What do you think affects YOUR taste in a partner?

[GRardB]

Before starting, let me state:

This topic discusses race/ethnicity/culture/etc. If you are [very] easily offended, I wouldn't recommend reading.

I am not prejudice in any way, shape or form. My father is a civil rights lawyer and has taught me better.

I am of mixed heritage (Puerto Rican, Irish, Scottish, German, Polish, Lithuanian).

I am Roman Catholic, although not religious at all.

 

So, I'm not sure why it's on my mind...I guess it's because I was talking to my friend (Creole or African American, whichever you prefer) and he said that he had met a black girl that he was interested in, and stated "I finally like my own race again!"

 

I always wondered what affected one's taste in the opposite sex (or sometimes the same sex). As I said before, I am Hispanic/white, and I have been attracted to those groups my whole life. I didn't grow up around too many African Americans, or anyone from the east (Arabs, Indians, East Asians, etc.) although I did know a few. Entering a high school in New York introduced me to many different cultures (I am 17 now) although it was an all-boy school, and I don't go that way I transfered to a school in New Jersey with much greater diversity (many more Indians and East Asians specifically). I can honestly say that I've found girls of all different races/ethnicities to be attractive, but I've always had a stronger attraction to Hispanic and white girls.

 

I've only dated one girl in my life (and she's my current girlfriend, 1 year and 9 months so far). She's full Polish Even though I've found many different girls physically attractive, I have never "liked" a girl that wasn't Hispanic or white, as far as I remember. I'm not racist at all, as I said before. As many veg*ns, probably, I love diversity and different cultures (especially because of different foods, haha). I always point out flaws in people's ideas or thoughts about race/religion/culture (like when people refer to Indians as Hindus or when they say Indians = Arabs = Hindus = Muslims, etc.) Racism is obviously not the reason why I seem to be mostly attracted to my own race(s).

 

I've asked other people, and they also usually prefer their own ethnic groups for their mates. Is this the case for most people around the world, just Americans, or just certain ethnic groups?

 

What do you think affects your taste? Post the types of people you are usually attracted to. Don't be ashamed, I won't be offended if somebody says they don't usually date whites or Hispanics, and other people shouldn't be offended either.

 

Also, do you think that restricted taste will affect diversity in individual people in the long run? My dad believes that one day, there will be no "race" (even though race doesn't really exist, although there are many different skin tones, eye colors, etc.). He believes that eventually, all humans will have some kind of tannish skin, with similar eye/hair color (most likely brown/black, since those are most common). Do you think that restricted taste can/will prevent this from happening?

 

Just thoughts and questions thrown out there. If anything I wrote wasn't PC, just tell me and I'll fix it up.

 

Gerard

 

P.S: I don't really agree with the idea of "race". I just use it here as an easy way of categorizing people by their physical appearance (although I know that different white [European] people look different from each other, different black [African] peoples look different from each other, etc.). I just don't know of any other way of referring to groups of people by their appearance.

[inteja]

I think it's hard-wired in the brain to prefer one's own race/culture and be cautious/suspect/fearful of strangers from other races and cultures. It's the same in the animal kingdom. Safety in numbers. Safety in identifying predominantly with one's own tribe. Many animals are tribal. Humans are too. On the other hand, inter-tribal and interracial breading promotes genetic diversity, so from a purely evolutionary point of view, at least some people would need to be attracted to different races to improve the survival chances of the species as a whole.

 

Either way, I think we're intelligent (albeit far from "enlightened") enough and have more than enough information of and exposure to other cultures to overcome this hard-wired suspicion in most cases.

 

Of interest is the work of Dr. Stephen Marquardt showing that (facial) beauty is about symmetry and proportion, irrespective of race.

 

For me, I can't honestly say that I've had a great deal of close exposure to non-caucasion people (not close enough to ever be in a position to pluck up the courage to ask someone out anyway - I'm shy, whatever the colour or creed ). My first ever "date" was with a mixed heritage, dark skinned girl, but she asked me out so maybe that doesn't count.

 

Growing up I guess I've gone through phases of being physically attracted to different races. I know I had a thing for Japanese girls for a long while, but maybe that's because I really like long, dark flowing hair (on any girl).

[Richard]

Yeah I tend to be more physically attracted to caucasians. But I would have relationship with a person of any ethnicity. I imagine it is some kind of ancient biological thingie-ma-poop that creates this trend of attraction, I dunno the value of the division though. But there are some people who are more attracted to ethnicities other than their own.

[Marcina]

I'm more attracted to personality and whatnot. I had a crush on a black guy in the 7th grade, and I dated an Indian guy one time. I've dated a few redheads, some chunky monkeys, a geek, a bad boy.. Most of them didn't last. My longest relationship was almost 4 years long. He was a really smart guy, a computer nerd who loved video games like me. Unfortunately he got into drugs and alcohol and I left him. It was just marijuana, but still.. He was ruining his brain with it. He was so bright but never really acknowledged it.. It made me sad.

 

Then of course there's Silvio. It will be 2 years in August. He's Italian, so my whole family loves him. It's funny when we're out together because I'm so much younger looking than he is and he's way brown and I'm white haha. Sometimes, when I don't wear makeup and we go out.. People ask him if I'm his daughter or something :S

I tell him it's not because he looks old, but because I look like I'm 16, which is true.

 

A picture of us at the beach last weekend

 

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y267/Marcina_leigh/IMG_8137.jpg

[xjohanx]

I'VE NEVER SLEPT WITH A BLACK GIRL!!!

[GRardB]

I'VE NEVER SLEPT WITH A BLACK GIRL!!!

 

lmao, that had me laughing pretty good.

[sydneyvegan]

Well, I can't comment on attraction to the opposite sex, but I can comment on what I think effects attraction in general.

I agree with a lot of the thought people have posted already, I also think it has a lot to do with how and where you have been raised, as well as people you have been exposed to etc.

I think if you are raised in multi-cultural setting and have postive experiences with people of all races and backgrounds, through friendships etc, then you are more likely to be attracted to people of all types.

I also think simple things, such as the TV shows you watched as a kid, can have an impact on the type of partner you are attracted to.

I tend to be attracted to White boys and anyone from the mediterranean (Greek, Italian, Turkish, Spanish, Lebanese, Israeli etc).

My background is pretty much 100% Anglo-Saxon, so not totally sure where this mediterranean attraction comes from... Although I do remember one of my first TV crushes was on a Greek guy, with smouldering eyes, that was in a cop show.

[Dr. Pink]

Guacamole. That should affect the taste.....

 

Oh...um....I didn't mean it that way. Just a play on words