought into your life for a specific purpose, or to teach us a lesson.

 

I suggest if you are ready for a realtionship to go out and make it happen. My girlfriend (god lover her) believes that the Universe will provide her with someone when it is meant to happen. I am not a great believer in waiting for somethign to happen. You need to make things happen. Its like the saying....

 

There are 3 types of people in this world;

 

Those who make things happen;

Those who watch things happen;

And those who say

"what just happened?"

 

Its up to you in regards to what kind of person you want to be, and who you want to be with. If you don't knwo who you are, how can you possibly know who you want to be with.

 

I dated loads of guys before I met my current hubby (and believe me some were just freaks-no matter how good their body was!). Dating is loads of fun as far as I'm concerned. I even managed to turn a carnivorous commitment phobic bodybuilder into a compassionate vegan who is now in a very long term relationship with a lovely girl he is thinking of marrying.

 

Believe me I had no problems at all in guys who were interested in dating me (of course there were a few who said that I was freaky but that was mainly to do with my goals etc, not my eating). One thing I made very clear, there wsa no way I was dating a smoker, or a heavy drinker, or somebody who couldn't support me or my goals. I always sent them my list of goals and what I wanted to acheive in the future. If they didn't like it, then I didn't bother. Of course, there are alwys the guys who will think that they will just be able to get in your pants and be done with it! But they are a small majority if you aren't picking guys up in clubs.

 

Good luck in the realtionships guys!

[robert]

As I think I've mentioned a few times, I haven't dated at all in about 3 years!!!!!!!

 

I don't think I'm as cute as I used to be. I used to look like a Backstreet boy and was mistaken for Nick Carter on occasion.

 

Here is a photo from my prime, back in 2001

 

http://myspace-679.vo.llnwd.net/00021/97/66/21436679_l.jpg

 

This photo above is of Me and Sherry Lee.

 

This is me Now, a photo from last week:

 

http://www.veganbodybuilding.com/imgs/albums/VeganFitnessTeam/vft18.jpg

 

Like my BRIGHT Orange Vegan Bodybuilding hat?

[savebabe]

Oh yeah......real ugly....NOT The chick looks like Pam Anderson....you musn't be fussy at all

 

I've got a face like a dog with a shaved butt and I STILL managed to meet loads of gorgeous guys, which had a lot to do with (apart from having a good body I suppose-you know they say you don't look at the mantle when you're stoking the fire), my personality, and my confidence. I like myself as a person and I have fantastic hair-naturally really long, thick and curly!

 

I haven't seen evidence of one ugly person on this forum yet (hence my photo being withheld)

[kollision]

LOL @ Backstreetboy. I really dont see the resemblance between Nick and you mate, you're in top shape

[Corey]

Rob,

 

I think you're adorable, especially in the orange hat, and I can't tell you why you haven't had a girlfriend in three years. What I can say is that it probably has less to do with you being a vegan, and more to do with your physique. Girls might see a guy like you as 'unattainable.' There aren't many guys out there who look as great as you do and are also genuinely nice.

 

Corey

[robert]

Hey Corey,

 

Thanks for the comments, I appreciate it. And thanks Savebabe as well. And Big K--at one time I did look like Nick, maybe hard to tell in those photos

 

Yeah, I don't know what it is, 3 years single and I've been "somewhat" looking as well. And before that I just dated a few girls, some were fitness girls, most athletic in some way, some vegetarian, some not.

 

So I just keep to myself these days, eating, training, working, and writing and I guess one of these days some vegan girl will come along

 

Have a great day everyone, almost time for me to go to sleep.

[crashnburn]

Rob.. they dont just come along. Ive been down that path.

 

Not changing what we do and expecting things to change ?

 

You are a workout genius and know that results will not occur without putting in efforts.

 

Just go out, be more social, talk to everyone at a bar, at a fair, at a mall. Make friends.. Even go for BBQs (I know i know)..

 

Through one of those people you met.. u will meet others.. and eventually someone you like.

 

NETWORK.

[loveliberate]

Hola,

In response to the original question. If I were ever to date again, I'd strongly prefer Vegans and dont think I'd want to be in a long-term intimate relationship with a meat-eater for sure.

That said, with 3 kids and my wife and I having just celebrated our 10th anniversary it's pretty much all theoretical for me anyway!

 

Rob,

If I do become available and you're on the market... well we can talk then! I'm definitely more about substance than image - but that orange hat would have to go.

[emmaternante]

The theme of love is very important for everyone. Parting is very difficult to survive and you need to engage yourself with other things as much as possible so as not to be sad. You can also communicate with other people!

[Wella]

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