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Raw Foodists and dating?


andesuma
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Hello

 

 

I am just curious what all of your opinions were on dating, and being raw?

Do you generally get harsh reactions, or does it not seem to matter?

 

 

When I was just vegan(whole foods of course..), I never had a problem

with meeting omnivores and being able to help them ease into a vegan

transition (per my influence/inspiration, but their desire..), but being raw..

seems to be another world.

 

Now, granted, I do not actively go out and seek to date anyone, and

am not necessarily interested in it at this point anyhow, but...

I am curious if any of you find it to be an obstacle?

 

I just don't understand how caring for yourself, for your body, is

seen as something extreme in our society. It's like if I am not putting

toxins into my system, then I can't go out and "have a good time"..

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I just don't understand how caring for yourself, for your body, is

seen as something extreme in our society. It's like if I am not putting

toxins into my system, then I can't go out and "have a good time"..

 

I get that all the time down here. No vegans around me, one vegetarian. I'm constantly bombarded about how dumb I am to care for myself...it's weird.

 

Can't comment on the dating part.

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I have yet to get a harsh reaction - I am sure I might though...

 

In my local Organic grocery store, some lady caught on I was what they call a raw foodist. She said OOOOOHHHHH you're one of those!!! What the hell is that suppose to mean.

 

I wanted to turn to her and say no I am me. This so far has been the worst I have run into.

 

I have not been looking to meet anyone lately and I am not one for internet dating. This seems to be the way most raw foodist are going?

 

I also don't have to date someone who is raw, only someone who respects my diet.

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I can't imagine how that conversation goes. I usually have the "i'm vegan" one over sushi. And I've never converted anyone to vegan that I can think of... But I do like dating. Maybe you could teach me how to convert omnis and I could be some kind of vegan johnny appleseed, sowing the seeds of veganism in the minds of omnis all over.

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I'm not 100% raw or even "high raw" yet, but am moving in that direction.

 

Since I just started dating a bit, I've also been wondering how best to introduce and navigate that whole topic of conversation. I could see responding to an invitation with "Dinner Saturday? At a four-star restaurant? Umm... could we maybe have just a bag of apples and a few raw cashews at the park instead?" turning real awkward real fast.

 

I've been on one "raw date" so far. There was no reaction whatsoever to my rawsomeness, but then I made no announcement or fuss about it, either. We went to the movies, I declined the popcorn/candy/soft drink snacks... then whipped a raw food bar and bottled water out of my purse after we got to our seats. The topic just never came up.

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almost all restaurants have salads. or at least pick someplace that does.

 

well for me, dating and vegnaism or rawism is nothing special. i guess being in LA, everyone is used to every kind of diet imaginable. i've dated omnivores, junkfood whores, vegetarians, and vegans. never dated someone who was specifically raw, but most of the vegans/vegetarians and even some of the omnivores really like the raw restaurants here in LA. everyone always (ALWAYS) says how energized and fresh they feel afterwards.

 

so... hmm..... dunno what my contribution to this convo is really. guess my thoughts are that it depends on the type of people in the dating pool you're fishing.

 

i just remembered about one girl who was wild about me but she smoked, drank a lot, and ate all sorts of junk. so i didn't want to date her. then i didn't see her for like a year. suddenly i ran into her and she had stopped smoking, cut back on alcohol, gone vegan and was eating hi-raw! what the heck? i'm not arrogant enough to think i did that, but i like to think that i at least set a good example.

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Hello

 

 

I am just curious what all of your opinions were on dating, and being raw?

Do you generally get harsh reactions, or does it not seem to matter?

 

 

When I was just vegan(whole foods of course..), I never had a problem

with meeting omnivores and being able to help them ease into a vegan

transition (per my influence/inspiration, but their desire..), but being raw..

seems to be another world.

 

Now, granted, I do not actively go out and seek to date anyone, and

am not necessarily interested in it at this point anyhow, but...

I am curious if any of you find it to be an obstacle?

 

I just don't understand how caring for yourself, for your body, is

seen as something extreme in our society. It's like if I am not putting

toxins into my system, then I can't go out and "have a good time"..

 

 

Yeah people can make a big fuss and yeah people can be rude as heck but atthe end of the day, the only person that can make it a problem is you!

 

Just be careful not to self-isolate yourself just because your raw, what you eat should not make a difference to hpw your recieved, also don't get caught in the judging other peoples lifestyle trap either which can be very easy to do when you go raw, everyone has a choice and we all gotta respect that.

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I haven't dated since increasing my raw food intake so I can't really say about that but my girlfriend is vegetarian and LOVES cooked food so it's difficult for me to try and keep eating raw. That means that I mostly make food for myself and she makes food for herself. About a year ago I ate almost all raw for 2 months and she was resistant thinking that I need to eat cooked food. She's enjoys cooking and eating cooked food and was really upset by the fact that i might never eat her cooked food again. But since I'm eating mostly raw again she's being more supportive this time around. I've really explained what it does and how important it is to me and that i absolutely have to do it. I also think she's had time to sit with it and think on it. Unfortunately when your dating you might not have time to really explain and let things sink in for a few months.

 

[a little off topic but...]

I have a hard enough time describing being vegetarian much less eating raw to people. I've tried a few times now to talk about it and I don't get very far before someone cuts in with "oh my god, why would anyone do that?" along with the quick change of subject. I can explain the energy and health benefits and it's like there's a big wall in their brain that doesn't accept it. They are VERY skeptical. But I never force what I do down people's throats.

 

I've had several people refer to my food as rabbit food. They were all heavily overweight/unhealthy. I even had a girl ask why I was eating a salad, that I didn't look like I need to lose weight. I found that perplexing but interesting... that people regard salads as diet/lose weight food. And that's the only time they'd eat one. When I told my mother I was eating mostly raw food her reaction was "that can't be good!". I think it's really difficult for people to even think about things that they're not used to. They are used to their habits, pleasures and conditioning even though it doesn't really work for them.

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Yeah people can make a big fuss and yeah people can be rude as heck but atthe end of the day, the only person that can make it a problem is you!

 

So true, for almost all things! I don't do a lot of things that people I know do, including alcohol, caffeine, pot, etc... and now I have to add cooked food to the list. I think the important thing is that it is not that "I can't" eat cooked food, it is that "I don't want to". The only thing that matters to me is that it works for me, I feel better, and frankly anyone who wants me to do something I don't want to is someone let drift away...

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*

 

I think at the start of your journey having to explain yourself is going to be the hardest. Thankfully I have a small group around me who don't hassle me about this raw choice.

 

But the though of socialising and travel does concern me. Trying to figure out how I will survive in such situations, worries me. I really think it's my newness to the lifestyle that can be confining. It's not just the change of eating style that must change, but the mind set that must also go along with it. I am sure when I really start to think "out side of the box" that half of these concerns will fade away. I would hope that when I have a real good grasp of what I can prepare food wise for each social situation, I will feel more at ease.

 

*

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I can't imagine how that conversation goes. I usually have the "i'm vegan" one over sushi. And I've never converted anyone to vegan that I can think of... But I do like dating. Maybe you could teach me how to convert omnis and I could be some kind of vegan johnny appleseed, sowing the seeds of veganism in the minds of omnis all over.

 

hah..well, I am not exactly sure how it happens. But I've managed

to convert a lot of friends and every single guy I've been in a relationship

with.. which isn't many, but I've never dated someone that was already

vegan, before meeting me.

John(my ex, we were together 3 years) was always amazed

at the rate I was able to inspire others to make the vegan switch, and if nothing else, start eating healthier.

John grew up in Ferndale, CA. , dairy capital.. country for miles.

His dad is a beef rancher, and his entire family is in the dairy industry.

So, I think if I could get him/provide the guidance for him to go vegan,

anyone can!!

 

 

Anyhow, one thing I find that helps open people up to what vegans

actually eat, is by going to a veggie restaurant.

The vibes are so much better anyhow.

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almost all restaurants have salads. or at least pick someplace that does.

 

 

 

I suppose I make it relatively difficult on the guys who'd like to

date me. I only eat at vegetarian restaurants.

Or at least, I have intentionally only eaten at them for over 5 years now..

 

Granted I would love to see what I could do with a salad at a

mainstream restaurant; I really like going to veggie only places/raw food

cafe's, to open my date up to what there really is the eat out there.

To show them it's not all lettuce and tomatoes

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Yeah people can make a big fuss and yeah people can be rude as heck but atthe end of the day, the only person that can make it a problem is you!

 

Just be careful not to self-isolate yourself just because your raw, what you eat should not make a difference to hpw your recieved, also don't get caught in the judging other peoples lifestyle trap either which can be very easy to do when you go raw, everyone has a choice and we all gotta respect that.

 

I totally agree.. I think my diet just comes across as very intimidating

to a lot of people.

Because they seem to think it's solely about self-discipline & not pleasure.

So wrong they are. hah

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*

 

 

 

But the though of socialising and travel does concern me. Trying to figure out how I will survive in such situations, worries me. I really think it's my newness to the lifestyle that can be confining. It's not just the change of eating style that must change, but the mind set that must also go along with it. I am sure when I really start to think "out side of the box" that half of these concerns will fade away. I would hope that when I have a real good grasp of what I can prepare food wise for each social situation, I will feel more at ease.

 

*

 

I went out of town for seven days recently and It was tough. I went to my home town in Southern Utah after about day four I was getting super anxiety. I ate three lara bars at once and was not satisfied. I think that it was just because I knew that my "support" system was gone. Nice health food stores, food dehydrator, food processors,etc. the next time I travel I'm planning a head and bring a lot stuff with.

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Anyhow, one thing I find that helps open people up to what vegans

actually eat, is by going to a veggie restaurant.

The vibes are so much better anyhow.

 

I agree so much with this. People that poke fun at vegan cuisine usually are amazed about how wonderful vegan restaurants are. Several of my friends went vegan and stayed vegan because of restaurants. I would assume that raw food would be the same.

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*

 

 

 

But the though of socialising and travel does concern me. Trying to figure out how I will survive in such situations, worries me. I really think it's my newness to the lifestyle that can be confining. It's not just the change of eating style that must change, but the mind set that must also go along with it. I am sure when I really start to think "out side of the box" that half of these concerns will fade away. I would hope that when I have a real good grasp of what I can prepare food wise for each social situation, I will feel more at ease.

 

*

 

I went out of town for seven days recently and It was tough. I went to my home town in Southern Utah after about day four I was getting super anxiety. I ate three lara bars at once and was not satisfied. I think that it was just because I knew that my "support" system was gone. Nice health food stores, food dehydrator, food processors,etc. the next time I travel I'm planning a head and bring a lot stuff with.

 

 

Let me just say... that, anywhere human beings really want to

travel to.. (meaning, not Antarctica for one..),

there WILL BE PRODUCE!

 

Produce is everywhere. enjoy being a raw fooder and eating the many

varieties of locally grown produce in the region that you are visiting!

All the tastes, sensations and nutrients will vary, enjoy the journey

instead of feeling so constrand.

 

Just my opinion though

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almost all restaurants have salads. or at least pick someplace that does.

 

 

 

I suppose I make it relatively difficult on the guys who'd like to

date me. I only eat at vegetarian restaurants.

Or at least, I have intentionally only eaten at them for over 5 years now..

 

Granted I would love to see what I could do with a salad at a

mainstream restaurant; I really like going to veggie only places/raw food

cafe's, to open my date up to what there really is the eat out there.

To show them it's not all lettuce and tomatoes

 

i'm the same way. in fact, the only non veg restaurants i've eaten at in as long as i can remember have been when i was out of town (as i am now). like now, i'm in memphis, TN. no veg places nearby. there's a wild oats, or else i would probably starve. but i like ordering the salads with no cheese and watching the waiters down here look at me as if i have asked them to cook and serve me their first born child. and i ordered my dad something with tofu at a taco place called moes. that kid behind the counter looked like he was going to vomit! all acne covered and overweight. i didn't even bother to explain. but when he asked why i liked tofu, i said (honestly) that i didn't and it was for someone else. that shut him up.

 

anyway. in LA i find that most hot girls (sorry to be a guy now)... anyway, most hot girls who are in my profession (film/tv) are vegetarians or vegans. there are some of the atkins persuasion, but they are easy to sway, as they are really only concerned about how they look. thank god demi moore looks as hot as she does, because that makes it easy to convince young actresses that raw diet is something the should look at seriously.

 

i can't remember what my point was, so i will end it here i s'pose. oh yeah, tomorrow night i'm going to a raw food support group meeting at wild oats in Memphis. i'll make a new thread next time i'm on the net and post some of what i 'learn' .....

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Matty Cakes

 

I went out of town for seven days recently and It was tough. I went to my home town in Southern Utah after about day four I was getting super anxiety. I ate three lara bars at once and was not satisfied. I think that it was just because I knew that my "support" system was gone. Nice health food stores, food dehydrator, food processors,etc. the next time I travel I'm planning a head and bring a lot stuff with.

 

I can appreciate that when your usual methods of eating are disrupted, it can be a bit of a concern. I find going raw is quite easy whilst being at home. Even the smell of a fry up, chips (french fries) or a pizza being made by other people in the house has no effect on me. As I know I have my alternatives at hand.

 

But the social aspect of it all still concerns me, like going to a place like a party, especially a birthday party where there is a huge table of food (of the junk food variety), with everyone milling around with plates full of it. I dread that situation. Not that I would starve, as I can eat beforehand. But sitting round like a gooseberry, as everyone is sociably eating I don't know how to cope with that. As an un-raw vegan I could have piles of crisps (potatoe chips) etc and hide the fact, so that would be ok. Now I have always dodged the fact that I didn't drink alcohol by saying I was driving, but what do you say when you're not eating.

 

But I think all this will change when I develop as a raw eater. As it's all new, sometimes these little things seem big things.

 

 

 

andesuma

 

Let me just say... that, anywhere human beings really want to

travel to.. (meaning, not Antarctica for one..),

there WILL BE PRODUCE!

 

Produce is everywhere. enjoy being a raw fooder and eating the many

varieties of locally grown produce in the region that you are visiting!

All the tastes, sensations and nutrients will vary, enjoy the journey

instead of feeling so constrained.

 

Just my opinion though

 

Andesuma I can appreciate your commit, basically don’t panic as it makes the raw lifestyle a nightmare. I think getting a better idea of what is out there, is a huge step forward. If there is a store there is a meal. If there is a decent restaurant, there should be something workable in it. But I feel I need to start thinking more positive about “being out there” by knowing how the land lies.

 

 

So when I visit the USA I just need to find places where people get their food. What are names of health food stores there? Also is Wal-Mart a decent place to buy produce? I remembering on my last visit several years ago, that I shopped at Wal-mart (I wasn’t even vegetarian then), but can’t remember if they did organic fruit and vegetables.

 

Now I will be visiting Georgia and plan to go down to Florida too. I may also travel some into North Carolina. Now any help on places (stores, restaurants etc) to look out for in those states would be appreciated. I know the US is vast, so some states don’t have the same chain of stores as others. I am sure Florida must have vegan and raw restaurants, so I should be ok there. So I will start investigating on that one.

 

Any input would be appreciated.

 

*

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So when I visit the USA I just need to find places where people get their food. What are names of health food stores there? Also is Wal-Mart a decent place to buy produce? I remembering on my last visit several years ago, that I shopped at Wal-mart (I wasn’t even vegetarian then), but can’t remember if they did organic fruit and vegetables.

 

Now I will be visiting Georgia and plan to go down to Florida too. I may also travel some into North Carolina. Now any help on places (stores, restaurants etc) to look out for in those states would be appreciated. I know the US is vast, so some states don’t have the same chain of stores as others. I am sure Florida must have vegan and raw restaurants, so I should be ok there. So I will start investigating on that one.

 

Any input would be appreciated.

 

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Whole Foods is an international natural foods market

They are located all over the United States.

 

check out this link:

http://www.wholefoodsmarket.com/stores/list_allstores.html#fl

 

(There are 8 Whole Foods stores in Florida, 7 in Georgia,

& 5 in North Carolina.)

 

Whole Foods carry a wide variety of organic produce options,

fresh juice bar as well as many raw food vegan options.

(The CEO of Whole Foods is also a vegan )

 

Better yet.. seek out local COOP's in the areas you'll be visiting.

Such as www.lifegrocery.com located in Marietta, Georgia.

 

____ ____ ____

 

Also, for restaurant ideas and options, please check out:

http://www.happycow.net/why_vegetarian.html

 

 

here are specifics for the states you mentioned:

http://www.happycow.net/north_america/usa/georgia/index.html

http://www.happycow.net/north_america/usa/north_carolina/index.html

http://www.happycow.net/north_america/usa/florida/index.html

 

 

 

Through out all of the travelling I've done across the nation, I have

always been able to find organic, vegetarian restaurants in any state.

Probably one of the best ways would be to ask locals where you can

find some healthy raw foods

 

I wish you luck in your social circles, the way you choose to go about

telling others you current evolved and enlightened dietary state of mind

and being; is your own.

However, never feel you must feel ashamed or embaressed to tell others,

you simply don't approve of putting junk into your body.

Afterall it is your body.

 

If you feel deeply it will be an issue, at parties or events;

bring a veggie platter with homemade dip, bring a fruit salad; make

something delicious that you can snack on and that others can enjoy

as well. It does not have to be difficult.

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in LA i find that most hot girls (sorry to be a guy now)... anyway, most hot girls who are in my profession (film/tv) are vegetarians or vegans. there are some of the atkins persuasion, but they are easy to sway, as they are really only concerned about how they look. thank god demi moore looks as hot as she does, because that makes it easy to convince young actresses that raw diet is something the should look at seriously.

 

 

 

Absolutely, I've been pretty involved in the modeling world

as well as some independent film work when I lived in California.

So, I know the scene you're talking about.

 

Also, is it just me noticing this, or does being vegan(especially raw vegan)

make people photogenic??

I really think it is linked to the life force energy within us. But

I have found that every single vegan/raw vegan I've met, is extremely

photogenic.

 

It must be all the bio active produce

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Wow thanks andesuma for such a great start to knowing where to go. I'm really appreciative of that help !

 

As for the social circle, I think you're right, maybe take a little of my own stuff, and just melt into the crowd. If asked by an interested person, I'll explain.

 

I won't have any real problem about being open though about my eating style, as I can justify it to everyone (as well as myself), as after seeing so much illness around me, it's easy to give reasons why I would choose to follow this route.

 

*

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  • 3 months later...

I am not raw but I dont hide what I like and I dont.

 

I have a mixed group of friends .. veg & non-veg. I do not preach or try to convert anyone. TO EACH HIS OWN. THEY BEAR THE BURDEN OF THEIR "LIFE" CHOICES.

 

In fact one 'couple' - Husband loves non veg & wife is vegetarian. So even that happens.

 

At parties

1. I dont drink alcohol (most people dont believe me given how I am)

2. I eat my veg & fruits

I OWN... these 2 facts despite any kind of wierd looks I get or fun they make of me.

 

But I dont go PREACHING so I dont get any hate. When they ask about my dietary choices.. I'm like - It works for ME.

 

Simple.

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First of all I want to thank Andesuma and evverybody else involved here for this great discussion. Many of the situations you descriped I know so well!

@andesuma: Concerning the original question: If you really like the person you date and if you are sure speaking about your lifestyle/diet would have negative effects: Choose a dating location and activity that has nothing to do with eating (like sports e.g.). After a while speak about your lifestyle and the fears you had talking about it...

And: Your are right: Eating and being raw and living healthfully is one of the biggest pleasures I can imagine!

 

@Bigbwii: What you said about selfisolation and judging others is so important. I sometimes catch myself looking at others thinking: "your lifestyle is destroying you!" It is so sad that the knowledge about the rawfood is limited to so few people! It is a walk a tightrope to choose the right situation and person if you want to help.

 

@Isaac: I heard that "But-then-you-are-not-allowed-to-eat/do-this-or-that-sentence" so often. Other persons always project theit attitude on others. Waht they think would not work for them (I could not do that!) cannot work for others...

 

@pfwgrendel: I live with my partner and our daughter. Anke is veggie and so is our daughter Marla. Whan I went vegan a few years ago it was already hard for her to accept since she loves coffee with milk, cheese, cakes, cake and so on. But after a while it was just normal to use vegan alternatives. Now that I am high raw it is even more difficult for her because cooking and eating together means a lot to her and to me as well. Dinner is the only meal we eat together on weekdays and she is not willing to accept me eating only fruits or the salad. This problem becomes even worse when going out for dinner.

Fortunately we can talk about the difficulties we have and with a lot of respect we find our way to sope them...

 

@Matty cakes: Sometimes it is ignorance. But many people really believe that their lifestyle/diet is healthy. They are brainwashed by media and formed by socialisation. It is hard to impossible to rival these two...

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