disordered eating, calorie restriction and emotions

[milochka]

dear vegan forum members:

i've run into several problems when i tried to manage my weight (or rather, reshape my body and get down to certain numbers). for example, i ate pretty clean for most of the summer, yet from a low calorie diet, my academic performance suffered and all i was thinking about was "when is my next meal". yes, i did end up losing some fat ... but then, i had to attend a wedding and they've had all those delicious looking pastries. while i managed to eat vegan during the main course, i simply couldnt resist the desserts - i grabbed like five different pieces to try and poked my fork at some of it - really a bad experience ...

then, after i returned home and had to deal with some very stressful situations here, i had a really bad four-day binge. i was like an alcoholic - its really embarassing to admit.

also, when i'm "normal" around food - i.e. on a restricted calorie diet and exercising, i eat really healthy vegan. but if i'm not - then i binge and i especially crave things like organic butter, ice cream, NON whole grain breads, pastries and other junk.

i really would like to be at peace with my food and body, and not feel guilty about eating. i am seeing a counselor, in case any of you are wondering. should i be taking any supplements or perhaps there is something that my body is lacking? any and all suggestions are welcome. <3

[Guest]

How long have you been eating vegan??? It may just be something you have to suffer through and get used to. Alcoholics are a great example as well as cigarette smokers. Its hardest the first few weeks and as they get further and further from their last drink of puff it gets easier and easier to not take part in that action. Also you may feel less guilty eating vegan junk. Not that its healthy but it is just as good if you know what to look for.

[the Asocial Ape]

just suck it up. when you get a craving, picture all the animals in torment that were the source of that food, and remember that by eating omni, you're saying 'i don't care about their suffering'. visualize yourself looking in their eyes, and saying 'i don't care about you'.

[Tasha]

What's your fitness scedule like?

It seems to me that you're not getting enough calories and all the right nutrients your body needs. That is why you crave those high fat and sugary things. Also if you drink caffien you're going to crave junk.

If you crave something sweet, eat fruit.

[JackinForSweets]

I can TOTALLY relate to how you feel. I don't struggle with the vegan part of my diet but I DO struggle with the cravings for the not so good foods like white bread, white sugar, all kinds of cakes and other crap that is so good tasting but so not good for me. These foods, even when vegan, can lead to weight gain and other nasty stuff that I now have to face and deal with. I don't have a simple answer since I am on the same path as you but I do recommend that you read the book called Breaking the Food Seduction by Dr. Neal Bernard. I LOVE Dr. Bernard and I find his books to be very informative and easy to understand.

 

Check it out! It might just have some tips and ideas to help you break free from your cravings and make your transition to a vegan diet that much easier! I know the info I have gleaned from his books have helped me move in the right direction.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Food-Seduction-Cravings-Naturally/dp/B000GFR9TO/ref=pd_bbs_3/105-5091892-1359605?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1189880448&sr=8-3

[Clever Name]

Milochka, I can relate to much of what you're describing. I also struggle with disordered eating and used to struggle with cravings for omni desserts. It's a lot better since there's so much vegan junk out there, but of course, that takes care of the vegan part, not the binge part.

 

I will speak only for myself in terms of what seems to be working for me now: I'm tracking my calories every day. I have a food plan I follow during the week, for convenience as well as to ensure I'm getting the right balance of nutrition for my body. On the weekends, nothing is off-limits, but in contrast to before, when I took a "head in the sand" approach and figured that as long as I'm "off plan," might as well binge, I research the cals to the best of my ability, understanding that it may be somewhat inaccurate, but knowing it's better than saying, "What the hell, I'll just eat until it hurts." My body doesn't care (much!) whether an order of vegan chili cheese fries is 600 or 800 calories, but it DOES know the difference between ending the meal after the fries and going on to have 6 vegan cookies, a pint of vegan ice cream, and a bag of kettle korn. Does that make sense?

 

This has been made much easier by having this calorie tracking as part of a partnership with a close friend of mine. We're both doing it and checking in once a week about what our eating and exercising behaviors have been.

 

I'm thrilled to say I haven't binged in over a month and a half. I can't remember the last month and a half I went without bingeing. I may have been 14. I'm 31. This is only what's worked for me; you may not find this helpful.

 

I can say that trying the approach recommended by the Asocial Ape did NOT help me transition to veganism. I carry around so much guilt about so many things, and I've yet to make a meaningful life change as a result of guilt. When I was trying to transition to veganism and I thought guilty/shame-based thoughts to try not to eat what I craved, I ended up thinking (eventually, if not immediately), "If feeling guilty all the time is what it means to be vegan, I want no part of it! I deserve to be happy, too...gimme!!!" It was remarkably similar to trying to picture high-calorie foods transforming into ugly fat on my body: both thought processes ended with wanting to rebel and resenting restricting myself around food. Trying to think about how "bad" I was being toward the animals transformed into resentment toward people who wanted me to think about that. This was prompted more by the lifestyle than the dietary aspect...for example, being on Rx meds that were of course animal tested during the development phase, not being able (at the time...it's gotten much better!) to find synthetic material athletic shoes that fit my special-needs feet, not protesting KFC, etc. I felt constantly "less than" other vegans. And I ended up eating omni foods as an f-you to, for example, the person who was quoted in The Vegan Sourcebook as saying (in reference to people who eat vegan but haven't "veganized" all the other areas of their lives), "Eating a vegan diet and calling yourself a vegan is like eating a kosher diet and calling yourself Jewish." Fine, then, bitch, since I'm not a vegan, I won't eat like one. Go to hell.

 

Again, though that's been MY experience. And at that time, there weren't as many tasty vegan treats...or I simply wasn't aware of them.

 

When guilt was taken out of the equation and I was patient with myself, "keeping vegan" became immeasurably easier. It comes from the joy of living my truth, not from the guilt of not doing well enough.

 

Asocial Ape, I'm not trying to say your way is ineffective...only that it didn't help ME.

 

And Milochka, I'll keep you in my thoughts. May you find peace with your eating day by day, and may you find the path that helps YOU on your own unique journey.

[milochka]

thank you all for your suggestions and replies and many kind words. finding balance and inner peace is certainly a challenging journey, but with such support, it seems achievable . god *or whatever you believe in * bless you all!

[New World Vegan]

Sounds like calorie restriction isn't for you. And it's not nessessary for losing weight. If you eat all you want of natural foods(especially fruit and veggies), your weight should normalize.

 

One key is to focus on what you should eat, not on what you shouldn't. Eventually, you'll get used to healthy food and see it as just the food you eat. I spent years obsessing over food, from lack of entertainment or satisfaction in my life. I never was happy that way. I eventually removed ALL unhealthy food from me diet and mind - it's just not a possibility for me now(like cocaine or skydiving). To satisfy my sweet tooth(all 26 of them), 10 pieces of fruit a day does it....especially very ripe bananas. Banana's are now like junk food to me.

 

And not to gloat, but inspire: When I have a stressful situation, I know my body is burning nutrients and creating toxins. So I eat better than usual. First thing I do is drink tea with vitamin C, exercise to use up the adrenaline, then some quick digesting food: fruit.

[jan]

Sounds like calorie restriction isn't for you. And it's not nessessary for losing weight. If you eat all you want of natural foods(especially fruit and veggies), your weight should normalize.

 

Thats incorrect!

If you want to lose weight (bodyfat) a calore deficit is absolutely necessary!

If you eat natural foods you can lose weight, too. Because fruit and veggies are low in calories, so you have a unconscious calorie-deficit.

If you choose calorie-concentrated foods like bananas, peanuts, coconut....and you have a calore-overplus you will gain bodyfat.

independent of natural foods.

[Guest]

Thats not completely true. Some people are very bad at absorbing nutrients so what you need is a deficit for what you burn and what you absorb. This is how people on the same diet with the same workouts and relatively the same hr(aka metabolism to some respect) can lose weight while the other may gain. I burn 3000+ a day on my bike(so science says but I don't believe it) but I know if I ate 3000 a day I'd gain weight fairly quickly. I need to eat 2000 or less before I even think about losing weight.

[hsorlando]

First you have to remember everyone is different in what works for them with their diet. I am not the most healthy eater either, but finally found what kind of works for me.Pretty much out of desperation I decided to try South Beach because some of what was written made a lot of sense. And it has helped me in switching off that part of you that craves sugar, and white bread pasta, etc. Sometimes if you want to stay away from non healthy choices you think you're depriving yourself. You could always have one meal a week where you cheat on your diet. I find this keeps me from feeling deprived of foods that I like. The only hard part is cheating only one time a week. Hope this helps.

[phillipeb]

I will speak only for myself in terms of what seems to be working for me now: I'm tracking my calories every day. I have a food plan I follow during the week, for convenience as well as to ensure I'm getting the right balance of nutrition for my body. On the weekends, nothing is off-limits, but in contrast to before, when I took a "head in the sand" approach and figured that as long as I'm "off plan," might as well binge, I research the cals to the best of my ability, understanding that it may be somewhat inaccurate, but knowing it's better than saying, "What the hell, I'll just eat until it hurts." My body doesn't care (much!) whether an order of vegan chili cheese fries is 600 or 800 calories, but it DOES know the difference between ending the meal after the fries and going on to have 6 vegan cookies, a pint of vegan ice cream, and a bag of kettle korn. Does that make sense?

 

I have to put in my two cents here. I use to be severly over weight at the 285 lb range. Through anorexia nervosa i lost a decent amount of weight and latter in life when i was already 185 lbs i restricted my coloric intake to less thana thousand calories a day quite often in the 700-800 calorie area. I dropped to 146lbs. I did this by caloric counting and journeling. Be cautious and know why you are tring to loose the weight try to identify the emotional reasonings for it. For me it was more than just the idealized weight form. I saw it as an escape at first then as a transental way of dealing with the intense pain in my life. (this was after the first boyfriend i had ever had physically abused me when i tried to break up with him) It seemed that as each lb dropped i was able to deal with one more thing in my life that i had stored as a negative. Because of my slowed down metabilism i was for once able to act singularly instead of rapidly and without focus as i had been all my life(i have adhd) I worked 3 different jobs as well as walked 6 miles a day. Luckily, I found myself at the end of it when i started eating alot again more healthy emotively for having done it. My body was however ravaged and muscle depletion is a problem for me now as i struggle with basic weight training. But i wanted to say that if you have an eating disorder be cautious of this approach.