Farts

[Richard]

hurrr fartchucks yeah, perhaps shurifarts or fartsu no jutsu

[andgbr]

hurrr fartchucks yeah, perhaps shurifarts or fartsu no jutsu

 

ninja farts are silent and fatal..

[Michelle]

 

Kinda juvenile, but kinda hilarious.

[jonzen]

Whoa! Michelle! I am reviewing indie films for a film series for next year. I would love to toss this one into the mix for reviewers! Hilarious!

 

This is a subject that everyone relates to, especially, I think, during the Holidays, and all the soynog and tokurkey. But I digress....

 

Question: How do you spell the sound of a fart? In junior high I used to spell it something like ppphhrrrraaaaarrrrrrrt. Would love to "hear" yours!

[VegaNick]

After I went vegan, I never farted, and My farts never smelled bad.

 

After I moved into the dorms, and started eating at fresh food where I eat tons of fruits and vegetables, I can't stop farting and they smell terrible. Im not sure if it was the food, the stress or a combination of the two, but I'm going to the doctor

[Guest]

I must say I can't say the same about my farts...unless I'm fasting(in that case I actually fart more) my farts seem to always smell terrible and no food seems to change that...sure sometimes the smell worse than other times but I have trouble relating that to my food.

[hmm1219]

I'm a transplanted Yankee, and down here (Georgia) they call this phenomenon "pooting" (imagine a gentile Southern accent saying it). Anyhow, poots--esp with whole food eaters--are often the result of the oligosaccharide component of some items, such as beans (specifically their skins). Other fibrous components of whole foods like grains, fruits and veggies are just tough to digest. The broken down components of these--the sugars in particular--are eaten by intestinal bacteria, the digestion of which causes gas. Sometimes the overpopulation in the gut of some bacteria can amplify this, and some people can benefit from a re-balancing by eliminating some foods, cleaning the colon out (colonics, products taken orally, etc.), and ingesting probiotic rich foods such as raw cultured veggies and coconut kefir. Taking a probiotic can be helpful as well. I don't find a big difference with digestive enzymes (some companies such as Bluebonnet make a formula specific for vegetarian needs), but some patients of mine have. Again, everyone is different.

 

Consider also an intolerance to some foods. M-A-N-Y people are intolerant to wheat gluten (I use this example since dairy and other foods don't apply to this crowd), and gas is just one symptom of the irritation to the GI tract. I personally notice a link with anything in the onion family (darn!), such as onions/garlic/leeks, and then with less obvious stuff such as grapes. Point: pay attention to your own reaction to stuff.

 

Additionally, even vegans can have lazy digestion. Just being vegan does not = health. Cleansing, exercising, and other means help exercise the digestive tract and keep things from hanging out in there too long, thus giving the bacteria more time at the buffet.

 

Personally, there is an upswing in my "pooting" pre-contest. On my fitness team there are omnis, vegs, and vegans. We ALL go through this pre-contest, and notice an increase in volume and stinkiness. My only guess is the veggies, since that's the common denominator in our diets, and we're all low-starch and fruit at that point. And--desperate for flavor and being able to chew--we all increase our gum consumption big time, and the sorbitol in it is a big culprit, not too mention the air-swallowing. Basically, it's equally as un-ladylike for all of us. And then, under normal circumstances, I'm pretty much rivaling a brass band with the tooting. Just ask my husband. What can I say? I love cooking, and I love onion-y stuff.

 

Sorry about the dissertation. And, yes, I'm a major geek.

[dudeofthedead]

I am not necessarily that huge of a farter even though it pretty much depends on the stuff you absorb but I've noticed, in my personal case, that I belch a lot - especially from eating apples, the thing is I just can't stay away from those bits of heaven! - ever since I switched to a vegan diet. But I think that's okay, I mean our food has to be digested somewhere along the way, right?

[Michelle]

I found this letter about farting from Benjamin Franklin rather amusing, and even on-topic:

 

GENTLEMEN,

 

I have perused your late mathematical Prize Question, proposed in lieu of one in Natural Philosophy, for the ensuing year, viz. "Une figure quelconque donnee, on demande d’y inscrire le plus grand nombre de fois possible une autre figure plus-petite quelconque, qui est aussi donnee". I was glad to find by these following Words, "l’Acadeemie a jugee que cette deecouverte, en eetendant les bornes de nos connoissances, ne seroit pas sans UTILITE", that you esteem Utility an essential Point in your Enquiries, which has not always been the case with all Academies; and I conclude therefore that you have given this Question instead of a philosophical, or as the Learned express it, a physical one, because you could not at the time think of a physical one that promis’d greater_Utility.

 

Permit me then humbly to propose one of that sort for your consideration, and through you, if you approve it, for the serious Enquiry of learned Physicians, Chemists, &c. of this enlightened Age. It is universally well known, That in digesting our common Food, there is created or produced in the Bowels of human Creatures, a great Quantity of Wind.

 

That the permitting this Air to escape and mix with the Atmosphere, is usually offensive to the Company, from the fetid Smell that accompanies it.

 

That all well-bred People therefore, to avoid giving such Offence, forcibly restrain the Efforts of Nature to discharge that Wind.

 

That so retain’d contrary to Nature, it not only gives frequently great present Pain, but occasions future Diseases, such as habitual Cholics, Ruptures, Tympanies, &c. often destructive of the Constitution, & sometimes of Life itself.

 

Were it not for the odiously offensive Smell accompanying such Escapes, polite People would probably be under no more Restraint in discharging such Wind in Company, than they are in spitting, or in blowing their Noses.

 

My Prize Question therefore should be, To discover some Drug wholesome & not disagreable, to be mix’d with our common Food, or Sauces, that shall render the natural Discharges of Wind from our Bodies, not only inoffensive, but agreable as Perfumes.

 

That this is not a chimerical Project, and altogether impossible, may appear from these Considerations. That we already have some Knowledge of Means capable of Varying that Smell. He that dines on stale Flesh, especially with much Addition of Onions, shall be able to afford a Stink that no Company can tolerate; while he that has lived for some Time on Vegetables only, shall have that Breath so pure as to be insensible to the most delicate Noses; and if he can manage so as to avoid the Report, he may any where give Vent to his Griefs, unnoticed. But as there are many to whom an entire Vegetable Diet would be inconvenient, and as a little Quick-Lime thrown into a Jakes will correct the amazing Quantity of fetid Air arising from the vast Mass of putrid Matter contain’d in such Places, and render it rather pleasing to the Smell, who knows but that a little Powder of Lime (or some other thing equivalent) taken in our Food, or perhaps a Glass of Limewater drank at Dinner, may have the same Effect on the Air produc’d in and issuing from our Bowels? This is worth the Experiment. Certain it is also that we have the Power of changing by slight Means the Smell of another Discharge, that of our Water. A few Stems of Asparagus eaten, shall give our Urine a disagreable Odour; and a Pill of Turpentine no bigger than a Pea, shall bestow on it the pleasing Smell of Violets. And why should it be thought more impossible in Nature, to find Means of making a Perfume of our Wind than of our Water?

 

For the Encouragement of this Enquiry, (from the immortal Honour to be reasonably expected by the Inventor) let it be considered of how small Importance to Mankind, or to how small a Part of Mankind have been useful those Discoveries in Science that have heretofore made Philosophers famous. Are there twenty Men in Europe at this Day, the happier, or even the easier, for any Knowledge they have pick’d out of Aristotle? What Comfort can the Vortices of Descartes give to a Man who has Whirlwinds in his Bowels! The Knowledge of Newton’s mutual Attraction of the Particles of Matter, can it afford Ease to him who is rack’d by their mutual Repulsion, and the cruel Distensions it occasions? The Pleasure arising to a few Philosophers, from seeing, a few Times in their Life, the Threads of Light untwisted, and separated by the Newtonian Prism into seven Colours, can it be compared with the Ease and Comfort every Man living might feel seven times a Day, by discharging freely the Wind from his Bowels? Especially if it be converted into a Perfume: For the Pleasures of one Sense being little inferior to those of another, instead of pleasing the Sight he might delight the Smell of those about him, & make Numbers happy, which to a benevolent Mind must afford infinite Satisfaction. The generous Soul, who now endeavours to find out whether the Friends he entertains like best Claret or Burgundy, Champagne or Madeira, would then enquire also whether they chose Musk or Lilly, Rose or Bergamot, and provide accordingly. And surely such a Liberty of Expressing one’s Scent-iments, and pleasing one another, is of infinitely more Importance to human Happiness than that Liberty of the Press, or of abusing one another, which the English are so ready to fight & die for. -- In short, this Invention, if compleated, would be, as Bacon expresses it, bringing Philosophy home to Mens Business and Bosoms. And I cannot but conclude, that in Comparison therewith, for universal and continual UTILITY, the Science of the Philosophers above-mentioned, even with the Addition, Gentlemen, of your "Figure quelconque" and the Figures inscrib’d in it, are, all together, scarcely worth a

 

 

FART-HING.

 

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I wanted to put the bold part in my signature, but it wouldn't fit.

 

http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/index.asp?document=470