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What Next?


sydneyvegan
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At the moment I'm going through one of those, what the hell have I done wrong, why has everything gone pear shaped phases.

As some of you know I was made redundant at the end of June, which wasn't a big deal in itself as I didn't like my job. I did some temp work then I jumped on a plane to the USA and had the best holiday of my life. Since I've been back things just haven't really gone to plan. There is no work in my field at all, not even temp jobs and I'm really starting to wonder what I actually want to do to earn money. I was always planing on moving up through the ranks and earning a good wage, then moving to a gay and vegan friendly town or city and opening a cafe with a gallery on the side. Now I'm thinking what do I do? Do I go back to University and Study? Do I get a mindless job, which will pay bills with out stress or pressure? Should I be patient and wait for work in my field then continue the career I have 10 years experience in?

Other than the work front I found going away and meeting people on the forum caused me to drift away from some of the friends I have here in Sydney. None of them are vegan, and it has really dawned on me lately that they have no idea what I am about, what I believe in, my sense of humour. my passions, anything! I have found myself becoming withdrawn in some ways, I just want to sort things out and find a way forward, and I just don't find myself wanting to be around these people. I am missing Portland so much at the moment, what a great place, with a great group of people....

To add to all this, the only person I have ever loved decided to go through a "rough emotional time" just as I came back into the country. We broke up a year ago, after he decided he loved work more than me (A whole bunch of other issues here, but that could be a novel, so we will leave it at that). But with effort in the begining we stayed in touch and remained friends, there is still definitely feeling there, but what can you do. I called him when I returned and all seemed fine, then he tells me later not to talk to him anymore as he is going through a rough period, and having contact with me makes it worse. I know it is because there is still feeling there on his part and he doesn't want to remember the past, or deal with were his life is at the moment, or could be if he made some choices. So I have respected his wishes, hopefully he sorts himself out and decideds I have something to offer him.

Still it doesn't make things any easier, and only adds to the whole situation.

Anyway, I'll stop rambling on now.

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Sorry about how things are going. Maybe you can get a job at a gallery while taking a few art related classes at a school. They pay won't be great but it may help you get into a crafts school in the US. Or maybe you could find someone to apprentice for???

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Other than the work front I found going away and meeting people on the forum caused me to drift away from some of the friends I have here in Sydney. None of them are vegan, and it has really dawned on me lately that they have no idea what I am about, what I believe in, my sense of humour. my passions, anything! I have found myself becoming withdrawn in some ways, I just want to sort things out and find a way forward, and I just don't find myself wanting to be around these people. I am missing Portland so much at the moment, what a great place, with a great group of people....

 

I totally know this feeling man.

 

 

I'm not sure what to tell you to do. The pay at your old field was good wasn't it? If you were serious about opening a cafe, you could just bear with the old job a while and save, not sure how long going to university again would take you.

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Hey Sydney,

 

First of all. Awesome meeting you! As you already know, you are one of the people I connected with the most. Part of that had to do with the extra 5 days we got to spend hanging out together. I totally know what you mean about going out and meeting people who understand you and then going back to your other friends. It's different. It just is.

 

As far as advice, I don't know if I have much to offer, at least at the moment as I type this. I always like to think that we should always listen to our heart and see where it takes us. I often think that we should follow the quote:

 

"Let yourself be silently drawn by the strong pull of what you love." This could be a job, a person, a place, a community, a situation, etc.

 

I guess I'd sit back and evaluate some things, even writing them down and weighing out their importance. Sometimes that helps prioritize things and puts things into perspective.

 

I'm glad you had a great time in the US. I feel very good about that, since I was part of that trip (Vegan Vacation). I feel very happy to in anyway be a positive feeling, memory or experience with someone. Of course, I loved having you out here, training with you, talking, etc.

 

All the best with whatever you decide to do. Keep us posted. You know we're family around here.

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Sorry about how things are going. Maybe you can get a job at a gallery while taking a few art related classes at a school. They pay won't be great but it may help you get into a crafts school in the US. Or maybe you could find someone to apprentice for???

 

Thanks Potter, This is something I have considered, as you know I sort of turned my back on my artistic side when it came to choosing something to study. I don't think studying geology was a bad thing, maybe it's time to explore the creative stuff more.

 

You're an asset to this planet, Chris. I truly mean that.

What about something with food? You're a great cook, your passionate about veganism and you're good with people

 

Thanks Offense, It is something I have thought about for a while, it will do some research and talk to some people and see where it points me.

 

Thanks Robert, Meeting you and everyone else, caused me to think a lot during the rest of my stay in the USA and now a whole bunch more that I am home.

I think the quote you posted is definitely a good way to live your life, I think I am at a cross roads at the moment I just can't see clearly what lies in each direction. All I can do is continue to sit back and think, take things in and consider possible outcomes. I'm also trying to be around people who will be a positive influence, I guess it is all I can do.

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To me it seems like creating is what you want to do. I'm not meaning ceramics or jewelry but food too. They are all equally great crafts to master and you seem like you'd fit very well into one of those categories.

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Sydneyvegan, I just read your thread and I really feel for you. I know what you might be feeling. I am also going through some challenges. It's tough when you have strong feelings for another and they tell you that they want to pull back or not see you as much. And the thing with work and career, the plans that don't seem to work as hoped.......all of that can be confusing..... but as people keep telling me......the chances for change are excellent as this moment. To find that kernel of truth in our souls......what it is that stimulates our soul to happiness......that is what we need to discover. You have a great deal to offer our Planet!

 

I look forward to meeting you one day Sydneyvegan!

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Sorry to hear about everything that's going on. I don't know what you did for a living, but is there a way to make a leap to another career using the skills you have so you can continue building a financial foundation? Something that will at least give you security enough to budget, get in your time, and focus on what you'd rather be doing?

 

That balance between making ends meet and pursuing what we really want to do can be tough. Again, I don't know what what your situation is like, but maybe it's time to move to a more creative, gay-friendly community now? Try to find something that will allow you a good glimpse into what you really want to do (cafe and gallery)? Or at least make a leap to something that still pays reasonably well on a contract basis, and work someplace more along the lines of what you'd rather be doing in between contracts?

 

I definitely feel for you; I think we all go through those times. Balancing creative passions and a career can be tough, but there are so many people who have done it and are now living their dreams.

 

I hope you become one of those people.

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SydneyVegan... I am sending you a big long-distance hug! I sympathize and encourage you to embrace your difficult time. How wonderful to be at a place in your life of potential and possibility...

 

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”

~ Albert Einstein

 

A Sydneyvegan cafe/gallery in a vegan/gay friendly city sounds terrific!

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Other than the work front I found going away and meeting people on the forum caused me to drift away from some of the friends I have here in Sydney. None of them are vegan, and it has really dawned on me lately that they have no idea what I am about, what I believe in, my sense of humour. my passions, anything! I have found myself becoming withdrawn in some ways, I just want to sort things out and find a way forward, and I just don't find myself wanting to be around these people. I am missing Portland so much at the moment, what a great place, with a great group of people....

 

The same thing happened to me man. I left my sig other and some of my friends. As of right now, I only want to surround myself with positive people that share the same vision and passion as me (veganism is a big part of that). I also want to follow my heart. I encourage you to do the same, and wish you luck as you sort things out. You are super cool and I know you have a good heart, and that alone will take you very far and to good places.

-Josh

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Sydneyvegan, I just read your thread and I really feel for you. I know what you might be feeling. I am also going through some challenges. It's tough when you have strong feelings for another and they tell you that they want to pull back or not see you as much. And the thing with work and career, the plans that don't seem to work as hoped.......all of that can be confusing..... but as people keep telling me......the chances for change are excellent as this moment. To find that kernel of truth in our souls......what it is that stimulates our soul to happiness......that is what we need to discover. You have a great deal to offer our Planet!

 

I look forward to meeting you one day Sydneyvegan!

 

Thanks Jonzen,

I guess in my situation as well as being hurt I'm also pretty shocked as well. Through effort we had a good enough friendship, so we could catch up for dinner every few months etc or catch up on the phone. I thought as more time passed this would improve. It's also difficult knowing I can't talk to someone, even if I just want to say hello and see how the are going. I've respected his wishes so far, and I know I have to keep doing that, as if I don't he will not talk to me again. I just wish this hadn't of happened.

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SydneyVegan... I am sending you a big long-distance hug! I sympathize and encourage you to embrace your difficult time. How wonderful to be at a place in your life of potential and possibility...

 

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”

~ Albert Einstein

 

A Sydneyvegan cafe/gallery in a vegan/gay friendly city sounds terrific!

 

Thanks Jessi.

When I'm thinking it's getting a bit much, thinking about the friends I made during Vegan vacation means I can smile, even if it is only for a little while.

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The same thing happened to me man. I left my sig other and some of my friends. As of right now, I only want to surround myself with positive people that share the same vision and passion as me (veganism is a big part of that). I also want to follow my heart. I encourage you to do the same, and wish you luck as you sort things out. You are super cool and I know you have a good heart, and that alone will take you very far and to good places.

-Josh

 

Thanks Josh,

sorry to hear that you are going through a similar time to me.

I know with your passion and drive you will achieve any goal that you set yourself.

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Man, that's a lot to go through in a short amount of time. I know it's a cliche, but it truly is the rough times that define us and help us grow. I guess it's a lot like getting big... if you didn't lift those heavy, pain-inducing weights, you'd never see the results. Hang in there, and remember you've got friends all over the world who are pulling for you!

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Well Good News on the Liver front,

They tested for everything and Liver function is fine, as is my gall bladder and pancreas.

No Hep A, B or C, no other diseases, cancer or infections.

Iron levels are perfect and I'm not anaemic either (Ha ha, he tested that when I told him I was vegan).

Still doesn't explain why I have a pain there, hmmm....

He said it will probably go away by itself.

I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

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  • 5 months later...

Update,

It has been a few months since I have posted in this topic, and a lot of things have changed, so I guess that is a good thing.

My liver is fine and I am not getting any trouble with it at all, I have started a new job in a great organisation that really values it's employees and pays well - it is still in the same field, but there are a huge number of opportunities to move into different areas etc. It is nice to have money coming in again, so I am in a position where I can rebuild my savings and do the things that I want to do.

Over the Easter break I visited the guy who had decided that he couldn't talk to me anymore, and we actually managed to sit down and have a conversation. It was a Huge step, but it has also caused a lot of emotion to come back into my life. I have realised, that even though I still care about and also love him in someway, he is not the person for me. He seems to be programmed to self destruction in someways, yet does seem to want to stop this behaviour. At the end of last year I was involved with someone for a short time, who really reset the bench mark and changed how I think about relationships and what I want. I've not met someone who I respected in every way so quickly or that thought in a similar way about things, although having different interests. Unfortunately he ended things, despite the fact that things were going extremely well, and couldn't tell me why. I bumped into him recently and he is going to live in the UK for a couple of years, which made me wonder if that played a part in what happend. We haven't really seen each other, apart from bumping into each other in the street every once in a while (It would seem that Fate has decided that we need to bump into one another despite that fact that Sydney has 3 million people), yet I have the overwhelming feeling that there is more to happen in this story. I realise you can't put your life on hold and that is probably 100% likely that nothing more will occur, yet this feeling just will not go away.

I'm going to be single for a while and see how I feel and what happens. Now that the bench mark has been set for how I want to feel in a relationship I think it will be very hard to met the right person. I guess I'm still wondering what next, or whether I expect too much from people.

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