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Horrible, horrible night


offense74
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Yesterday I was out drinking with my work buddies. It was one of the worst nights of my life. Just aweful.

I kind of got how the evening would look right from the start when all we talked about were work. A few thing set this horrible night up:

 

1. Our boss were with us (he's a nice guy and weren't really the problem).

2. One guy got a pay raise this week.

3. Me being vegan.

4. Alcohol.

 

This whole week have been bad due to circumstances concerning my closest collegues pay raise. It's not even his "fault". We are all members of different unions and they negotiate in different periods and for different amount of time. This time he got a good raise and everybody freaked out. The guy who got the raise even went to our boss and told him that he could take a few days extra vacation instead of the raise but they couldn't do it.

One guy stopped working all together all week and called in sick thu and fri. I asked him for help in the beginning of the week and he said no.

Another guy went up to our bosses' boss and complained.

Another have slowed his tempo for 2 weeks now.

One woman said simply that "in our line of work you shouldn't have that much money". I asked her why and she said "well, we just shouldn't, it's wrong".

I didn't even know about it since I don't really care but when I found out I talked to the guy who got the raise and congratulated him. I think it's nice when people get better salaries.

I can also add that out of 6 people 2-3 are the kinds of people that are almost always negative to everything.

With this in peoples head, we head out to consume alcohol. Bad idea.

Even though I consistently tried to change the subject the whole evening was like a long complaining-fest to everything related to work. Of all my friends (outside work) I belive that I have the best employer.

So it gets more and more depressing. And then this fat lady who has been doing all diets known to man her entire life starts asking me about my eating habits. In my head I was thinking "this is not going to end well" and as usual, I was right.

When I started to explain that, after 4 years of daily reading about food, lifestyle and health I have come to the conclusion that veganism is the best choice for me and the rest of the planet they started attacking me.

I explained that my diet is solely based on science and that science is not pointing in every direction as people seem to think. Animal and processed food = bad, Whole plant food = good.

The fat lady started attacking me for using tobacco (I use snus) and thus had the same risk ratio as everybody else (snus is almost harmless compared to other forms of tobacco as stated in the wikipedia article, even though it's probably not good either). The lady is also a smoker. So I tell her that "I'm not tryig to get immortal, I just want to feel the best I can and lessen the chance to get painful chronic deseases. I also don't want to contribute more than nessessary to global warming and I don't believe slaghter houses are a fun place to be. Noone wins on me eating animal products, least of all myself." and the attacks gets worse. I guess you've all been there... If I told her I lost all weight by eating crackers and paté she would be on that diet tomorrow but eating only whole plant foods, that's just crazy...

The woman that thought we should earn less was next. Her husband for 40 years died 2 years ago in liver cancer. I told her I don't want to talk to her about his diet since there is no way to say it right. But as she was intoxicated she became somewhat angry and insisted. Her husband was somewhat of a "health-person" which basically means that he was eating the same amount of animal products, just lower fat (this has been the health mantra for the last 50 or so years) and she was aking why he got it and not everybody who eats "less healthy". I told her that it was just bad luck and as horrible as it is this can happen to anyone. And of course thay said "well there you go, you're not safe" and I told them what I told the previous lady that my goal is not to be immortal.

During this whole time I tried to change the subject from veganism to something else but they kept asking and for every anwere they found a new angle to attack me.

 

At 2 am. I celebrated that the night was finally over with a veggieburger thinking that maybe it isn't food that will kill me but the negativity sorrounding me.

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Oh man, Offense74, I am so sorry!

 

Your story was 'so close to home', I totally understand how you might feel, and how very frustrating it was for you. My reasons for following the vegan path is very similar to yours, based upon good science and, for me, a spiritual sense having to do with non-violence.

 

Yet sometimes we as Vegans are placed in difficult positions, trying not to inflame a dialog into something ugly, in which no one wins, and where opinions are often hardened about other's beliefs.

 

My heart goes to you today Offense74. That was a very very difficult situation to be in. I think, from what I gather from your description, that you are to be congratulated for keeping the heat of the conversation from getting too hot. At least you tried your best. You are doing good work. I am proud of you for the stand you are taking in trying to help our planet.

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If I told her I lost all weight by eating crackers and paté she would be on that diet tomorrow but eating only whole plant foods, that's just crazy...

Nicely put!

 

I feel for you, alchol brings the worst out of some people.

What's your job?

And here's to a better saturday night!

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same old story: people find out you are vegan and immediately feel they are under attack. they assume you are judging them when it is actually they judging themselves. kind of like cognitive dissonance, but it always turns into a whitewash when they realize they are defending the undefendable. rather than trying to raise their own standards they attempt to lessen yours. its actaully quite sad and i wouldn't break a sweat over it.

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Thanks guys I appriciate the support . Saturday were alot better (i.e. no alcohol). I don't drink that often (2-3 times/year) and I only drink to get drunk (I'm after the buzz) because I don't really like the taste of alcohol. I like chocolate oat milk but the resulting buzz is not as fun as with beer

 

What's your job?

I'm a technician at the university.

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Thats about as often as I drink(well the last 2 years atleast)...I'd like to drink more but I'm a big wuss and I think if the beer I drink in a night weight 10lbs...I'll have 10 extra pounds of fat to burn off on my bike...as for the drunkenness I'm due for a little...I promised me vegan gymnast friend that I'll get plastered with her and her twin sister before she goes to Argentina to study abroad...I on the other hand will surely do it with beer...and nothing but the best...vegan brewed Stone Brewing Co. Smoked Porter

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I'm sorry that you had such a terrible night. It sounds as though your co-workers were letting off a little steam by attacking your diet choices. Misplaced anger... Do you think they would have been so hard on you if they weren't so angry about the pay raise your co-worker received?

 

Quote:

What's your job?

 

I'm a technician at the university.

 

I wondered this too. Before I read that you worked at a University, I was thinking to myself that you worked in some sort of industry, not acadamia. You see, I work at a University as well, and although I get lots of questions about diet, I have never been attacked. I have always been amused by this. In three weeks, I start a new job in a very different work setting (industry, small company, union shop). I am a little worried about how my diet will be received - I think it will be a tougher crowd.

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So, your co-wokers were complaining about a raise? Kinda strange. I vaguely understand the workings of unions so i can understand this. Some union workers are like that i've learned, and some are cool(like you).

 

My friends always joke with me about how me being vegan isn't going to save me from a bus hitting me or anything. My one friend even joked with me that if i get hit by a bus, it's probably because the bus driver is on a vegan killing spree with his bus.

 

Booze never makes a situation better. I only ever drink with my close friends who i know wont say anything too obnoxious or stupid. Usually i can distract good friends because i know what makes them tick. Sometimes with co-wokers it's harder(although i haven't ever drank with any of them so i wouldn't really know first hand, but i can imagine).

 

Tons of people seem to respect me when they first meet me because they think i'll break them in too, but after they get to know me they're more comfortable with questioning me. I don't mind because usually they're pretty nice. It's a pain when you come across assholes, or drunks, or drunk assholes.

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I know this is a little late, but to those co-workers. I'm sorry you had to go through a night like that offense74. It's a shame that when people get defensive (because they know it's wrong to eat animals and their bodily fluids) they don't sit down and think about why they are defensive, but attack the person who is making them feel defensive (does that make sense ?)

 

Sending hugs your way......and hopefully your next night out will be with drinking buddies that make you feel .

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