offense74 Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Yes, you've seen 'em on TV. This thread is all about nonsense workout machines and the gizmos hiding under your bed, collecting dust. You don't have to admit that you bought it just point at it on the 'net so we all can have a good laugh.I'll start:The Sauna Belt http://www.erlebnisladen.de/internationalshop/bilder/S_F_abdominalmachines/velform_sauna_belt.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 I especially like the sauna belt around the woman's butt! As if sweating off fluids is a permanent weight solution! There are so many bad ones out there (probably 95% of the gadgets and gizmos they sell for weight loss or "toning" are a crock). I think many of them are ab gadgets (and the commercials make it sound like you can lose weight just by doing ab work---at least if you don't read the fine print that says results were obtained combining the ab gadget with exercise and diet: which would have gotten those results on their own!). I find the "Ab Lounge" somewhat fascinating. Imagine being able to work abs while reclining on your lounge chair! And they always compare the most difficult move on the ab lounge to regular crunches. I also think it's interesting how they show how superior their product is to regular exercises: like by showing someone doing a really bad squat with their knees jutting way out over their toes, or someone doing a head-pulling crunch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeaSiren Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 I find the "Ab Lounge" somewhat fascinating. Imagine being able to work abs while reclining on your lounge chair! And they always compare the most difficult move on the ab lounge to regular crunches. The first time I saw this ad I was laughing so hard! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarz Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 I find the "Ab Lounge" somewhat fascinating. Imagine being able to work abs while reclining on your lounge chair! And they always compare the most difficult move on the ab lounge to regular crunches. The first time I saw this ad I was laughing so hard! Sounds like an ab workout in itself Seasiren. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
compassionategirl Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 The first item, the sauna wrap or whatever, looks like it would be GREAT for muscle pain releif though. I can totally see myself wrapping it around my stomach and using it for cramps. IT would be like a portable heating pad on your aching muscles. I like that idea! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FormicaLinoleum Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 I also think it's interesting how they show how superior their product is to regular exercises: like by showing someone doing a really bad squat with their knees jutting way out over their toes, or someone doing a head-pulling crunch.My friends and I like to make fun of that aspect of infomercials. I noted that one trend is for them to say something along the lines of "tired of doing [whatever] the traditional way?" with images of someone trying to do whatever in the worst possible way, failing, and making exaggerated faces of pain and frustration. So now when we have trouble doing something mundane or are complaining about it we like to use that line--for example, "tired of going to the bathroom the traditional way?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 (edited) You know, I think you've got an idea there! We have the "ab lounge," why not the "squat toilet"? A new way to do squats! I kind of wonder how the inventor of the Ab Lounge came up with the thing. Did he sit down in a broken lounge chair and have a tough time getting up, and notice it worked his abs? Was he on vacation around poolside, noticing how many people just vegged out in the lounge chairs and thinking "wow, these people really need to work on those abs!" On HSN (home shopping channel), they're selling some ab dohicky that give you electric shocks to stimulate the abs muscles. They always compare it to doing regular crunches, asking "could you do these for 20, 40 minutes? " I always think "If you have to do them for 20-40 minutes, you probably aren't dong them effectively in the first place! Edited January 16, 2006 by Kathryn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeganEssentials Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Yes, there's definitely a lot of crap out there! Oddly enough, I considered getting myself the Sauna Belt for one reason alone - if I'm getting close to contest time and need to drop a last pound or two in weight, it may come in handy the morning of the event to make my class . Other than that and as a semi-therapeutic item it is absolute junk, but in odd circumstances such as what I'm considering it might have a very limited usage. Though, let it be shown for the record that I have no intentin of getting a Bowflex, Total Gym, Ab Wheel, Electric Muscle Stimulator or any of the other silly gadgets that you'll find on late-night TV Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FormicaLinoleum Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 You know, I think you've got an idea there! We have the "ab lounge," why not the "squat toilet"? A new way to do squats!I'm trying to picture what that might look like. Though you know, sometimes when I am "hovering" in a public toilet, I think that I am glad that I have nice strong legs from squatting to keep me steady! I'm not sure what implications that has though... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
offense74 Posted January 16, 2006 Author Share Posted January 16, 2006 http://www.fitnessquest.com/images/alli.gif He just have to be in pain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
offense74 Posted January 16, 2006 Author Share Posted January 16, 2006 http://media.popularmechanics.com/images/tb_9707STSSB.jpg Like a little baby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
offense74 Posted January 16, 2006 Author Share Posted January 16, 2006 On HSN (home shopping channel), they're selling some ab dohicky that give you electric shocks to stimulate the abs muscles.All it does is to mix the potato chips with the coke in your stomach. Turn it on and become the human mixer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonathan Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 the most useless machines are those silly inner and outer thigh machines in the gym. im not sure what they are supposed to do, but its nothing you cant get from squatting. plus they are super easy (10reps at max weight is just a warmup!) and i agree those ab things are a waste of time. people (Compash?!) seem to have a fixation with abs, and there are whole lines of people making money out of it. jonathan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeaSiren Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 and i agree those ab things are a waste of time. people (Compash?!) seem to have a fixation with abs, and there are whole lines of people making money out of it. jonathan I must think up a new ab machine! Hmmmm, "the board" (2x4), "the brick" (ingeniously packaged brick or weight)..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daywalker Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Offense, great thread. Hilarious with what crazy junk you show up here The human mixer - LOL! You know, I think you've got an idea there! We have the "ab lounge," why not the "squat toilet"? A new way to do squats!Sorry, Kathryn, but that's not new. It's a plain hole in the ground, very common on south european camping areas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
compassionategirl Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 and i agree those ab things are a waste of time. people (Compash?!) seem to have a fixation with abs, and there are whole lines of people making money out of it. jonathan Um, I said that the sauna wrap would be great for my stomach cramps - that is all. There seems to be an implication somewhere in your message that I dont like. Are you comparing me to those misguided, unfortunate souls that think they are gonna see a 6 pack with an ab gizmo? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonathan Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 hehe! nah - im talking those silly situp crunch things! all of us poor guys are expected to have six packs which is why so many of them are produced! oooh - heres a picture of me and my former six pack: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v231/bob280784/P1010140.jpg though maybe this one is better: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v231/bob280784/P1010002a.jpg see i used to have one - and i never used one of those silly ab contraptions! jonathan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonathan Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 nat, as a connoisseur of abs, i think you will agree the symetry is immaculate but then what use are pretty boy abs when you can look like this:http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v231/bob280784/P1010050.jpgand be much much much stronger! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robert Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v231/bob280784/P1010002a.jpg Jonathan, this photo it truly awesome! I saw it when I was looking through your photobucket photos on VF.net a day or two ago. The shadows, the veins, the abs! It all looks awesome. I know you're bulking now and not concerned with that kind of stuff, I just think it is one of the great vegan athlete photos I've seen. Thanks for posting them on this forum too. Rob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
compassionategirl Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 An "ab conesuer" (or however you spelled it). Yup, I'm DEFINITELY one of those. Yes, you have amazing perfectly symmetrical abs yourself. Seriously, they are perfectly symmetrical. I have seen those pics before of you - I believe you posted them on the ad god thread. I agree with Rob that pic is damn awesome. Your abs looks divine in that pic. I know you are also one of the lucky ones blessed with perfect ab genes like Tarz and some others here. Only one problem though....................... They're gone! Bring back your perfectly symmetrical and flawless stomach soon!! Those gizmos sell because, to be blunt, people are too lazy to put in the time and effort and discipline that is required to achieve sculpted and chiseled physiques. No, you cant "sweat" your way to a 6 pack. Bloody ridiculous! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonathan Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 it aint gonna to happen babe - they're gone for good - ive had my bodybuilder phase, proved i have awesome abs, now they are tucked away so that i can grow and get super strong!! maybe oneday, when im much much older, ill bring them out of hiding, but until then I'm sorry! jonathan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
compassionategirl Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 it aint gonna to happen babe - they're gone for good - But I never had a chance to say goodbye and make peace with the fact that I will never see them again. Tis a sad day for Compash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarz Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 it aint gonna to happen babe - they're gone for good - But I never had a chance to say goodbye and make peace with the fact that I will never see them again. Tis a sad day for Compash. I still have mine Nat. What about Topher, I know he's bulking too for now. Alex - you still have abs in the off-season?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonathan Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 cheers for the compliment rob - i didnt see it first time round! put it this way, if i could be ripped, gain easily and still be strong, i would, but its not possible to gain effectively (especially as i still have quite a long way to go) and maintain that kinda definition. maybe, if you are all nice to me, when im at 145kg or something nuts like that, ill drop 10kg and be all ripped. god - pleasing the bloody prols again! jonathan ps - tarz - we should have a vote on the forum for whos abs were/are the best! obviously ill use that darker photo above, and you use whatever one you want. results could be interesting!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
compassionategirl Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 it aint gonna to happen babe - they're gone for good - But I never had a chance to say goodbye and make peace with the fact that I will never see them again. Tis a sad day for Compash. I still have mine Nat. yes you do, and your abs are my favourite abs in the whole damn world. Thank God you have no interest in bulking up and losing them! That [potential lil debacle would send me to therapy. I dont think I could cope with that. I love how Tarz is so lean, cut and STILL strong - how many of you bulkers think you could beat his 74 pushup record? And that is 74 pushups with an 8 pack my friends! P.S. I had to bow my head in a moment of silence for Jonathan's abs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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