Ryofire

Had a good New Year's Eve, I at least got some morning Cardio in. Goodbye 2009.

Hey thendanissays, Let me just say you make an exccellent point. I enjoy hearing this from you because you obviously know what marijuana does first hand. I never tried the stuff and quite honestly never want to try it, especially after reading what you just wrote. However what I do know from first hand is having anxiety attaches. Since I have Aspergers Syndrome, I deal with high levels of anxiety and depression from time to time. And you know the hard part is that whenever I try to seek not only help, but support, people tell me to "just move on," "just get over it" "just walk away," etc. I've even dealt with people on these forums saying it as well. When someone has clinical anxiety or clinical depression never mind Aspergers Syndrome or Autism, telling someone to "just get over," "stop playing the victim," or anything like that is like telling someone in a wheelchair to walk upstairs. And I know this is coming from someone who has been in a psych hospital, but only a complete heartless psycho would say that kind of garbage.

That being said Wobbly Lifter, you said, "to me veganism is nothing about health or keeping "garbage" out of my body. It's about not commodifying, oppressing, and exploiting animals." You were quoting what I said earlier, "how are you going to be so concerned about what goes into your body and yet put such garbage into it by smoking?" What I ment by that was as vegans we're are already so concerned about eating animals, or anything that comes from an animals. Not to mention trying not to wear fur, leather, etc, as well as support animal testing and what not. But yet by supporting the tobacco company you're not helping any animal anywhere by supporting the tobbacco company. Not to mention you're not supporting any human neither by smoking or supporting the tobacco company. I also agree with you when you said, "Hell capitalism has turned corn producers into an dietary evil empire, damaging our health in many ways, but corn isn't wrong." But let me ask you this, what about these plants, http://aggie-horticulture.tamu.edu/plantanswers/publications/poison/poison.html. They're plants, but would you ingest them or put them into your body? As far as the Sacred Cree Ceremonies go, as long as they're used for ceremonial purposes only than that's alright. However what I don't like is people who do it recreationally, because that's when it becomes unhealthy. And in regards to the Sheesha lounges (or Hookah lounges), like I mentioned earlier about the toabacco companies, "you can't just completly shut them down neither. Many people would lose their jobs as a result. And you know what happens when people lose their jobs."

To me veganism is nothing about health or keeping "garbage" out of my body. It's about not commodifying, oppressing, and exploiting animals. Yes, tobacco companies have engaged in unethical behavior, much like many other companies. Hell capitalism has turned corn producers into an dietary evil empire, damaging our health in many ways, but corn isn't wrong. People are going to use a plants a wide variety of reasons - nice to look at, eat, in religious ceremonies, as medicine, to get high, maybe even smoke. saying that smoking a plant is un-vegan or hypocritical is just silly. are you going to bust into sheesha lounges and yell at people for having a relaxing time. maybe shut down a Cree Sacred Pipe ceremony As long as the tobacco isn't tested on animals it's as vegan as rice and beans. Rant on/ \Ok First off and this goes for everybody not just you Wobbly Lifter. Like I said earlier, please don't put words in my mouth. And for that maybe please read and understand all of what I said, rather than pick and choose what you want to read from what and make negative comments. Rant off/

Battling with anxiety today. It was through the roof today. I nearly had another panic attack. Luckily though I managed to get some morning cardio in with some Hung Gar practice.

really funny opinion. so killing is okay as long as it is your job? or at least you can't stop killing (animals, humans, whatever) cause that would lead to unemployment? sorry, you're missing the point. sometimes you have to set priorities. When it comes to self defense that's a whole other issue of wheither killing is right or wrong. But if self defense is not involved than killing is wrong period no matter who does it. And I never said, "killing is okay as long as it is your job." I was only saying that it's hard to deal with companies like the tobacco company because shutting them down completly would cause a lot of job losses and unemployment. So please don't put words in my mouth.

One thing that also really upsets me is that I take veganism very seriously not just as a dietary preferance, but as a way of life. Unfortunatly there are those who give veganism a bad name. Especially those hipster douchebags who annoy the fuck out of us all. It's like how are you going to be so concerned about what goes into your body and yet put such garbage into it by smoking. Also how are you going to say you're against the torture and mistreatment of animals, but yet you support the torture, mistreatment, and murder of your own species. I understand tobacco is a major import/export, but as I mentioned before I have not only lost my grandmother to smoking, but several other family members, extended family members and even friends to smoking. Unfortunatly that's how corporate greed works. Like McDonald's, they don't care about the health of their customers, they just care about making profit. They know how bad of a reputation they have, yet they try to pass themselves as something good, when in reality they are the very definition of evil. Selling death to someone is pure evil no matter who says it. The sad part is that you can't just completly shut them down neither. Many people would lose their jobs as a result. And you know what happens when people lose their jobs.

I'm actually trying to get my certificate in Exercise and Health Science. I plan on becoming either a personal trainer/health and life fitness consulant. Once I get a steady enough carreer going I would love to pursue a voice acting career. I actually have some impressions videos on youtube. The account name is the same as my profile name here.

One more thing that I want to mention is that it is also a matter of animal rights too. I often join the M.A.R.C (Massachusetts Animal Rights Coalition) to partake in several protests against Harvard University. With us there are even doctors and other fellow enviornmental chemists, biologists, scientists, etc who opose it as well. The reason is simply because Harvard University is responsible for horrific experiments done to primates. One of these experiments is seeing how primates react to not only cigarettes, but to more severe drugs such as cocaine. That being said I've said my opinion on the subject, so I wish to read other's opinions. And as always if you are are going to be disrespectful please don't comment at all.

http://caloriecount.about.com/vegans-vegetarians-smoke-ft113974 This was quite an interesting link to read other's opinions on this specific topic. However, like I've said in many other posts before, it's really ignorant and hypocritical that anyone would call themselves vegetarian/vegan and smoke. Despite our complicated relationship I lost my grandmother to emphyzema caused by smoking. She smoked ever since she was 11 and continued to do so even when she was on oxygen. Also as someone who is going into the health field I even see those who are doctors and nurse smoking. Like someone said in the link above, "many doctors smoke and they're in the best position to see the damage caused." To be fair I just want to see that you can't just quit, nicotine is a physically addicting substance. Nicotine withdrawls include: An intense craving for nicotine Tension Irritability Headaches Difficulty in concentrating Drowsiness and trouble sleeping Increased appetite and weight gain

I know this is old news, but I can't believe this woman is not in jail. At least she's not allowed to work with children or live near any schools. http://news.aol.com/article/former-teacher-debra-lafave-allowed/744293

If it's for medical uses then....it would seem reasonable. I have heard time and time again that their is no clinical evidence that smoking marijuana is that bad for you. As much as I'd hate to quote Donald Rumsfield, "the absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence." I say this because from what I've seen, those who recreationally smoke marijuana a lot of times do nothing with their lives. I know how contriversal this topic is, but I personally do believe that marijuana is a gateway drug. If you smoke marijuana enough times your body will seek other ways to get high. Then you'll end up trying other drugs that are potentially dangerous such as cocaine, extacy, etc. The only reason alcohol is legal and marijuana isn't is simply because our bodies, and please correct me if I'm wrong, contain ADH (alcohol dehydrogenase). This is the enzyme that breaks down alcohol. Of course with alcohol you still should watch how my you drink with it, because like caffiene it is a diuretic (which controls the excretion of urination). Maybe this cafe is actually a great idea because I remember in the article it states, "Our plans go beyond serving food and marijuana," said Martinez. "We hope to have classes, seminars, even a Cannabis Community College, based here to help people learn about growing and other uses for cannabis." My grandfather who has parkinsons disease has actually benefitted from using marijuana, medically of course.

I didn't get a workout in today. It was busy. I had a final to deal with. I did good on it surprisingly, so that's something good that happened. Other good news is that Manowar, one of my favorite bands, has come out with a new EP single. I'm gonna get it, and then I can't wait until their new album "Hammer of the Gods" comes out. It'll be awesome, Manowar is such an intense band. Check them out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4uNW0TSFXg Lyrics: From a battle I've come To a battle I ride Blazing up to the sky Chains of fate Hold a fiery stride I'll see you again when I die High and mighty alone we are kings Whirlwinds of fire we ride Providence brought us the crown and the ring Covered with blood and our pride Heroes await me My enemies ride fast Knowing not this ride's their last Saddle my horse as I drink my last ale Bow string and steel will prevail High and mighty alone we are kings Whirlwinds of fire we ride Providence brought us the crown and the ring Covered with blood and our pride Odin, I await thee Your true son am I I hail you now as I die I pledge you my sword and to no man I kneel Ours is the kingdom of steel High and mighty alone we are kings Whirlwinds of fire we ride Providence brought us the crown and the ring Covered with blood and our pride

I did a morning run today and then later some stretching. I had to focus a lot on school work these past 2 weeks. My last final is luckily this wensday. I can't wait till that's over. I'll have a lot more free time. Although I'll still have to work no doubt, at least I'll have more time to rest, train, etc. As far as my emotional situation....needs work. And yes, emotional abuse, is just as serious as any kind of abuse. Be it phsyical, sexual, verbal, etc. As I have mentioned here plenty of times before, to all those on this site who have told me to, "grow a pair," "just get over it," "just move on with your life," etc, you should be ashamed of yourself. If you're not going to show me respect, and not take responsiblilty for your actions and the things you say, then I'll give you no respect. I know you don't care, but that's something that I would expect from heartless and soulless scum like you. So as a result I am in the process of working it all out. It won't be easy, but hey Rome wasn't bilt in a day.

This is true, but in the JLA/Avengers series, Superman said, "Captain, whether we fear we do too much or not enough," and Captain America finished, "we keep trying." Good words to live by. I'll try to contact them sometime before ordering them.

http://studsandspikes.com/buy/wristbandsbracelets-c-72.html I'm really hoping that these certain type of wristbands will have leather on the inside. There's a store (not related to the link above) here in the greater Boston area that sells spiked wristbands that are vinyl on the outisde, but leather on the inside. I know vinyl (PVC) is not eco friendly, but at least it's animal friendly. However either way when if I were to purchase the ones at the store here in the greater Boston area, it's really bad. It's like not only am I supporting animal torture, but enviornmental torture too. So I'm curious does anyone know if this link above is for real? Also does anyone know of a good place where I can purchase spiked vegan wristbands?

I haven't been training like I usually have been. Things are just so intensely frustrating right now. I at least got some stretching and soft chi exercises in today. Other than that my life has been a living hell. I'm not giving up though, but still I can't help but be angry and sad

Though I am working on the things I desperatly need to change, I am always remembering who I am. I am remembering what I am fighting for, I am recalling my inner truths and my virtues. I stand for justice, life, wisdom, trust, loyalty, piety, serenity, but most importantly I stand for soul. For it is the soul which carries on for all of eternity. My flesh and my blood will slowly fade away once I die, but my soul and my spirit shall live on for all of eternity. Once again I have been thinking of my dog Lucky. He truly was a dog of honor. He may have been "just a dog", in many people's eyes, but that dog had a soul. In fact he had more of a soul than most people I know. I don't care how cliche that is, but it's the truth. And though his body is no longer with us here on earth, the memories I hold inside of him keep him alive. Just like the song "He Lives In You," from the Lion King 2 says, "He lives in you He lives in me He watches over Everything we see Into the water Into the truth In your reflection He lives in you." When he died I swore to him and to the gods that I would take his spirit with me once he died. Same thing with my cat Patches. I will always Lucky and Patches. I will never forget you no matter how dark things may seem to be. And although change is good I will never change who I am.

Today turned out a lot better than I thought. Although I unfortunatly was not able to get any exercise in I did have a great time at the holdiay party at my aunt's house. Best of all I brought my friend Serena. She is an amazing woman, the reason being is not because she is beautiful on the outside, but she is beautiful on the inside as well. I let her no about how I felt about her and she let me know how she felt about me. She said she really cared about me and we shared an intimate moment with each other (which did not involve sex). However on my way home from dropping her off for some reason I felt depressed. For privacy reasons I don't care to disclose too much, but plain and simple and need help psychological and emotionally as well as sexually. And quite frankly that is something I seriously need to work out with my social worker. Until then I have to hang in there and never give up no matter the odds, no matter the consequences and no matter how dark and gloomy things may seem to be. Though there are things I desperatly need to change, I must never change who I am.

Today I did some major stretching. I used some yoga poses as I usually do in stretching. I can almost get a full split, but things come up which cause me to become so frustrated that I skip a day. It's very hard to explain it all, but basically sometimes I need to take it easy. Any help and advice that I get sometimes isn't enough. what I need is support because there are things that I can't do alone sometimes and because of that it gets so hard from time to time.

I remember back in second grade I heard this song. It helped to lift my spirit back then. I have come so far in my since then life and still live by the the words of this song. Especially the lyrics: "Don't re-arrange, no need to change Stay like you are, keep it all the same But as you move along in your life Keep an open mind, and don't forget That if you gotta do somethin', gotta do somethin' Believe in yourself, yourself, yourself Hey!" It helps me to realize my truth and the things I fight for day by day. I know that with great pride there must also come great shame. In more understanding terms no one likes an arrogant asshole. I have also learned that in order to influence change in the world, own my soul must be unchangeable. Despite how badly my conscious has been raped over the years, I must be weather all the lies and illusions without becoming lost. And my heart must tough the poison of hatred without being harmed. I can never bow to the will of others and free not just my mind, but my heart and my soul from all false pride and continue on to seek my truths, and to always be true to myself against all the odds and against all the pain. I will hold on to "what if" and carry on because the gods continue to test me to see if I will give up. I do not fear the gods though and never am I their slave. I am descended from them as is the person who lives down the street or the woman who sleeps on the bench with her shopping cart full of recycled cans. I share the earth and all known existence with those who dwell in it. I'm doing this for not just myself, but for all that I hold sacred to. My greater family be it by blood or not. And for the animals, the trees and everything. The fact that I am here is a miracle and the fact that I have to freedom to feel emotions and face my destiny with great courage and great honor is the a gift. The past is indeed history and the future holds many mysteries. In the words of master Ugwei form the movie "Kung Fu Panda," "that is why they call it the present." I know that there is still so much I don't already know of the martial law, but at the same time I must realize that the best answers will only come in time. My sensei and other instructor from Ten Chi Kenpo have taught me well. I still to this day live on by their words. I was always taught me to remember seek knowledge and do what's best for me. Now I am learning Hung Gar and though my sifu has much to teach, and from him I know more than I have ever known. I must humble myself to know this: "Physical strength is no substitute for perception. For perception is the key which unlocks the intangible powers of the spirit." -Ryuken, from "Fist of the North Star"

Everytime I log on to the chat no one is there. What is the best time to log on to the chat in order to actually talk to people?

Morning Cardio and then Parkour practice later.

Seriously it's like people don't give a shit anymore. They believe that they're good people and put me down be labeling me as a criminal. They don't even try, they tell me to "stop playing the victum" and "just move on." We all have to move on eventually, but we must never forget. The old saying goes "those who don't remember the lessons from history are dumbed to repeat it" or something like that. It's like no matter what I do people have a problem with it. I could have a broken arm, a broken leg and a broken leg and still people won't even offer help. They might as well tell me "use your other arm/other leg." It's like no one wants to offer any help anymore. It's like I can't even cry anymore. I'm not trying to sound tough when I say this, but I have become so numb when it comes to saddness. I literally can't cry because of fear of seeming weak. And it's not as simple as just getting away from my problems because of my current financial situation I can't move out of my house. I don't have any other support than my social worker or neuro psychologist. MY family is not there for me at all in any way shape or form. It sucks and I can't stand it anymore

Throwing a burrito eh? I would've thrown something too. I don't know if it would be a burrito though.