MadamePhilosophy

Perfectly french manicured nails trace along his back. We wait in line to get inside Club Eclipse. The bouncer checks my ID, smiles at me, and waves us through. I'm feeling a little too confident tonight, standing tall in my black pumps and a mini skirt. My boyfriend towers over me with his hat tilted to the side and his polo smelling like Drakkar Cologne. I make my way to the bathroom, to primp like any other female on a Friday night. "Girl I been gettin' deese zits all up on mah face" One thick girl pinches a zit on her forehead. Her and her friend are both dressed similar to me. The difference is in the way we carry ourselves. I'm confident, sly, and laid back. I've got the perfect man for me, so I'm not here to find one. These girls are obviously single, as they hover over the only sink in the ladies' room and poke and prod at their acne covered faces and smear their drag-queenish makeup. (Sorry, ladies, but it only looks good on the queens.) I walk over to the floor to ceiling mirror beside her to check my face. I'm wearing mascara, because I don't need anything else. My face has nothing to hide. I put on some lip gloss, and smile to the mirror to check my teeth. "Girl whatchoo do to make ya face so fresh an' clean?" (Which means how is it that I don't have acne). "I'm a vegan." I smile, this is the sexiest moment of the night. "What's a vey-jen?" I take her hand and pull a pen from my purse. "V-E-G-A-N." I write it on her palm. "Look it up, it'll change your life." I leave them. They're now hovering over the one word that may or may not alter their lives forever, instead of the sink of which they popped their zits over. I think to myself, "I hope." Who knew clubbing could be so educational? It is with me

Nine Inch Nails::::With Teeth http://www.slashgear.com/gallery/data_files/1/4/6/nin_with_teeth.jpg

lol

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y285/butterfly888143/hunters.jpg Oh, this says it all.

So I finally had the balls to request a personal trainer today. We went through my history, and Bill (my trainer) told me that my outlook is great. He measured me, determined that I am overweight (obviously) and told me that my goal weight loss is forty pounds. We started with interval training on the treadmill. Then some weights (arm stuff first) then we moved to leg stuff. He told me I need to consume about 85g of protein daily. I've never realized how little I eat (extreme time constraint) until I had to start measuring protein, so in order to get there: 2 granola bars (4g) 2 chik'n patties w/marinara (28g) 3 Bocca meats w/tortilla wrap (20g) Later tonight I have a protein shake which is 20g. I'll drink that around 2am since I'm @ work. I still need to find something to eat to gap. It's fun eating this much. I forgot what food was like! I'm in a lot of pain, but it's a good pain. I know I'm making a change - and I feel great! Nom nom nom! http://zeer.com/images/products/3586551317_180.jpg http://images.jupiterimages.com/common/detail/93/89/23048993.jpg http://bp0.blogger.com/_noDviYne4vA/R_HWSofTHRI/AAAAAAAAAR0/I67r7PMeBEo/s320/136010621_200x200.jpg

http://www2.victoriassecret.com/images/prodlgvw/V260532_654.jpg But as pale as http://muttnews.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/34204_rose_mcgowan_unknown_iii_2_122_380lo.jpg

So...I hate talking in front of groups. My friends tell me that I look like a natural, but I assure you - I'm sweating my ass off and super duper jittery. For one of my classes, we had to do a presentation on our dreams about our career, where we want to go in life, yada yada yada. Most people in my class explained how they wanted to continue their education, maybe become supervisors or administrators to hospitals, other people talked about how they wanted to be advocates for nurses' rights, and other people talked about how they wanted to be nurse educators. It came to my presentation, the very last one (oh god...). And I loaded my powerpoint. They all sat, half not paying attention, half staring @ the clock waiting for the red hand pass each second. I knew that everyone wanted to leave, and therefore no one would be paying attention. Even my instructor wasn't looking at the screen, she shuffled through her load of papers, grading everyone's prematurely and based on opinion of the student instead of their project. "Ok...I can do this." I thought to myself. Dressed in my black pinstriped pants and a silk shirt with poofy sleeves that make my arms look chubby, and my lab coat - I pulled up my blond hair in all it's dark rooted glory with a rubber band about to snap. Presentation loading....80%...90%...100%... "Ok, I know everyone's itching to get out of here, so I'll make this quick!" I click through my intro pages. My presentation has a lot of pictures on it, I'm a picture kind of person. "When I was little, I wanted to be a veterinarian. It's safe to say that I've always loved animals." Pictures of me with my dog & whatnot. http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j241/sammie_joe/DSCN1092.jpg click.click.click. I zoom through statistics about nursing and the shortage nationwide. "I work in a hospital." click.click.click. I'm running out of things to say. "I know that there is a vast amount of shortages in the US for nurses, and that it's unfortunate that not enough people have health insurance. But I truly feel as if my calling is elsewhere." Click. http://fhs.mcmaster.ca/nursing/images/Leah-Africa.jpg "I want to do what she does. I plan to leave the country and practice nursing in a place where it's needed most. These nurses don't have television, internet, phone, washing machines, dryers, McDonald's, microwaves. They live among the natives, just as the natives live." Suddenly, people are paying attention. I can see some of the rich girls in the class gasp. The girls whose jaws drop are comparable to her: http://houseofmental.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/paris_hilton3.jpg http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/today/gallery/media/poverty2.jpg http://www.genderandhealth.ca/en/modules/poverty/imageContent/JBUHX86N.jpg "I know that it won't be an easy transition, and I'll probably never have wealth - but that's ok for me because I don't value wealth in equity of real estate or pay checks, I measure wealth in my ability to save and change lives...and that's why above all, I want to be a nurse." All eyes are on me. Shit. I thought no one would be paying attention. My professor drops her pen, and doesn't even notice. "I'm going to be leaving my family. I'll be sacrificing my right to vote, my right to drive, I won't have central heat an air, or new shoes every year - but none of those things will ever matter to me as much as the people I plan to help will. So for me, it's an easy choice, a challenging transition, and a reward so priceless you can't put a dollar amount on it." Click.click.click. Last slide reads "Nursing: The Hardest Job You'll Ever Love." Applause. I've never been applauded for anything. For a presentation no one was paying attention to, I'd say it turned out ok. I got 100%. Woop Woop!

That's awesome. Wish I lived closer.

Oh, and let's not forget.... http://www.pubs.caes.uga.edu/caespubs/pubcd/B1222-14-large.jpg

So, family dinners are pretty irritating when you've got a family with a "sense of humor". I'm still working on a thick skin, because honestly my sister's husband (been together with my sister for 14 years, grew up with him) is such a butthead when it comes to my food preferences. He always makes comments that he thinks are "funny" but to me they're just disrespectful and shitty. They had a cookout, and everyone was eating barbeque chicken. Greg's mom (my sister's husband's mom) scrounged up some bocca meat from the fridge, and I heated it up, added spices, chopped onion, shredded carrots, chopped green pepper, water, mushrooms, and some cornstarch (to get it to stick). I clumped it together, and yeah it didn't look to delicious at the time. "Sam, I didn't know you liked to eat poop!" He pointed at my uncooked burger, "That looks like poop!" He started laughing, along with his sister, my sister, and his mom. I've got two choices: get super pissed and throw it away because I've lost my appetite, or retort back with something relatively witty. "Yeah, I guess it does kind of look like poop...but at least it doesn't really have any in it, like your chicken. My food came out of the ground - yours was ripped out of the chest of a living thing, processed, injected with hormones, and shit on. So I guess, you're the shit eater, not me. " His face instantly went from to nom nom nom http://www.foodforthoughtcatering.ca/Assets/item_pics/DSC_0157.JPG http://images.google.com/url?q=http://www.animalsaustralia.org/features/compassionate_christmas/images/factory_farming13_battery_chicken_feces.jpg&usg=AFQjCNGIUEdj06HuiQn1Fc3TF1OalzOv6A http://internetservices.readingeagle.com/blog/cities/raw%20chicken.bmp http://farm1.static.flickr.com/87/242841196_372f7f283f.jpg?v=0 ....Delicious, right meat eaters?

"Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says 'Chicken of the Sea.'"" http://www.foodservicedirect.com/productimages/OT121904S.jpg “'Jessica, you want some buffalo wings?' 'Sorry I don't eat buffalo.'” http://regulus2.azstarnet.com/blogs/images/5065.jpg I rest my case.

So, I live in Toledo, Ohio. NOT a vegan friendly city. Not at all!!!! I was at my boyfriend's grandma's house with him and I went to the bathroom. On my way back to the living room I stopped to look @ some pictures on the wall, this is what I heard. "Grama, I just want to make sure I have the ring she wants. I know it's expensive but I'll be getting it soon." "Well, Michael, just make sure you propose in a very unique way. Samantha is a unique girl, don't be too traditional." "I know. I won't. I have the perfect plan. Just don't tell her or hint at it because I want it to be a suprise." Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I'm waiting, and I can't help but think, "Oh shit, where do I get a vegan wedding cake and awesome vegan food that even non-vegans will rave about?" Yay!!!

So, as vegans we are all used to the ignorant preconceived notions about us. Well, I've grown to really like cooking. My clinical school group were all bringing a dish for our last day. I made three dishes (because I knew nothing else would be vegan), I made vegan spinach lasagna, vegan pizza, and vegan cupcakes. I didn't tell anyone that what I made was vegan, and I was the last one to eat. They all complimented my skills . My clinical group consists of four girls like this http://regulus2.azstarnet.com/blogs/images/5065.jpg and one guy like this http://thegoddessblogs.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/1.jpg. The girls in the group often try to challenge my beliefs, and usually end up looking silly because I'm always prepared for crap like that. They are also constantly trying to impress the guy in the group, flirting, flipping their hair, applying makeup (yes, @ the hospital), talking about girly things, and pretending to be completely ignorant about cars/politics/anything in a man's normal domain. It's really nauseating. Anyway, I grabbed a plate and got some of my homeade food. The girls kind of took a double-take of their own plates and go, "Oh my God, is this vegan crap?" I smiled and said, "Yeah, and for vegan crap you inhaled it pretty damn fast." One makes a gagging impression, the other a look of , and the other looks pissed that I didn't tell everyone it was vegan. Mind you, one of the girls mentioned made lasagna as well. Sexy man, who is usually quiet and ambivalent to us all says, "I thought this food was awesome, I liked Sam's lasagna more than Jen's." Muahahahhahahaha!!!!!http://www.eviltester.com/slogan_pics/smirk_right_with_laugh.jpg "I love meat. Real girls eat meat." Says Jenny, the girls start snickering in agreement. "I don't know. I kind of think vegans are sexy. I've actually been thinking about it since Sam started telling me more. There's something really amazing about people who actually do something about what they believe in, instead of just talking about it." Says sexy man, who by the way has never voiced an opinion on veganism the whole semester. Take that! http://images.cafepress.com/product/58488005v6_150x150_Front_Color-AshGrey.JPG Oh yeah baby. That's right.

That sucks I'm sorry.

My city is not VEGAN AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good thing I'm creative, or I'd be a gonner. I want to move to Portland, Oregon when I graduate. http://fuseblog.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/toledoskyline23web.jpg

I <3 the tats.

Can I just say: all of these men are super hot! http://www.rics.org/NR/rdonlyres/A9184764-B56A-4EE2-8AB2-0A765CDB935C/0/peppers_hot.jpg

I guess when you're in that kind of a situation, it's necessary to make the best of it...I mean, one really doesn't have a choice. These people are remarkable, I admire them.

The hair is fantastic.

His family really didn't care a whole lot about him before the accident (hence his gang activity). I met them once, but after about an hour they seemed bored and left. Deqwon is really lonely, I think they're sending him to a nursing home because he doesn't have insurance and his family refused his care. It really does put things into perspective, check this place out. http://bridges2hope.unite2fightparalysis.org/home/story/73

Cool, will do. I get paid on Friday.

Yeah. I'm really serious about taking care of my body. I want the vega, do you like put frozen fruit in the berry flavor for smoothies? And when I order it, do I order it from you or the grocery store link that you put on the "Vega" thread? By the way, I got on there and I've never even heard of some of that stuff, I'm excited to try it. Where I'm from there's pretty much no vegetarian traffic.

I'm a young person. As many of you know, I've let myself go since high school (the extra 70 pounds and all). I drink maybe once every three months, I don't always eat the greatest, and I drink a lot of caffeine. I had a patient named Deqwon. He's 26. Brilliant guy. I live in Toledo, Ohio - and for those of you unfamiliar, we've got quite a ghetto around these parts. Poverty and urban living go hand in hand, and it's not hard to get mixed up with the wrong people. Crime is a sub-culture, and for whatever reason morality has completely lost it's footing. Everyone's poor, there's about 40 houses foreclosed on every day, and all the blue collar jobs are being lost due to cutbacks. Deqwon was my patient a couple days ago. He's a very handsome man, very bright, sensitive, funny. He was shot in the back, and he's now a quadriplegic. I sat with him and talked for a while, since most of the staff is super busy. Deqwon sees his family maybe once a month, and all of his "friends" have completely abandoned him. He cannot move his arms or legs, and has to have a caregiver provide every task that the rest of us can do for ourselves. "You know, I never thought about how great it is to be able to walk. You're a beautiful girl Sam, and you're lucky that people see you as that - a beautiful girl. When you're healthy and able, you're seen as beautiful and fun. When you're disabled, you're automatically recognized as unwanted responsibility." I looked at him as he spoke. I could see the regret glaze over his eyes as he told me about his choice to join the gang. "In the ghetto, gangs are your family. Ain't nobody gonna watch your back for you. If you don't get with somebody, you'll get killed anyway, it's dangerous out there - and you dust if you ain't got strength in numbers. I never wanted to hurt nobody, and I never wanted to get hurt...but in the ghetto, you gotta choose the lesser of two evils. It ain't like someone's offering you a ticket out of there - because if that was the case, I would have taken it in a heart beat." Tears welled up in his eyes and he turned his head. Deqwon is a proud young man, and I understand. I pretended not to notice, and I turned my vision away from him. Tears welled up in my eyes as well, because here before me was a young man who had everything stolen from him by the squeeze of a trigger. "Sometimes I wish I'da just died. Do you know what it's like to not even be able to feed yourself or wipe your own ass? I can't do anything but talk. No woman's ever gonna want me, I ain't even got friends." There I sat, confronted with one of those situations that makes you so angry inside you can feel the blisters in your arteries start to form from boiling blood. I learned from Deqwon that day. You know, all these excuses Americans make about not taking care of themselves, is fucking bullshit. I'm sorry. I just think it's retarded, that we've got all these people with the potential to be healthy, capable, functioning people who would rather get a prescription for a problem that was caused by the lack of their own self-care. Diabetes is a great example (Type II). People with Diabetes enter a nasty world of complications, and the shittiest part of it all is that it's controllable with diet. I've seen so many patients just let themselves get obese and eat ice cream and candy when it makes their blood glucose sky rocket, the next thing you know they're in the ER. It makes me so FUCKING mad!!!!!!!!!!!! This is why I'm going to get in shape and take care of myself, because it's my responsibility to get everything out of life that's physically possible. Deqwon taught me that we all take advantage of things, I owe it to my body to do it right. I'm doing it for Deqwon.

http://www.myspace.com/madamephilosophy my page is private, but if you request me and let me know you're from the forum I'll accept there's way too many creepers out there! lol

What is the "natural" vega flavor? Is that like vanilla?