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endcruelty
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d00ds you guys getting a little 2 into this aiight?? if someone calls you a dyke on a street you keep on walking whacha gonna do start a scrap and get yourself arrested and sent to jail??????

It is my firm belief that when dealing with morons there are more alternatives than either ignoring them or starting a fight. Like trying to talk some sense into them. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesnt, but it might be worth a try at least.

 

who gives a shit if someone calls you a name ive been called names left and right and im still me and no f*ckup on the street will ever change that.....

I believe there is a big difference between namecalling in general and namecalling in connection with structural oppression/discrimination. Think about that for a while and you might see why lots of people find using the term 'dyke' in a negative sense offensive.

 

d00ds you guys getting a little 2 into this aiight??

On a sidenote, I think you might want to think over your spelling policy. In my opinion, using chat-style spelling like that has the disadvantages of

1) Making it hard to understand what you're writing, especially for non-native english speakers. This is an international bord, remember?

2) Making you look stupid

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d00ds you guys getting a little 2 into this aiight?? if someone calls you a dyke on a street you keep on walking whacha gonna do start a scrap and get yourself arrested and sent to jail?????? who gives a shit if someone calls you a name ive been called names left and right and im still me and no f*ckup on the street will ever change that..... so every1 stop getting so vent up over this issue and just chilllllllllllllllllllllll

 

Even more rude and disrespectful than the choice to be nonresponsive.

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d00ds you guys getting a little 2 into this aiight?? if someone calls you a dyke on a street you keep on walking whacha gonna do start a scrap and get yourself arrested and sent to jail?????? who gives a shit if someone calls you a name ive been called names left and right and im still me and no f*ckup on the street will ever change that..... so every1 stop getting so vent up over this issue and just chilllllllllllllllllllllll

Yes, you are right, I would just keep walking in that situation. Luckily, I would probably never see that person again.

 

However, as I am on this board all the time and so are you and the folks who don't think that being called a "dyke" is any kind of problem at all, I will "see" you again, many times. And we all want this to be a positive atmosphere where we all feel welcome. That is why I am discussing it in this case.

 

Plus, I thought people on this board would actually be open to trying to understand my point of view and that this could be a positive discussion. Unfortunately, it seems I was mistaken.

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I have heard this word time and time again from the teen skaters. They use the term to mean "stupid" or "idiot", not the original meaning, I came to know.

 

One of the meanings from the urban dictionary:

dyke

abusing someone - derogatory

referring someone to be an idiot, stupid, pathetic, annoying or dumb

 

Go away,dont be such a dyke

 

I find the word offensive but was not exposed to it in this context over and over again, such as endcruelty was most likely exposed to it. I was brought up with the meaning that it was a derogatory word for a lesbian woman.

 

Keeping in mind that endcruelty is pretty young, would be most likely why he doesn't make the same connection most of us do.

 

I don't know at what point in time this word crossed over to teen culture. Either way it is still derogatory. I seriously doubt he was trying to offend anyone, just as stated before never made the connection. Hopefully we have enlightened him a bit?

 

Of course I could be way off base here in his thought process....

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Plus, I thought people on this board would actually be open to trying to understand my point of view and that this could be a positive discussion. Unfortunately, it seems I was mistaken.

 

I've worked really really really hard to make this place the most peaceful vegan board out there. I've sent out more PMs than I could even count to various users just trying to maintain the most welcoming and supportive atmosphere here.

 

So anytime anyone feels upset or unwelcome, I feel sad and disappointed in myself, since I try to create the structure and framework of what this forum is intended to look like and the attitudes we want to represent.

 

Of course, I can't control individual opinions and actions and I don't want to, that wouldn't be fair. I know we have people from all different parts of the world, different backgrounds and from different unique life experiences, and I'm surprised we haven't had more issues with people not getting along over the past year or so.

 

I think we do a great job of maintaining the integrity of the forum and it only cracks occasionally, and for that I appologize.

 

As I usually write, let's just keep on showing high levels of respect no matter what our opinion on a certain topic is.

 

I'm not saying to ignore topics or issues (we've had some big debates about religion, animal rights, etc. in the past), I just think a really respectful approach to something leaves everyone feeling better about the situation.

 

Thanks,

 

-Robert

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Plus, I thought people on this board would actually be open to trying to understand my point of view and that this could be a positive discussion. Unfortunately, it seems I was mistaken.

Most people agree with you Formica. I certainly do. Everything you said I agree with.

 

To the OP, just don't call people dykes OK? Pretty simple.

 

Will, thats all good and fine. Whites can be the subject of racism/bigotry too. But it isn't a matter that others here are offended. It's that they are simply trying to help someone stop saying words that help cause hatred of different people. You don't want to see people hated for being different do you? So then if someone is going on about kikes, koons, chinks, dykes, etc, then you'd try to make the world a better place and point out they shouldn't use such words.

 

Right???? It doesn't seem worth a big long discussion.

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I have heard this word time and time again from the teen skaters. They use the term to mean "stupid" or "idiot", not the original meaning, I came to know.

 

One of the meanings from the urban dictionary:

dyke

abusing someone - derogatory

referring someone to be an idiot, stupid, pathetic, annoying or dumb

 

Go away,dont be such a dyke

 

I find the word offensive but was not exposed to it in this context over and over again, such as endcruelty was most likely exposed to it. I was brought up with the meaning that it was a derogatory word for a lesbian woman.

 

Keeping in mind that endcruelty is pretty young, would be most likely why he doesn't make the same connection most of us do.

 

I'm young too (22), and though it made it into urban dictionary as being defined separate from sexuality, in my experiences with people in my demographic, everyone 'knows' what a dyke is. It's nice of you to give the benefit of the doubt, but I have to disagree that it's an age/social group thing. We all know the meaning of dyke, even us young ones

Edited by veggymeggy
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I don't want to get this all started again, just posting to say that I didn't mean to imply that I don't find this forum a welcoming place anymore. I just meant that I think we all here do think it is a great and welcoming place and that we like to keep it that way, and that's why we might be quick to comment on things that have the potential to affect that.

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A New York chef who became the darling of the Food Channel after he attained the status of a rock star in the culinary world. He fled the Food Channel when the Travel Channel offered him a show based on his FC series. "No Reservations" was born. This week he is in India where he has been raving about the vegetarian Hindu fare. He quipped, "In India they do vegetarian right. We can't in the states." (paraphrase)

 

Julia Stiles??? She was just on Leno promoting "The Omen". Her diet, nor her love life became a topic of conversation.

 

Jon

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Compash, agreeing to disagree sounds good to me.

 

endcruel, I think you're right on. If someone calls you a name, just ignore them. Problem solved.

 

Jay if someone hates black people, then pressuring the person to say African American won't make them stop hating black people. This whole discussion is really about etiquette rather than substance.

 

Whatever you guys want to decide is the proper forum etiquette is fine with me. I think there should be a sticky posted in the introduction section with the rules of forum etiquette listed. If the consensus is that a particular word is not acceptable, then a mod can edit instances of the word and send a PM to the poster citing the rule as reason for the change. Then arguments like the one in this thread should be avoided.

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Jay if someone hates black people, then pressuring the person to say African American won't make them stop hating black people. This whole discussion is really about etiquette rather than substance.

Yeah, if they already are a racist then telling them to not use certain words isn't going to accomplish anything. But people who aren't yet racists certainly can be influenced by seeing that stuff.

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d00ds you guys getting a little 2 into this aiight?? if someone calls you a dyke on a street you keep on walking whacha gonna do start a scrap and get yourself arrested and sent to jail?????? who gives a shit if someone calls you a name ive been called names left and right and im still me and no f*ckup on the street will ever change that..... so every1 stop getting so vent up over this issue and just chilllllllllllllllllllllll

 

I agree with what Jay wrote - I'm not that worried about "converting" actively racist people but I am worried about the social climate where hurtful and oppressive words/attitudes are acceptable.

 

Endcruelty, I do think people should respond to hateful attacks like that if they feel safe and comfortable doing so. Better still if folks from privileged

classes of people, like white hetero north american men, respond to the remarks and actions of our peers.

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