Derailed

[annemiekeclark]

So....family in town and I am struggling.My tiny fridge is full of high fructose crap and the first two meals I made the kids refused to eat so yesterday I made them all a big pot roast and just ate the mashed potatoes which were veggie but not vegan. My husband has resorted to drinking his way through it which is also not very helpful! My niece has discovered my marinated tofu though which is all gone.

I have learned over the years to control my environment to achieve my goals which I guess has the downside of being hard to maintain when the bubble gets invaded. What do you guys do? I'm feeling resentful and irritable.

mieke

[Richard]

If there really isn't a way to control the other people, or to get them to understand or respect your diet, then perhaps you could put some food in your room? I did that initially at university, the other 13 flat mates kept their food in the kitchen in cupboards and shared fridges, and I kept my stuff in my cupboard in my bedroom, out of the way. You could even buy a mini fridge?

[Marcina]

When I was a kid, and I refused to eat something.. I had to sit at the table until it was done or I'd get it for breakfast. Sometimes I'd be there hours after everyone was finished, but I got it down. I am sorry that you're having a difficult time. If it were my house I'd tell them that they eat what I fricken have or they can all go find someplace else to eat. I have no patience for that crap. I've made decent meals for my family and they've refused to eat it cuz they're "vegan". Even cookies. I just share with my boyfriend. They can eat their rotting animal flesh.

[tommybricks]

They are in your home. You do not deserve to be anyone's doormat. Live and eat how you normally would and let them join you. Don't cater to to disrespectful guests. Trust me, you might think your being a bitch, but if you can't love yourself you surely can't love your family, so have some regard for your own wellbeing. Also, you can't control what other people do or think or believe, so keep the focus on yourself and let them be where they are,

[DV]

When I first went vegan, I made a few omni meals for others. That lasted about 4 months. Now, I don't allow any animal products at my table (with one exeption). It's easy because most of the family respects me and a few of them are vegan.

 

We did have a problem at Thanksgiving this year when my stepson and his fiance insisted on having turkey. It's fortunate that I live next door to a market that had them ready made and cooked all day long. It wasn't worth the battle because arguing over it was causing problems with my husband. They won't be invited back for a holiday.

 

I've served many omnis (not many children) and have found that a few signature dishes which you make really well tends to work. Seitan is almost always a big hit, especially with men. If you make it yourself, you can control the density, taste, shape and size of the pieces. Seitan piccata (lemon, caper sauce) is one dish I make. Seitan coated with ground hazelnuts served with a mushroom sauce or a brandy, mustard, shallot cream sauce goes over well for the real foodies (I make my cream with cashews).

 

Having family members or guests with open minds helps a lot but you can't control that. If I had family members who insisted on having animal products then I would tell them to prepare the food themselves at the very least. If you're new to veganism then the less confrontation the better with your family. They will eventually make their peace with your choices and you will all find a way to coexist that is at least doable if not optimal.