Enjoying sex.

[andesuma]

Soo... I was wondering, how do all of you females relax during

intercourse when you know there is a chance of pregnancy??!

 

I just can't, and it makes my sex life nonexistent.

 

Plus the fact I'd prefer not to use a condom, and obviously

I'm not taking birth control. But regardless of whatever barrier

method you use, there is still always a chance.

 

 

I suppose the reason I worry is because I do not want children.

 

 

Anyhow, just a question... since my hormones are picking up these days.

 

 

Oh and..

Also, I do not get my period, so.. I don't even know if I'm fertile or not.

hmmm... I have heard you still ovulate though. So I just don't want to

risk it.

[Richard]

Just have other forms of sexual interaction, apart from penis-based penetratitive vaginal intercouse. I feel the same way, and so I don't have intercourse, because I don't want kids. It doesn't have to mean the end of your sex life, oral sex, and stimulation by hand or with whatever else can be good for females.

[Octopussoir]

"Oral-only" is what you can label yourself. Dont have kids until youre ready!! Its not bad when they can walk and talk and do stuff on their own, but before that is the real responsibility. I always used the pull-out method and it worked.... oh wait, I have a kid. *Doh*

[andesuma]

I feel I'm past the foreplay days.

 

I mean.... I love intimacy, and everything that leads up to sex.

But I have absolutely NO desire for anything else but the

penetration, if that makes sense?

 

 

Of course I am typically disappointed...so I know I need to re-evalute my hormonal needs vs. what I actually like in terms of intimacy.

 

I'm not desiring the actual physical act of sex, as much as the

bond that it creates with that person, the intense connection you have with another spiritual being while having intercourse.

Which only intercourse can provide.

 

 

 

 

It's not like I even have anyone I want to have sex with, let alone am dating...so, haha

I don't know what my deal is.

[Tasha]

I feel I'm past the foreplay days.

 

I mean.... I love intimacy, and everything that leads up to sex.

But I have absolutely NO desire for anything else but the

penetration, if that makes sense?

 

 

Of course I am typically disappointed...so I know I need to re-evalute my hormonal needs vs. what I actually like in terms of intimacy.

 

I'm not desiring the actual physical act of sex, as much as the

bond that it creates with that person, the intense connection you have with another spiritual being while having intercourse.

Which only intercourse can provide.

 

 

 

 

It's not like I even have anyone I want to have sex with, let alone am dating...so, haha

I don't know what my deal is.

 

I know how you feel. I think when I'm menstrating I have this sudden erge. But I feel fine when I take it out on my training.

That's my relationship.

Another thing you can do without having to worry about getting pregnate is go and buy yourself a fun toy.

[Guest]

Toys are always good. I like remote control cars the most.

[Zack]

Toys are always good. I like remote control cars the most.

 

 

Your sarcasm makes me laugh, that's why I heart you.

Edited September 6, 2007 by Zack

[DV]

Andesuma,

 

Have you thought about other methods of birth control? I had an IUD when I was younger. I wanted to have a tubal ligation (tubes tied) but it was difficult to find a willing OB/GYN considering I have never had children. Even finding a GYN for the IUD was difficult. The IUD was wonderful for abut 3 years and then I had some breakthrough bleeding so I had it removed. After that, I only dated men who were fixed (SOOOO much less of a risky procedure for them). I was on birth control pills for years and never realized how much they dampened my mood until I went off them - like a big weight off my shoulders.

[Tasha]

Toys are always good. I like remote control cars the most.

 

 

Edited September 6, 2007 by Tasha

[andesuma]

Andesuma,

 

Have you thought about other methods of birth control? I had an IUD when I was younger. I wanted to have a tubal ligation (tubes tied) but it was difficult to find a willing OB/GYN considering I have never had children. Even finding a GYN for the IUD was difficult. The IUD was wonderful for abut 3 years and then I had some breakthrough bleeding so I had it removed. After that, I only dated men who were fixed (SOOOO much less of a risky procedure for them). I was on birth control pills for years and never realized how much they dampened my mood until I went off them - like a big weight off my shoulders.

 

Yah I have.. but so far the only method I've found that seems like it

would be remotely natural is that maybemom.com thing, as well as

Neem oil/seed.. but, I mean even WITH anything, I still worry like crazy and cannot relax.

 

That's mostly what I'm curious about... is how do you actually relax when

there is always a chance. Guys really have no idea what women deal

with, especially because I DON'T want children.

So, the irony of life would have me get pregnant, I just know it....

haha

 

 

 

Anyhow, I'm currently just sexually frustrated... so lame.

 

 

But that is a good point Tasha, however when I train frequently, which

I am planning on getting more into very soon...my sex drive goes thru

the roof (I normally have no sex drive, so that's a great thing for me).

So I don't know how much good MORE physical activity is going to do me.

[DV]

Wow, tough one. I used BCPs when I was your age and then the IUD. There's no way I could have relaxed otherwise. And even then there's a risk.

 

You're absolutely correct - men and boys have no idea. The consequences for women are truly unfair. I've worked in Planned Parenthood clinics and felt for every woman who came through that door. We are all vulnerable to pregnancy in most intimate hetero relationships.

 

One of the nice things about getting older is you meet men who have actually had vasectomies. NOT that I suggest you date older men. That will come soon enough. Date the young ones while you can. Or mix it up if you like.

 

I think if men were the ones who got pregnant we would have many more birth control options................

[andesuma]

And this is probably like...the first time in 4 years(if not EVER)

that I have felt sexually frustrated.

 

It's just a weird feeling.... ugh , sex is evil.

And I know I won't be having any for a very long time, so I guess

that is what makes it even more frustrating.

 

 

I guess it gives me time to figure out a birth control method I like though.

haha..

[Tasha]

That's not lame to feel that way.

 

Thanks for the topic

[andesuma]

Yeah.. I agree.

 

 

Maybe I am just intimacy frustrated.. I don't know really.

I'd like a connection with someone, or.. to "explore" an intimate

connection with someone that is.

But I don't want a relationship(commitment).

But I don't want "friends with benefits" either.

 

Soooo.... does anyone know what a relationship like that could be

defined as?

haha

 

I know, I know.. , I am perfectly happy being single. But my morals

get in the way when I meet a guy I am interested in, but

don't want to do anything with that person unless we're in a relationship.

But I don't want a relationship to begin with.

 

 

 

 

I really just need to declare celibacy...

[DV]

Sex is NOT evil. And if it is then I'm going to hell.

 

Seriously, most women don't ever get the chance to even discuss this topic because of how screwed up our culture is.

[andesuma]

Sex is NOT evil. And if it is then I'm going to hell.

 

Seriously, most women don't ever get the chance to even discuss this topic because of how screwed up our culture is.

 

 

Oh I know, I just mean desiring sex.. I don't mean in a negative religious way, just that it's bitter sweet.

Mostly bitter.

[DV]

I hear you.

 

Sex is one of those human needs/desires that has way too much baggage. We all figure out our own way to deal with it but it's something that we don't ever have total control over. Even when we think we do.

[andesuma]

I hear you.

 

Sex is one of those human needs/desires that has way too much baggage. We all figure out our own way to deal with it but it's something that we don't ever have total control over. Even when we think we do.

 

 

Very well said!

[tommybricks]

If you definitely don't want kids, why not consider having your tubes tied???

 

If you really want intimacy there is going to be some type of relationship. Sex is a relationship, and intimacy only happens between people who care about each other, but you don't have to be in a committed monagomous relationship to have intimacy. That kind of relationship isn't even natural.

 

I guess you have to accept that sex is heavy thing with heavy consequences, its not a game. I was voluntarily abstinent for 18 months, but now I cannot go without being with a girl, waking up to her stroking my face, smelling her, seeing my bite marks on her shoulder. God, what else is there to live for?!

[Christopher]

(I normally have no sex drive,

 

You mention no sex drive and not getting a period. Have you ever had a blood draw to have hormone levels checked? Increased prolactin levels can stop a period and reduce sex drive.

 

Of course I'm no doctor, but increased prolactin levels are more common than a lot of people think, and it can really do some strange things to the body.

 

Christopher

[milochka]

Soo... I was wondering, how do all of you females relax during

intercourse when you know there is a chance of pregnancy??!

 

I just can't, and it makes my sex life nonexistent.

 

Plus the fact I'd prefer not to use a condom, and obviously

I'm not taking birth control. But regardless of whatever barrier

method you use, there is still always a chance.

 

 

I suppose the reason I worry is because I do not want children.

 

 

Anyhow, just a question... since my hormones are picking up these days.

 

 

Oh and..

Also, I do not get my period, so.. I don't even know if I'm fertile or not.

hmmm... I have heard you still ovulate though. So I just don't want to

risk it.

 

are you sure you're getting in enough calories? great calorie reduction over great periods of time could lead to amennorhia *spelling?* ---> anorexia

[Odidnetne]

If you definitely don't want kids, why not consider having your tubes tied???

 

Or be with a guy who's had his tubes tied, since it's much less painful, risks of infection and all. I'm suprised it got to page 2 before someone suggested that.

[Zack]

If you definitely don't want kids, why not consider having your tubes tied???

 

Or be with a guy who's had his tubes tied, since it's much less painful, risks of infection and all. I'm suprised it got to page 2 before someone suggested that.

 

DV did.

[BJJVegan]

If you definitely don't want kids, why not consider having your tubes tied???

 

You cant easily have your tubes tied at a young age.

[xveganjoshx]

I like sex. Is nice.