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dealing with relatives


Igor Vovchanchyn
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My chosen career is not a lucrative one, I'm reasonably comfortable with my cash situation though, the problem is trying to keep my head up at family occasions where cash = success.

I dont want to disappoint anyone, but I cant avoid the subject forever. I mean I like my family and inlaws, but I know they'll lose respect for me.

 

Anyone any stories / tips on dealing with family expectations?

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If you're not askng them for money, or being dependant on anyone else, and are comfortable with what you are earning (though you're 'reasonably' seems to suggest some hesitation in this area), then what business is it really of theirs? Maybe it's up to you to show them that success can be measured in many ways other than money. And if they love you, they would be happy if you are doing something you want.

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If they were my blood relatives I'd simply tell them where to go and generally ignore them as I have done most my life.

 

But they are my wife's (we just married) relatives. She's very close to them and they are nice and have been very helpful.

 

I could happily live my life without money help. I just dont want to pick an arguement if I don't have to.

 

In the perfect world people would respect one another wether they were impressive or not. But I'm not going to dislike anyone for ordinary foibles

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I've gotta deal with this all the time...I was great at hockey and football(which I'm sure I could have went to the NFL for) and quit to do track which only makes money if your one of the best in the world...then I switched from being a bio major at a high ranking school to become a potter. My Dad hates it but my mother is happy I'm happy. It makes sense to me that my Dad is bothered by my choices but the best thing is to let people around you know that success isn't always money or position. I've always felt that if your dream is to be the owner of a small cafe or a manager of a fortune 500 company and you die an assistant manager...the small cafe owner is more successful. The only case I think its ok to pester someone is if they're unhappy with the work they do(even if they're successful)...its for there own good if they can change something and be a happier person...even if that persons broke

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I agree, it's better to follow your goals, rather than chase cash.

 

I'm sort of worried that even if nobody has a problem per say I won't be in the cool group so to speak. Its a large family thats very close, we have to visit to be polite so life's alot easier if your in.

 

Part of me does want to start pushing back, but that would upset my wife. Which I might have to do, but would rather not.

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Aren't you supposed to upset your wife??? Well not on purpose I guess. Anyway I think most people get used to anyone being around after a while...even if they smell really bad so I think you might be OK...they shouldn't just learn to accept it...I figure they'll learn to not even notice or even better be thankfull you love what your doing

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