flameska Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 I'm posting blogs all over the place to hold myself more accountable this time! I've only gone 100% raw for 19 days before, and I know I can make it long past that (like, my whole life!) 30 days is nothing, all that takes is commitment... The only reason I've stopped before is due to faltering commitment and starting to question the whole thing. But every time I stray I remember all the reasons I want to do it and why it feels so much better than cooked. I think sometimes I get overconfident and start feeling so normal and healthy that I think I can just eat anything. But then a couple days on bread and whatever, and I'm back to binge eating issues, feeling stuffed and tired and clogged up, and a worse singer too! I also start questioning why I'm "denying" myself everything everyone else is eating, and they seem to be having so much more fun than me. But actually all I'm denying myself is the feeling of having fun, or relaxing about the whole issue. Let it be effortless. And if I eat cooked, I'm denying myself of the kind of health, mental and physical, that I want. So it's back to raw, until I get it down for good! I'll never give up on it, no matter what issues I face. I've already uncovered my bingeing and self-destructive issues, and now just have to kick them in the ass and keep my momentum going until those issues are obsolete. I'm not afraid of detox, and I'm focused on the reasons for doing it, not the reasons why it's too freaking hard! So I'm starting now basically, though I'm at my grandparents until saturday and will eat their steamed vegetables so they don't spend the whole weekend worrying about me and yelling at me. Yes, this should not be an issue and I know health is more important than what anyone thinks, but steamed veggies are way better than the bready crap I've been eating, and it's not like I'm a few months into this and feeling strong and awesome yet! Although I am strong and awesome anyway! But I just don't feel like dealing with the grandparents issue right now, and it's the last time I get to see them before moving to Ashland and they probably already forgot again that I was vegan and baked me a pie that I'll have to politely turn down! Oh well. Anyway, I'll be back, with good news of course!~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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