ticktock Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 I say this with great trepidation on a Vegan site.... But I almost wish I had never started my journey into all this. I wish I didn't know, and still didn't care. Since becoming a vegan...... all I think about is animal cruelty. I can't look at the people around me the same way.... I'm perplexed as to how this hasn't caused an international anger. How can my family and best friends in the world be so...... well, heartless? I've provided insight and information in the most positive ways I know how, but they don't care. I can't look at a stack of pancakes without getting sad, I can't go near the meat aisle at the grocery without getting nauseous. And I've begun avoiding certain food based social situations, just because I don't feel like dealing with these feelings. Watching everyone eat such grossness. Maybe I'm just going through a stage, and it'll pass. I'm going on a trip to a cabin with a few of my best friends next weekend, and I'm dreading it. Simply because I don't want to deal with explaining myself, or watching them not care and eat their ignorance. On the plus side, I started a local vegan monthly meet-up group, so at least there's that! But I don't want to give up my current friends. I just want to stop judging and caring about what's on their plates. Animal cruelty seems to be on my mind 24/7. I wish it wasn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 What sickens me is the fact that they don't care. Seeing them eat it isn't a big deal for me anymore, since that's just one aspect. The problem is that they have no feelings for the animals, they are selfish. I am constantly furious about it, I don't think there is a way to get around that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ticktock Posted January 13, 2009 Author Share Posted January 13, 2009 I'm constantly furious too..... but isn't that a horrible way to live? I mean, there's really no alternative, I realize.... Nevermind. There's no solution to this. We're all selfish about something. I just need to befriend more vegans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acesfull Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 (edited) i think most people would care, if they werent so brainwashed. remember, they didnt necessaily choose it, they were born into it. the best we can do is spread the word and lead by example. no one wants to hear preaching, but they'll always watch if you demonstrate life can be lived differently. Edited January 13, 2009 by acesfull Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 I'm constantly furious too..... but isn't that a horrible way to live? Yeah it is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
veggieprincess Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 Well, it sounds like you haven't been Vegan for a terribly long time, so the best piece of advice that I can give you is to remember that you didn't always feel the way that you did. You probably ate and lived mindlessly for years, so how can you expect any different from your friends or family? They aren't where you're at right now. And they may never want to be. You had an life changing ephiphamy that they may never have.... and if you try to "make" them share your views, you'll usually only push them farther away. Try to see a "glass-half-full" approach to life. You can look at all of the cruelty in the world and get sad or you can be greatful that YOU aren't being cruel to animals. You can get through to your family and friends by being the healthiest, most positive vibrant person that you know, and then they WILL COME TO YOU wanting to know more about your lifestyle. But how many people are you going to attract to your cause being sad, depressed, negative, not fun to be around... making them feel guilty or bad about their choices. The best thing to do for yourself and for the cause you believe in is to find a way to WANT THEM to have what you have by being a better person. Someone they want to emulate. It doesen't happen with words, bullying, guilt... it happens by being a role model. Someone they look up to. Think of creative ways that you can draw more people to your way of life by being a different you. But its human nature to resist something that people feel is being forced upon them. The next time you see a yummy stack of pancakes, instead of getting sad... think of creative ways that you can make them Vegan Pancakes That's another thing... .show people how yummy, fun and easy it is to be Vegan. Think of how good you'd feel cooking everyone a Vegan meal that they had no clue was Vegan... and then you tell them after and there mouths drop to the floor. Things like this are fun, positive.... and will draw more people to you and your way of life Don't be sad. Life is too short and there are too many wonderful things to experience and do. If you're going to make a difference in this world... it starts with finding a way to be happy, positive and see the good in people and in the world. There is good everywhere. It just depends on what you choose to look at. Choose to see the good, not the bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acesfull Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 Well, it sounds like you haven't been Vegan for a terribly long time, so the best piece of advice that I can give you is to remember that you didn't always feel the way that you did. You probably ate and lived mindlessly for years, so how can you expect any different from your friends or family? They aren't where you're at right now. And they may never want to be. You had an life changing ephiphamy that they may never have.... and if you try to "make" them share your views, you'll usually only push them farther away. Try to see a "glass-half-full" approach to life. You can look at all of the cruelty in the world and get sad or you can be greatful that YOU aren't being cruel to animals. You can get through to your family and friends by being the healthiest, most positive vibrant person that you know, and then they WILL COME TO YOU wanting to know more about your lifestyle. But how many people are you going to attract to your cause being sad, depressed, negative, not fun to be around... making them feel guilty or bad about their choices. The best thing to do for yourself and for the cause you believe in is to find a way to WANT THEM to have what you have by being a better person. Someone they want to emulate. It doesen't happen with words, bullying, guilt... it happens by being a role model. Someone they look up to. Think of creative ways that you can draw more people to your way of life by being a different you. But its human nature to resist something that people feel is being forced upon them. The next time you see a yummy stack of pancakes, instead of getting sad... think of creative ways that you can make them Vegan Pancakes That's another thing... .show people how yummy, fun and easy it is to be Vegan. Think of how good you'd feel cooking everyone a Vegan meal that they had no clue was Vegan... and then you tell them after and there mouths drop to the floor. Things like this are fun, positive.... and will draw more people to you and your way of life Don't be sad. Life is too short and there are too many wonderful things to experience and do. If you're going to make a difference in this world... it starts with finding a way to be happy, positive and see the good in people and in the world. There is good everywhere. It just depends on what you choose to look at. Choose to see the good, not the bad. +1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blabbate Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 i think most people would care, if they werent so brainwashed. remember, they didnt necessaily choose it, they were born into it. the best we can do is spread the word and lead by example. no one wants to hear preaching, but they'll always watch if you demonstrate life can be lived differently.Agreed! They aren't doing it to be bad people. They're just doing what they know. So show them differently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobertSupreme Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 VeggiePrincess Post: +10,0002 I was like that for a long time and also concluded that it is no way to live and is a very detrimental way of thinking. If something doesn't feel right then it usually isn't, you could try not caring for a week and seeing what happens? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ticktock Posted January 13, 2009 Author Share Posted January 13, 2009 Well, it sounds like you haven't been Vegan for a terribly long time, so the best piece of advice that I can give you is to remember that you didn't always feel the way that you did. You probably ate and lived mindlessly for years, so how can you expect any different from your friends or family? They aren't where you're at right now. And they may never want to be. You had an life changing ephiphamy that they may never have.... and if you try to "make" them share your views, you'll usually only push them farther away. Try to see a "glass-half-full" approach to life. You can look at all of the cruelty in the world and get sad or you can be greatful that YOU aren't being cruel to animals. You can get through to your family and friends by being the healthiest, most positive vibrant person that you know, and then they WILL COME TO YOU wanting to know more about your lifestyle. But how many people are you going to attract to your cause being sad, depressed, negative, not fun to be around... making them feel guilty or bad about their choices. The best thing to do for yourself and for the cause you believe in is to find a way to WANT THEM to have what you have by being a better person. Someone they want to emulate. It doesen't happen with words, bullying, guilt... it happens by being a role model. Someone they look up to. Think of creative ways that you can draw more people to your way of life by being a different you. But its human nature to resist something that people feel is being forced upon them. The next time you see a yummy stack of pancakes, instead of getting sad... think of creative ways that you can make them Vegan Pancakes That's another thing... .show people how yummy, fun and easy it is to be Vegan. Think of how good you'd feel cooking everyone a Vegan meal that they had no clue was Vegan... and then you tell them after and there mouths drop to the floor. Things like this are fun, positive.... and will draw more people to you and your way of life Don't be sad. Life is too short and there are too many wonderful things to experience and do. If you're going to make a difference in this world... it starts with finding a way to be happy, positive and see the good in people and in the world. There is good everywhere. It just depends on what you choose to look at. Choose to see the good, not the bad.Wow. You're right. So right. I am, i guess obviously, a new vegan. It's hard not to feel ed with the state of things, but I'm going to keep this post and advice in mind. Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 I can't relate to what VP is saying but that's great if it can help you to feel better. The way I deal with it is to just accept that existence is pretty rubbish, and the majority of people are weak and selfish, and to not have any hope beyond that. Do your best, work on yourself, and rely on yourself, don't have high (or any) expectations of other people because you'll be let down, view them as a lost cause, it's less painful that way. Do your own thing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ticktock Posted January 13, 2009 Author Share Posted January 13, 2009 Do your best, work on yourself..... view them as a lost causeoh man, that's depressing. But helpful, actually. I can work on being more 'positive' and setting a better example in days to come, but this I can implement right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CollegeB Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 You can't control other people unless you have a ton of money or use force on them. I think what you are going through is a phase. I try not to spread the message to family and have stopped with friends. In my experience these people are generally not receptive to veganism, aside from my Dad who respects a healthy lifestyle. I agree that it is best work on yourself as you are the only person you can control. Learn more about nutrition, build up muscles, meet other vegans. I've never been happy with a life lived to get control over others. It is one that won't make you happy, and all the worry and unhappiness you have is not saving any animals. I think it reinforces negative stereotypes of vegans, which may make you more pure or whatever, but it's not good for vegans overall. Vegan outreach was very inspirational to me as far as interacting with people and spreading the message. They invite people to learn and use reason. They acknowledge stages of change and realistically not everyone is receptive to change or ready to change, take em' as they come. The most change i've seen in people has been through example. They see i'm fit, no health problems, not polluting as much with my diet, not causing pain to other life (moral). Dispel all the vegan myths by your very existence just as Robert and the rest of us do. We build muscle and live normal lives. Veganism is one of the last things people find out about me that way any perception they have of me is not a result of veganism, they don't get the chance to make that connection. I was one of those asshole vegans in people's faces all the time, and it did harm to the message and to me. Now instead of arguments people ask me about veganism. Why I made the decision, about nutrition, etc. Then I get to hear how they are eating less meat, feeling more healthy etc. then I just reinforce the things that fit my message such as "ohh that's great, you are reducing your meat consumption, and you are feeling better. hmm..." Not sure about this cabin thing. As long as its not a hunting excursion you might be better off. ride around in boats, hike, take in the sun, enjoy your life, then fuel it with foods that aren't dead animals. It eats on people. Ever had a significant other or friend tell you how guilty they feel eating meat in your presence? It's working... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcina Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 When I first became a vegan I was pissed off at the world for treating animals and the environment with such cruelty and disregard. I used to snap at my friends and family and pretty much be a bitch. I've gotten used to the fact that their views will probably never be the same as mine. I think the worst was the guilt I had of not becoming a vegan sooner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zack Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 Keep in mind that you were once omnivorous as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ticktock Posted January 14, 2009 Author Share Posted January 14, 2009 Keep in mind that you were once omnivorous as well.True, but I didn't have anyone providing me with information. For the record, I'm not lecturing or bitching at anyone in my life. In their presence, I'm not condemning their choices. I've been tactful about how and when I reveal anything I've learned.... the facts that got me to reconsider my own lifestyle. Such selfishness abounds. But we all have our vices. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vegan Joe Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 I think many, sometimes think that it would be easier if you didn't have to go the extra mile to be who you are. But 98% of those who do, stop thinking about it, and go on as they would, knowing what is right for them. If you knew how much See's Candy I got from people this Christmas and the desire I had to eat some of it, yet ate none. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
awaken375 Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 International anger? You mean like, a war? That's what this life is. Being vegan means being harassed. I deal with it with all my ex-family, all my ex-friends, all my ex-zombiehood. Don't let gay zombies get to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ticktock Posted January 14, 2009 Author Share Posted January 14, 2009 Being vegan means being harassed.How sad. All these replies are making me realize how infantile my original post must sound. I'm still new to all this. And still coming to terms with the world at large, I suppose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
awaken375 Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 this will help:http://www.veggieboards.com/boards/showthread.php?t=84454 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thendanisays Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 i feel ya. its lessened a lot over the years, but i remember vividly a moment when i was about 19 and i was talking to my best friend on the phone and i was trying to have a logical and rational debate with him about veganism, sweatshops, deforestation, basically a list of things that actually kept me up at night. and his apathy towards it all finally drove me to snap. I understand being ignorant. We were all ignorant of certain things at one point. But once you are presented with the cold-hard truth, i couldnt wrap my head around how someone who i loved and respected so much could just not give a shit. There really wasnt much of a conclusion to that conversation btw, but i remember that it ended with me in hysterics. On a day to day basis, I do show people that being vegan is the best ever in the foods that i eat, the health that i have, my energy. And if people ask, which they often do, i fill em in on why i went vegan. Sometimes things take time to sink in I suppose. I still have faith that a lot of people close to me will eventually be vegan (my mom went vegan from an omni at age 41!) just from the example that i give. So there are upsides. I do sometimes wish (selfishly) that i could care a teesy bit less about these things, merely for the sake of my own sanity. But in the grand scheme of things, i know that I wouldnt trade one ounce of my passion for these causes even if it would cause me much less anxiety. It just wouldnt feel right. And if a little anxiety is the price i have to pay to make myself work for a better world, then so be it. (and dont think your post is infantile--we've all been there.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
awaken375 Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 Caring is human, don't compare yourself to dehumanized individuals. They executed Socrates for caring and talking about it. The problem is you can't expect people to learn from being told the problem. You have to be the change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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