Circular logic:

[Odidnetne]

Circular logic can be described as making a statement, and taking one word out of that statement and putting it in another, and continue going on and on with assumptions, saying they are connected, a simple example is:

 

The sky is blue.

The word blue has 4 letters.

4 is Symbolic of death in Japanese culture.

Dead people are driven to their place of rest in hearses:

 

It eventually goes on and on until you link it back with blue.

 

Anyway, my friends and I have made some long, ridiculously silly circular logic situations over the past 3 or so years, but a couple weeks ago, my friend did the unthinkable, he turned an essay into a 3 page paper about circular logic and handed it in as an assignment to a college professor. This is pretty silly, and he had to rewrite it and the professor refused to grade it, but I haven't found one person who hasn't laughed at this, and so I thought I'd post it here (the main reason he did this is because he feels it's impossible to write a 3 page paper about a 3 line poem).

 

 

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The falling Flower, the first line of this beautiful poem. Florists sell flowers. Florists also give discounts and specials during holidays. Holidays are a byproduct of religion. Religion was instituted to keep a check on society. The study of society is known as Sociology. Durkheim, one of the founding fathers of sociology, believed that social inequality is essential. An inequality sign in math is also known as a 'less than', or 'greater than' sign. Sign's are found on roads, to govern how we drive and inform us of danger ahead. Govern is the root word in government. The president of the U.S government is named George w. Bush. Certain types of monkeys can be taught to read, however any attempt at speech is incoherent. Speech rhymes with peach. Peaches are fur covered fruits first brought to the states by the Spaniards. Columbus was a Spaniard. Columbus sailed boats. Boats float. Float and drift are synonyms, which brings us to the next line of the haiku I saw drift back to the branch.

 

The branch in the poem gives the reader a mental image of a branch in the water. Meaning this branch must have fallen; when it fell do you think anyone heard it? Fallen is another word used to describe someone who dies in battle. Battles take place during wars. War is bad. O.J Simpson was bad. O.J's case took place during the 90's. The 90's was an awesome time for music. Music soothes the savage beast. Gilgamesh slew a savage beast. Gilgamesh was also the star of his own epic poem. A haiku is a poem with the first line having five syllables, the second line consisting of seven, and the third line once again with five. Five plus seven plus five is seventeen. Seventeen is a magazine for women. The word magazine also refers to a clip of bullets for a gun. Gun control is ineffective because if a person wants to own a gun, they will find the means. Also our nations constitution protects the right to own guns. Our constitution contains the bill of rights. The bill of rights is the first ten amendments. According to the bible, god gave us the first ten commandments. Coincidence? Sounds like pestilence. Transcendentalists like to travel off the beaten path. Pathmark is a store, similar to that of CVS. SAT is an acronym for Student Assessment Test. The SAT was a giant test everyone was pressured to take, simply so they could find out just how well they would do on the SATs. This is a metaphor for life.

 

Life occurs in user-friendly packages. Microsoft Windows was built to be user friendly. Put enough monkeys is a room and they'll eventually come up with Shakespeare. Shakespeare wrote Romeo and Juliet. Since then the central theme has been copied quite a few times. Libraries offer copying services for five to ten cents. There are five pennies to one nickel. Senator John Kerry wanted to remove the penny denomination if he were to become president. John Kerry was a politician. The word politics can be easily broken into two separate parts; poly the Greek suffix for many, tics blood sucking insects. Vampires suck blood. Blood doesn't wash out of clothing. Clothing is made up of many tiny threads woven together to form an intricate fabric. ENRON fabricated an entire conglomeration, as well as their earnings, to make a huge profit for themselves via the stock market. Subway is a conglomeration. Homeless people live in subways. Volunteer units offer free soup to the homeless. Chicken soup is good when you're sick. Sickness occurs when your body is infected with a virus or bacteria. Bacterium are single celled organisms.

 

Prisoners live in cells. Minor drug offenders fill our prison system and waste taxpayer money. Money is the alleged root of all evil. Darth Vader was evil, but even the ultimate bad guy joins the good side. Darth Vader was black. Jesus was black. Prove that wrong. Receipts are proof of purchase. The Louisiana purchase was when we bought Louisiana from Napoleon. How short do you think you have to be in Korea to have a Napoleon complex? M.A.S.H was set in Korea. M.A.S.H had horrible actors. Kevin Bacon is a horrible actor. The writer of this essay just worked Kevin Bacon into a literary explanation about a Haiku. John Candy was an actor in Canadian Bacon. Candy is ruining the dental hygiene of America. Seven out of ten dentists are members of the America Dental Association. ADA sounds like A.D.D. The ironic part is A.D.D was mentioned in an essay that skips from topic to topic to arrive at logical correlations. 1.00 is the strongest possible correlation between two happenings in psychology. What's Happening was a popular T.V show in the 70's. A popular subject among nerds are crop circles. Circles have a lot to do with Chaos theory. Chaos theory is also know as the Butterfly Effect. The last line of our haiku follows this closely with Was a butterfly. Creating many, multiple, random images in the readers mind.

[veggymeggy]

I'd have given him an A.

[Gorilla]

Brilliant!

 

Did you see this webpage?

 

http://members.tripod.com/~r.vaughn/artofcompression.html

[Shelby]

My brain just exploded after reading that.

 

Absolutely GENIUS!!!